it was raining. sunday afternoon, taekwoon was in his black sweater and coat, his favorite boots, walking home from a walk to the store. the rain wasn't that hard so it was calming to walk even though he was having people who's protecting themselves from the rain staring at him when he passed them. he had no umbrella with him, but he was used to being soaked in the rain, especially when he didn't have his ipod with him. he rushed home and smiled to the thoughts of her when he stepped into his apartment.

he remembered when he used to hate going out when it’s raining, with or without umbrellas even when it was an emergency. he chose to stay at home, sitting beside his window with his hot coffee. after she came, they had always visited a cafe quite far from his place o get his favorite beverage, protecting themselves from the rain with taekwoon’s coat if he was wearing one or just rushed through the rain with her hands grabbing his and the wide smiles they both shared.

he opened the door after a struggle to press the passwords while having a plastic bag in hand, and greeted with a cat with white fur. milk, her collar said. she was staring at him from her laying position on the sofa. taekwoon put down the stuffs he had bought from the store to the floor, before jumping on the sofa to cuddle the ball of fluff. it was sojin, the one who told taekwoon to adopt the tiny litte cat about three years ago, but sojin took milk with her too often it was like she's the real owner. when they broke up, taekwoon gave up on the cat and gave her to sojin, but another week she gave her back.

their break up wasn't caused by a big problem. they realized that they were too busy for each other, and taekwoon thought that sojin's mother would never forgize him because of his bad first-impression to her. they broke up in a good way, they had thrown out their couple necklaces to a river and took their things from each other's homes.

sojin had been taekwoon's everything. her beautiful face, her eye smile, melodic laugh, her kindness to others, they had changed him to better. but it was over. she's not his anymore.

it was very painful for taekwoon, maybe for her, too, but taekwoon was at the point where he had quitted his job from being a painter because he was painting sojin too much for his co-workers to take him seriously. he was resting for a year, and came back when he thought he was wasting his life because of her. who knew, she could have been successful by that time. he started to search for jobs after he decided to sell the ring that was originally planned for proposing sojin.

sad memories turned to happy ones, he felt happy remembering the good moments also, but it was like he had none feelings for her anymore. besides, she would probably in another country, maybe she had a better like there, he shouldn't be thinking about her too much. meeting her after four years was almost impossible.

and he was wrong.

brown strands, perfect smile, beautiful- twinkling eyes were his thoughts when he had seen her. she surprised him when he was looking around a woman products shop, searching for a right present for his mother. she grinned at him, too wide it earned him a laugh from her when he realized he was smiling so wide as well. it had been a while, and she had never changed.

'what are you doing here?' she kept giggling uncontrollably, and taekwoon felt himself not being able to function properly.

'it's mom's birthday, so i thought i should buy her something nice?'
it took a while for taekwoon to realize that he was reffering his mom as if she's calling her mom also, like she used to. but sojin didn't look comfortable after he answered.
'oh, really?' he blinked twice as he saw sojin rushing to get some kind of a package. then she walked back to him, bringing the big box with products inside. wow, he didn't really plan on buying her that m-
'just give her this,” sojin said, flashing her sweet smile to him taekwoon pretended he wasn’t happy by it anymore.
he looked behind her, 'uh, okay? is that the cashier?'
sojin laughed then, 'yes, but i'm the owner of this shop so you don't have to.'
'are you serious?'

to be honest, he had always get reminded of her everytime he walked pass the shop. it was like her sweet scent was always there. he actually thought maybe that was the shop that she had been buying her perfume at, but it was brand new. at least, it was there after they broke up. now that he knew that she was the owner, he was right about her being succesful. sojin had been wanting to own a beauty clinic or a salon, but she got something better than them.

he wasn't feeling well after recieving the package, he refused it at first, but sojin kept saying that taekwoon should tell his mom that it's from sojin. and her customers, her staffs, were all staring at them, maybe when taekwoon left the customers would ask for free things as well. he thanked sojin. the woman smiled at him, 'it's been a while, taekwoon. do you want to visit my place?'

'that sounds fine. if you have time?'

'i should be the one asking that.' she said, making them both laugh. 'i will text you the address, okay? nice seeing you again.'

wait, text? sojin still had his number with her? and taekwoon was sure that sojin knew taekwoon would never forget about her apartment location even though he had never visited in years. maybe she had moved in. her house was too small and she kept complaining about it when they were still together, so he was sure that she did, moved out.

sojin was a friendly type. she's so nice, she always wanted to bring anyone to her home and treat them so well. the first day they had met, at the train station, sojin offered taekwoon some tea by coming to her apartment because the weather was chilly, and taekwoon didn't know that he was nodding at her. he used to have the thoughts of possibilities that could happen, like maybe she would poison him with the tea, and making him her slave, but he couldn't even think about any of them. he was too nervous about what to say and how to act like. when they dated, taekwoon had visited sojin without telling her and he found a man sitting on her sofa with popcorns and he laughed as he said to taekwoon that he was her ex. he wanted to get mad, of course, but the other guy didn't seem to even ply around wih sojin either. just casual friends. that's why its normal for sojin to ask him that.

