Word Count: 4,675

Warning(s): Bad attempts at being funny. ualities that may confuse some people.

A/N: So, this was supposed to be less than 1k, but then I added details and feelings and it turned into this. Hopefully you guys like it and it doesn't too bad. Happy reading lovelies!

Yifan knows that he’s an idiot; who rides four stops past their street just to be on the same subway as someone who doesn’t even know you exist? Oh, that’s right, Yifan does. He’s not necessarily following this guy, he’s observing that the guy is not only attractive but he also lives four stops past Yifan on the subway in a pretty swanky neighborhood. He's also observed that cab fare is kind of a when you’re a broke waiter. Now though, he's observing Zitao glare daggers at him and send him looks of actual disgust.

“You mean to tell me that you stay on the subway for four more stops than necessary and take a cab back here just so you and this guy who probably doesn’t even know you exist I might add can be on the subway together for the same amount of time?” Tao asks him with a raised brow and he nods his head that is currently in Jongin’s lap while the younger pets through his hair sympathetically albeit a little distractedly due to his interest in some show on the television. “There’s no way I’m friends with such an idiot.” Tao says rolling his eyes and glaring at Yifan as he stands from the table.

“Why am I being called an idiot?” Yifan asks looking up at Tao who is now standing in front of the two glaring down at him even though he knows exactly why he's being called an idiot and that he most definitely deserves the title.

“And why are you blocking my view of the tv?” Jongin asks him with a pout and Tao sighs.

“Jongin, do you not care that our best friend is becoming a borderline stalker?” Tao asks him and he sighs dramatically and shuts off the tv behind Tao.

“I really didn’t, but since it’s just so important I guess I should.” Jongin says through Yifan's hair a little less distractedly but more annoyed than previously.

"He's basically stalking some poor stranger and you don't think he's an idiot?" Tao asks him and Jongin looks down at Yifan questioningly because apparently he hasn't been listening to Tao rant for the past fourty-five minutes.

"Are you really stalking someone Yifan?" Jongin asks him and Yifan rolls his eyes and sits up very narrowly missing hitting Jongin in the mouth with his forehead.

"I'm not stalking him, ok? I'm observing him. He's really pretty; something bad could happen to him while he's just walking home. What kind of citizen would I be to let someone who looks like him walk alone in the middle of the day? A bad one, that's what kind." Yifan says and both Jongin and Tao look at him disdainfully.

"Yeah, Tao's right, this is borderline stalker-ish." Jongin tells him and he glares at the two.

"Why don't you just introduce yourself to him? Say 'Hi my name is Yifan and I've been borderline stalking you for like three weeks, wanna get coffee sometime?' or something along those lines." Tao tells him and he gapes at him and closes and opens his mouth like a fish out of water a few times because how rude.

"First off, I wouldn't tell him that anyway, and secondly, it's not that easy." Yifan says settling his head back into Jongin's lap with a long suffering sigh.

"Just ask him out sometime! That's literally all you have to do, what is so hard about that?" Tao asks him moving his legs so that he can sit on the couch beside them and shakes his head but thankfully drops the subject. Yifan puts his legs in Tao's lap and Tao massages his calves and he thinks that even though his roommates are annoying, they're also pretty great, even if they do call him a stalker.

The next day, as he gets on the subway, he makes a resolve to go up to the cute guy and talk to him like a civilized human being, but when he does see the cute guy who smiles and waves at him, he just freezes in place for a second and then turns to look away from the guy and bolts to the back of the subway. He gets an earful about this when he ends up telling Zitao when he gets home even though he doesn't really mean to and he regrets it as soon as it comes out of his mouth.

“You what?! You idiot I don't even know what to do with you anymore. He was actually waving at you too?” Tao asks and he nods.

“Considering I was the only person in the very last seat on the subway, I'm pretty sure he was waving at me.” Tao yells at him until Jongin gets home and then yells at him even more.

The day after, he resigns to staring at the guy from afar, but he gets the shock of his life when the guy comes and sits beside him with a small smile on his face and imploring eyes.

