They have been best friends since they were kids, so Chanyeol is sure he knows everything about Yifan. Though Yifan is not that good in expressing himself, Chanyeol could read him like an open book. If there is someone who knows how Yifan's mind works, it is Chanyeol.

But in the past few days, there was something inexplicable about his best friend. Something he could not put into words. Something his mind could barely comprehend even though he has been with Yifan for like, eighteen years now.

It started one Friday night, when Yifan came to their house unannounced. It's not like his family, especially Chanyeol, had minded it at all, since Yifan is not new to them and is very welcome to their family. In fact, Chanyeol's parents regard Yifan as their “adopted Park”.  What made that visit different from the others was Yifan's purpose; he did not come for Chanyeol, but for the latter’s brother.

*

The Park's were about to eat their dinner when the doorbell had rung. Sehun beamed and volunteered to open the door, as if he knew who had been there, but Chanyeol stood up before him.

"Oh, Yifan. Did I miss any homework?" asked Chanyeol, slightly confused as to why Yifan was there, with books in those gigantic hands.

"Uhm, no. Actually, I'm here fo--"

"Me!” Sehun cut Yifan’s sentence. “He’s here for me!" Sehun shouted behind Chanyeol, the latter covering his right ear because Sehun's voice was too high for his liking.

"You?" Chanyeol asked Sehun, then returning his gaze to Yifan. "Him? Why?"

"I need Chinese lessons, hyung. Mom can't afford to enroll me in a Chinese Tutorial Center. Yifan-hyung volunteered to help. Isn't he so nice?" Sehun explained, eyes crinkling as he smiles. And Yifan smiled, too.

"Oh, okay. Uhm, come in. We're having dinner," Chanyeol politely invited Yifan in.

As they enter the dining area,  Yifan took the seat next to Sehun, and Chanyeol furrowed his eyebrows because Yifan used to sit next to him.

*

Yifan came to their house again the other night, and the next two nights. He always took the seat next to Sehun when they eat, and after dinner, he went to the living room with Sehun to teach the younger Chinese.

Chanyeol did not miss the way Sehun told something to Yifan in Chinese and both of them will end up laughing. He also did not miss the way Yifan and Sehun have shooed him away, as if the two were hiding something exclusively to themselves.

*

"Yifan-hyung is a good tutor, mom. I got high grades in class because of him," said Sehun one night during the occasional dinner with Yifan.

"Thanks a lot for the help, Yifan. I could see Sehun's doing pretty well in his studies now ever since you taught him," said Sehun and Chanyeol's mom.

"Well, its not that hard to teach him. He's a fast learner. A smart kid, actually," said Yifan and then smiled at Sehun. Chanyeol noticed it, and Yifan put his gaze on him.

"How about you, Chanyeol-ah? How have you been doing in school?" their dad asked.

"Fine, dad. Actually, Yifan and I were chosen to represent our class for the debate competition next week."

"Really? Then shouldn't you be studying with Yifan if the competition is due next week?"

"Yifan is busy with... stuff, and so am I. B-but we'll find a way. Right, Yifan?" Chanyeol turned his gaze to Yifan, who, at the moment, was mumbling something to Sehun.

"Uhm, I still need to teach Sehun. Maybe tomorrow?"

"Oh. Okay."

*

Ever since Yifan volunteered to teach Sehun Chinese, his time spent with Chanyeol decreased. They now spend time together only in the school, during classes.

"Hey. You've been quiet these past days," Yifan told Chanyeol when he caught the younger ducking his head on a book in the library.

"I'd look crazy if I'll talk alone," said Chanyeol jokingly.

"Point taken, but... were you avoiding me?"

"Me, a-avoiding you? I was not! Why, is there something that I should avoid you?"

"No. But ever since I volunteered to teach Sehun, you became... distant." Yifan stared at Chanyeol. "Were you jealous?" He added.

“What?!” Chanyeol shouted so loudly that shocked the hell out of Yifan, and got them a warning shhh from the librarian. “M-me? Jealous? Why would I be jealous?”

Yifan laughed silently because Chanyeol’s right hand that was holding the pen was shaking.

“Why are you laughing?”

“Nothing,” Yifan leaned on his chair. “Just, you went a little bit overacting,” he smiled and looked at Chanyeol, who was trying his best to avoid Yifan’s gaze because the latter’s eyes were sparkling and it made Chanyeol’s tummy crumble.