it was weird. sure, he had actually come to think about her some times, not every time, just some kind of reminding himself that he had met such a wonderful person and had dated her for more than a year. happy memories, new experiences he had gone trough with her. but he had never feel sad anymore, and he never actually thought of missing her.

surprising, taekwoon thought, as he read sojin’s text message and feel nothing about it. no weird heartbeats, no panicking, but a little bit of happiness he felt his lips twitching to a smile. tuesday, five pm, okay!, it reads before the address. she really did moved out.

taekwoon didnt know whether to be excited or not about it.

he walked to the nearest cafe from his workplace. it was quiet late, he was worried if hongbin had fed milk properly this time, he still had so many projects to be done those few months, he kept losing his focus on walking because of thinking.

'taekwoon!' he heard his name being called, it was a familiar voice, but still a voice he hadnt heard from years long. when he turned around, he saw someone he used to know so well.

'hakyeon?'

seeing him made him happy. taekwoon had been thinking about work all day, and meeting an old friend was such a good thing. hakyeon was his best friend in high school, he had spent those three years being with him all the time. but hakyeon had to move out from the country, and they didn’t really talk after months emailing and hakyeon always had connection problems. taekwoon only wished him good luck there. the other man seem to be the same as the hakyeon he knew, all cheerful and smiling with all his teeth showing. the difference was just hakyeon looked like a bussiess-man, he looked so much wealthier and it kind of made taekwoon a little bit burden when he was only wearing his t-shirt with paint stains and a coat slightly covering it.

‘i miss you, man!’ hakyeon had almost shouted, and taekwoon felt the same. he never really had a day without hakyeon before.

“can you give me your phone number?” after he placed his cup on the table, he nodded to

hakyeon, having the other handing his phone to taekwoon and he typed his number.

they talked like old friends would do. how hakyeon graduated, his sister married an owner of a famous electronic company and hakyeon worked for him. taekwoon talked about how he had to paint a family potrait, and he had been getting so much headaches but he was actually fine. it was basically about the things they couldn’t say to one another those past years. taekwoon was glad hakyeon didn’t even seem to sass around about his occupation, how badly he dressed, because hakyeon was glad his friend’s dream came true. hakyeon’s dream was to be a dancer, it was a shame that he couldn’t folow his dreams because of family problems, but taekwoon could see that he’s living happily now so he needed to worry about nothing.

hakyeon mentioned something about his marriage in about three years ago, how he was sad he couldn’t inform taekwoon about it yet couldn’t make him attend.

“i thought wonsik knew your address so i told him to send an invitation for you.” hakyeon also told taekwoon that he had sent an airplane ticket for him, and taekwoon remembered about his phonecall with his mum about it.

“to my old house?” taekwoon felt sad after, “i’m sorry.”

but hakyeon widely smiled to him once again, “it’s fine!” he said, “at least we’re together now.”

it made taekwoon laugh. “you say that so weirdly.”

“but its true!” he said, a bit louder than before but he laughed as well. “besides, the airplane ticket wasn’t that expensive.”

after a few hours, taekwoon told hakyeon that he still had so many things to do at work and hakyeon ‘ohh, a busy man!’ (taekwoon thought he had changed!) and he bid goodbye with his lips not being able to form a thin line, he always found himself smiling and maybe it would last until the next day.

it turned to a frown when he remembered about the meeting with sojin.

tuesday, three pm.

he skipped work because he knew he wouln’t do anything more than thinking about the visit. he chose to take care of milk and trying to lose his nervousness. it was going to be okay, he told himself. he was going to have tea and maybe some foods and maybe sojin would cook him his favorite foods-

four pm.

he was running out of shampoo, he had to run to the shop near his apartment to buy some. he panicked too much he didn’t remember that he was also going to buy milk some snacks, maybe he should buy after he got home

five pm.

he was sitting on his couch, milk was sleeping peacefully on his lap. he was going to get up and go, but something prevented him, and it’s not even the white feline.

it was five twenty.

he broke down completely. he didn’t know why he was like that, he completely ignored sojin’s texts and calls and it stopped after a few minute.

when he decided to get up, he thought about an excuse for being late, and hakyeon called him. it was the second call from their first meeting.
“taekwoon, can you come visit my house? my wife is waiting for a friend to come but he never really seem to come. she had prepared so many things.” taekwoon felt bad. he was in a situation where he should choose his best friend or his-ex-but-also-friend.

he had promised sojin. they had planned it from a week before, he could not dissapoint sojin like that. he rejected hakyeon’s offer and promised him another time. he was glad hakyeon was not some friend who got butthurt over things. he used to be, but maybe he had lost the atittude.

it took taekwoon twenty minutes to arrive. it was almost six, he knew he was so late, but sojin had been so forgiving. he smiled at the thought of her greeting him warmly, not because of any weird feelings.

“taekwoon? i didnt know you know where i live?” he saw hakyeon who was sitting at the front house. did taekwoon mistook his address with hakyeon? hakyeon had never sent him his address before, the only person that had done it was sojin.