“I'm Luhan and you're attractive and I know that you purposefully miss your stop just to get off at mine, so how about a cup of coffee for all of your trouble?” Luhan asks and his voice is heaven to Yifan's ears and he tries to figure out how to get his mouth to work, but when nothing but a sound between a cough and a choke comes out, he just nods his head. “Cute. There's this great coffee shop at the next stop and you don't even have to buy my drink; I know the owner so we'll get them free.” Luhan winks and Yifan smiles and eventually he stutters out his name to Luhan and Luhan smiles even brighter than before.

When they make it to the cafe Yifan has said all of two full sentences to Luhan, one being his name, but Luhan is still smiling at him and conversing with him and just generally being sweet even though Yifan's fumbling over his words and sounding like an idiot.

“You know,” Luhan says before they enter the cafe “I knew you were shy when you didn't talk to me for like two weeks, but I didn't think you were this shy.” And when Yifan blushes, Luhan smiles “It's really cute. You look like a supermodel but someone as plain as me makes you blush and stutter, I love it.” Luhan says and now Yifan's mouth decides it wants to work which is actually a great thing because he was a little worried that he'd started having some kind of mental breakdown or something.

“Plain? Are you kidding me? You're like one of the cutest guys I've seen in all of my twenty four years of living. I feel a little offensive at that jab at my type.” It's Luhans' turn to blush and stutter and Yifan smiles his, according to Tao, big dorky smile at him and leads him into the cafe with renowned confidence.

“Luhan! And some guy I've never seen before.” The tiny guy behind the counter says with a heart shaped smile that falters slightly when he looks at Yifan.

“Oh, Kyungsoo this is Yifan. Yifan this is my bestest friend ever who I love so dearly and would do anything for ever.” Luhan states batting his eyelashes at Kyungsoo who just rolls his eyes.

“You want free drinks.” Kyungsoo states more than asks and Luhan smiles wide.

“Well, if you insist.” Kyungsoo and Yifan both snort at this and Luhan chooses to ignore them completely. “You already know what I want, so what would you like Yifan?” Luhan turns to him and Yifan turns to look at the menu above Kyungsoo.

“I'll take a regular hot chocolate.” Yifan says, but before Kyungsoo can get set into action, Luhan cuts him off.

“That's boring, just give him something with a lot of sugar and whipped cream and candy. Don't hold back; go crazy.” Luhan tells him then leads Yifan to a seat in the middle of the cafe and Yifan shakes his head with a smile.

“What if I didn't like sweet things?” Yifan ask and, without batting an eyelash, Luhan counters him.

“You like me so that means you have to like sweet things.” Somewhere around them someone laughs loudly and then that someone is laughing right in Yifan's face and he startles while Luhan just glares at the person without any real heat behind the glare.

“First off, that was lame and secondly, you're the devil in disguise; there's nothing sweet about you other than your sweet tooth. Don't lie to this poor guy on the first date, it's impolite.” The guy says and Luhan sighs long and suffering.

“Hi Baekhyun, this is Yifan, Yifan this is Baekhyun and I'm sorry in advance.” Baekhyun looks at him and he's actually taken aback for a second as he tilts his head and examines Yifan's face.

“You're the guy we've been hearing about for the past two weeks? The borderline creepy one?” Luhan elbows Baekhyun in the ribs and he winces slightly while Yifan blushes and Tao's voice comes to mind for a second. “Dude, you didn't tell us he was so hot. Kyungsoo the guy Luhan's been talking about is actually hot. Like really hot.” Baekhyun says and Luhan looks at Yifan apologetically and Yifan stifles a laugh. Kyungsoo walks up and places their drinks in front of them and nods at Baekhyun.

“I know he is Baek. Also, I'm not really sure what this drink is or what it could be classified as, but you could probably go into a diabetic coma if you finish it, so proceed with caution.” Kyungsoo tells him and Yifan thinks that the other two are going to leave, but he's proven wrong as Kyungsoo just pulls up a chair while Baekhyun stays seated beside Yifan.

