Throwing furtive glances towards the exit gate, Chanyeol was biting his nail anxiously while waiting. He was trying to slide in through the crowd to get a clear view of the passengers when someone suddenly shoved him, causing him to stumble, though no one was beside him. Confused, he looked down and smiled softly at the sight of a young girl tiptoeing to see above the crowd. She looked up when she felt his gaze and put her fingers on her lips, fidgeting.

Chanyeol chuckled fondly, then patted his head to appease her. That did the trick because she giggled and turned around to look back at the front. A woman on Chanyeol’s right met his eyes and smiled, looking at the little girl. Chanyeol assumed she was her mother, and moved to the left to leave her some space. She bowed gratefully and caught the little girl’s hand in hers.

Chanyeol finally snapped back to reality when the first person came through the exit gate, pulling their suitcase behind them. He perked up and blinked a few times, becoming impatient. He had to move a little to have a better view though, tiptoeing and searching for him in the crowd. It was stupid because Chanyeol was one head taller than most people and he was even taller but he did it anyway.

When he finally came into sight, Chanyeol’s heart stopped. The noise and the crowd disappeared and all he could see was him, walking confidently towards him. Chanyeol couldn’t see his eyes as he was wearing sunglasses, but he knew he was looking right back at him with the same intensity. Chanyeol’s skin tingled and he smiled shyly, biting his lower lip.

“Hi,” Yifan said, stopping right in front of him. “I’m home.”

Chanyeol’s smile widened as he threw himself into his arms, Yifan chuckling at his antics. “I missed you!” He mumbled awkwardly, tightening his grip on his boyfriend’s clothes. Closing his eyes, he sniffed his neck discreetly and smiled to himself, taking in Yifan’s distinctive scent. His hands were now simply resting on Yifan’s body, Chanyeol not wanting to let go of him just yet, as his boyfriend curled a hand around his nape.

The feeling of Yifan’s cool palm on his neck made him shiver slightly, the warm feeling of his lover’s touch spreading through his whole body. Chanyeol couldn’t resist from placing a gentle kiss under his boyfriend’s jaw before pulling away from him completely. Now wasn’t the time or the place to be all lovey-dovey.

Yifan squeezed his arm once as he let go of him, as if saying “later”, offering him a secretive smile. Chanyeol grinned back, excited, took Yifan’s suitcase despite his complaint, and began walking towards the exit without waiting for him.

“How was your flight?” He asked when Yifan caught up with him. “Are you tired?”

His boyfriend chose this moment to yawn widely and hummed simply, tearing off a chuckle from Chanyeol. He wanted to hear about all Yifan’s adventures and stories, but his boyfriend looked too jetlagged and out of it to chat with him. Chanyeol tried not to feel disappointed, knowing it was nothing personal, but it made his heart ache a bit nonetheless.

He missed him so much, and now that he was right there, next to him, he shouldn’t miss him anymore. But he did. And that hurt. He tried to push that thought away, knowing it wouldn’t last. Yifan had just come home, after all; his heart just hadn’t processed the information yet.

They kept silent as they walked to the car, Chanyeol putting Yifan’s stuff in the trunk while his boyfriend sat quietly in the front seat. As soon as Chanyeol drove off, Yifan dozed off, his head lolling to the side.

At each red light, Chanyeol would look at him fondly, taking in every detail about Yifan’s face and body. He looked handsome as always, wearing some Armani suit, his hair combed neatly to the side. Chanyeol wanted to see his face properly, but the shades were hiding half of it.

As he pulled off in front of their apartment building, Chanyeol mulled over waking Yifan or waiting a little bit in the car. Unbuckling their seatbelts carefully and silently, he his side to stare at him. He still couldn’t believe Yifan was back, it seemed unreal and too good to be true.

