June 20, 2015

I never want someone like I want you, I never begged someone like I begged you. You’re just different for me. I loved you, I loved you. But till the day we have to far apart, I never said what I’m feeling to you. I just said it through my eyes. I just tried to say it through my habit to you. Since I never told you what I’m feeling, then I never know how is your feeling. Did you love me? Did you have the same love as mine? Did you know what I’m trying to say through my eyes? I think absolutely no, you never knew what I’m feeling. I’m just a little girl with this big feeling. I love you, even in the end of our time I still can’t tell you that I love you. Now I’m regretting.

I loved you from this distance. I never touch you or even said something about my feeling. I just tried to letting you know through my eyes and my smile. All of the things that we’d shared before, all of smiles that I ever gave you before was just so real. I could not do anything.

I could not explain my feel.

Letting you to love other girl was my way to make you happy. Even that girl told me almost everything that both of you had been through. The day she told you her feeling, I even know that clearly. I know how she looks at you as a lovely boyfriend. Without any words I also know that (may be) you love her too. I know that, even when she told me everything about you I just listen and try to comfort my feeling. I didn’t get hurt. I just felt that something happened in my heart that time. Something like a bittersweet of life, something like making me weak.

This love that I never told you till the day I will walk away from you. This love that I never let you know that it was true. In this cold and lonely heart I saved all of my feeling for you. I just didn’t have any courage to tell you. I just didn’t wanna hurt myself.

This love that I never told you is being with me till the day I go. Sorry for not telling you my feeling. If someday we’re meant to be, I wish we could meet in a best condition. I wish we could meet with the better affection. If we’re not, I hope you can be happy as I am. I hope you can remember me, even you don’t remember my love.

Thank you for letting me love you,

Thank you for letting me admire you,

I know I never told you, so I’m sorry

But

Thank you for always making me so special

Thank you for ever asked me something no sense just because you wanted to melt the ‘ice’ when we were just together that time

Thank you for something that you ever did to me, without you know all of these things just made me happy

This love that I never told you just happily growing and it had taught me that love is never meant that he has to know

Sometimes love makes us happy because we can see him from this distance with this big love and no one realize it

It gets hurt sometimes,

But that is a kind of love

Love that we never told them that we have

Kind of love that grows without he knows

Without he realizes

“I Love you”

I write down this letter in the day that I would leave him. I’m happy because the day before I go, I met him. I just met for a second. I just said ‘hi’, even he didn’t say anything. But his eyes told me something. It told me something that I could not see clearly. It told me something like sadness. It looked at me like it was the last chance for the owner of that eye to look at me.

That time I really wanted to tell him what I’m feeling. But I couldn’t

It just ended like that. . 

I bring this love with me,

Good bye my unspeakable love.

Remember me as your friend,

Call me when someday we meet,

Because I will call you right after I see you

안녕 나의 사랑

안녕 나의 재범아

난 김유미

Kim Yumi, someone who loved you without ever letting you know her feeling

That girl is me, Yumi