Ricky scanned his appearances from head to toe once again in the mirror. His hands ran through his black hair, styling it, before moving down to tighten his thin black tie. Perfect, like he always told himself every morning. The sleepy gaze of him unintentionally landed on the reflection of his jaw. He snorted, not having any idea how he should feel about it. Happy to look manlier since it got sharper, yet he reminded himself the 5 kilos he had lost within the previous week. The glutton pig has broken the record for the first time in 21 years.

“Good morning, Changhyun-ah,” a soft voice greeted him as he walked down the wide spiral marble stairs. Not to forget, a calming smile spread on the person’s face. “Your breakfast’s ready.”

“Good morning, Mom.” He gave a back hug and a peck on her cheek before taking a seat beside her. “Where are the others?” the question popped after his quick scan on the dining table, finding that it’s only his plate laid there.

“Dad took a midnight flight to China last night and your brother just left 15 minutes ago,” she spoke while pouring fresh milk into his favorite mug. 

Ricky, who had just started eating, stopped for a second. The answer was a slap to wake him up again. He arrived home that late and missed the news about his own family, a thing he barely did in the past. What sank him deeper was that he did all of that for nothing. Instead, an upcoming major collapse for them. “Oh, really?” he tried to act usual and continued eating, but with an avoiding gaze. “Is he going for the company extension?”

“Maybe, I don’t know.” His mom simply shrugged. “I haven’t known his plan yet. We didn’t get to talk much on the last few days,” she took a sip of her herb tea. “How’s it going?”

Ricky understood what’s his mom was talking about. It’s about that damned thing he’s been taking care of under the name of responsibility. “Doing great!” he grinned, showing that famous bright side of him which everybody loved. “Wishing great success will be coming soon! I’m working on some sectors currently,” informed him before getting back on munching his food.

His face darkened by the time his mom was off guard from watching him. The wide happy grin vanished, replaced by a bitter and shaky smile addressed to the guy reflected on the dining table, Yoo Changhyun. A form of encouragement, he thought.

Later he found himself sitting behind the wheel of his luxurious sedan—one of those countless privileges he got since he was born without the necessity to work his off to get them. The drive to his office didn’t cost him much time. Having all people he met in the building greeting him along the way to his room might be others’ dream, or may be such a lifetime achievement, but it’s nothing to him. It didn’t comfort him, at all. Otherwise, it made him more worried of all the things which had been bugging his mind lately.

He let out a deep sigh by the time he threw himself on the chair. The burden was just too much for him to handle. He cannot do anything. He’s nothing.   

The door swung open, revealing a young lady bringing in a tray with a cup of coffee and a newspaper on it. Every move she made went smoothly since it’s her daily task. She left the tray on his table and left after flashing a polite smile towards the boss.

He automatically took the cup to have a sip and grabbed the newspaper. The headline got him. It only lasted 5 seconds for the newspaper to be in his hand before it ended up at the other side of his room, being thrown. Lucky enough, he didn’t choke on his coffee. His brother had stepped up on the higher level of success, the second time in 3 months.

The phone on his desk rang, interrupting his thoughts. “Changhyun-ah, have you seen today’s headline?” the undeniably excited voice of his mom opened the talk. “Yeongjin brought another success for us!”

His jaw tensed immediately. He chose to inhale deeply to calm himself down or else he would grit his teeth on those words which really upset him. “Yes of course! I’m reading it right now!” replied him, trying not to sound any less excited than his mom. “I’m so proud of him!”

Who don’t? We all admit that. Yes, me as well. I admit that. I just got to admit that, bitterly.

He never chose to spend his early 20s being mandated to lead a company listed on Korea’s top 10 best all by himself. The life chose him. Accepting the fact that he’s actually one of the heirs, he knew that it’s coming sooner or later. He just didn’t expect it to come that soon. With no experiences obtained beforehand, his over thinking self conquered the mind. It’s just too risky. It’s just too much.

What pressured him more was the mighty brain Yoo Yeongjin, his brother, who doubled up the company’s profit in his first year after taking it over. Yes, his dad handed over two different companies to be lead by each of them. But unfortunately, it ended up in separated ways as well. One simply advanced in a blink, while the other slumped down slowly but surely, which actually his.  