“So, you're hot; why are you interested in Luhan?” Baekhyun asks him and Luhan smacks his arm hard.

“Baekhyun, Luhan is hot too, but he has a point, Luhan seems too innocent for your taste, you look a little like a next generation mob boss.” Kyungsoo says and Yifan shrugs even though he is slightly offended. He knows he has the ultimate face but he doesn't need to be reminded that he looks like the son of a mob boss thank you very much. Luhan smiles and Yifan can see a mischievous glint in his eyes and he's already regretting whatever is about to come from Luhan's mouth.

“Maybe I want to be defiled by a second generation mob boss.” Luhan sends a wink his way and he blushes.

“Gross. And Soo, we're basically married, why don't you smile at me like that?” Baekhyun asks and Kyungsoo rolls his eyes at the other.

“We're not married.” Kyungsoo states monotonously.

“We're engaged.” Baekhyun says.

“No, we're not.” Kyungsoo says and Baekhyun huffs.

“We would be if you would propose already.” Baekhyun tells him and Yifan tries not to laugh but he almost can't help it because they sound so similar to Tao and Jongin when they have their couple fights and he laughs at them all the time.

“If anyone would propose to anyone, it would be Chanyeol to both of you. Where is your other third anyway?” Luhan asks sipping at his half empty drink.

“Who knows?” Baekhyun says with a shrug.

“Running late.” Kyungsoo says at the same time and Luhan laughs. The bell above the door dings and in walks a tall guy with silvery white hair and a smile on his face. He walks up to Baekhyun and kisses him then he does the same to Kyungsoo and they both smile up at him.

“Speak of the devil.” Luhan says and Baekhyun scoots closer to Yifan to make room for him.

“Where have you been?” Kyungsoo asks trying to sound upset but failing at it miserably.

“I was walking Jongdae's dogs for him.” The man – Chanyeol – says in explanation as he looks at Yifan and holds out his hand with a wide smile.

“Hey, I'm Chanyeol.” Chanyeol introduces himself and Yifan shakes his hand.

“Yifan.” Yifan says and Chanyeol retracts his hand with a smile before turning his attention back to Kyungsoo and Baekhyun.

“So, what did I miss?” Chanyeol asks and before Kyungsoo can even opens his mouth Baekhyun fills him in by loudly stating that “Luhan finally got a boyfriend.” A series of things happens at the same time; Yifan blushes, Luhan elbows Baekhyun again, and Chanyeol lets out a loud 'whoop' while Kyungsoo laughs at their expense.

“He's not even my boyfriend...yet.” Luhan states and Yifan is a grown man, why is he blushing like a school girl? They spend the rest of the evening talking, if talking includes embarrassing your best friend to the point where he grabs his guest and literally drags him out of the cafe with a small 'goodbye'.

“Your friends are lovely.” Yifan comments but Luhan can tell he doesn't mean it.

“They're a pain in the and they're far too affectionate for my taste.” Luhan says sticking his hands in his pockets. It has gotten a little chilly outside, so Yifan takes off his sweater and drapes it around Luhans' shoulders and Luhan rolls his eyes, but Yifan notices a pink tint to his cheeks.

“So they're...?” Yifan's not quite sure what to ask; he's never seen three people in a relationship together and he doesn't know what to label it. In fact, he didn't even know that a relationship like that existed in real life.

“They're in a polyamorous. Their entire relationship is kind of odd anyway to be honest; Baekhyun is panual which means he's attracted to all genders and non-genders, Kyungsoo is polyual which means that he's attracted to many genders but not necessarily all of them, and Chanyeol is gay which is pretty obvious.” Yifan tries not to show his confusion, but he can't really help it; none of this really makes any sense to him because he figured there were only like three ualities and to find out that there's more is mind blowing. He makes a mental note to do some research when he gets home later. They stop in front of an apartment building and Luhan turns to him. “Well, this is my spot. I had a great time today Yifan.” Luhan tells him and Yifan smiles.

