Krystal always loved the idea of traveling. She liked looking at maps and familiarizing herself where certain countries were and which side of their continent they were in. She kept a notebook where she wrote little notes about some countries that she wanted to visit when she gets the chance.

Coming from a well-off family, Krystal would travel with her family whenever she had a long break. They would usually go to the United States, since it is their second home, and other times they would travel to Europe.

“When I grow older, I’ll visit Paris again and go to these places.” Krystal shared while showing Seulgi a part of her notebook.

“Why didn’t you go to those places when you went to Paris last month with your family?” Seulgi asked while scratching her head. “I mean, you were already there! You should’ve made the most out of your trip.”

Krystal let out a soft chuckle and pinched Seulgi’s cheeks. “I could have went, but I wouldn’t want to go to these places if I’ll be with them. It would be a bit weird if I, the youngest in the family, would ask them to watch Moulin Rouge with me, you know.”

“Right,” Seulgi took the notebook from Krystal’s hands and skimmed through some of the pages. She was surprised to see that her friend has already written a lot and wondered, “Since you didn’t want to watch Moulin Rouge with your family, I’m guessing that you also have no plans on doing whatever’s written in here with them, too?”

“Pretty much, yeah.”

“Who do you want to be with when you do these then?” Seulgi asked while reading a page in the notebook about New Zealand. “I know you won’t have the guts to go skydiving alone in Auckland. Unless you’ll be a strong independent woman by then.”

Krystal kept quiet until Seulgi looked up to her. She glared at her friend when their eyes met. “Are you saying that I’m not strong and independent right now?”

“I was kidding, Jung Keul…” Seulgi nervously laughed while returning the notebook to Krystal, avoiding eye contact.

“Watch your mouth, Kang Seul~” Krystal laughed while looking at the pages of her notebook. “But to answer your question, I think I would like to travel with a friend. Maybe you. If you wanted to.”

Seulgi looked at Krystal and saw how her eyes were longing to travel to the places she has written in her notebook. Somehow, Seulgi felt like she wanted to see how her eyes would shine when Krystal gets the chance to travel on her own.

She didn’t respond to Krystal, but she made a mental promise that she would travel with her friend.

 

~

 

Seulgi was careful not to hit or damage anything in Krystal’s bedroom while she was setting up her surprise for the birthday girl. It was hard setting it up since she needed to move some of Krystal’s things for her to set up her gift. When she made enough space for her to move around and start her work, she went out and started to bring in her gift.

“What are you exactly hanging up on my sister’s wall again?” Jessica asked while she watched Seulgi carry a huge rolled up scroll to her sister’s bedroom. She was curious on what it was and she saw how careful the younger girl was handling it.

“Art,” Seulgi plainly replied.

“Don’t tell me that… it’s that kind of art?” Seulgi laughed when she saw the horrified look on Jessica’s face. She shook her head and asked for Jessica’s help as she sets up her gift for Krystal.

When she got into the bedroom, she rested the scroll on the floor and measured where she should place the peg on the wall with a meter stick. When she was satisfied with her measurements, she took out a nail and a hammer from the tool box that Jessica handed over to her earlier on. She had no idea how hammering works and during her first attempt to hit the nail, she accidentally hit her thumb.

“No wonder Krystal calls you stupid.” Jessica said while helping Seulgi tend to her thumb.

“Stupid, but sweet.” Seulgi answered back while kissing her thumb.

Jessica offered that she would hammer the nail on the wall and Seulgi just nodded. She watched the older Jung do it with ease. She started to open up the huge scroll and hanged it up on the wall as soon as Jessica was finished. Seulgi stepped back a bit to get a better view of her gift to check if it was hanged properly and symmetrically. She felt proud and smiled to herself.

Jessica followed suit and was in complete awe while she looked at the gift. “Hey, Seulgi. You are indeed stupid but sweet. Krystal would love this.”

 

~

 

While doing her homework, Seulgi was feeling a bit restless and tense while waiting for a message or call from the birthday girl.

No, she was restless and tense.

