Foreword:

 

"I'm leaving."

 

Two words. Two words that made so many fans brokenhearted. Two words that ruined our family. Two words that proved "We are NOT one." Two words that scares us the most. Two words that stole three of my friendss. And now, two words that's stealing my bestfriend.

 

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This will be my first story here. I hope everyone will like it. Thank you for reading this! Annyeong!

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Kim Jongdae's POV

 

"Umin-Hyuuuuung."

 

"Neeeeeee?"

 

"Haha. Nothing. I just feel like calling you."

 

"Jongdae-yaaaa."

 

"Ne?"

 

"Hahaha. Nothing. I just feel like calling you too."

 

"Hahaha. You're stealing my line hyung."

 

"Do I? Hahaha."

 

"Do you have no plans of going to sleep hyung? It's a bit late."

 

"I think after reading this."

 

He showed me the book he's currently reading. If there is one thing others don't know, Minseok-hyung loves to read novels before going to sleep. One thing that I'm amazed about this habit of him is he's finishing the whole novel before he sleeps. And I mean, the WHOLE book. But of course, only when we have no schedule. Other members doesn't know about this. He doesn't want them to worry for not sleeping early. I, once, told him to sleep instead of doing something that can be done in the morning. But he just smiled and went back to reading.

 

That's what I love about Minseok-hyung. His stubbornness. Everytime we're stopping him from doing something, he gets mad. But not with me. At first, yes, but maybe he was so used now with me nagging him, that everytime I stop him, he'll just smile and continue what he was doing.

 

We are really so close. We're more than a bestfriend to each other. Maybe because we decided to get close for fan service, because they have this thing called "OTP" where they partner us from other members like me being partnered to Umin-hyung. Haha. I really find it cute and weird at the same time. And also, maybe we became closer because we share the same room. He really have his own room but because of "the incidents", he said he doesn't want to stay alone because he just misses "them". But during our trainee days, we are really close even before our group debuted.

 

"Okay hyung. Don't sleep too late. Your eyes might get hurt."

 

"Okay! Goodnight my dearest dongsaeng."

 

"Goodnight hyung."

 

ㅡㅡㅡㅡ

 

We are here now rehearsing for our Tokyo Dome concert. Everyone is busy taking their break while I decided to practice more our steps. I'm Chensing machine, right? Haha.

 

Hmm. Is it me or there's something wrong with the stage? It feels a little shaky. Or maybe it's just because I'm starving now. Maybe I shou-

 

"Jongdae!!!"

 

Ouch. My head. What the. What just happened?

 

I opened my eyes and was shocked to see I'm meters away from where I'm standing a while ago. Did someone pushed me? I turned to my right and saw Umin-hyung shaking his head.

 

"YA! JONGDAE-YA! STOP SPACING OUT! YOU COULD HAVE DIED THERE!"

 

Eh?!

 

"H-hyung. I don't understand. And stop shouting please."

 

"Aish! KIM JONGDAE!"

 

He pointed somewhere. The place where I'm practicing moments ago. What the?!

 

"W-what happened? Why did that collapsed?"

 

"I should be the one asking you! Why are you spacing out?! We've been calling you for so many times!"

 

"I-I'm not. Earphones."

 

"Tsk. Stupid earphones!"

 

This is the second time that he shouted at me like that. I can tell he's really mad.

 

"H-hyung. I-I'm sorry. I really did not he-"

 

"Shut up."

 

"H-hyung."

 

I don't know why but my tears keep falling from my eyes, and it won't stop.

 

"Aish!"

 

He went beside me and removed the dusts on my shirt using his hands.

 

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to shout. I was just.... so scared. We almost lost you. I almost lost my bestfriend. You see, you could have died there. I'm sorry. Are you hurt somewhere?"

 

I shook my head. Actually I feel a little dizzy but it's slowly disappearing now.

 

He brushed my tears away using his hands and helped me to stand up.

 

"What about you hyung. Did you get hurt?"

 

"No. Jongdae-ya. Please be careful next time. Could you do that for me? Stop being so reckless. What if I wasn't there to save you again?"

 

"I'm really sorry hyung."

 

"Atleast your safe. Come on, let's get out of here."

 

I noticed a bruise on his left arm. It's not that big but it's bleeding.

 

"Hyung, your arm."

 

"I'm fine. Let's go."