“How can I not overact? My best friend is accusing me of being jealous over my brother! You think I like you that way?” Chanyeol stopped talking when he realized Yifan was staring at him, and was waiting for his next words. “N-no way, Yifan.”

Yifan was silent and kept staring at him, which made Chanyeol feel like Yifan was digging a hole on his face through his piercing eyes. “W-why the hell are you staring at me?”

“You thought I meant to say you like me?” Yifan asked, still staring. Chanyeol just nodded because what was there to say anyway? And he was preparing for a handful of embarrassment because he just made a fool out of himself in front of his best friend, and he felt really guilty, too.

“By asking if you were jealous, I meant if you were jealous of how I’ve been spending most of my time with your brother, which lead to us not spending our times together as best friends.” Yifan grabbed Chanyeol’s hand, and Yifan noticed that the younger’s hand went shaky in his. He used his free hand to nudge Chanyeol’s chin. “Chanyeol, can I ask you something?”

Yifan seemed so serious and Chanyeol’s heart was thumping so hard that it felt like it was about to jump out of his chest.

Is he going to confess to me? Is he going to ask if he can date me? Oh my god I think he is oh my god what should I do

Chanyeol is eighty percent sure it’s either because, well, he knows Yifan. What he wasn’t sure about is how to respond when, not if, Yifan drops the bomb.

“Can I date Sehun?” Yifan asked and thank God Chanyeol was sitting on the chair because if he was not, his knees would have shook (although they already did) and he would have fell (although he already did, too, just not literally).

Although Chanyeol have abnormally large ears, he thought he has heard Yifan the wrong way. “W-what was that again?” he asked confusedly, or probably, disappointedly because he second thinks that he heard his best friend right.

“I was asking,” Yifan smiled shyly, avoiding Chanyeol’s eyes this time, “if I can date Sehun.”

Three seconds passed before Chanyeol said, “are you asking for my permission to date my brother?”

Yifan touched his nape. “Yes. Yes I am.”

Chanyeol blinked his eyes twice and slapped away Yifan’s hand holding his. “What the hell?!” he shrieked.

The librarian warned him again so Chanyeol lowered down his voice. But he still screamed at Yifan, just silently.

“What the hell, Yifan? Why my brother? You think because I’m your best friend, I’m going to let you taint my baby brother?”

Yifan’s eyes grew larger. “Taint? Who said I’m going to taint him? I said just ‘date’, Chanyeol,” he defended himself. “And yeah, I’m your best friend, and you know I will never hurt your brother, right?”

Chanyeol heaved a sigh because, Yifan’s right--he will never hurt Sehun. Yifan is too nice and a gentleman to hurt anyone, especially those who are dear to him.

“Do you like him?” asked Chanyeol.

“I would not ask your permission to date him, let alone date him even without your permission, if I don’t,” Yifan said while looking down.

“My question is answerable by a yes or a no. Do you like Sehun?” Chanyeol’s voice was shaky upon mentioning his brother’s name.

“Yes, Chanyeol,” he told the younger. “I like your brother.”

Chanyeol knew Sehun might also like Yifan, because his brother would not ask for Yifan’s help for his Chinese lessons if he didn’t like Yifan.

He also knew that Yifan would take care of Sehun, because aside from being 2 centimeters taller than him, being heavenly smart, being godly handsome, Yifan is also incredibly nice. And it scared Chanyeol because he suddenly thought that Yifan is the epitome of everything he wants in a person. In a lover.

. Chanyeol shook his head because he should not be thinking like that about his best friend--his best friend who happens to like his brother, not him.

“Hey,” Yifan woke him up from his thoughts. “Are you okay?” Yifan asked with concern.

“Y-yeah. Yeah, I’m okay.”

“So.. What do you think?” Yifan asked, smirking.

Chanyeol had to blink hard to erase Yifan’s smirking image on his head. “Well,” Chanyeol swallowed a lump in his throat. “It’s up to Sehun.” Chanyeol avoided Yifan's eyes.

“It’s okay with you?”

“Uhm yeah.” With do I have a choice? undertone.

Yifan stood from his chair and hugged Chanyeol from behind. “Thank you so much, Chanyeol. You really are the best.” Yifan tightened his hold on the younger. “That’s why I love you.”

Chanyeol knew it’s I love you as a best friend so he replied, “I love you, too, bff.” Yifan stared at his best buddy as if waiting for the younger to say more.

“What?”

“Nothing.” Yifan straightened up. “I have to go, Chanyeol.”

“Where are you going? We have a class in an hour.”

