Everything Kuixian believed in turned out to be false.

They said that Kuixian have amnesia which is why he couldn’t remember that Mr. and Mrs. Cho are his parents, Zhoumi is his boyfriend, Hangeng and Lixiu are his best friends. For the past 2 years, he believed in them and loved them whole-heartedly.

Until one day, he was bumped by a large truck. Zhoumi looked at him in shock. Kuixian was pretty sure that he looked quite shock at himself despite feeling the pain. Because what they saw were wires, electric sparks and other metal stuff instead of blood, bones or whatever internal organs that could have been possibly damaged.

After being repaired and fixed back to normal, the secret about Kuixian’s identity was reveal by Mr. And Mrs. Cho, who were both scientists. For years, their job was all about making cyborgs and robots. Five years ago, Kuixian got into a terrible train accident. He was one of the hundred victims. He didn’t exactly die right away. He was in a critical condition but the possibility to coming back to life looked bleak as the days passed by. If a miracle did happen and he would manage to live, it was already sure that Kuixian would obtain some abnormalities.

With the help of the government, Mr. And Mrs. Cho decided that Kuixian should be in their care in the laboratory with their own equipments and the other employees. Then they started making a cyborg that would be similar to Kuixian. When the real Kuixian died, nobody knew except for his parents and the government who they were connected to and a few fellow scientists.

Three years since the accident and one year after Kuixian’s death, the cyborg came to life. Two years later, the cyborg completely believed that he was Kuixian. And now, he, his friends and his boyfriend found out that he was just a cyborg and not the real Kuixian.

“Kuixian, I don’t know what to say.” Zhoumi couldn’t believe what he heard from Kuixian’s parents.

“Say that you love me.”

“I love you.”

“You’re lying!!! How could you say that when I’m not even Kuixian!!!” The cyborg ran away.

He ran away from everybody he knew. He ran away from China. He cried along the way and hated the way he felt so much like a human. He knew that he had a switch and the power to shut himself down. He just didn’t know how to but he tried to look for it. Accidentally, he erased all of his memories instead.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

“Where am I?” As he asked that question to himself, he managed to read the words ‘Welcome to Seoul’. He continued to walk throughout the city. He got lost and walked around in circles. He was pretty sure he passed by the ice cream store for at least 3 times.

“Are you lost?” A teenage boy approached him with a friendly atmosphere and a charming smile.

“Um… yes.” He didn’t know that it was the software inside him that made him understand and allowed him to speak the foreign language fluently. In fact, he didn’t know that he was a cyborg because his data together with his memories was deleted.

“Where are you going? I’m pretty much familiar with the city so I could probably give you some help with the directions.”

“Actually, I don’t know where I’m going. I don’t remember anything.”

The friendly person suddenly looked alarmed and worried. “What do you mean that you don’t remember anything?”

“I just can’t remember.”

“Where do you live?”

“I don’t know.”

“When’s your birthday?”

“I don’t know.”

“What’s your name?”

“I don’t know.”

“You’re not kidding with me, are you?”

“No. Of course not.”

The friendly person stared at him for a while. “My name is Kibum.” He introduced himself and smiled again. “I guess you’re gonna need my help but first, we have to give you a name. Would Kyuhyun be okay?”

“Kyuhyun sounds nice. Thanks.” He decided that the name Kyuhyun would be the first gift that Kibum had given to him and treasured it in his heart.

They went to the police station and submitted a report. They believed that there must be somebody out there looking for Kyuhyun but for the meantime, Kibum offered his house for Kyuhyun to stay.

Kibum lived with his sickly grandma, who was equally friendly as Kibum and happy to meet Kyuhyun. Kibum had been nothing but kind. He offered and bought some clothes for Kyuhyun, cooked for him and helped Kyuhyun find a job. In return, Kyuhyun had to do some house chores and take care of Kibum’s grandma when he has free time.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Three weeks had already passed by and still, they received no report from the police. “I envy you. Even though it’s just you and your grandma, you still have a loving family. I don’t even know what my family is like. I don’t even know if they’re looking for me or maybe they just don’t want to see me.”

“Kyuhyun, you are also a part of this family.” Kibum gave Kyuhyun a friendly hug.

Kyuhyun hugged back tighter and let a few tears of joy escape from his eyes. Later, Kibum for crying and Kyuhyun would be in extreme denial.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

There are times that they would put Kibum’s grandma on the wheelchair and take her out for some fresh air. They would have a picnic at the park. After eating and cleaning everything up, Kyuhyun and Kibum would play with the kites while grandma would continue on with her favorite hobby which was knitting.

When grandma finished knitting a scarf, she gave it to Kyuhyun. “I actually made this for Kibum but I already gave him a lot of things so I decided to give it to you instead as my first and last gift.”

“Please don’t talk like that, grandma.” Kyuhyun said as he accepted the scarf. He took a good look at it and wore it around his neck. “Thank you, grandma. It looks nice on me. You better knit me a pair of gloves to match this scarf.” He teased.