 

He saved me..... again. He's always there when something happens to me. The first one was when I got so depressed when we were still a trainee. I was so tired training. I know it's not enough, plus, I missed home so much. I got so depressed that I thought killing myself would be my only option.

 

Yes. I thought of killing myself before. But he helped me, Minseok-hyung helped me. He saw me trying to overdose myself. He got mad. Really mad. 

 

************flashback************

 

"WHAT THE HECK WERE YOU THINKING?!"

 

I don't know what to say. I feel ashamed. It's as if he caught me stealing. But killing myself is way way severe than stealing right?

 

"You could just tell us what your problem is. Not dealing it with yourself and thinking of such a crazy idea. You've been training for only months, compared to others."

 

"I'm just tired hyung. Everything is a mess. I am a mess. I can't and won't be an artist."

 

"Yes. You are a mess... right now. Look at yourself! Trying to overdose yourself just because you failed? What kind of a person would think that way?"

 

I don't know what to say anymore. 

 

"Jongdae-ya. Could you promise me something?"

 

"Only if you'll promise me you won't tell anyone what happened here."

 

"Pabo-ya. Of course not. You will be kicked-out once they knew about this."

 

"Thanks hyung."

 

"Don't thank me. Promise me... that whatever happens, you won't think of such a reckless idea like this again. Okay? I know you'll be an artist. It could be after a month or so but I know you'll be. You'll make it."

 

"Thank you hyung. Can I ask another favor from you?"

 

"Sure."

 

"I have my own brother but I really want to be your dongsaeng, your younger brother, even after our training, or if we're lucky enough, I want to be your dongsaeng even after you or we debut."

 

"Pabo Kim Jongdae. Even if you don't ask, you are really my dongsaeng. I'm older than you, remember?"

 

"But.."

 

"Nah... I'm just kidding. Haha. I know what you're trying to say. Of course!"

 

"Really? I'll be your forever dongsaeng, that's fine with you?"

 

"Jongdae, There is no such thing as forever, but let's live together for a long, long time. Okay? Stop being so suicidal. I won't always be by your side to stop you from doing such thing."

 

"I am really sorry. And I promise! This will be the first and last."

 

"Very good. Haha. Let's go."

 

************end of flashback************

 

ㅡㅡㅡㅡ

 

"Hyung! What's up? What's with the meeting?" Chanyeol asked.

 

Umin-hyung called us to tell something so we are all here gathered in the sala. We are all clueless right now.

 

I don't know why, but I'm nervous. Since this morning, while we are eating our breakfast, after telling us that he'll meet us all in the sala for some announcement after our breakfast, there are so many things that's been running on my mind.

 

Minseok-hyung is really acting weird these past few days. Everyone knows he's a type of person who doesn't talk much, but he become more quiet. I don't know if I'm the only one noticing this but if there's something that I'm sure others are not aware of, is that, hyung has been crying himself to sleep for I guess about a week now.

 

I first noticed this after being awake after hearing someone sobbing. I looked at Umin-hyung's bed and there I saw him sitting and using his hands as a handkerchief to wipe his tears. 

 

I thought he just had some nightmare so I decided to comfort him but before I even get my blankets off of me, I heard him saying,

 

"I can't. I don't know what to do anymore. But I really can't."

 

So I decided to let him have his time. But after having the same situation the night after, and after, and after, I become so curious. There's something wrong with hyung but he's not telling us anything. Will he tell us now what's bugging him?

 

"I haven't told anything to the management because I know you guys deserve to know first. The management doesn't know about this but I already made up my mind. I- I am really sorry guys..... but.... I'm leaving."

 

"Yeah we know. Going to meet 'Ariel the mermaid' again. Hahahahaha." Baekhyun joked. 

 

Everyone laughed. Except me. I knew it. This is the only thing I know he would tell us.

 

"I'm so sorry."

 

After Minseok-hyung said those three words. Everyone became quiet. The atmosphere is so heavy that I can feel myself having hard time breathing.

 

I decided to stand up and just leave them. I can't stand hearing his f^cking excuses. What? He'll leave us too? Wow. Just wow.

 

"Jongdae. Please hear me out first." 

 

He grabbed my hand and tried stopping me from walking away.

 

"Don't touch me............ Liar."

 

Rude. Selfish. Disrespectful. Name it. I don't care. No one can understand what I'm feeling right now. Of all the people, why him?