Biting his lip, he lifted his hand, his fingers gently brushing Yifan’s cheek. Chanyeol needed to touch him so bad, mostly to make sure he wasn’t dreaming and that Yifan was right there, real and whole. At the contact of their skins, his eyes welled up in tears and he blinked a few times to chase away the wetness—embarrassed. It was a good thing Yifan was still asleep.

After a few minutes, his boyfriend began to stir and Chanyeol took his hand back, smiling softly. Yifan made puppy noises, then groaned and stretched. “Was I out for a long time?” He mumbled, his voice hoarse.

Chanyeol shook his head and laughed. “No, don’t worry. Are you feeling better?”

“Yes,” his boyfriend smiled. “You should have woken me up.”

His boyfriend shrugged. “You needed it.”

Yifan’s smile widened, bringing a similar smile on Chanyeol’s own lips. Chanyeol reached out and took off his sunglasses carefully, unveiling his eyes. “Hi,” He whispered bashfully. “Can I kiss you now?”

His boyfriend continued to smile, leaning in to meet him halfway, pressing a gentle kiss on his mouth. Chanyeol curled his free hand around his neck when he tried to pull away, capturing his lips one more time and deepening the kiss. Yifan gasped against him before going lax in his hold, letting Chanyeol into his mouth languidly.

They separated not too long after, Chanyeol nuzzling his cheek and pecking his jaw before drawing back. They were still out in the open and that wasn’t reasonable, but he couldn’t resist. He had missed him so ing much. Yifan didn’t seem to mind though, stealing one last kiss from him and Chanyeol’s heart fluttered.

They smiled stupidly at each other, happy to be together after so long, before finally exiting the car. Chanyeol insisted to take his boyfriend’s suitcase and Yifan didn’t protest, surely too tired to do so. Smirking satisfyingly, Chanyeol even held the door open for him and acted like a true gentleman, Yifan arching his eyebrows at his attitude.

With a spring in his step, Chanyeol practically ran towards their apartment and hastily opened the door, screaming a “Tadaaaaaaaaaam!” really loudly.

“You’re still as loud as ever,” Yifan chuckled. “I’m glad you haven’t changed while I was away.”

Chanyeol’s smile turned sad and he quickly looked away, motioning for his boyfriend to come in. He hurriedly disappeared to put Yifan’s suitcase in the bedroom, letting his boyfriend look around. He hoped he would be able to put Yifan at ease, his lover looked a little stiff for someone who came back in his own home. When he came back, Yifan was standing in the middle of the room, eying his wall of pictures and postcards with attention.

“Welcome home,” Chanyeol whispered, circling his arms around Yifan’s waist, before leaning his cheek on his shoulder with a content sigh. His boyfriend squeezed his hands, and finally relaxed in his hold.

They stayed silent for a while, both looking at Chanyeol’s pictures of the both of them on the wall. Chanyeol remembered every story behind each picture, cherishing their moments together. He hoped Yifan did too.

“Have you eaten?” Chanyeol mumbled in his jacket.

Yifan turned around and detached himself from Chanyeol to face him. “Yes, don’t worry, but I’m in need of a shower. I stink!” He answered, grimacing.

Chanyeol pouted at him and shook his head disapprovingly. “You don’t!” He knew he was acting like a kid, but he wasn’t ready to let go of Yifan yet. He wanted to keep his boyfriend close, to feel Yifan’s presence next to him.

Offering him a small smile, Yifan took his hands in his and brought them to his lips, kissing his palms. “I’m not going anywhere, I swear. I’ll be in the bathroom, I can keep the door open if you want to, or you could join me?”

Chanyeol looked down at their linked hands, biting his lips. He was acting stupid again. Pulling himself together, he laughed and pulled away. “Go take a shower, I’ll wait for you here.”

Yifan looked like he wanted to protest, searching his eyes, but ended nodding once. He stayed still for a minute though, hesitating. Chanyeol smiled reassuringly at him then and helped him out of his jacket, egging him on to go take his shower.