She didn’t make an effort to meet or even greet Krystal on her special day but she hoped that her surprise gift would make up for it. It’s not that she didn’t want to see the birthday girl, it just so happened that their schedules for the day didn’t match for the day and Seulgi already allotted her free time to set up her surprise gift.

When she thought she could wait a little longer for a message from the birthday girl, she couldn’t. She felt bad for not even greeting her and the thought of Krystal getting angry at her. Sure, maybe Krystal liked the surprise she had prepared for her, but Seulgi was sure and scared that Krystal would get mad if she didn’t make an effort to talk to her first.

Seulgi got her phone and sent a message to Krystal.

Keul.

As soon as Seulgi put her phone down, she was surprised to receive a message notification. It was from Krystal.

Open the door.

Seulgi quickly turned her head to look at her apartment door. She felt scared. Krystal went to her apartment late at night and who knows what the birthday girl would do to her. She slowly went to the door, mentally preparing what she wanted to say to Krystal.

Holding a deep breath, Seulgi unlocked the door and was quickly embraced by the birthday girl.

Seulgi was waiting for Krystal to say something, but nothing. Krystal just kept her hold on Seulgi and everything just felt right.

“Happy birthday.” Seulgi finally spoke.

Krystal loosened the hug and looked directly at Seulgi’s eyes. “I don’t know why you’re greeting me just now but you could’ve at least sent me a message earlier. I got a bit upset, you know.”

“I’m sorry. This stupid friend of yours isn’t thinking properly.”

“Stupid,” Krystal agreed. “But sweet. When I got home earlier, Jessica unnie told me that you were stupid but sweet. At first I couldn’t understand why she suddenly told me that, but when I went in my room, I couldn’t help but agree. I love your gift, Seul~”

Seulgi smiled in satisfaction. She recalls the trouble she had to go through finding a huge vintage world map just for Krystal. It was basically two things that Krystal loved that was combined into one. She loved collecting maps and vintage things so Seulgi thought getting a vintage map was the best gift she could give to Krystal. She also knew how the other girl was having a hard time looking for one and luckily she found a decent vintage map before her birthday.

“Since we can’t travel the world just yet, I thought that maybe I could give the world to you because you mean the world to me.” Seulgi saw Krystal giving her a questioning look. Did she not get what I just said? “You know, through the map… Since I gave you a world map it’s like I gave you the world and my feelings for you is as big as the world… Ugh, that was lame, I’m sorry.”

Seulgi covered her face with both of her hands, hiding her blush. She heard Krystal chuckle while she was mentally cursing at herself for doing a lame confession. She peeked between her fingers to see if Krystal was looking at her, and she saw the girl still laughing.

“I would tell you to stop laughing but since it is your birthday, I’ll let you be. I’m glad that I made you laugh and you liked my gift.” Seulgi walked back to her desk to fix her things.

While doing so, she felt Krystal’s arms wrap around her waist and Krystal’s head rested on her right shoulder. They already had this kind of skinship before, but for some reason this one felt different. It must be the lingering embarrassment she had after her lame confession, but her insides were feeling so mushy. She stopped what she was doing and tried to face Krystal, but the latter held her tightly. She felt Krystal’s hot breath on her right ear and she tried her best to keep her breathing steady. Krystal was too close.

“You didn’t have to explain, Seul. I totally got what you meant.” Krystal whispered into Seulgi’s ear. “I like you too.”

 

~

 

“I swear this is the third time we’ve been here. We’re going around in circles!” Seulgi exclaimed while she watched Krystal look around the area and her map. “We even got a map but we’re still lost.”

“Relax, Seul. It’s not like we’re going to die in here.” Krystal explained while looking at the map. “But to be honest, I’m not quite sure if we’ll get out of here any time soon. I’m not used to these kinds of maps.”

Seulgi took the map from Krystal and gave it a good look. She was feeling a little hopeless and scared that they wouldn’t get out. She wished she could just jump over the walls of this famous maze in Jeju Island, but Krystal stopped her with every attempt that she has done.

“I just want to go home, Keul.” Seulgi whined.