“I’m going to meet Sehun in the field.”

Chanyeol furrowed his eyebrows. “Field? What’s he doing in the football field?”

“Uhm,” Yifan took his book on the table. “We’re going to watch my cousin play. I’ll see you later.” He patted Chanyeol on the shoulder before he left him.

*

Fifteen minutes before their Science class starts, Chanyeol grabbed his mask and laboratory gown in their section in the laboratory. All lab gowns were already taken, except for Yifan’s.

There was only a quarter hour until their demonstration, and his lab partner was still no where in sight.

“Hey, Chanyeol, why are you still here? Won’t you prepare your tools on the table for the demo?” said Junmyeon.

“Okay, I’ll be there in a few. I’ll just check where Yifan is.”

Chanyeol took his phone and called Yifan. Two rings have passed and Yifan wasn’t picking up the phone so Chanyeol bit his lip in worry.

“Who’s he calling?” asked Jongdae.

Junmyeon just smiled at him. “His lab partner.”

Jongdae’s eyes crinkled. “Ohh~ His love partner.” He teased.

“Shut up, guys,” Chanyeol rolled his eyes. Fortunately, Yifan picked up the phone on the sixth ring.

“Hey, what’s up Chanyeol?"

“Where are you? The demo’s about to start.”

“I’m in the locker room. I’ll be there in a few, don’t worry.”

“Is something wrong? Hey, tell me what happened.”

“No, no. Nothing’s wrong. Just talking about something with Sehun.”

“You're still with him? That boy has a class to attend, too!” Chanyeol could hear Sehun's coo in the background.

“Yeah, we know. Don’t worry I’m about to go there now.”

“You better be. Hurry up, okay?”

“Yes, boss.” With that, Chanyeol ended the call with a sigh.

“Hey, what happened?” asked Junmyeon with genuine concern.

“I need to go somewhere.” Chanyeol started taking off his lab gown.

“The demo’s about to start, giant,” Jongdae reminded him.

“I know, but we’re not the first to present. I’ll just have to pick Yifan up.” Chanyeol then left Junmyeon and Jongdae.

“Wife coming to fetch her husband from the club, I see,” Jongdae said jokingly.

“Well, we know Chanyeol’s in love with Yifan no matter how much he uses that ‘best friends’ disclaimer,” Junmyeon patted Jongdae’s shoulder. “Come on, we have to prepare, my love partner,” he put his arm around Jongdae.

“Real smooth, huh.”

*

Chanyeol walked at the hallway leading to the locker rooms. As he pass by each door, the number of people decreased. He did not have to ask the varsity players to know where Yifan and Sehun were because he could hear them talking from his position.

“You think it’s working?” That’s Yifan.

“Of course, hyung! I know my brother too well,” said Sehun.

They are talking about me? Chanyeol asked himself. He did not want to reveal himself, so he hid behind the locker and continued eavesdropping.

“Don’t tell him yet, okay? He can’t know about this yet.”

“Don’t worry, hyung. I won’t tell him. I wanted this, too, remember?” Sehun laughed.

He wanted… it? Chanyeol’s eyes widened because what did he just hear? Did Yifan taint his brother?!

He wanted to hear more, so he moved an inch, but thanks to his lanky figure, he stepped on a wet towel and slipped. And he ended up laying on the ground right then and there, in front of his best friend and his brother.

“Hyung!!! What are you doing here?!” Sehun asked, his face looked like he’s a suspect that got caught doing a crime.

“Aren’t you going to help me, you brat?!” Chanyeol hissed.

Yifan tried to help him stand up, but Chanyeol’s arm got busted and he sobbed in pain.

“Are you okay, Chanyeol?” Yifan asked.

“What do you think?! And what were you two talking about? Both of you has a class to attend!” Chanyeol reprimanded them.

“We don’t have classes, hyung. Mr. Kim is out of the town. And what are you doing here, hyung? Were you listening to our conversation?” Sehun rolled his eyes.

Chanyeol was tempted to slap Sehun’s arm, but his own arm was aching too much for him to be able to move it.

“What are you doing here, Chanyeol?”

“Oh, sorry. I was looking for my lab partner because apparently, our demonstration is about to start,” Chanyeol slapped away Yifan’s hand on him. He’s been doing that a lot.

“I told you I was coming, though,” Yifan said softly.