Chanyeol’s smile fell as he sat down on the couch, taking his head in his hands. They were trembling and he was fighting the tears away, his feelings all jumbled. Yifan was finally back and it made him happy, but at the same time he felt utterly lost and afraid. He couldn’t help but think about the next time Yifan would leave, would leave him, and that thought terrified him.

While Yifan was away, Chanyeol had felt so lonely. Yifan took away a piece of his heart with him, and Chanyeol had felt empty without him. Without his boyfriend by his side, Chanyeol wasn’t really himself and that scared him. It made him realize that he couldn’t live without Yifan; his boyfriend was his everything and it was a frightening thought.

Chanyeol didn’t want to depend on Yifan. He didn’t want his life to resume around his boyfriend. He wanted to be strong with him and without him. He wanted them to be equal in their relationship, he wanted—no, he needed—balance.

His grip on Yifan’s jacket tightened and he sighed, feeling helpless. Something fell at his feet then, and he bent over to catch it, curious. It was a picture—a picture of the two of them taken with Chanyeol’s instant camera just before Yifan had left. Chanyeol smiled softly.

At first, Yifan hadn’t wanted to take pictures, but Chanyeol had insisted. If Yifan had to leave, he wanted to keep a recent memory of them together while he was waiting for his return. He hadn’t known that Yifan had taken one of the pictures. The latter hadn’t told him.

Chanyeol bit his lip, keeping his gaze on the picture. Could it be that Yifan had felt the same way? His lover was a secretive person—he didn’t talk much about his feelings or worries so the younger had assumed he had been fine to leave and to be separated from Chanyeol. Not even once did Yifan break down like Chanyeol did—on the phone with his lover, or by himself in their empty home.

Perhaps Chanyeol had been wrong. Perhaps Yifan had been hurting, too. Maybe more than him, because Yifan had been the one to leave Chanyeol behind. It suddenly dawn on the younger how selfish he had been. He had acted like he had been the only one suffering, caring, and loving in their relationship.

Yifan’s silence didn’t mean he didn’t care, after all. Chanyeol felt more and more guilty, ashamed of his attitude. He had been too immersed in his own pain to even see Yifan’s. And his lover hadn’t said anything because it had been his responsibility, his choice.

Chanyeol was so stupid. How could he not have realized this sooner?

A hand patted his head and he looked up, Yifan gazing down at him worryingly, holding a towel. He was frowning and Chanyeol felt guilty. “Are you okay?”

“Just tired,” he grinned sheepishly, holding up the picture. “I…um found this? It fell from your jacket.”

“Oh, yes, I always keep it with me. I didn’t want to lose it.” His boyfriend smiled, then pointed to the wall with his free hand. “You can hang it!”

Chanyeol chuckled, nodded once, and got up to do so. Taking a pin, he looked for a good spot before pinning the picture next to the others. “Done!” He exclaimed proudly.

When he turned around, Yifan’s eyes were examining him attentively. “Are you sure you’re okay?” His boyfriend repeated.

The younger’s gaze grew fonder and he smiled. “Of course I’m fine!”

Yifan didn’t look convinced, but didn’t add anything. He then came closer to ruffle Chanyeol’s hair. “Okay, I’ll be right back.”

Chanyeol followed Yifan with his eyes as he entered the bathroom, leaving the door ajar like he said he would. His boyfriend was attentive of Chanyeol’s moods and worries at all times. It wouldn’t be a surprise for Chanyeol if he already knew what was going on in his head. Yifan had always been the perceptive one between the two of them after all.

Lost in thoughts, Chanyeol laid on the couch and closed his eyes. He needed to stop thinking so much; Yifan was right there, and that was all that mattered. He was back and he would stay. Now wasn’t the time to worry.

Something wet fell on his cheeks and he opened his eyes. Yifan’s face was right in front of his, his wet hair dripping water onto his skin. Fingers brushed his jaw and a kiss was pressed at the corner of his mouth. Chanyeol drank in the sight of his boyfriend’s body, save for the towel hanging around his waist, yearning to touch him.