It’s truly a birthday present he never imagined. The year he had been spent was undoubtedly a nightmare. He barely slept. It kept bugging his mind since his nightmare would turn to be his family’s one sooner or later, and he just didn’t heart to even imagine that. He’s helpless. It’s all his responsibility. They wanted him to learn. And he did learn well, to learn that it’s not really his preferred way to live his life at all.

***

Ricky put his best happy expression on his face as he stepped into the restaurant, fulfilling his mom’s invitation for lunch. It’s just difficult for him to resist from being that kind of family man. And to reject his mom’s wish, he couldn’t even think about it. He would try to always be that lovely maknae to his mom. With a quick sweep of his sight in the property, he could spot where his mom was at.

“Changhyun-ah!” a familiar high pitched voice welcomed him instead, startling the young guy whose eyes had been pinned on his mom. “What took you so long to arrive?!”

“Oh my! Grandma! You shocked me!” he turned his way towards her seat first to give her a warm hug. “I’m sorry. The meeting took longer than expected,” he grinned.

His grandma let out her unique laugh as she tried to ruffle his styled hair. “You’re the CEO, Changhyun-ah! Of course the meeting will stop if you say so.”

“It’s not as simple as that, Grandma!” he whined cutely, just like during his childhood days spent with her. “I’m starving. What did you order?”

But unfortunately his query was ignored without any difficulty since the star had just arrived, stealing the attention of those who were seated at the table completely.

“Yeongjin-ah!” that’s simply the reason why she didn’t realize the maknae was talking to her. “Congratulations!” she even stood up to spend a moment hugging the older grandchild.

Ricky gulped down the bitterness. “Congratulations, Hyung!” he took his turn to congratulate him, trying not to get bothered by his depressed mind on the same matter he’s congratulating on. “I wish you bigger successes!” he shook his hand powerfully.

Yeongjin chuckled, “Thank you, our cute maknae! I always wish you the same too!” The sudden hug he gave after it was enough to shock the younger. It wasn’t something he’s unfamiliar with. In fact, it’s way too familiar to him that it made him crumbled to pieces instead of being strengthened.

“Changhyun-ah!” they turned their heads at the shout which belong to their mom. “I should be the one congratulating him first before you!” she jokingly scolded.

“Haish! I thought it was something important!” he grumbled. “Fine! There you go!” he pushed his brother towards their mom.

“Changhyun-ah, just sit here and eat with me,” told grandma who was already back on her seat, having her salad.

The boy did what he was told. It took a split second before he was back on grumbling like a kid. “I don’t want those green stuffs, Grandma,” he whined. “Mom! I’m hungry!” he protested on his mom. “Mom! Mom!”

His mom who was still busy talking with Yeongjin eventually turned at him. “What is it, Changhyun-ah?” she only heard him calling.

“I’m hungry!” he repeated what he had been said earlier. “We only have salad here and Changhyunnie aren’t friend with them!” He strikes out his cutesy acts.

“Just order anything you want!” she replied without looking at him, only showing a hand gesture which shooed him away from her talk with his brother, before getting back on talking excitedly regarding Yeongjin’s current success.

Ricky was frozen for a moment. His attempt ended up as another failure, clear one. He wasn’t that stupid not knowing what thing he should do when he’s hungry. He could just simply tell the waitress to bring out their best dishes without wasting his time to read the menu or even taking a look at the prices. But to him, it’s something more than that. He didn’t want to see the bothering scene of Yeongjin and their mom talking about his success. It’s bothering, big time. He came to see his family and have their lunch together instead of having his depression worsened by them who unintentionally did that. Them, who had no idea that it had been there, slowly yet surely rooted in him.

“Grandma, Mom, Hyung, I’m sorry I have to go first. I forgot I’ve made an appointment with a new partner after lunch. There are some things I need to prepare beforehand,” he announced as he stood up in a sudden. “I’m really really sorry,” added him, showing his childish grin which he knew it would easily melt their hearts. Faking mission: complete.

***

It’s certain enough that he didn’t go back to the office right away. It’s traumatic enough just to be there for the whole days as it went worse every day. He drove his car to his apartment downtown, his best runaway site.