However, Chanyeol took his excuse the wrong way. “Coming? And what kind of coming was that, huh?” Chanyeol glared at his best friend, trying to pry Yifan with his stare. Yifan looked skeptical, his eyebrows furrowed and his eyes were saying what do you mean and that was the time Chanyeol realized he was wrong, very wrong, because his best friend would not do that.

Chanyeol opted to divert his attention from Yifan to Sehun as an ignoring mechanism. “You, brat. You have a class. Go!”

Sehun’s face looked sour. “We don’t have classes anymore, hyung,” he pouted.

“Really? Then go home now.”

“I don’t want to hyung, I don’t want to.” Sehun started stomping his feet like a child.

“I said go--”

“Hey hey, stop you two. You’re acting like you’re kids.” Yifan faced Sehun, “follow your hyung, Sehun. Go home now. I'll just pick you up later.”

Chanyeol’s ears heat up upon hearing Yifan’s words. “‘Pick him up?’”

“We’re going out tonight--”

“We’re going to date, hyung,” Sehun said proudly, cutting Yifan’s words.

Chanyeol looked at Yifan, expecting him to say it’s true, but honestly, he was hoping he’d deny it.

“Yes, Chanyeol. I told you this, remember?” Yifan was smiling, gums and all--chanyeol’s favourite smile of his best friend.

Chanyeol remembered. Of course, it was just an hour ago when he dropped the bomb to him. How can he forget.

*

Yifan went to the Parks’ ten minutes to six in the evening to pick Sehun up, and it was Chanyeol who opened the door for him.

“We need to talk first, Yifan.” Chanyeol sounded so business-like, and Yifan has never seen his best friend act that way, because he was always the bubbly, jumpy type.

“Okay,” Yifan said softly.

They went to the living room and the atmosphere that filled them was dry--they were never awkward like that.

“Are you serious about my brother?” Chanyeol asked straightforwardly.

Yifan seemed like he did not expect that coming. “Of course, Chanyeol.” Chanyeol’s face looked sullen so Yifan thought Chanyeol did not approve of him for his brother. “Don’t you like me for your brother?”

“Of course not. You’re the best guy out there for my brother; for anyone, to be honest,” Chanyeol cleared his throat. “It’s just… He’s my brother, you know. And I’m your best friend. And I think I--”

“I know, Chanyeol.” Yifan smiled at him.

Chanyeol seemed surprise that his eyes grew larger than they already were. “You know?!”

“Yes, Chanyeol. I know. I know that you’re just being protective of your brother, and you’re thinking that it might get a bit awkward between the two of us. It won’t happen, I promise you.”

Oh. Chanyeol swallowed his spit because that’s not what Chanyeol was going to say. Anyway, he felt secured now because at least, his best friend did not know that he likes him.

Wait, no; he loves him. He loves Yifan. Not as a best friend, but more than that. Chanyeol denied it to himself since second grade, because he was young then, so what did he know about love? When they entered high school, he still denied it because Yifan has seen him as a brother.

And now, especially after Yifan told him that he likes his brother, Chanyeol realized that there was no point in denying because he loves Yifan. He loves his best friend so much and it hurts him to know that the person he loves--has been loving ever since--likes not him, but his brother. And thank God, Yifan did not know, because Chanyeol thought Yifan need not know. It would soil their friendship--the thing that matters most to him next to Yifan.

Gathering his thoughts, Chanyeol stood up, and Yifan did the same thing. Chanyeol hugged his best friend tightly, his embrace filled with love, and pain. Yifan was gently playing with Chanyeol’s spine, and Chanyeol, for the first time, did not jolt nor giggle, because he was trying to stop himself from tearing up.

“Hurt him or I will break your face,” Chanyeol joked as he slip away from the embrace.

Yifan smiled and said, “of course, I won’t.”

Before Chanyeol could hug him again, Sehun came just in time.

“Hyung, you ready?” Sehun said with his sunshine smile.

“Whenever you are,” replied Yifan.

Chanyeol walked them to the door. As Yifan and Sehun walk away, Chanyeol couldn’t help but feel empty.

*

While Yifan and Sehun were on their date, Chanyeol opted to go to the city’s public library and read books in preparation for his debate competition on the coming week. With Yifan. As his partner. His partner for life.

The library was open till nine in the evening, and as soon as it closed, Chanyeol went home immediately.

Before he could even step in their house, he knew that Yifan and Sehun were already home, because Yifan’s coat was hung on the coat hanger.

It was unlikely not to see Sehun and Yifan in the living room, or in the porch, so Chanyeol asked his parents where they were.