Grandma simply laughed. “Maybe not.” She teased back but deep inside, she knew that it was probably the truth. She became too sick. Her eyesight and hands aren’t cooperating as well as it used to.

“Kibum told me that you went karaoke the other day. He said you have a nice voice. Will you sing for me? I would like to hear it.”

“Okay. I don’t know if you’re familiar with this song but I hope you like it.” Then Kyuhyun started singing whole heartedly.

Grandma smiled as she listened. Later on, she closed his eyes. As the song went near to its end, she stopped breathing. Her life ended just a few seconds before the song.

“Grandma, did you like it?” Kyuhyun asked as he held grandma’s hand, which became really cold. He started to panic as he tried to feel for grandma’s breath and heartbeat. Nothing.

He instantly went to find Kibum. “Kibum!!! Kibum!!! It’s grandma!!! She-- she… d-d….” Kyuhyun broke down crying.

Though Kyuhyun wasn’t able to his sentence, Kibum understood. He hugged Kyuhyun in comfort. “It’s okay. It was just time for her to go.”

During the whole process and even after grandma’s funeral, Kibum never cried once. But a few days later, Kyuhyun found Kibum sitting alone in the room that was once owned by grandma and getting drunk.

“Kibum, I think you had too much.” Kyuhyun took the bottle and glass away.

“I already expected her death so I didn’t feel sad or grief when she really died but now that I felt her absence, it just feels something huge is missing.” This time it was Kyuhyun’s turn to hug Kibum in comfort. Kibum buried his head on Kyuhyun’s chest as he continued to say these words in a muffled tone. “I miss her.”

“Come on. Let’s get you to bed.” Kyuhyun said when Kibum finally calmed down.

Kibum nodded and allowed Kyuhyun to help him walk towards his room. “Thank you.” He said once they reached in front of his bedroom door.

“No problem.” Kyuhyun replied and waited for Kibum to go in but Kibum didn’t make any move. “Um.. Kibum, aren’t you going inside?”

“What if your real family comes to fetch you?” Kibum suddenly asked. “Will you go with them? Will you leave me behind? No!!! I won’t allow you to leave me!!!”

Kibum was obviously still drunk. His tone and stance looked dangerous. Kyuhyun widened his eyes as Kibum grabbed his collar. He was expecting a punch or to be thrown against the wall or floor but instead, he was kissed on the lips.

“Goodnight.” Kibum said as he broke off the kiss and went inside his room. Kyuhyun was left staring at Kibum’s bedroom door.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

“Kibum, do you know what you did when you got drunk yesterday?”

“Is this about the kiss?”

Kyuhyun blushed. He didn’t exactly expect for Kibum to remember. “Well, yeah… about that…”

“I got too emotional. Sorry about that.”

“No, I-it’s okay… I guess… “ Kyuhyun didn’t know why he actually felt disappointed.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

“Kuixian?” Hageng said as he grabbed Kyuhyun’s arm.

Kyuhyun couldn’t help but wonder if he really was Kuixian that this stranger just called him. “I’m sorry but I had amnesia so I don’t exactly remember who I am but I’m currently going by the name of Kyuhyun.”

“Well, there’s one thing that could assure us that you’re really Kuixian.”

“And what is that?”

Hangeng grabbed a knife and slashed Kyuhyun’s wrist.

“Aw!!! What did you do that for?!?!” Kyuhyun’s anger was forgotten when he saw wires, metal and electric sparks and not blood. “What the heck is this?”

“You’re not human, Kuixian.” Hangeng told him everything.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

When Kyuhyun came home, he saw Kibum making out on the couch with some guy he didn’t know. When Kibum noticed Kyuhyun’s presence, he instantly broke off the kiss and stood up. “Kyuhyun, you’re back.”

“Sorry to disturb you guys.” Kyuhyun said as he walked by and stomped up the stairs.

“Kyuhyun, are you okay?” No reply came. “Why am I getting the silent treatment? Are you mad with something I did? Is this about the making out that happened on the couch?”

“I had a bad day, okay?!?! Finally, I met someone who claimed to be my best friend and knew about my past just told me everything including the fact, that I am a cyborg. Then I come home and see you making out with some random guy on the couch. Yes, I am mad because I’m jealous and I’m not even suppose to love you because I’m programmed to love Zhoumi!!!”

“Kyuhyun, do you know what you are saying? You sound crazy.” Kibum obviously didn’t believe what he had just said so Kyuhyun took off the handkerchief that was tied around his wrist and showed Kibum the wound which only consisted of metal and wires.

Kyuhyun expected Kibum to comment about how he was not human but instead, Kibum asked. “You love me?”

And Kyuhyun could only admit it. “Yes.”

“Kyuhyun, you are family to me and I already like someone else.”

“The guy I just saw a while ago?”

“Yes.”