Krystal placed her arm around Seulgi and walked aimlessly inside the maze. “I’d rather be lost with you than be on track with someone else, Seul~”

She felt her breath hitch when Krystal told this to her. She didn’t know what to say and she kept her gaze on Krystal than the path that they were going through.

“Being with you… It feels like home.” Krystal added.

Seulgi stopped walking and this made Krystal stop too. The latter positioned herself in front of the former and held her on her shoulder.

“I know we’re lost now, but I promise in our next trips we won’t get lost. I promise.”

Hearing those words, Seulgi didn’t know what to say so she just nodded as a response. Krystal’s promise hit her in a way she couldn’t quite explain. She suddenly remembered the look Krystal had on her face when she saw her looking at her travel notebook a few years back.

This promise…

And her traveling dreams…

I must be with her.

A promise I can’t say verbally,

But a promise I will try to keep.

 

~

 

The view that greeted them when they went out of the door was one of the most refreshing views Seulgi has seen in her life. They were on top of Victoria Peak and they saw Hong Kong in a higher view which made them marvel the city’s beauty.

Krystal pulled Seulgi close to the railings and pointed at the building where they were staying. She took out a map of Hong Kong in one hand told Seulgi where they were and started to do a little lecture on where Wan Chai, Kowloon and the other places were. She also pointed out some other things that Seulgi didn’t really catch because she couldn’t look anywhere else but at the other girl. She saw how Krystal’s eyes beamed with excitement, happiness and content. Seulgi felt her heart melt at the sight.

She’s slowly checking off things in her notebook.

This was her first international trip with the girl, and she’s already looking forward to the next ones. After seeing Krystal’s eyes shine like that, she wouldn’t want to miss another moment with her when she travels.

 

~

 

Krystal poured red wine in Seulgi’s glass and she did the same with hers. She rubbed her hands together while waiting for her girlfriend to return from the restroom. They were at a restaurant just outside the Pantheon and they decided to take a break from walking around Rome. They were getting a bit tired and the weather was getting a little cold.

When Seulgi returned from the restroom, she sat at the chair across Krystal and took a sip of the red wine.

“Are we going to drink all of this?” Seulgi asked while holding the bottle of red wine. “Isn’t this too much for two people? And you know our alcohol capacity is…”

“It’s fine. We’ll be alright.” Krystal replied before taking her first sip. “Aside from taking a break, we’re using this to warm up ourselves too.”

While they were talking, Seulgi noticed how Krystal was occasionally blowing on her own hands and how she was rubbing her hands under the table. She stood up from her chair and pulled it beside the other girl. Krystal looked up at her and watched Seulgi take her left hand. The latter began to rub the former’s hand between hers. While Seulgi was sitting down on her chair, she gave a soft blow onto Krystal’s hands.

When Seulgi felt Krystal pulling her hand away from hers, she looked up at the other girl and saw her cheeks showing a shade of red. “You’re blushing,” Seulgi commented while holding tighter to Krystal’s hand and keeping it inside her coat pocket. She drank what’s left in her glass before pouring another round of red wine for the both of them. The bottle was already half empty.

“It’s just the wine.” Krystal defended while swirling the red wine in her glass.

Seulgi wanted to more, but she decided not to. She sat back on her seat and took sips from her glass every now and then. While they were talking, she held closely to Krystal’s hand that was in her coat pocket and rubbed the back of the other girl’s hand softly with her thumb. Krystal took out her map of Rome and started to study it a bit. She needed to find a short cut back to their hotel because it was getting too cold for her liking. Seulgi watched Krystal quietly and thought for a moment.

Never had she thought she’d be with Krystal like this, how they were right now just drinking wine in Rome. Sure, she imagined that she would go to places with Krystal but she always thought that they would be moving around a lot and joining group tours. They already traveled together around five times by now, and never did they join a group tour. Krystal traveled on her own pace. With how she knew every city they’ve been to even before they got there, one wouldn’t think that she was a tourist. It was like Krystal knew the place like she was a local. They never got lost, not even once.

She kept her promise.

“What are you thinking about?”

Seulgi looked at Krystal and gave her a smile. “You.”

