Having started so young, Maru would have been an idol for more than ten years. That’s a decade fraught with recording sessions, touring all over the world, interviewing for magazines and television shows, and many, many short naps crammed in between.

Though what was originally his whole life planned ahead of him, came to an abrupt stop after walking out of the meeting between C-CLOWN and the Yedang Board of Executives.

Afterwards, he realized his time as a performer was up.

 

Now Maru played video games almost every night before bed. He never paid attention to Kangjun and T.K. sitting in the opposite corner of the room where the television and ­Xbox were. None of them noticed Siwoo enter the room.

“Dinner’s ready.”

And with that, Kangjun and T.K. paused their game and exited the room. As such, the opportunity arose for Siwoo to check-in with Maru.

“Hey, how are you holding up?”

“I’m fine.” Maru responded, pulling his earbuds out.

“Are you planning to stay with Yedang like Kangjun?”

At the last meeting, the Board of Executives mentioned the possibility of reviving the group in the future, though whether this was one year or four years down the road, no one knew. If anything, it required the boys to remain as Yedang ‘trainees’ until the Board saw fit to fund C-CLOWN.

“I’m not sure yet. How about you?”

“I think I’m moving back home for sure.” Siwoo explains.

“You’re not gonna stay?”

“I miss my family.”

The two of them then get up and leave the room together.

“You’re lucky, Jaejoon. You’re young so you can do whatever you want, unlike the rest of us.”

“Hmph.”

 

…

Now ‘ezGank’ was a player on that Maru met online a year ago. After realizing how good of a team they made, a high level Paladin and Shaman, the two would often brave and plains of the Northerlands together, to slay dragons, raid dungeons, all for the glory of magical relics and fantastical alcoholic brews.

They were a virtually inseparable duo.

Though it wasn’t until after the Board’s decision to end C-CLOWN, that the Maru was given a surprising proposition:

Let’s meet up.

Maru typed his response hesitantly. In real life?

Yeah.

And perhaps it’s the fact that he’s known ezGank for a year, and the fact that ezGank once mentioned that they also lived conveniently in Seoul. And maybe it also took being in a midlife crisis, though at at the age of eighteen, for Maru to reply as he did that night:

When and where?

 

…

 

“What a stupid idea.” Maru mutters to himself.

Under a night sky lit by neon and LED lights, pedestrians bustle across the city square, perhaps to go late night shopping, or to meet up with friends at a pub.

Maru is the only one not hurrying across the pavement – he merely sits on a bench waiting for his internet pal to arrive. He has no photo of the other, not even a description of the outfit planned to wear. It’s a blind date but without the chance of romance.

A boy roughly his age sits beside him. He has a round face and long shaggy hair. Despite the cold, he’s scarfing down some food that’s contained within a white Styrofoam box.

It must be him. Maru thinks to himself.

“Hey, do you play DungeonQuest?”

The boy looks back at him, a precarious speck of sauce on the edge of his mouth.

“…Yes?”

“Are you a Shaman?”

“…Yes?”

“Oh sweet,” Maru smiles with relief. “I’m JaeDoom.”

Maru sticks his hand out for a shake, though it hangs in the autumn air without an embrace.

“…I beg your pardon?” The round-faced boy asks.

“That’s my… Summoner name?”

“…Oh, okay.” The other boy responds, moving away from Maru.

Eventually the boy gets up and leaves altogether, despite not finishing his meal. Maru mutters a line of curse words before returning his frozen hand to his jacket pocket.

Four more people come by to sit on that bench: an elderly lady with appeared to be her granddaughter, a stern-looking business man, and a boy who looked roughly a little older and much cooler than Maru.

Though none of them seemed to be the one Maru was waiting for. He merely sits, trying to resist the cold in his jacket which, sad to say, is a bit too thin for the weather. Though right before Maru was convinced he had been stood up, one more stranger takes a seat beside him.

“JaeDoom?”

Maru lifts his weary head up to meet the face. It’s a girl, about his age, in a long black coat. Peeking beneath her coat is a pair of dark blue jeans, a pair of boots, and a refreshingly light blue turtleneck sweater. Her hair, dyed auburn, seems to catch the glow of the city lights.

“Yeah that’s me.”

She’s adorable – adorable enough for Maru to pray he doesn’t choke.

“I’m sorry I’m late, I completely forgot I had to help my Dad close up shop before coming here.”

A moment of silence between them passes, as Maru stares in disbelief.

“I didn’t expect you to be—

“To be a girl?”

“Y-yeah.” Maru stutters. “But your character’s a boy.”

“Tree spirits don’t have genders.”

“But why not play something like an elf—

“Because I didn’t want to.” She explains, coolly.