“I did too.” Yifan finally starts to notice that the sky is already dark around them and when he looks at his phone, he sees that it's almost eleven o'clock. “Whoa, I didn't know it was this late.” He looks up at Luhan and sees that the distance between them is significantly smaller than it was before.

“Me either.” And Luhan is so close that Yifan feels his breath fan across his face. If the way Luhan is looking at him isn't a sign for Yifan to kiss him, he doesn't know what is. He leans down and he and Luhan's lips meet in a soft kiss. It's just a gentle peck because Yifan is a gentlemen, but when Yifan pulls back, Luhan grabs his neck and pulls him down to kiss him with fervor. When the need for oxygen became a little bit too much, Yifan pulled away breathing as heavily as Luhan.

“Luhan, I'm not sure we should do this.” Yifan wants this, God knows Yifan wants this, but he doesn't want to take advantage of Luhan and he doesn't want this to be a one time thing either. Call him cheesy, but he'd actually love to see Luhan again, and he's afraid that them going anywhere beyond a kiss will ruin his chances of that.

“I want this. I really do and I know that you're thinking you won't ever see me again, but it would take more to get rid of me than running away.” Luhan tells him and Yifan rolls his eyes and smiles as he leans down to kiss Luhan again.

When Yifan wakes up, it's to a kakao message and without looking, he already knows who it is. He sits up careful not to wake Luhan and rubs his eyes before opening the phone and reading the message.

HZTao: Are you dead? Me and Jongin need to know so we can take your bed if you are.

Yifan rolls his eyes before responding to the message.

YifanGalaxy: No I'm not dead you s, I just got caught up with something, and no you and Jongin can not have my bed!

KimJong: Why not?!!

Yifan can actually hear Jongin's whining through the message and he smiles fondly.

YifanGalaxy: Because I said no. I paid good money for that bed and I will not let you and Tao mess it up with your gross .

HZTao: Whatever. Where are you? We were worried sick!

Yifan rolls his eyes because he knows that the last thing those two were worried about yesterday was him.

YifanGalaxy: No you weren't and I told you, I got caught up.

Yifan looks over at Luhan who looks like an angel when he's sleeping, but he knows for a fact that the older man is anything but.

HZTao: You slept with him didn't you?

YifanGalaxy: …....

HZTao: You know that's real selfish of you because while you were having with a virtual stranger, we covered for you when your boss called and told her you were sick.

Tao sends an angry face emoticon and Yifan snorts out loud and regrets it when he feels Luhan stir in his sleep. Luhan blinks up at him and smiles softly almost amazed that Yifan is still there.

“Morning.” Luhan says and Yifan smiles back.

“Morning. How did you sleep?” Yifan asks and Luhan nods in response and stretches. The covers pool at his waist when he raises up and Yifan eyes the marks he made down Luhan's torso with interest. “You look like you were attacked.” Yifan says motioning to Luhan's chest and stomach. Luhan blushes but makes no move to cover himself as he leans over and kisses Yifan, morning breath and all.

“Well, if that was an attack, I'd love to be attacked again.” Luhan smirks at him and Yifan raises an eyebrow.

“So soon? I thought you'd be tired of screaming my name after last night.” Yifan smirks and Luhan rolls his eyes.

“Shut up and kiss me.” And Yifan does.

They fall into this routine of meeting each other everyday and going to the cafe. Yifan becomes good friends with Baekhyun, Kyungsoo, and Chanyeol, and it doesn't take long for him to get used to their relationship.

“So how did you three even happen?” Yifan asks one day as he watches the others have their usual everyday banter. Kyungsoo shrugs and looks at the others.

“They basically kidnapped me and forced me to join in on their relationship.” Kyungsoo explains and Baekhyun rolls his eyes.