“darling, my old friend is here!” he shouted to the back then, hakyeon walked closer to pat his shoulder. taekwoon was thinking too much about how he might visited the wrong address, and then sojin would get so dissapointed at him. but it all stopped when he saw the brown haired figure walking towards them.

“taekwoon?”

the same reaction as hakyeon, and now he knew that he had visited the right place. but he felt wrong doing so.

“what, so you guys dated before?” hakyeon said, between his munches. “taekwoon! how come you never told her about me!”

“i did, but i never really mention your name.”

sojin smiled, remembering the memories of taekwoon talking about his old friends. “he used to mention you as that annoying friend but still lovely.”

“that’s why the quiet-guy who loved cats seem familiar to my ears” ah, sojin had to talk about her exes and he understood why.

“you never really want me to mention my ex names.”

it was still unbelievable. they were married. taekwoon never really did everything he had planned to do. going around her house, complimenting everything, drink and eat everything she had given her, instead he made an excuse of being full from the food he ate before coming.

hakyeon and sojin. his best friend and his ex.

“hajinnie!” hakyeon shouted then, a little girl coming out from a bedroom near the dining room, seeming to just woke up from a nap.

“greet uncle taekwoon nicely~”

taekwoon smiled at the child who was bowing at him cutely, he came to pat her head softly. he had never thought they had a daughter. he had never thought they were living a good life. he had never thought, sojin, sojin-

“its surprising that i can still read you like a book even though time has passed.”

hakyeon was busy trying to feed hajin in the kitchen, taekwoon made an excuse to the bathroom and came back to sit with sojin on the couch. taekwoon was surprised by her sentence, he thought she never wanted to bring up anything related to their relationship anymore.

“its okay to bring up the past.” she whispered.

to be honest, he was extremely sad. he didn’t expect anything like that to happen. Hakyeon was his best friend, sojin was only an ex lover, he should be happy for them. he never thought of them marrying each other. maybe hakyeon was old enough for him to marry, taekwoon too, but not for sojin. sojin was in the age where it’s not a problem to not be married so he wasn’t thinking of any possibilities.

he then thought about his phone call with hakyeon that evening- he was mentioning about his own situation, he talked about how sojin had prepared everything but taekwoon didn’t seem to come. sojin was upset. taekwoon should have realized sooner.

“how are you after we... broke up?”

she then looked away, not wanting to see taekwoo’s face as she started to speak. “i was sad. i got so emotional easily. my mom told me to go anywhere else to start focusing on my career. i went overseas, worked there, and i met hakyeon.”

taekwoon listened as his eyes wandered the wall. sojin’s graduation photo, hakyeon’s graduation photo, hakyeon maybe with his collagues, hajin when she was still a baby and their wedding picture was the most eye-catching and the largest picture hanging there.  “he was sweet, he was always there for me. i thought, i need to marry someone, and i was the one who asked him to propose me. i loved him, of course, he was the one who succesfully made me happy.”

he was hurt after. why was he hurt?

“i was the same, but for now, i’m your opposite.”

and that’s enough for sojin to understand. “i thought you weren’t here anymore. we moved out to here a month ago, and it was unexpected to meet you.”

“i guess this is how destiny works.” taekwoon’s words were also turned to whispers, “you and hakyeon are a couple.” but taekwoon cracked a smile, a sincere smile, and sojin noticed.

“i’m still glad you’re at least, happy for us.”

taekwoon nodded. he could finally feel a little bit of happiness. “thank you, taekwoon.”

he knew why he was hurt. sojin was sad, but she had found her own success, she was all better, she was so happy, she had a family the way she had dreamed, a large house, and a nice husband. taekwoon? what did he have? the only precious one for taekwoon was milk and his family, he had been working the same thing for five years, his place remained the same. he was jealous, hurt, because she couldn’t be the one that made taekwoon happy. but he knew he shouldn’t feel that way.

he decided to ask one more question.

“when we were... together, were you... happy?” he asked, despite those flashbacks about sojin seem to be loving him with all the best that she could give to him, despite those sweet smiles, little kisses, love confessions, he remembered it all. he knew she wasn’t the type to act all those things, why should she act when she got nothing to recieve from taekwoon? he wanted to make sure.

“yes... of course i was, taekwoon.”

it was making him better.

he bid them goodbye after a late dinner with jjajangmyeon and tv shows, hakyeon brought up his promise of visiting again and taekwoon felt good about saying ‘yes.’ to him. it was all cleared up now. when he left the last view he got was hakyeon and sojin standing beside each other at the door, hand on her hips as sojin waved him goodbye with a sweet smile on her face.

he smiled when he thought about the hand grabbing, hakyeon’s back hugs to her, their kissings in front of taekwoon. he found himself grinning at the thoughts.

sojin’s last words to him, please be happier than you are, now!.

he smiled at the memory. he would do anything to make it become true.

and of course, he needed a new her, too.

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someone pls teach me how not to be irrelevant