Chapter One

*Flashback*

"The square root of b squared minus four ac," Baekhyun memorized the quadratic formula. School had already ended, but Baekhyun stayed behind. And it wasn't to memorize algebra formulas. Baekhyun heard that Park Chanyeol was in detention. Even just a glimpse of Chanyeol can make Baekhyun go crazy with lust.

Baekhyun checked his G-Shock watch again. 3:56. Chanyeol would be coming out of Mrs. Ahn's room any second.

He heard them before he saw them. It was his bullies, who also happened to be Chanyeol's best friends. Baekhyun quickly packed up his books and hid behind the lockers. Then he realized. He left his diary on the fountain bench, still open on the page he just wrote in.

"That little made us scrape gum under the desks," Baekhyun heard Sehun curse.

"Hey what's this?" Chen said, stooping down to examine the brown notebook.

"It's a notebook ," Sehun chuckled.

"Well what's inside?" Suho asked. Baekhyun saw him pick up his diary.

"'Dear diary, I think I'm in love with Park Chanyeol. I don't know how, but it's just his charm. He's so handsome'," Chen read. Baekhyun cringed.

"Must've been some secret admirer of Chanyeol hyung," Sehun concluded.

"Hey," Chen smirked deviously, "why don't we embarrass the girl who wrote this diary?"

"Let's do it." The guys left with Baekhyun's diary and Chanyeol came out of Mrs. Ahn's room shortly after.

"Damn it. The guys never wait for me," Chanyeol muttered under his breath. Baekhyun stuck his head from his hiding spot and saw Chanyeol sitting on the fountain, calling his friends.

"Yeah. I'm at the fountain. No way. Are you serious? Okay where are you? Okay. I'll meet you at the cafe," Chanyeol said and then hang up. When he finally left, Baekhyun came out of his spot and let out the breath he was holding. He hugged his books and smiled, blushing. He saw his crush again.

Then he realized. He was falling harder for Chanyeol every day. Every hour. Every minute. Every second.

Baekhyun went home on his scooter and ran upstairs once he got home. Since his diary got stolen, he wrote out his day on a notepad.

10.19.15
Dear diary,
I saw him again today. I hid behind the lockers and saw him calling his friends. He looked so handsome when he was scratching his brown hair. Sometimes I wonder. Is he also gay or bi as well? Or is he straight? I really hope he's bi or gay. When we could have a chance together. His friends stole my diary. I feel so stupid for leaving it there. Now it's going to be so embarrassing tomorrow. As long as Chanyeol's here, I believe I can do anything.

Baekhyun went to bed shortly after. He woke up to the sound of his alarm and got dressed for school.

Once he got to school, he saw Sehun standing on top of the fountain.

"'I saw him again today. He bought a chocolate mocha latte. Gosh I wish I worked there. He's always there,'" Sehun read one entry of Baekhyun's diary.

"Wow. She's a stalker," Sehun commented. Baekhyun winced. She?

"Here's another one: 'He's so cute today. He passed by me today when he turned in his test in Korean Literature today.'" Baekhyun blushed ferociously. He ran away and hid in the music room.

He walked to the grand piano. It was his only escape from reality. The keys felt like home on his delicate fingers. Before Baekhyun knew it, he began playing a similar tune.

"Exchanging only our separate fates that lead to one another
As inevitable as it seemed that we’d miss, I know we loved just as much
When you smile, sun shines A brilliance you can’t fit into a framework of language
The waves crash my heart and crumble down oh," Baekhyun sang. Only God knew how much Sehun read from his diary, but it didn't matter. It was just him and the piano.

"You know that was a pretty good tune there. Maybe a little rap as the bridge would be better," he heard Chanyeol comment. Baekhyun hit a sour note and winced. He turned around and saw Chanyeol with his hand on the doorway.

"W-what?" Baekhyun asked.

"That's melody was pretty good. I'm also a composer, but I play the acoustic guitar. Who sings this song you played?" Chanyeol questioned. Baekhyun blushed furiously.

"I, um, wrote the song my-myself," Baekhyun stuttered. He cursed himself in his mind for being so stupid. Chanyeol only nodded.