“We did not!” He shouts indignantly and Kyungsoo shrugs again. “Long story short, me and Chanyeol met in middle school and became friends. In our senior year in high school we found out what feelings were and also found out that we had them for each other. We started dating and our freshman year in college we met Kyungsoo. Soon after we felt like something, or someone as cheesy as it sounds, was missing and realized that it was Kyungsoo. We then basically forced our relationship on him to be honest and asked him if he wanted to join in. Five years later, here we are in all our attractive lovely glory.” Baekhyun beams seemingly proud of himself and Kyungsoo snorts while Chanyeol laughs.

“So did you guys know you were poly before you were in this relationship together?” Yifans been wanting to ask them these questions for months but he never had the balls to do so until today.

“I didn't. I didn't even know what polyamorous or polyual was until I started doing some research. For the longest time we were just three people in a relationship without an actual label until we finally researched it.” Kyungsoo tells him and he nods.

“What about you two?” Yifan asks Baekhyun and Chanyeol.

“I think Baekhyun has always known and he's always been pretty comfortable with his ual identity, but I didn't really know. I thought that I was straight until Baekhyun came into my life and made me feel things.” Chanyeol explains and Kyungsoo scoffs again.

“Real intelligent wording there Yeol.” Kyungsoo tells him. The bell above the door dings and in walk a pissed off Tao and an irritated Jongin.

“How can I –” Tao glares at Baekhyun and Baekhyun stops mid-sentence.

“Where in the hell have you been? You haven't been home in three weeks.” Tao yells at him with his hand on his hip and Yifan can tell that Jongin is on his side fully.

“Um.” He says like the scholar he is and Tao rolls his eyes. The bell dings again and Luhan walks in with boxes filled with doughnuts for all of them to share. He spots Tao and Jongin standing and glaring at Yifan.

“Glad I brought extra doughnuts.” Luhan comments while he sits the doughnuts on the table in between them. “So, what's new?” He asks everyone surrounding the table smiling unrepentantly. Tao turns his glare onto him and sticks a finger in his chest.

“And you! How dare you steal our idiot roommate from us. Do you know how quiet it is in our house now that I have no one to yell at?” Tao asks in exasperation.

“And here I thought you actually missed me.” Yifan says and Tao rolls his eyes.

“Shut up, you know we love you. But seriously, who just stops showing up at home for three weeks? I was this close to filling a missing report.” Tao tells him.

“Then how did you find me here?” Yifan asks.

“We tracked your phone.” Jongin says nonchalantly and he and Tao look at Yifan with an obvious 'duh' written over their faces.

“I'm... not sure how to feel about that to be honest.” When Yifan looks at the others he sees they're all pretending to be absorbed in their doughnuts. Traitors.

“Explain.” Tao tells him and he shrugs.

“Sorry?” Yifan says because he really can't explain. Well, he can, but he'd rather not tell them that he's been spending every waking moment with Luhan because that makes him seem a little clingy.

“Ugh idiot. Now,” Tao turns to Baekhyun “Sorry for glaring at you.” Baekhyun smiles and shakes his head.

“No problem.” Baekhyun smiles and Yifan grabs a doughnut. When he looks up he finds six pairs of eyes on him and he feels a little unnerved.

“What?” He asks with doughnut in his mouth.

“Introduce us dummy.” Tao says and Yifan swallows his bite of doughnut.

“Tao, Jongin, these are my friends Kyungsoo, Baekhyun, and Chanyeol, and you already know Luhan. Baekhyun, Kyungsoo, Chanyeol, these are my roommates and best friends Tao and Jongin.” Yifan points them out to each other and Tao looks satisfied. Jongin's irritation at Yifan melts and he smiles at the others.

“Hey.” Jongin says flashing them his killer smile. Baekhyun looks at Yifan and without missing a beat says “How on earth are all three of you so attractive?” and Tao smiles smugly.

“Before Tao even says anything, who knows.” Yifan cuts Tao off swiftly and Tao sticks his tongue out at him.

“Doughnut?” Luhan offers Jongin a chocolate one and Tao a strawberry glazed one.