None of the furniture had any particle of dust on it. No matter how rare he went there, the maids came there in a daily basis just to clean his place up. He laid himself on the sofa after taking off his suit. He spent a moment to close his eyes, which he treasured so much, before his phone rang loudly from his pocket. He had no other option than to pick it up since he basically cannot reject anything.

“What made you call me in this sunny afternoon, Mr. Jung?” Ricky greeted the Deputy President.

“I’m sorry, but I think I’ll be ruining your sunny afternoon, Sir,” he started carefully.

Ricky still found it funny to be respected that much by a man whose age was more than two times of his, but that’s not the right moment to laugh at it. “Go on. I just hope it will only make my day cloudy.”

Mr. Jung clearly tried to calm himself on the other line. His heavy sigh couldn’t be hid well. “Our strategic planning didn’t work,” informed him. “Again,” he added, knowing that it would only make it worse, but he got to say it anyway.

Ricky’s heart skipped a beat. He knew that’s coming somehow. He just knew. “Wow, that’s a storm to my sunny day, Mr. Jung.” His fingers were already on his head, massaging it. “Have you tried giving the plan B a run?” he tried to keep that slight of hope in him.

“We did, Sir. But it didn’t change anything. It didn’t work as well. The managers couldn’t work on it,” he stated without any doubt. “Do you want me to hand you the reports now?” offer him, worried that he wasn’t trustworthy enough.

“No, no need, Mr. Jung. I trust you,” Ricky hurriedly replied. “Thank you for informing me quickly.”

“You’re welcome, Mr. Yoo. I’ll try to fix this. I’ll try to create a new rough concept and propose it in the next meeting,” he said. “I’ll do my best, Sir.”

Ricky laughed a bit, trying to ease the tension and nervousness. “Thank you, Mr. Jung. Good luck.”

Bad news kept coming to him at least during the last two weeks in a row, something he couldn’t stop. He had no idea how he’s expected to solve those problem on his own. The company’s future was simply in his hand. He needs to hold it tight, but holding it way too tight could crush it down as well.

The graphic had been going down slowly but surely to a deep slope in the last few months. He couldn’t stand to see it worsened in every meeting because what he saw was the imaginary graphic line of his responsibility going up drastically which burdened him a lot. He’s not ready for it yet. His mental wasn’t ready to face it.

All he could do was hiding those matters from his family. He had been made busy by news writers who were trying to come up on the matters. He had been hoping that the board of directors were loyal enough to fulfill what they had had promised to him although they must be worried how their future would be if the company kept going down on that pace. He felt he was lucky enough knowing that his family was busy enough to dig his company up other than asking him once every few days just to chit chat on how it’s been going.

His phone rang when he was in a deep thinking about his fate on the upcoming months.

“CEO-nim, are you busy? Chunji hyung and I are meeting up tonight, coming?” a noisy guy interrogated him right away before he could even greet him. “You must come.”

Ricky hissed at the word CEO. It’s ironic. “There’s no such thing called busy to prevent me from meeting you guys up,” he laughed. “Your place again, Hyung?” a smile couldn’t help to grow on his face, real one that time.

“Yes, CEO-nim! Make sure to come! Don’t forget to bring a lot of food, CEO-nim,” the guy on the other line excitedly replied.

“Ya! Ahn Daniel! Stop that CEO thingy or I won’t come!” threatened Ricky, not caring that he was talking to an older guy.

A satisfied laugh hurt Ricky’s ear. “I know you won’t dare to do that, Yoo Changhyun. Just come, okay? The earlier the better.”

He tried to be a responsible CEO by coming back to the office from his runaway at the apartment. He tried to keep that image, still. People believe what they’re seeing, right?

Using a confident smile, he tried to calm the anxious staffs he met as he walked towards his room. Mr. Jung had been sitting across his seat when he came, not any less anxious than the staffs Ricky had met previously. Ricky had told him to wait in his room since he’s on his way back to the office.

“Can’t we just go with dad’s old planning instead?” asked Ricky as he had a look on a pile of documents on his desk. “It worked well, didn’t it?”