“Are you actually ezGank?”

It’s the girl’s turn to stare with disbelief. She begins speaking with a confidence that strikes Maru.

“Last night you died trying to solo the troll king, because you got cocky. You were lucky because I was carrying an elixir.”

The boy blushes at the recollection – the wounds of embarrassment still quite fresh.

“Alright, what do I call you?” He asks.

“Call me Youngji.”

“Youngji,” Maru echoes. “You can call me Jaejoon.”

“Alright then, Jaejoon it is.” She smiles effortlessly.

Maru begins to feel sweat for once tonight.

 

…

The night itself is a long walk around the city. The snowfall is light, but heavy enough to drape the streets in a glistening wonderland. The streets themselves hum with the excitement of the holidays – the storefronts with their cozy sweaters, the buskers, the food vendors selling grilled snacks and warm drinks.

“You seriously don’t recognize me?”

“Should I?”

Youngji appears to be completely unaware of who Maru is. Perhaps it’s the hat he’s wearing – either that she really doesn’t know ­C-CLOWN. Though Maru isn’t offended. It’s refreshing to be able to enjoy the Seoul night life as an ordinary pedestrian, without a film crew or a swarm of fans.

“It’s alright then.”

“You’ve made me curious. You’re either some famous person, or someone who’s been stalking me.”

“You think you’re worth stalking?”

She smiles in reply, taking another sip of her coffee as they continue braving the streets.

Eventually they come across a market. It’s boisterous and well-lit, the aroma of food calling to them from the many stalls within. They stay a while and browse through.

“Seriously though, should I know you?”

Maru’s unsure at first, but he feels like it wouldn’t hurt his chances with this girl – he begins dancing and singing to Shaking Heart in the middle of the market.

Dajabeun mami heundeulligo isseo
Tto babocheoreom ireoke seo isseo

Midway through, he feels his cheeks burning, the lyrics stuck in his throat, as passersby begin to stare at him funny. He tones down the showiness of his impromptu performance.

Wae naega ireoneunji ireoneunji
Miryeonhage geu soneul japgo isseo

With that, he concludes with an improvised bow. A singular pair of hands can be heard clapping amidst the chatter of the market.

“Oh,” Youngji applauds, “You’re from that group! C-CLOWN?”

“Yeah.”

“My gosh that’s an old song. I can’t remember the last time I saw you… it was Let’s Love, was it?”

Maru shakes his head reluctantly. “Yeah, that’s right.”

“What happened?”

“I can’t say, we’ve been bound to a confidentiality agreement.”

“You think I’d tell anyone?”

“It gets complicated too. Stuff about mismanaging money and new executives... anyways they’re discontinuing the group.”

“Oh no.” She wails.

“Yeah.”

They continue walking, though the sound of their voices is replaced by the roar of the market. Maru looks at his feet while he marches, lost in the thought of the C-CLOWN’s days being numbered. He feels Youngji’s eyes on him, intently.

“What are you going to do?”

“I don’t know yet.” Maru replies. “Everyone says I have so much choices, but… I feel like it just makes things worse. I don’t know what to do.”

“What do you mean?”

“There’s so many things I can do. All of my hyings are saying I can go back to school, or audition for another company or even stay within the company. I’m not lazy… I just don’t want to do something I’m going to regret.”

Their path takes them out of the market and into the silence of a courtyard. There are trees there, wrapped in twinkling lights, surrounded at the base by a small perimeter of cobblestone. There are several other people in the courtyard, sitting on the cobblestone walls, enjoying the lights and the silence of the winter night.

Much to his surprise, he feels Youngji pulling his arm and guiding them towards one of the trees. She says nothing, and Maru doesn't protest. They simply march and plop down at their destination. And for a moment they enjoy the view and the quiet, along with the rest of the visitors.

“I think what everyone means is… since you’re young, you have time to make a choice. It's not a bad thing to sit and wait and think. Don't rush yourself.”

And slowly but surely, Maru feels himself smiling once again.

“That makes sense.”

Simultaneously, the two take sips out of their coffee cups and stare up at the city horizon, all floating dots of white and yellow.

“You know I still can’t believe you’re a girl.”

“It’s not that hard to believe.”

“You’re also very pretty girl.”

“…”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine.”

“There’s also a no dating clause to my contract… so I wouldn’t date you… I mean I can’t because there’s that contract… it doesn't mean I wouldn't date you... ugh.”

Maru scratches his head in frustration. Youngji appears to be anything but offended – if anything she’s doing her best to control her laughter.

“No, I’m just bad at taking compliments.”

“Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.”

Another silence passes.

“Too bad you’re on contract.”

“Why’s that?”

“You’re a pretty nice guy, yourself.”