“How did you know these were our favorites?” Tao asks skeptically taking a bite of the doughnut.

“Because of Yifan.” Luhan and Yifan both smile triumphantly.

“Oh, whatever, don't go acting like you're worlds best friend, you still haven't been home in three weeks.” Tao grumbles as he plops down into a chair. Jongin takes a seat beside him and they all sit around the too small table and chat like friends that have known each other for years. When it's time for Kyungsoo to close up the cafe, Luhan and Yifan walk outside together.

“I know they're going to drag you back home. I know.” Luhan says before Yifan can even get the sentence out.

“I'll see you tomorrow though; we're still going to see that movie you wanted to see.” Yifan leans down and kisses Luhan, but he can tell that something is wrong when Luhan's kiss seems distracted. “What's wrong?” Yifan asks, worried that he may have done something. Luhan shakes his head and Yifan looks at him. “Don't say nothing is wrong. Tell me.” Yifan says and Luhan sighs.

“It's stupid.” Luhan kicks at the ground childishly and Yifan has to stop himself from smiling at him.

“Nothing that's bothering you is stupid. Talk to me.” Yifan says brushing Luhan's hair out of his eyes.

“It's just...when you introduced me to Tao and Jongin, it made me think; what are we Yifan?” Luhan asks and Yifan is confused.

“Boyfriends? Was I wrong in assuming we're dating or?” Yifan asks grasping Luhans hands.

“No, not at all. But why didn't you introduce me to them as your boyfriend?” Luhan asks still feeling slightly insecure. He's been used and broken before and he refuses to let it happen again, especially with how much he truly likes Yifan.

“Because Tao said if I called you my boyfriend one more time he'd body slam me and I know he could probably do it too.” Yifan says and Luhan smiles at him.

“You're so dumb. Why do I even like you?” Luhan asks and Yifan smiles.

“Because of my charming demeanor and killer smile obviously.” Luhan leans up and kisses him again before he starts walking in the direction of his house. Yifan grabs his hand and pulls him back gently. “Let me walk you home.” Yifan says and they start walking.

“And where do you think you're going?” Tao asks him and he continues walking.

“To walk my boyfriend home.” Yifan says and Tao scoffs and turns to Jongin.

“You know he's not coming back home tonight don't you?” Tao asks Jongin as he grasps his hand.

“Yeah, but that means we have the house to ourselves. We also have Yifan's bed. I say we take advantage of this rare opportunity and use his bed tonight for a little revenge.” Jongin says with a sly smile and Tao nods.

“I think you're right.” Tao says. He turns to the other three and smiles.

“It was nice meeting you guys, and we will be back, but right now we have to go get some revenge. Text us or something.” Tao says all while he and Jongin are walking away.

“Are we that bad?” Kyungsoo asks standing in between Baekhyun and Chanyeol.

“Well, we're three men in our ual prime who are very attracted to each other, so what do you think?” Baekhyun asks him and he can't do anything but agree.

“Well, since everyone else is getting laid, we might as well too.” Kyungsoo holds out his elbows for Chanyeol and Baekhyun to hook their own elbows around. “Shall we?” Kyungsoo asks and Chanyeol nods.

“We shall.”

A/N: Is this dumb? It's probably dumb right? Sorry, but anyway, for those of you who know that I'm a filthy liar and that 'it will be up soon' means 'I'll try to get it up in the next two weeks' and you stuck around for the story, you're awesome. Everyone else who subscribed is also awesome and I hope I didn't get your hopes up just to give you a craptastic story. Also, you see how I snuck Poly!Chanbaeksoo in there? Yeah, it was pretty awesome. To be honest, I based Baekhyun's uality off of myself as I am a polyamorous panual and I just added Kyungsoo and Chanyeols' ualities. Anyway, I'm going to sleep now because I'm exhausted and I have work in the morning, so I hope you lovelies enjoyed this and hopefully it made you laugh with just how bad it is. Have a great morning/afternoon/evening/night lovlies!