Jinwoo fixed his gaze at some seagulls from a distance. Perhaps, they were chasing something worth having and he actually felt a slight pang of envy - at least, they were chasing something. The sea in front of him is vast,wide and lonely. Lonely. It was probably him who made the ocean lonely today. He rewarded himself a deep breath as he stared at the sky this time. It was beautiful and in all sense of the word, still lonely to him. He continued to fix his gaze at the now crimson sky, the sun slowly going into hiding. The view was breathtaking, possibly something that would be etched in his mind for a very long time but like any other beautiful thing, it was brief and almost melancholic.  He smiled a bittersweet smile as he drifted away from the site and stared at his hand, scribbling on the wet sand. He was on a crossroad. He was sure of it. It felt like he had been hit by a truck. He made it out alive but the pain still lingered and throbbed in every fiber of his being. He bit his lip as the memory of what he was running away from came rushing back to him, ing him up. He was stupid, careless and no less than a coward for everything that had happened. But he was tired. He was tired of always being the person to hold on. He wanted to be held on too. But maybe, he wondered, he was never meant to experience such things.

He watched the sky turn darker, not once attempting to move away. It was a sanctuary for him.  He felt safe tucked alone by the sea side with nothing but his lamentations and misery. He knew what he felt now was better than what he felt before, false happiness and scarce hope before he let go. He convinced himself that it was better for him to be alone and sad than to be with someone...and still be sad. He looked at the water, ebbing in and out and had the urge to just slowly walk into it and end it right there. The waves repeatedly hitting the sand and washing away the debris of Whatnot's back to the sea. Now he was tempted to know if it would wash away everything in him too. But his will to live was much stronger. He could survive this. A heartache from a man he had loved selflessly for three years. He was Kim Jinwoo, after all. And it might be a little too late but he deserved better. Better than what he thought was love.

"Father, I'm going for a walk." Jinwoo strides out the door as he watched his father give a nod. He knew his old man had a lot of questions, and he also knew that his father respected his decision to not say anything. It was over a month when he found himself back in the island he grew up in. He went home, knocked on their door and hugged his father. And as his warmth seeped through him, he broke down, crying until his knees gave out - his father wordlessly holding him. The old man never said a word just offered him comfort and security. That somewhere in his lonely life someone loves him selflessly too. It was comforting for him to know that. He stayed in the island helping his father on the docks and fixing broken fences and whatnot's. His father did not mind having him back but he knew his son all too well.

Jinwoo decided to walk aimlessly today. Taking lazy steps along the silent trail of the island. It was just five pm but the trail was already empty save for himself. He shifted his foot to the right and headed to the docks. The island was pretty small and he knew he would always end up by the sea. He searched for a suitable spot and made his way to sit comfortably on one of the rocks. He placed his hand on his pocket and took out his phone. It was turned off for a month now. He was still contemplating about turning it back on, afraid that nobody texted him or looked for him at all. He didn't have any friends save for a few acquaintances. And he knew all of them because of him. Everything in his life involved him. He sighed heart once again aching, he had to get through this in order to move on. He was determined to get his life back on track. A month of brooding and hoping was long enough. He was an idiot. There was a part of him that wanted him to come rushing to him and beg for him to comeback. But he did not. And it made him feel even more worthless. He should move on, he thought. He even cheated on him throughout their relationship. Having him out of his life should make him a happy man. And as his thoughts slipped away from him, he found himself turning the phone on. A minute later, notifications flooded his phone. He stared at it not wanting to check every text, missed call and email that came through.

"Yah! Kang Seungyoon!" The man named Kang Seungyoon felt a nudge on his shoulder. He tried his best to keep his eyes open but the bottle of almost empty whisky was an indication that he was already drunk and still miserable. Song Mino stood in front of Seungyoon as he watched the younger slur his way to another glass. He was not even going to stop him now. He was tired of doing so for the past month. The guy in front of him was nothing like his friend. The man in front of him was drinking his life away, tears sometimes cascading down his cheeks.  He knew he was like that because of the beautiful man that slapped him hard on the bar they were in a month ago. He did not see Seungyoon the day after that but three days later, he got call from the bar's manager telling him to collect his friend. It was heartbreaking to see the younger man breaking apart every single day. He had seen him curse at people randomly. He also knew that he had been calling a number every now and then when he's drunk. It was a slump he never imagined Seungyoon would go into. He never even knew he was in a relationship. Who would have thought it when he went to clubs regularly and slept with just about everyone. Mino squinted as the younger started blabbering again.

"I don't deserve to chase him you know" his words was almost incoherent. He took a swig of his whisky, scribbling something in the table. The word 'sorry' was now splattered on the table thanks to the whisky he spilled somewhere in between his drunkenness.

"Mino." Seungyoon tried his hardest to sit up properly. He faced Mino and smiled. He was a bastard and he knew that all too well and it took him three years to get to his senses together...or whatever was left of it. "I love him."

"If you love him, stop drinking and man up! Find him. Win him back, damn it!" Mino huffed and helped himself to his drink, he heard Seungyoon releas a shallow laugh. The laugh was soon followed by a stifle which then broke into a sob.

"I know that he's on his hometown right now. He's simple minded like that. But I also know that I do not deserve him. I never deserved him in the first place." Seungyoon cried some more.

"Why don't you show him otherwise then?" Mino asked feeling frustrated.

"Do you know what he said to me that night?" Seungyoon felt a lump on his throat. "He asked me a question. He asked me if I ever felt guilty every time I ed someone else. He asked me if there was ever a time I made him happy. He asked me if I loved him. He asked me to let him go because I am heartless and I was stupid. I should have held on to him, I should have begged for him to stay. But I was a coward. I was a jerk and I do not deserv