“They’re in Sehun’s room, son,” his mom replied while knitting a somewhat a sweater.

“In Sehun’s room?!” Chanyeol shrieked and his mom grunted because she pricked her finger.

“Would you lower your voice?” his mother pleaded.

Chanyeol went a bit of a panicky. “How long have they been there? Don’t you know that they’re dating?” He asked in genuine concern.

“I know, your father and I--we know.” His mom smiled.

Chanyeol felt a bit dejected because his mom wasn’t showing much concern. So, he went upstairs--to Sehun’s room.

It was quiet, but he could hear Yifan and Sehun’s voices. Then again, he eavesdropped.

“You really think it’s working?”

“Uhh hyung how many times will I tell you that, yes, our plan is working! Chanyeol-hyung is really getting jealous and sooner or later, he’ll admit his feelings for you!” Sehun whined.

Chanyeol shook his head because he might be hearing things the wrong way again, because he always did that.

“You see, Yifan-hyung. Chanyeol-hyung went to fetch you from the locker room because he was afraid you and I could have done something. Also, he confronted you earlier, before we went out for our fake date, because he wanted to know if you were really serious about me because he’s hoping you’re not so you two could end up to--”

“What the is this?!” the door almost flew as Chanyeol opened it.

Yifan and Sehun’s faces looked terrored, as if a huge secret has been revealed. And, yes, it really was a huge secret for them.

“Hyung, don’t you know how to knock?!” Sehun hid himself behind Yifan’s large frame.

“What were you guys saying? What do you mean ‘fake date’? What do you mean about everything you two were talking about?!” Sehun kept himself hidden like a kid hiding not to get punished.

“Chanyeol, let us explain--”

“Oh yes! God! You really have to explain a lot!” Chanyeol’s baritone voice was booming in anger but mostly confusion. “First of all, why are you here in Sehun’s room? You two are dating and both of you are here? Yifan, since when did you disrespect my parents?”

“We’re not dating!” Yifan screamed and it shocked Chanyeol because he never screams unless he’s beyond mad. Yifan then sighed dejectedly. “We’re not dating, Chanyeol. It was fake.” He tried to let his words out of his mouth softly.

Chanyeol still looked quite confused so Sehun stepped in to explain further. “I asked for Yifan-hyung’s help to teach me Chinese because I like his cousin Luhan, hyung. And Yifan-hyung told me that he likes you so much but he was just not strong enough to tell you because he thought you won’t reciprocate his feelings.”

Hearing those words, Chanyeol looked at Yifan and studied his best friend’s blank expression. “I told him you felt the same thing but he’s too numb as to even realize so I conspired with him to help me with Luhan, and in return, I’ll help him make you confess.”

Chanyeol was as stoic as Yifan. “You mean, earlier, you two didn’t date?”

“Duh, hyung. Were you listening? It was fake. It was Luhan and I who went out and Yifan-hyung remained at home.” Sehun rolled his eyes like he always used to.

Chanyeol was trying to gather all the information he just heard, but one thing was for sure: Yifan felt the same way.

No one dared to speak after that, as if they were in a silence enduring contest. A few more awkward seconds, Yifan was dragging Chanyeol towards Chanyeol’s own room.

“Hey, stop. Wha--”

“Okay,” Yifan pinned him against his door. “You listen to me. You’ve heard everything from Sehun and everything he said was all true.” Chanyeol was trying to keep his eyes locked in Yifan’s to see sincerity in his words, and he’s seeing them.

“But why didn’t you tell me?” asked Chanyeol, whose voice was eight octaves lower than usual.

“Because I was frightened that you would reject me. And more than that, I was frightened to put our friendship at stake. I don’t want to ruin what we have for my selfishness. I can’t lose you, Chanyeol.” Yifan looked down and heaved a deep sigh. “I don’t want to lose you.”

Chanyeol moved a little to remove Yifan’s grip on his arm, and cupped Yifan’s face. “No, you’re not going to lose me, Yifan. And you weren’t selfish because you put our friendship first above everything. But, hey, I do feel the same thing about you.” Chanyeol gave his best friend the sweetest smile--dimple showing--and softly said, “I love you, Yifan.”

Yifan smiled--his gummy smile that was Chanyeol’s most favourite--and spoke the three words Chanyeol had been dying to hear from him, “I love you.”

Cupping Chanyeol’s face, he softly pressed their mouths together--their kiss filled with undisclosed desires they both have kept for years.

---END---