"Play it again," he commanded and took a seat next to him. Taking a deep breath, Baekhyun began the familiar tune.

"Above the dark shade of pain, at the doorsteps of farewell
Even if I take a brutal fall, I can manage if it were for you
Uh, Instead I’ll give myself to you who don’t know me
Don’t cry, give me chilling laughter instead of hot tears, baby," Chanyeol rapped.

"That was really good," Baekhyun complimented.

"Thanks," Chanyeol gave him a big smile. Then he struck out his hand. "I don't think you know me. My name is Park Chanyeol."

Baekhyun shook his hand firmly. God his hands are so soft, Baekhyun thought. "My n-name's Byun Baekhyun."

"Nice to meet you. Well, I have to get going. Don't forget to write down my lyrics for that song you wrote. Bye!" Chanyeol left the music room and it became silent again. Baekhyun took out his temporary diary and wrote in it.

10.25.15

Dear diary,

He's nice. And funny. He's nothing what others have said about him. Everyday, I'm growing more and more in love Park Chanyeol. He's my everything.

The bell rang, signaling first period. Baekhyun closed his notebook and headed to class, making sure he didn't leave anything behind this time.

"Good morning class. As you can tell, winter break is approaching fast, but I have an assignment for you guys to do before winter break start. I know you guys don't want to do a boring paper test for the midterm, so I decided we're doing a project. You guys will be assigned a Korean city and do a report about it," Mrs. Ahn said. The class groaned.

"So you rather do a ten page paper test about the Korean history?"

"Noooo," the class refused in sync. Mrs. Ahn smiled in victory.

"Okay I'll give you your cities in alphabetical order. First, Byun Baekhyun, you're getting Incheon," she said. The list went on and on, but Baekhyun didn't pay attention until she called out Chanyeol.

"Park Chanyeol, you're getting Namsan."

During lunch period, Kai had to take papers down to the office and saw Baekhyun's diary. It was on the bench. Kai picked it up.

"No way. Kai wrote the diary," Chen whispered. The boys had planted the diary there so they could find out who wrote it and embarrass them.

"That loser," Sehun commented.

"So you're the one that wrote the diary?" Suho said, coming out of his hiding spot and confronting Kai.

"N-no. It's my friend's," Kai explained.

"Are you sure?" Kai nodded. "Then who's is it?"

"Byun Baekhyun," Kai blurted out. He cursed at himself.

Chen smirked. "He's that boy that ran out this morning."

"Oh that kid. That was him," Sehun said.

"Go on. Give that diary back to him. We already got what we need," D.O said, shooing Kai away. Kai ran away and went to find Baekhyun. He found him at his locker.

"Baek," Kai greeted. "I found your diary."

"Wow. Really? Thanks." Baekhyun took the diary back and neatly placed it inside of his messenger bag.

"There was also something else. I might've accidentally told them you owned it," Kai confessed. Baekhyun's mouth was agape.

"Sorry," Kai apologized sheepishly.

"It's okay. It was just a one time mistake," Baekhyun said, smiling at the younger boy.

"You-you're not mad?" Kai asked, shocked. That was coming from the Baekhyun that yelled at him for misplacing his mechanical pencil in his book bag.

Baekhyun shrugged. "Eh. Everybody was bound to find out anyways." Baekhyun locked his locker and stood up. "Let's go."

Baekhyun decided to go home with Kai. He got into Kai's Hyundai and left with him. Kai decided to sleep over at Baekhyun's house tonight.

"Mom! I'm home!" Baekhyun yelled once he walked in.

"I'm here too!" Kai yelled. Baekhyun's mom came out of the kitchen, wiping her hands on a kitchen rag. It looks like she tried experimenting with a new Szechuan dish.

"Mom what did you make this time?" Baekhyun asked. Then he smiled. "Because it smells delicious!"

His mom went over and gave him a kiss on his forehead. "It's general tso's chicken. Kai would you like to stay over for dinner?"

"Of course. I could never pass up on Mama Byun's cooking," Kai laughed.

"Well. Dinners going to be ready in a few hours. You two kids go study or do whatever you guys are supposed to do." His mom shooed them out of the kitchen and up the stairs.

"I can still smell it." Kai sniffed the air and smiled. "It smells so good."

