Jongin shrugged off his jacket as he stepped into the house. He expected some sort of greeting at his arrival, but remained far from surprised when one never came. Instead, he walked up the entryway stairs to find Jongdae and Yifan snuggling on the couch while watching a CARE-approved animated movie about an old man and a house flown by balloons. Well, Jongdae was watching the movie; in a rare display of vulnerability, Yifan was asleep and curled up with his head resting in his lover’s lap. At the sight, Jongin felt a familiar twinge of something, but soon pushed the feeling aside at the welcoming smile he received from Jongdae after emitting the customary “I’m home.”

Relocating Yifan’s head to a pillow—gently so as not to wake him up—Jongdae got off the futon and approached Jongin, pulling the youngest into a tight hug and kissing him hello. “Are you alright?” Jongdae asked, catching some emotion on Jongin’s face that Jongin thought he had better concealed.

“Fine,” Jongin responded, heart swelling with affection as he leaned into Jongdae’s hand while the elder brushed away the bangs that were beginning to grow too long over Jongin’s eyebrows. “Just tired, I guess.”

Jongdae nodded and questioned no further, though Jongin could see from the tightening around Jongdae’s eyes and the appearance of a minor pout on his lips that Jongdae did not believe him even a little bit. “Go change then,” Jongdae ordered, accompanying his words with a light pat on Jongin’s . Jongin obeyed, disappearing into the bedroom. He reappeared with damp hair 15 or so minutes later, freshly showered and looking much more relaxed in his outfit of grey sweats and a wife beater that spelled “Eats to live” across the front and read “Lives to DANCE” on the back.

Ordinarily, the sight of Jongin in such clothing was somewhat of a turn on to Jongdae and Yifan, both of whom were highly appreciative of the dancer litheness and muscular tone of Jongin’s body. Today, though, as Jongin slumped down into his space on the sofa to cuddle between Jongdae and a still slumbering Yifan, he caught Jongdae’s confused gaze lingering on his shirt. Jongdae tried to hold his eyes, but Jongin looked away, again feeling that strange but familiar twinge before burying his face in Yifan’s shoulder and closing his eyes to catch up on some much needed sleep.

Before he could, Yifan reacted to the sudden warmth of body heat at his back and woke up, yawning and rubbing his eyes tiredly as he did so. “Jongin-ah,” he said groggily, and Jongin felt his stomach flutter with butterflies of love for the large man against whose back he was still leaning. Yifan’s half-greeting was responded to with a back hug and quick kiss on a chiseled cheek, while Jongdae insincerely muttered something about feeling left out and launched himself at his two lovers.

Still in the process of waking up from his nap, Yifan’s reaction was a loud groan of faux pain, while Jongin just laughed at his troll of a boyfriend. “You’re being silly,” Jongin said into Jongdae’s mouth when the latter pulled him in for another kiss.

“Totally,” Yifan agreed crisply, though he still hummed with pleasure when Jongdae transferred his attention from Jongin over to the Chinese man. Though Jongin had somehow managed to tamp down on the something he was feeling recently, watching Yifan and Jongdae make out made the twinge return with a nagging fervor that made Jongin frown reflexively.

“I knew it!” Jongdae shouted suddenly during a pause for breath between his and Yifan’s kisses, interrupting Jongin’s thoughts and causing Yifan to pout grumpily at the disruption. Pulling back from his lover, the troll said to Yifan, “Babe, something is wrong with our maknae.”

Jongin shook his head in disagreement, but the frown was still pasted to his lips and Yifan had to reach out to physically smooth away the worry lines which appeared on the youngest man’s forehead. “Jongin-ah,” Yifan coaxed, his voice deep and gruff, “you know we love you.”

This time, Jongin nodded; he knew of Yifan and Jongdae’s love for him because they were constantly reminding him of it. But he was also fully aware of Yifan and Jongdae’s love for each other, as well as the fact that their love outdated him. Since Yifan and Jongdae were only a few months apart—a distinct contrast with Jongin’s four years—they’d both known from 18 that CARE had made them partners. Most CARE couples were lucky enough to fall in love with each other; Jongdae and Yifan were no different.

What was different was Jongin. He was only 14 when CARE put the other two together, and though Jongdae and Yifan were aware of their three partner arrangement from the very beginning, Jongin, at least, had no idea that he’d have more than the customary number of CARE-dictated lovers once he came of age. He’d been shocked, of course—though their situation was not unprecedented, it was exceedingly rare—but CARE did not make mistakes, and when Yifan and Jongdae had accepted him into their hearts lovingly and without hesitation, Jongin did the same.

“Tell us,” Jongdae urged, dragging Jongin from his thoughts for the second time that night.

Jongin made the conscious effort to transform his frown into a small smile. “I’m fine,” he repeated.

This time, though, Jongdae refused to believe him. As Jongin spoke, Yifan and Jongdae shared a loaded glance before reaching over at the same time and pulling Jongin toward them from where he had subconsciously separated himself during their earlier kissing. Jongdae removed himself from his prior position on Yifan’s lap and got up, only to relocate to the other side of Jongin so that the maknae was sitting on the sofa with a concerned lover on either side.