“Are you already drunk?” Krystal laughed while taking a hold of the wine bottle and pouring themselves another glass. “Remind me not to buy this brand the next time we go wine drinking.”

“You’re asking me if I’m drunk, and yet you pour me another glass.” Seulgi said while drinking a third of what was just poured.

Krystal drank the same amount and poured whatever’s left in the wine bottle evenly to both of their glasses. “Well, we do need to finish this wine. We paid for the whole bottle.”

While Krystal was drinking her wine, Seulgi pulled out Krystal’s hand from her coat pocket and gave it a kiss. She positioned the back of Krystal’s hand over her cheek and she saw how the girl was blushing. With the cold weather, the wine and the touching, Krystal hid her face under her scarf so Seulgi won’t see her red face.

I guess I am a little tipsy.

They finished their wine and started to walk back to their hotel. Krystal still has half of her face covered with her scarf and Seulgi moved to Krystal’s other side. Now she has Krystal’s right hand on her hold and she placed it inside her coat pocket too.

 

~

 

Seulgi scrunched her eyebrows while looking at a decorative from the middle ages. She imagined the amount of work people from the past had to go through just to make art on a stone. It must have been tiring, Seulgi thought.

“Hey, Keul. Do you think those kings from the past would suddenly give rocks to whoever made these decorative art and go ‘Make something nice out of this. I’ll be putting it in my room.’?” Seulgi asked while keeping her eyes on the decorative art.

She wasn’t really expecting a reply from Krystal, but she was just waiting for the other girl to laugh at her joke or hit her somewhere for thinking such. But nothing. She didn’t hear her, she didn’t feel her. She hoped to see Krystal giving her a dead stare as she turned around, but the girl was nowhere in sight.

.

It wasn’t the first time she lost Krystal during their trip.

There were times when Krystal would gradually stray away from her and Seulgi didn’t mind this much as long as she can still see Krystal in her line of sight. It came to a point where Seulgi couldn’t see Krystal anymore, and she got scared. Luckily, she quickly found Krystal eating something peacefully at the corner of the street.

But this time was different.

She couldn’t keep an eye on Krystal because she got too engrossed with the pieces of art in front of her. When she thought Krystal was looking at the piece of art beside her, she wasn’t. Seulgi looked around her surroundings to see if Krystal was in sight, instead she saw a lot of people walking through the halls of the Louvre.

Seulgi was terrified.

 

~

 

It was late in the evening and the two of them sat quietly on the sidewalk while waiting for the Eiffel tower to show its flashy lights. After waiting for around twenty minutes, the Eiffel tower started to glow and Seulgi couldn’t help but look at it in awe. The tower by itself looked great at night, but seeing it shine gave it a whole different feeling.

As much as Seulgi wanted to look more at the tower, she couldn’t help but look at the other couples around her that started to cuddle when the Eiffel tower lit up. She then looked at Krystal, hoping that she would be looking at her too, but she wasn’t. Her eyes were locked on the tower and Seulgi saw her eyes shined brighter that what was in front of her.

Another thing off her notebook.

Seulgi wanted to cuddle with Krystal like what the other couples were doing, but she couldn’t find the heart to. She was relieved that she found Krystal inside the museum earlier but she felt bad for scolding her when she found her. She would be lying if she said that she wasn’t mad at the other girl, but she wouldn’t be mad if she didn’t worry for her. She really thought she lost the girl.

She didn’t want to admit it, but she felt like Krystal’s heart didn’t belong her anymore.

It belonged to the world.

 

~

 

“Where’s Krystal?” Sooyoung asked while helping Seulgi carry her things to her apartment.

“She’s probably in Abu Daba or something.” Seulgi replied uninterestingly.

Sooyoung tried to hold her laugh when she noticed how the younger girl slumped down on her bed. She got something from her and and handed the younger girl a piece of gum. Seulgi took the gum reluctantly, not really understanding why the older girl gave it to her.

“Did something happen between the two of you?”

She opened the piece of gum and placed it in .

Yes.

“Did you fight?”

She blew a bubble from her gum.

No.

“You got tired, didn’t you?”

