Final

"Please don't hit me".

Taekwoon looked at the shorter boy infront of him.
They were cousins and that was the first thing Hakyeon said after spending the day with Taekwoon.

"Why would I hit you?" Taekwoon asked in confusion. He said nothing during the past two hours. He patiently listened to Hakyeon talk.

"I'm sorry I talk too much, it's annoying. You must feel like hitting me right now", Hakyeon replied nervously.

Taekwoon shook his head, "I don't. You're entertaining."
...........
"I saw she hit you on the head", Taekwoon said, "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I feel bad for her", Hakyeon said with a bitter smile.

Taekwoon looked at his cousin in confusion, "Eh?"

"Uncle Jinhyun's family is coming", Hakyeon said as though that was a logical explanation.

"I feel bad for her", Hakyeon repeated, "Uncle Jingyun's son, Hongbin is her dream son. He's attractive, fair, smart, and respectful. Every time they come, she reminded who her son is".

Taekwoon's face hardened. "There's nothing wrong with you. That's no explanation for hitting you", he said firmly.

Hakyeon gave his cousin his regular bright smile, "Thanks Taekwoon, that's kind of you".
The shorter male walked away.

'How long are you going to keep it in Hakyeon? How long can you hide behind that smile of yours?' Taekwoon thought.

Taekwoon wasn't one to express his feeling but he saw past his cousin's facade and that he wasn't as strong as he displayed himself to be.

Whenever the others, Hongbin and Sanghyuk visited, jokes were at his expense; their laughter was at the expense of Hakyeon's faltering forced chuckle.

They seemed to forget Hakyeon was also a person. A person with feelings.
There were endless nights when Taekwoon heard Hakyeon silently cover his sobs into his pillow before falling asleep.

They shared a room and Taekwoon hated seeing Hakyeon like that.

That night, Hakyeon's walls broke.
It was exactly 11:47pm.
Usually Hakyeon waited until Taekwoon was in bed before crying. But today, Taekwoon was up late working on homework when he heard a squeak.
He turned to see his best friend and cousin in the corner of his bed, a pillow pulled up to his face as fat tears rolled down his cheeks.
Taekwoon hated the feeling in his chest when he saw Hakyeon.
He heard the sounds but that wasn't anything compared to his sight right now.
Silently, he sat next to his cousin and placed his arms around Hakyeon's shoulders.
Hakyeon leaned against him, now his head against Taekwoon's chest as hiccups and tears were freed from his lips.

Taekwoon didn't ask questions as Hakyeon cried.
"I just feel so terrible. She doesn't deserve this; I'm sorry for being her son. It would've been better if she didn't have a child. Taekwoon, she has to see me breathe every morning. She has to see my face every morning. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for --" , Hakyeon sobbed.

"Don't say it. Hakyeon, don't you dare finish your sentence. Don't you dare say you're sorry for being born. What happened wasn't your fault", Taekwoon said as he hugged Hakyeon's body even tighter.
---------------------------
Fact was, Hakyeon mother was actually a very kind and happy woman who lived a lavish life. Like any other woman, she fell in love with a boy from college and the two loved each other. Their families were happy and arranged a wedding.
It was a week after engagement that Hakyeon's mother was .
She was walking home from her classes and it was dark; around 9:30pm.
It was a single man who did the deed with a knife at , leaving her crying and screaming in the dark alley.
The man was never caught.

Her husband-to-be couldn't bear to look at her when she got pregnant with the 's child. And eventually, the wedding was broken off.
----------------------------------------

Hakyeon wiped his eyes when he calmed down, "I'm okay Taekwoon-ah; I was just stressed. Let's sleep".
Taekwoon saw through the smile; how long would Hakyeon insist he was okay?

It had been several years that Taekwoon knew Hakyeon. He saw Hakyeon suffer and grow from a child to a teenager.
It was clear to say that Hakyeon hadn't grown from a single ounce of love; from the tender age of 9, his innocence was striped from him when he was told about what happened to his mother.
When he was told why she despises him.
When he was told that he was the reason for her unhappiness.
When that happened, Taekwoon was there to stop the boy from taking his life in their shared room, after Hakyeon and his mother moved into their home.

Hakyeon was always so sensitive and he was filled with guilt and self-hatred to the highest degree.

Taekwoon couldn't do anything but tell Hakyeon that he was important.

But it wasn't enough.
Nothing was enough when Hakyeon was only raised with hate, abuse, and inflicted guilt.

Cha Hakyeon was 19 when he took his life.
You can't imagine Taekwoon's surprise when he found his cousin in the bathtub, shirtless and water stained red.

He called his parents immediately.

He was too shocked to allow tears from rolling down his cheeks. He knew this was coming but he never imagined it to be so soon.
He always thought he'd get to see Hakyeon's radient smile the next day.

They came running and gasped in surprise.
Taekwoon felt numb.
"Don't call the ambulance; he's already dead", his father said after checking his pulse.

Taekwoon didn't eat that night; he had no appetite.

"He should've done it earlier", Hakyeon's mother coldly said, "Ten years earlier to be exact".

Taekwoon realized Hakyeon's ill fate.
No matter how much he willed, Hakyeon wouldn't stay by his side.

Hakyeon wasn't okay; he never was.
But Taekwoon already knew that.

Maybe wasn't meant to live after all.

..................................................................

AAHH