“Tell us,” Jongdae reiterated.

“Because you’re wearing the shirt,” Yifan added, cluing Jongin in to the strangely confused look Jongdae had given him earlier. Jongin looked down to realize that he was, indeed, wearing the one shirt he still owned from his pre-Jongdae and Yifan youth. This was soon followed by a grimace as Jongin remembered his well-known tendency to wear this particular item of clothing whenever upset over some aspect of their relationship. All citizens had been taught from an early age about CARE’s infallibility, so Jongin knew that CARE wasn’t responsible for their ups-and-downs, but no relationship was perfect and one consisting of three people could definitely be a little bumpier than others at times.

Jongin sighed, the familiar twinge now coming to settle inescapably in his gut. He didn’t want to share his turmoil with Yifan and Jongdae because he didn’t want to seem ungrateful. It was due to luck and a lot of hard work that Jongdae and Yifan loved him, and Jongin truly loved them in return; but sometimes the feeling of insecurity was too great to ignore. He took a deep breath to gather his courage and whispered, “I’m four years younger than you.”

Yifan nodded, but Jongdae looked puzzled as to why that would matter. He said as much and Jongin just shook his head.

“You don’t understand,” Jongin said, and Yifan was momentarily affronted before Jongin continued. “Sometimes I come home and there’s no one to greet me because you two are so wrapped up in each other that it sometimes feels like you forget I exist.”

Jongdae opened his mouth to defend himself and their Chinese lover, but Yifan stopped him short with a slight shake of the head and the quiet placement of a steady hand on Jongdae’s arm. “And I know, I know, that this is silly,” Jongin said, exasperated with himself for the swirl of emotions that he was painfully feeling in that moment. “But I can’t seem to help it sometimes. Especially when I think about the fact that you had four whole years together before me, and that makes your relationship seems so, so,” Jongin paused to find the right word, “seamless.”

By now, both Yifan and Jongdae were shaking their heads in vehement disagreement, but Jongin was on a roll at this point and didn’t notice them. “Whereas I just feel like an awkward burden of a third wheel who is a little too young and arrived a little too late,” he finished dejectedly.

“Jongin, sweetheart,” Yifan said, emphasizing the pet name he used for Jongin only on particularly important occasions, “no.” He pulled Jongin into a strong embrace, and Jongdae latched onto the maknae as well, hugging him tightly from behind. “We love you,” Yifan continued, “and we’ve always loved you, even before we knew who you were. Because we’ve always known you were coming to us.”

“And not as a burden,” Jongdae interjected, echoing Jongin’s earlier words as he rubbed soothing circles into the maknae’s shoulder blades. “But as a gift.”

Jongin felt comforted as Jongdae peppered little kisses along his neck and below his ears, but it was Yifan’s words that truly assuaged his insecurities. The eldest directed Jongin’s chin until the latter’s lips met his own in a sweet kiss of reassurance. “I’m sorry, Jongin-ah,” Yifan apologized, “if you’re feeling excluded, it’s not purposeful. But do I hope you realize that our,” Yifan gestured between himself, Jongdae, and Jongin to emphasize that Jongin was included, “relationship is only seamless because you with the two of us makes it that way. We aren’t a “we” if there are not three of us together in this, okay?”

Too overcome with emotion to speak, Jongin just nodded in understanding, shuddering soon after when Jongdae leaned further against Jongin’s back and offered his own apology with a tiny nibble at the maknae’s lobe. Somehow, Jongin had ended up in Yifan’s lap during the whole exchange, and the Chinese man found himself incredibly appreciative of the sensuous sight of Jongdae’s pink tongue as it dipped quickly into Jongin’s ear and the feel of Jongin above him as the youngest lover shuddered again.

“Stop, please,” Yifan groaned, readjusting himself as he did so. He directed his attention specifically to Jongdae and said, “I don’t think I can take it if you keep making him move like that.”

But Jongdae was nothing if not consistent and his eyes twinkled as he daringly moved his mouth to at a sensitive spot on Jongin’s neck. “Who said you had to?” Jongdae asked Yifan cheekily once a slight bruise began to bloom on his darker lover’s skin.

Jongin’s eyes were closed in pleasure at Jongdae’s ministrations and Yifan’s comforting words, but he managed to moan out an agreeing, “What he said,” before welcoming Yifan’s lips as they crashed to meet his own.

Something else all citizens were taught about CARE was the meaning behind the government’s acronym: Concern, Awareness, Reciprocity, and Equality. Even as a child, Jongin had conscientiously worked to be his best for whomever his future partner turned out to be. He hadn’t needed to be taught concern or awareness for his fellow citizens because he’d always had that. It was the mutual dependence of reciprocity and his participation in an equal relationship of three that Jongin was still learning.

He continued to have moments of self-doubt—particularly when Jongdae and Yifan got more than a little caught up in each other—but they were always quick to draw him back in and he was never jealous of what the other two had because what he had with each of them was special too. What mattered is that He was trying, and so were they. That didn’t mean things were perfect for the three of them, but if CARE didn’t make mistakes, Jongin’s heart didn’t either, so somehow he knew they’d be okay.