Seulgi stopped chewing her gum and looked at Sooyoung. She saw the older girl giving her a sad smile and she pulled her into a hug. She sighed.

“It’s normal to get tired…” Sooyoung started. “Take that gum as an example. When you first eat it, it’s like you’ll never get tired of it. You’ll just chew and chew and chew, but later on your mouth would to get tired and that’s when you stop. Maybe Krystal isn’t done with her gum yet.”

Seulgi pulled herself away from the hug thought for a moment about what her unnie was trying to say. When she realized it, she gave a bitter laugh. “She’s definitely not done yet. She didn’t even stop me when I told her I won’t be following her anymore…”

Sooyoung didn’t know what to say and pulled Seulgi into another hug.

“She’ll come back.”

 

~

 

It’s been seven months since Seulgi last heard from Krystal. She would only know about the other girl’s whereabouts when Jessica would tell her that Krystal sent her another post card. She hasn’t received anything from the girl, not even a simple hello.

“She’s in Brazil.” Jessica announced.

“Has she said anything about coming back?” Seulgi asked while holding onto the post card.

Jessica shook her head. “I’ve been asking her that since you got back, but nothing. She would always avoid the question and change the topic.”

For a moment, Seulgi’s thoughts started going crazy, thinking that maybe Krystal already found another lover while she’s traveling and had no plans of coming back. She felt her heart sink at the thought, and the sad look on her face didn’t get unnoticed by Jessica.

“Don’t worry, I can assure you that she’s fine.”

 

~

 

After several months of waiting, there was nothing. Seulgi did her best to get connected with Krystal, wherever she may be in the world, but nothing. It has been a little over a year since they separated and she couldn’t believe how she’s still sane after all the sleepless and crazy nights just thinking about where in the world could the other girl be.

She sighed at the thought of Krystal.

She sighed as she lost hope.

She groggily went in her apartment after a long day at work and placed her bag on top of her desk. She changed her clothes and prepared for bed. It was yet another night when she would think about Krystal, wondering where the other girl was and how was she doing. Seulgi took out her phone and sent a message to the other girl.

Keul.

The first few messages that she used to send Krystal were long and filled with questions but Seulgi grew tired of asking since the other girl never replied. It came to a point when she wanted to stop sending messages, but she couldn’t. She still cared for the girl. She still made an effort every night to send a message, may it be a single sentence or just a short phrase, or it may be even just the other girl’s name. Even though Krystal never replied, Seulgi was sure that the other girl has read them. All of them. She always held on that little hope that Krystal would reply to her.

She was about to go to sleep when she heard her phone ring from a message notification. She took out her phone, thinking who would even message her at that time. When she saw the message preview on her phone’s lock screen, her heart stopped.

Open the door.

“Krystal?” Seulgi sat up from her bed and looked at her front door. She was in a daze. She was scared. The thought of Krystal standing at the other side of her front door made her nervous. It was too good to be true.

This is can’t be… I must be having those crazy dreams again.

Feels like déjà vu.

Seulgi tried to slap herself awake and she felt terrified because she wasn’t waking up. She was awake. She took hold of her phone and looked at the message once again. She slowly walked to the door and tried to think of what she would say to Krystal. It has been too long since they last met, and their last meeting wasn’t really a good one.

Not bothering to look at the peep hole, Seulgi cautiously opened the door and saw Krystal. The girl got a bit tan, thinner and there were dark circles under her eyes. When their eyes met, Seulgi saw how Krystal’s eyes looked at her longingly. She didn’t know what to say, she just looked at the other girl. She couldn’t believe that Krystal was right in front of her.

Krystal opened the door wider and wrapped Seulgi into a hug. She snuggled closely to the latter’s neck and took in her scent. “I missed you so much.”

Seulgi froze on her spot. She couldn’t believe what was happening. She couldn’t believe that Krystal went back. She couldn’t believe that Krystal suddenly showed up at her doorstep after receiving her first reply.

She suddenly removed Krystal’s hold from her and started to walk out of her apartment. She couldn’t think properly. Everything was too sudden and she didn’t expect this day to come. She needed to go out, she needed to breathe.