“What are you thinking about?” Yifan asked softly, pushing away the strand of hair which covered his face.

Chanyeol’s heartbeat sped up, a warm feeling was invading his chest as he drowned in Yifan’s eyes. Yifan’s hand caressed the younger’s face as they stared at each other in silence. His boyfriend looked soft and comfortable. It was a rare moment of intimacy, and Chanyeol’s own hand reached for his lover’s face, and Yifan leaned into the touch.

I love you, Chanyeol thought.

As if he had heard him, Yifan bent down to brush their lips together chastely, bumping their noses in the process. Inhaling loudly, Chanyeol closed his eyes and brought their mouths together once more, his lips trembling against Yifan’s. Despite all his will to prevent his tears from falling, a teardrop slid down his cheek and his boyfriend collected it, smearing the wetness with his thumb without breaking their kiss.

Chanyeol didn’t want this moment to end. If he could, he would capture it and hang it on his wall to join their other beautiful memories.

Yifan continued to pepper kisses onto his face, whispering sweet and comforting words into his ears. The tone of his voice was begging him to stop crying, but Chanyeol couldn’t stop the tears from falling. He didn’t even know why he was crying in the first place, he couldn’t explain it. Perhaps it was the relief to have Yifan back into his arms; perhaps it was the accumulation of everything he had felt these last six months… He didn’t know.

Looking up at Yifan’s face through blurry eyes, he only saw his boyfriend’s love for him reflecting in his gaze. Yifan was frowning, seeming upset to see Chanyeol cry so much. Chanyeol couldn’t recall the last time he cried so he couldn’t blame Yifan for worrying. Chanyeol’s sobs subsided gradually though, his breathing becoming regular once again.

He must have looked ugly, his face red and wet, but Yifan didn’t comment on it, thumbing his last tears away gently. He pressed a gentle kiss onto his mouth and reached down to intertwine their fingers. Chanyeol was still staring intensely at him, not uttering a word. Then, he lifted his hand, gripping Yifan’s neck, and urged his lover to lay down on him.

Yifan exhaled shakily and buried his face into his neck, pressing butterfly kisses on the skin there. “I love you,” he confessed, his warm breath hitting Chanyeol’s sensitive neck.

The younger circled his arms around him and held him tight, placing a tender kiss on the top of his head. “I love you too,” he paused, his voice cracking. “I missed you so much.”

Yifan nuzzled his jaw and squeezed his fingers, melting into his embrace. “I missed you too, you have no idea.”

“You will stay, right?” Chanyeol asked fearfully. “You have to stay.”

His boyfriend trailed kisses along his neck and cheek, leaving wet marks onto Chanyeol’s red and irritated skin. Chanyeol let out a shaky sigh and angled his face to capture his mouth in an urgent kiss, his lips trembling. Yifan immediately responded to the kiss, pressing himself closer to his younger lover.

“I’m not going anywhere,” he whispered as he drew back, cupping Chanyeol’s face with his free hand. “I promise.”

They locked gaze, Yifan wanting Chanyeol to believe his words, to see the sincerity and the love in his eyes, and the latter making sure he wasn’t dreaming. The younger nodded imperceptibly as his boyfriend ran circle into his cheeks, and a smile automatically blossomed on Yifan’s lips.  

At the sight of that familiar gummy smile, the realest one since Yifan came back, all of Chanyeol’s worries instantly flied away through the window. Right there, right now, all he could think about was Yifan. Yifan. Yifan. 

Yifan continued to smile at him, his eyes shining with unshed tears and so much love that it hurt Chanyeol’s heart—in a good way this time, of course. They looked stupid, the two of them smiling silly and tearing up because of love, because of their love, but they were happy, and more importantly, in love, and that was all that mattered.

The longing Chanyeol felt all these months and earlier that day slowly disappeared from his heart, mind and soul, blossoming into a beautiful sentiment of peace and belonging.

Yifan was home.