“Yes, it did, but it doesn’t match the current and future situation we’re facing, Sir,” he hesitantly said.

Ricky calmly smiled at him. “It’s fine,” he tried to maintain his voice stable. “Tell the board of directors that we’re having a meeting tomorrow at 10 in the morning. Whatever the result tomorrow, I hope it can fix the situation.”

Ricky sighed heavily after Mr. Jung left his room. He lied to himself. He lied to everyone. It wasn’t fine and it wouldn’t be fine. He had never been that selfish person to let himself happy while others are suffering. He couldn’t let that happen. He always sacrificed himself to be the one who’s burdened. He just felt he had to be that victim. At least, he’s a victim to everyone’s happiness.

***

“Waaa! Our CEO-nim has arrived!” Niel jumped off the sofa and ran towards Ricky when he saw him coming from the front door, busy bringing packs of food in his hug—a weird picture as if a delivery man was wearing a suit on his duty. The older wasn’t even enlightened to help the younger.

“Shut your mouth and help me, Goby!” Ricky nagged as he kept on struggling with the belongings.

“Ya, what are you quarreling about?” asked Chunji calmly, who had been watching TV all along.

Ricky put down the food on the coffee table before he dusted off his wrinkled suit he got after. “Niel hyung was just being his useless self!” he complained to Chunji with his childish tone.

“Pizza!” Chunji suddenly shouted as he already made himself busy checking the food Ricky had brought, completely ignoring Ricky.

“Hyung! Don’t you hear me talking?!” Ricky pouted cutely at the oldest guy there.

“This one is really delicious, Hyung!” Niel cut him off just to annoy him more by talking to Chunji and not giving him a chance to talk. “This one also!” he added.

“Oh, fine.” Ricky rolled his eyes and plumped himself beside Chunji on the couch. He stole the remote and started flipping through channels. “You’re welcome!” he quipped on his friends who didn’t budge by him at all.

“Ya, Yoo Changhyun! Stop pouting!” Chunji strike him with storms of tickles and some kicks as he laughed loudly on how the youngest behaved every time he’s annoyed. “Changhyunnie is mad~”

Niel joined into the fun kick spree. “Ya, CEO-nim! Don’t be so childish!” he joked and laughed along with them. “Thanks for the pizza, our dear CEO-nim. Here’s one for you~” he had taken one and pushed it in front of his mouth that its sauce stained his white skin.

“Ahn Daniel!” he shouted before he stole the pizza and ate it himself. “Screw you, Hyung,” said him with his full mouth.

Ricky was ready to curse in his head when his phone rang for the thousandth time that day. “I’ll pick it up first,” he announced, walking out to the veranda.

“I’m sorry to disturb you, Sir. I just want to inform you that our company’s profit today reached its lowest point ever for the first time. This hasn’t been happened before so we aren’t prepared for this. Well, we did prepare, but we didn’t expect it to be this low,” Mr. Jung spluttered.

Ricky shut his eyes closed. It’s way too embarrassing for him, for his family. He couldn’t imagine how he would explain that to them. “We’re talk about it more on tomorrow’s meeting. Thank you, Mr. Jung.” He inhaled deeply before he stepped back into the living room.

“Important business, CEO-nim?” queried Niel as he munched another slice of pizza. It’s just not that easy for him to stop teasing Ricky with that title ever since he was mandated to hold the position.

Ricky chuckled, “Nothing. It’s just a reminder about tomorrow’s meeting. Don’t mind it. Let’s have a feast now!” Not to forget, another smile had been put on his innocent face. He just had to keep it happy, outside.

***

Ricky went back to his apartment instead of going home from Niel’s place that night. Another runaway was necessary for him in that state. It’s too hard for him to fake it up with such major news he had just got earlier.

He was sitting in his room later that night, facing a small safe box which designed as a drawer on his desk. His jaw tautened when the click sound was heard after putting on the secret combination. He tried to feel certain on the thing he’s about to do. He took out the thing he’d been thinking of lately. The 22 caliber gun was gripped tightly in his hand, already pointed towards his head.

A/N:

Jongsoon here striking out the first chap! Hope you enjoy it! Can't wait to read your feedbacks! :-)