Dating someone you love isn't hard.  And it's not hard to love them.  If you love them, there obviously has to be reasons.  And it's not hard to think of them.  What is hard, is knowing you love them and knowing the reasons but when the reasons show, you can't touch them, you can't tell them that you love them, you can't show that, what they just did, was one of the reasons.  At least not then.

Seunghyun, is my lover, my boyfriend, boy toy, whatever you prefer.  He is a wonderful man and is very appealing to the eye, if you must.  The man is slightly taller than average, a hell of a lot taller than me, and has the deepest, iest voice you could have ever heard.  He has a quite serious demeanor and plays a great role as the assassin in most movies.  As he says to all of you, he is top, quite literally, that being his stage name for BIGBANG, our band.  If you couldn't tell already, I have fallen quite hard for him.

And I love him.  I love him with everything I have in me.  I love him with all the dancing I do, all the singing I produce, every ounce of energy I put out, every bit of it, goes to him.  I strive to be great in his eyes.

As I said, if you love, you have reasons.  Here's my reasons: (I will only give you three because more would be like reading the bible.)

1.  The way he looks and sounds in the morning.

This is number one because this is the first thing I hear and see every morning.  Huge, long arms covered in a sweater wrapped around my torso and long, strong legs clothed in sweatpants tangled with mine.  His head laid upon my chest and his hair tickling my chin.  He'll stir as I run a hand through his hair and look up at me, a sleepy smile directed towards my face and a tired kiss placed at my jawline.  "Good morning Tae-Bae."  He'll then mumble, his deep voice not yet awaken fully either.  "Good morning Bingu."  I'll reply, making him grumble and hide his blushing face in my neck.  It's times like these when he's the most appealing to me.  When he's not dressed to impress and carved to perfection.  When he's not ready to be looked at or touched.  But, you can't say his perfection isn't appealing, either.

2.  When he is dressed to fit his image and sounds like a god on the microphone.

This, this right here, hits me in the pants every time.  If you didn't know, Seunghyun can go from bed-head-and-out-of-it to cut-clean-and-no-mistakes with just a shower.  That man is beautiful when he's dressed to make the world start turning like it depends on him.  I don't know how on Earth he does it but damn if it didn't make me need to take a trip to the bathroom, in which he follows to tease me about how bad of an example I am setting for carrying out such tasks (and ignores the fact that he follows to help me).  But I can't help it, he's just so damn perfect, I can't help but to think that just last night, his soft, untouched lips were wrapped around my and his perfectly styled hair was tangled in my fingers.  He just gets to me, and he knows it too.  You can tell by the way he opens the bathroom door to let the steam from the shower out, the way he swings the jacket around his body and slips his arms through, the way he makes pulls at the material as he makes sure it's in place, the way he takes the white cowboy hat and places it ever so gently on his head in the right position, the way he turns to the left, then right to check everything, and the way he walks out to me, standing in front of me and giving me a 360.  "Whatcha think?"  He asks, staring ever so intently at me, waiting for the reaction.  "Why do you even have to ask?"  I tell him, standing and pulling him back down on top of me in the armchair.

His voice seems to get deeper too, ier, if you must.  He's real serious about his onstage image, how he looks, what he does, how he sounds.  To you, his voice never changes.  But to you, that's his image.  When he raps, his voice flows and his purple eyes focus, finding exactly where to look, finding exactly what pitch to hit, finding exactly what time.  And you thought that he would have no fan boys.  "Try not to stare too hard, Bae."  I hear that deep voice say as I watched our last live performance of Bang Bang Bang, watching this video right before going to perform on Yoo Hee Yeol's Sketchbook.  His hand pat my shoulder knowingly before going to sit beside me.  This was my fifth time watching our live performance, this was the fifth time I've stared a little too hard and this is the fifth time I've been caught by my boyfriend.  "Your pink hair gets to me, Bae."  His breath tickled my ear and his voice low enough for only me.  I glanced over at his lap and realized that what he said was right, I got to him alright.  I then looked at the rest of him and realized this was reason number one once again.  His hair was tousled because of the hat and his voice wasn't of the professional T.O.P.  This was Seunghyun, flirting with me, not TOP.  And it made me feel some type of way, if you get the picture.  That, and the way his hand is up my shirt and pinching my .  The way his smile is pressed up against my neck and his tongue is teasing the little hairs that stand at attention.  The way he is, gets to me.

3.  When he's shy.

When Seunghyun is shy, you know.  When he's nervous, you know.  When he's scared, mad, excited; You.  Know.

