flawless [one-shot] by nerdyhemmo // bamskookie

❝ You are flawless, but I just can't wait for love to destroy us. ❞

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He was always the careful one, the one to look before he leapt. She was the complete opposite, the one do it now then remember it later. But somehow neither questioned why they were together.

It was the two of them, the perfect pair in their world. Jin loved her, and probably always will.

He couldn't remember when it was that he realized he loved her. He just knew he couldn't picture a future without her anymore.

Every moment with her was heaven. He didn't need much, just seeing her smile was the best thing in the world.

What exactly made him fall for her? There was so much about her, he couldn't possibly list everything. There was so much he loved.

The way her eyes sparkled when she looked at him, the way her smile always reached her eyes. He loved the way she moved, as if nothing could ever bother her. She was a free spirit, he always thought. He loved that about her.

He loved the feeling of falling asleep with her by his side. It always felt right when he held her in his arms. Waking up and seeing her always sends a smile to his lips.

Her kisses were drugs to him. He couldn't ever get enough. Her embrace was home to him. He knew it was with her he belonged.

She was perfect, to him. Flawless.

And that scared him.

She was everything so precious, but she was always so reckless.

He was the careful one, the one to look before he leaps. And she was the one to jump head first into the unknown.

She was the wind that never stayed still. She was the breeze that blew past on a warm summer day.

He never knew what to expect from her next.

And then one day, she was gone. Gone.

Just the other day he had woken up with her in his arms. What had happened that lead him wanting to burn every memory of her?

At the back of his mind, he knew she would leave. There was always that lingering feeling that she wouldn't stick around. He just didn't think it would be this soon. Or that he'd be so deep in love.

He felt it the minute she started pulling away. She was with him. Her heart, though, wasn't. He hadn't realized when he lost it, he didn't know she had taken it back.

The bigger problem, though, was that she still had his heart. He couldn't find it in him to ask for it back. He wanted to, but at the same time he didn't.

He sat in their room, wondering what went wrong. And maybe trying to stop loving her.

"Seokjin?" her voice echoed in the quiet room.

He looked up at her, the smile forcing its way to his lips without consent. He cursed to himself, hating that she still had that effect on him. Hating that she could make him feel the way he did.

He hated her. He hated that he loved her still.

"What?"

"Nothing," she said, shaking her head, "It's nothing."

For a second, he thought she would say something. It would have made things easier if she did, then maybe it would have ended already.

But she didn't. She said nothing, and maybe there was a spark of hope in Jin when he realized she wouldn't say anything. Maybe it was just a phase and she'll be back.

She could love him again.

The memory came to his mind and he told himself he was being delusional. He shouldn't want her to come back. He shouldn't love her anymore.

He should just tell her he didn't love her anymore and leave, but for some reason he thought that lie hurt more than the truth.

"Oh. You looked as if you wanted to say something important," he mumbled.

She shook her head again. "It's nothing. You just look... tired."

I am tired, he thought.

He opened his mouth to say something but her ringtone cut through the moment. She answered the call and walked out of the room.

It's happened a lot lately. They would be together but then her phone would ring and she'd leave the room to talk to the caller. He never thought much of it before, but then he saw her.

He had been at a restaurant, waiting for the rest of his friends. Jin had called her, asking her if she had wanted to join them for lunch. Just as she told him that she was busy at work, he turned his head to look out the window and there she was. She wasn't alone. Someone he didn't know had his arm over her shoulders. She hadn't seen Jin as they walked past.

Jin had hung up, leaving the cafe and tried following the pair.

He hadn't wanted to think the worst. There could've been a good reason why she was with him. But he was crushed when the two came to a stop and the guy pulled her in for a kiss. She hadn't pushed him away.

That was the moment he realized she wasn't his anymore. He had walked back, his heart feeling as if was getting heavier with every step he took.

So here he is now, lying on his bed as he wonders why he's still there.

Why?

Because, as much as he hated to admit it, he still loved her. It drove him crazy, but he didn't think he could ever be the one to end things with her.

It was already over for her, but he was still holding on. He needed her.

He wanted her. He wanted her to come back to him.

Jin felt the tears coming and he brought his knees closer to his chest, as if this new position could protect him from the pain.

"Let me go," he whispered. "Let go."

But he knew it was him who needed to let go. It was just him who wanted to believe that she could still find her way back to him.

"Please let go."