A tight grip on her wrist stopped her from moving. She didn’t bother looking at Krystal and she tried to shake off her hold.

“Let me go.”

“No.” A tighter hold.

“I said, let me go!”

“Not this time, Seulgi. Not ever again.”

Seulgi turned around to look at Krystal and saw that the latter’s eyes was close to tears. She just kept looking at her, not saying a single word. When she felt Krystal’s hold loosen, she turned her back but stopped when she heard Krystal talk.

“Remember what you told me before we parted ways in Munich?” Krystal started as she wiped off a tear at the corner of her eye. “What you said… It never left my mind when I was traveling.”

 

“I’m tired, Krystal.” Seulgi said while she packed her things before they travel to another country. “I don’t think I can keep up with this anymore.

Hearing her name and not her nickname made Krystal nervous. Seulgi was serious.

“I loved traveling with you, I really do, but I miss home.” Seulgi turned around to look at Krystal. “Don’t you miss home too?”

Krystal stared at Seulgi. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “Home?”

“I knew you were going to say that…” Seulgi gave a bitter smile. “I’m going home. Your choice if you want to go with me. I won’t force you. I know where your heart lies, and it belongs to the world. I have accepted that… I hope you’ll accept my choice of going home, too.”

Krystal watched Seulgi pack her things. She wanted to stop the girl, but she got too petrified after everything she just heard.

“Your heart may belong to the world, but home is where the heart is.”

 

The memories started to fill Seulgi’s mind while she watched Krystal slowly breaking down into tears. She hurt her, yes, but she loved her still.

“Home is where the heart is…” Krystal repeated after remembering what happened.

“It was fun traveling, but even if I knew the place, I kind of felt lost… I kept remembering what you said.” Krystal admitted. “My mind kept on repeating ‘Home is where the heart is’ and I felt a little pang on my heart each time. You also told me that my heart belonged to the world, but after allowing myself to get lost in the world… I didn’t know where my heart lied. It came to a point where I began to wander aimlessly around the world, going to airports and buying whichever available plane ticket that they had. I felt lost. I was lost. I used to ignore your messages but during that time, I waited eagerly for your messages. May it be a simple greeting or just my name, I felt… I felt relieved. Then I realized where I wanted to go. This lost soul wanted to go home.”

After hearing Krystal explain what happened to her after they parted ways, she knew the girl got tired. She was tired. Seulgi suddenly thought about the gum that her Sooyoung unnie gave her when she went back.

She finally finished her gum.

She pulled Krystal into a hug and told her that everything’s okay. She told the girl that she wasn’t mad anymore. She was glad that she came back.

Krystal pulled away from the hug and wiped her tears. She started to look for something inside her bag and she handed over her notebook to Seulgi. The latter was surprised to see that her notebook was still in one piece. Confused, she tried to return the notebook to its owner but Krystal motioned her to read it.

Carefully flipping through the pages, Seulgi saw how Krystal checked off everything that has written in her notebook. She was surprised that Krystal did everything that was written in a span of a year. Everything that she wanted to do around the world since she was 13, she did it all by the age of 28.

“You did it. You checked off everything.” Seulgi said without leaving her eyes on the notebook.

Krystal lightly shook her head. “Not everything.”

At the last page of the notebook, Seulgi was surprised to read the last thing that Krystal wanted to do. It was unchecked and it had her name on it. She looked up at Krystal and saw how the latter’s eyes were pleading her to say yes.

Go home… to Seulgi, it wrote.

Seulgi looked back at the notebook and she didn’t know what to say. She felt her heart skip a beat at the thought that to Krystal, she was home. She quickly moved to her desk and started to look for something. Krystal watched her with a trembling heart, she had no idea what the other girl was about to do. When Seulgi found what she needed, she went back to Krystal and held the notebook in front of her face. She took out the pen she just found and checked off the last thing in the notebook.

Krystal felt her heart jump and she couldn’t help but cry once again. Seulgi pulled her into a tight hug and she gently rubbed her back. She started to cry to.

“Welcome home, Krystal.”