Today was concluded to be Kyuhyun’s worst day.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The next day, there was an unexpected and unfamiliar visitor. “Kuixian!!!” The guy instantly hugged Kyuhyun the moment he saw him.

“And who might you be?”

There was a brief hurt expression on his face but he replaced it with a strained smile. “Well, Hankyung did warn me that you forgot about everything. I’m Zhoumi. He must have told you about me.”

So this was the guy, who he was programmed to be in love with. “Yes, he did.”

There was an awkward moment of silence in between them for a while.

“How have you been?” Zhoumi asked to break the silence.

“I’m fine. Kibum has been taking care of me.” Kyuhyun glanced at Kibum, who was in the kitchen. Kibum, who was actually observing them, pretended to be busy cooking.

“Does he know…?”

“Yeah, I told him yesterday right after I had a talk with Hangeng.”

“And how did he…?”

“I don’t think he cares. He just thinks of me as his family though I wish it could have been more but that would be like to him I guess.”

Zhoumi’s eyes widened. “You love him?”

“Yes or at least I think I do. Maybe there’s a virus in my system?”

“Let’s go back to China. Your parents would know how to bring your memories back. Then… then you can decide if you still want to stay in China or come back here.”

“I think it’s better off this way that I don’t remember anything.”

“Kuixian, I might have thought that you were the real Kuixian for the two years we’ve been together but nevertheless, I loved you. I want you back and I’m sure your parents want you back too.” Zhoumi explained. “Please give us a chance.”

“No. Back there, my identity is Kuixian but here, I am Kyuhyun. Nobody have to expect me to be like Kuixian because nobody knows who is Kuixian in the first place.”

“That’s where you’re wrong. Your face, your voice, your traits and your personality. They’re all copied from Kuixian. You will always be fake Kuixian. The only thing that changed is your name, Kyuhyun.” Zhoumi was suddenly punched by Kibum.

“I’m not going to allow you to talk to him like that. Please kindly leave before I do something worse than that.” Kibum managed to speak politely.

“Kuixian, just please think about it.” Zhoumi said before he left.

“He’s right.” Kyuhyun dropped himself down on the couch. “Everything that I am right now is Kuixian except for the cyborg parts and my new name.”

“There’s something you have that Kuixian doesn’t.”

“What would that be?”

“Me.” Kibum straddled Kyuhyun on the couch and kissed him.

Kyuhyun wondered if this couch was a place for making-out and he was very confused because didn’t Kibum just said that he liked someone else? But right now, Kyuhyun wrapped his arms around Kibum, pulled him closer and kissed him deeper.

When the night came…

When Kibum was in deep sleep…

Kyuhyun packed some of his belongings and left. He decided to go to China after all. He didn’t bother to let Kibum know or say goodbye because he knew that Kibum would stop him. In the airport, Zhoumi and Hangeng were waiting for him.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

In China, he learned everything about himself and his past as he was able to regain his memories. The Kuixian part of himself loved Zhoumi but the Kyuhyun part of himself loved Kibum which made him all the more confuse.

“I’m sorry about what I said back in Korea. About you always being Kuixian. I take that all back.” Zhoumi said. “Although you were programmed to have Kuixian’s personality and traits, you were always a lot nicer than him. You have less sarcasm. You rarely get acne. You can never be Kuixian. At least not completely.”

“I love you both but I think I just love him a bit more and far longer.” Zhoumi said as he kneeled on the grass and caressed the tomb stone that has Kuixian’s name on it.

Because the cyborg was alive, the real Kuixian was never really given a proper funeral or burial until the cyborg went missing. Kyuhyun felt weird to be standing in front of a grave that had his past / fake name on it but nevertheless, he paid respects for the real Kuixian.

“Now, it’s my turn to ask. Do you love me or Kibum?”

“I love you but I think what I feel for Kibum is much stronger.”


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Then it was time to return back to Korea. However, Kyuhyun showed up too late because when he got back home, he saw that Kibum was lying on the bathroom floor. The tiles and sink were covered with blood. Kyuhyun knelt down and tried to feel for Kibum’s breathing and pulse. It felt de ja vu with what he did to Kibum’s grandma.

None… as in nothing.

“Kibum, why didn’t you wait for me? You idiot. A normal person wouldn’t commit suicide!!!” Kyuhyun hugged Kibum’s dead body and finally, he felt himself shut down.

On the bathroom mirror was Kibum’s bloody message.

“Everybody left me so it’s time for me to leave.

My only regret is that I lied

But the truth is,

Kyuhyun I love you.”

THE END

A/N: Honestly, I was close to writing a happy ending a lot of times >.> and this story would have probably been shorter if I wrote a happy ending because there were a lot of previous scenes that I wanted to connect with a happy ending XD.

But the request asked for pure unadulterated angst so... ^^;; This fic was made for the santa fic exchange back in 2009 I think in livejournal~

Comments please?