"Well it's only 3:30 and dinner's at 6:30." Baekhyun hopped on his bed and checked his phone. Kai jumped on the bed too.

"Bro, don't go on your Instagram," Kai said, checking his phone. Baekhyun didn't listen and checked anyway. There were a lot of notifications. 37 comments.

"That's odd. I haven't posted since last week," Baekhyun said. He tapped on it.

"Is he really gay? @baekhyunee_"
"He likes guys."
"Gayyyyyyy."
"The nerd is gay? Doesn't surprise me."

There were many more rude comments, but Baekhyun didn't want to read anymore. He shut off his phone and threw it to the ground.

Kai gave him a worried look. "Are you okay?"

"Y-yeah. I mean. They were bound to find out one day," Baekhyun stuttered. His phone chimed again. Real_pcy posted a photo. Baekhyun unlocked his phone to see it. A picture of Chanyeol popped up on his phone. He had his thumb up while smiling.

'Straight and proud!' Baekhyun read the caption.

 

It made Baekhyun want to barf and hide in a hole.

"Baek, you okay?" Kai asked. Baekhyun shook his head.

"No. No!" Baekhyun yelled. He got off his bed and bumped into the wall. Kai helped steady him.

"Woah. Calm down. Easy there," Kai soothed. Baekhyun became a crying mess. Baekhyun kept crying in Kai's arms until it was dinner time.

"Let's get your cleaned up," Kai said. He dragged Baekhyun to the bathroom and the faucet. He stripped Baekhyun of his clothes and threw him in the bathtub. He put in some soap and left Baekhyun sit there for thirty minutes.

"Baekhyun. I'm sorry. Just get dressed and eat dinner. I'll take you somewhere after dinner," Kai said once Baekhyun was clear of his surroundings.

"Okay," was all Baekhyun said. He was so lifeless, his cheeks were tear stained. His eyes were bloodshot red. He showed no expression. Kai left the bathroom and waited for Baekhyun downstairs.

10.25.15
Dear diary,

I hate it. I hate Park Chanyeol. I hate Oh Sehun. I hate Kim Jongdae. I hate Kim Junmyeon. I hate Kim Minseok. I hate Do Kyungsoo. I hate myself. Why? I hate myself for still loving Park Chanyeol even if he's mocking me. Of course he has found out. But was he disgusted? Or happy? Could he be lying on his Instagram post?

"Baekhyun! Come down for dinner!" His mom called from downstairs. Kai was already eating by the time Baekhyun got downstairs.

"I love me my chicken," Kai exclaimed. Dinner went without any problems an 

 

Next Day

Baekhyun didn't want to go to school. He knew what he was going to face.

The teasing.

The name calling.

The pushing around.

Kai knocked on Baekhyuns door, asking him if he was ready to go. Baekhyun looked in the mirror and sighed.

"I can do this." He whispered to himself. "I got this."

Once Kai and Baekhyun arrived at school, a group of boys came over to Baekhyun, cornering him. Kai tried to help but the boys just pushed him away.

"Kai just go." Baekhyun pleaded. He hated to see Kai suffering. Kai nodded his head and walked away slowly, wishing he could save his best friend.

"So you're gay huh?" One of boys laughed.

"You're so pathetic." Another one said. They grabbed Baekhyuns bag and searched through it.

"Ha, got it." They took out Baekhyuns diary and flipped through pages. Baekhyun tried to take it back but one of the boys punched him in the jaw.

"This is so lame." They all laughed and started ripping out pages from the diary.

"Stop!" Baekhyun yelled and lunged forward in attempt to get his diary. The same boy who hit him kneed him in the stomach multiple times. Baekhyun bent over in pain as he coughed up blood.

"Please." Baekhyun winced as another guy grabs him by the collar of his shirt. They continued to punch Baekhyun and rip out pages from his diary.

"Stop!" A deep voice yelled. The group of boys ran away, leaving Baekhyun on the floor. Baekhyun tried sitting up but ended up falling back down.

"Hey hey hey, don't do that. You'll just hurt yourself even more."

Baekhyun looks up, his hair hanging over his eyes.

"Did you ever write my part for your song down?"