Sitting here, in front of thousands of people and numerous cameras, you would think there would be no shyness or embarrassment; that this is normal.  Seunghyun is not one to be like that, TOP is a carefree man in the camera lens.  But there is always one point where every idol becomes shy, embarrassed, angry.  It’s just natural reactions to situations like these.

Seunghyun is a rapper; a deep-voiced, tall, serious rapper who fits his image.  Singing is not his forte but he does it once or twice in public to make fun of us members.  Daesung in Fantastic Baby, Seungri in Gotta Talk To You.  He loves to tease us but he very rarely sings seriously.  Sometimes when the members are gone and it’s just us, we’ll watch our live performances and he'll mumble the verses or choruses I sing, not really noticing he’s doing it.  But I don’t tell him I notice, because then he’d stop and I definitely don’t want him to stop.  He swears he can’t sing, but I know that if he tried, he’d be really good in his own way.

Making him sing on stage was a bad idea on their part but that didn’t stop the staff.  Each of the members sang in order, and it got down to none other than TOP himself, and, from where I was, you could see the panic in his eyes as his turn approached.  After I finished, he stared at me, begging me not to make him sing.  He missed his entrance, and I urged him on, singing a word or two to help him out.  He soon realized I couldn’t save him and he started singing.  But this isn’t the singing voice I know.  It was shaky, wary and forced.  He was stressing himself, compared to the times he walked through his villa in a bathrobe, singing out my chorus of Bae Bae.  He looked as if he was scared and worried, like it wouldn’t sound good enough.  But even though I knew it wasn’t his best, I also knew he was shy.  Seunghyun, right now, in this moment, was shy.  His cheeks were pink and his eyes turned to the ground with a smile on his face.  How desperate I was to want to hug him, to hold him, to pinch his cheeks, something.  Just to show him that he was cute.  He didn’t classify himself as a man who was cute or had a childish look to him, but I could pick out any feature, any trait in him.Something I liked to make sure he knew he possessed.  I wanted to kiss his blushing cheeks, tell him that he was the cutest thing next to Haru.  I wanted to tell him that it was okay and that he was doing so well.  But I couldn’t.  As the words flowed out of his mouth, he maintained a steady sound.  Unfortunately, as the next line began, he had to go up a pitch and he stopped, hanging his head in embarrassment.  I laughed and pat him on the back, letting him know it was okay.  How much I meant with that simple pat, you’d never know.

“Youngbae.”  Seunghyun groaned, his face buried in our pillows.

“What?”  I answered, sitting a bowl of ice cream on the night stand.  Hearing the glass bowl clink, he looked up, losing interest when his eyes met mine.

“Today was horrible.  I thought I was gonna die.”  He admitted, sitting up.  He grabbed the bowl, shoving a spoonful in his mouth.  “Why didn’t you save me?  Sing my line?  You know I can’t sing.  And did you hear me?  I sounded so bad!  Aish!  So embarrassing.”  He was pouting by the last line, his lips wrapped around the metal of the spoon.

I stared at him with my chin on my hand, laying across the bed.  When he looked over, he could tell how lovingly I was looking at him and he shoved my shoulder playfully.  “Yahh~  What is it?”  He laughed, watching as I laughed as well.

“Nothing, I just think you’re so cute when you’re shy.”  I smiled so lovingly towards him, even I could feel it; which only made him blush harder.

“You’re the one who’s supposed to be like this because of me.”  He mumbled and ate another spoonful, a grin breaking out around the utensil.  I smiled mischievously, climbing up and over him, making him start giggling like a little girl.  I laughed and took the bowl away, placing it beside the bed and going back to place both legs on either side of his hips.

“Tell me again who’s supposed to be where?”  I tempted him, bending down until our lips were inches apart.  “Answer wisely.”  I warned with a hiss.  You could see the fire burning in his eyes, wondering whether he wanted to test me or not.  But he decided on the latter.

“I wouldn’t change a thing.”  He stated lovingly, pushing his lips against mine.

“Damn right.”  I growled, grinding my hips against his.  His head fell back in bliss, hands reaching up to grip my biceps, mouth hanging open.  And I swear;  I just came up with reason number four.

~ ~

I deeply apologize. When I wrote this, no videos had been put up of TOP singing, there were only insta videos so I assumed everyone sang. But it was just TOP.

Of course, this story is fiction anyways, it still troubles me to know that I was wrong xD

But there. I admitted I was wrong xD

I hope you liked the story, thank you sooooo much for reading.

Saranghae :*