 

I can see everyone's shocked expressions. Especially his'. I left them flabbergasted and just went up to MY room. Yeah MY room, this will be MY room from now on. 

 

I heard Kyungsoo before I closed the door.

 

"Follow him hyung. We can wait."

 

He's a liar. A complete f^cking liar. I'm starting to regret calling him my hyung and making him my brother, my bestfriend.

 

"Aren't you going to let me explain first?"

 

I ignored him and just grabbed my earphones so that he'll know that I won't listen to him.

 

But the truth is, there's no music. I just plugged in my earphones so that he'll thought I won't hear him and just decides to leave me alone.

 

But he stayed. Just like everytime I need him. He chooses to stay.

 

I'm trying to stop myself from crying. He can't see me crying. I can't let him see me crying.

 

"I'm sorry Jongdae. I-I don't want to leave you guys, especially you. You've been my younger brother that I never had.

 

It's hard for me to make this decision. But it's harder for me seeing you like this.

 

I know you're angry because I'm breaking our promise to our dear fans but I ju-"

 

I cut him. I thought after he says all his excuses, he'll leave, but I have to cut him off.

 

"WHAT? YOU THINK I'M ACTING LIKE THIS BECAUSE I'M SCARED OF LOSING OUR FANS' TRUSTS AGAIN? BECAUSE I'M SCARED TO SEE MANY FANS LEAVING US AGAIN?

 

MINSEOK-HYUNG!! FOR YOUR INFORMATION, I'M HUMAN TOO! I GET HURT. I FEEL PAIN.

 

FOR ONCE, CAN'T I JUST BE SELFISH AND FORGET WHAT WILL OUR FANS FEEL? FOR ONCE, CAN'T I LET MYSELF CRY, GET MAD, AND BE WEAK JUST BECAUSE THE CLOSEST MEMBER, MY HYUNG, my bestfriend.... is leaving me too? Can't I?"

 

And that's my cue to release the tears that's been trying to get out for almost half an hour.

 

"I-I don't want you to go hyung. You.... you were the only one who was there when I need someone. The o-only one who understands me. You've been there for me on my weakest link, on my greatest moments. Can't I be the reason to make you stay? I'm begging hyung. Please don't leave me."

 

He hugged me and I can feel his crying too.

 

"I'm sorry."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Leave."

 

"Jongdae-ya."

 

"I SAID LEAVE!"

 

I pushed him hard. I know I'm hurting him, but he's hurting me too so I guess it's just fair.

 

I locked the door and cried and cried until I can feel my eyes getting heavy.

 

"Minseok-hyung, don't go."

 

Then everything went black.

 

ㅡㅡㅡㅡ

 

I woke up feeling tired. I guess from crying. I know it wasn't just a dream. Though I'm praying hard to make it just a horrible nightmare, but the heavy feeling inside ... is bringing me back to reality.

 

Iwent downstairs to ease my thirst. The dorm is so quiet that I can hear my own breathing. I grabbed some water and drank it. I'm starting to get deaf from this silence so I decided to look for everyone.

 

"Kyungsoo-ya? Sehun-ah? Where are you guys??"

 

"Junmyeon-hyung?"

 

I still don't get any response.

 

That's weird. We have no schedule for today.

 

*kring kring*

 

I heard my phone ringing so I went back to my room.

 

Kai?

 

"Hello Kai?! Where are you guys? Why did you left me here alone? You shou- Kai?"

 

I am 100% sure I heard him sobbing.

 

"Kai, I asked you! Where are you? Are you crying? What's happening?"

 

"Hyung...."

 

Why does my heart beating fast? Why am I even nervous?

 

"F^ck Kai! Speak up! You're scaring the sh^t out of me. Stop crying!"

 

"Hyung.... Mi..... Minseok-hyung... h-he's..... h-he's dead."

 

"That's not a good joke Kai, you know that. Where are you really?"

 

"Where here in **** hospital. Minseok-hyung got into a car accident. He's... h-he's gone."

 

"I told you to stop, didn't I?"

 

But his sobbing gets more louder, which makes me beli- what the?! Why would I believe him? 

 

Argghhh!! Stop!! Why am I even crying. That's.... that's not true! I know. That's not true.

 

I the television in our room so I can hear other noise so I could stop thinking too much.

 

"EXO's Xiumin was involved in a car accident this afternoon. Police report said that the road was too slippery that made the artist's car out of control."

 

My eyes were just fixed on the screen. This can't be true. I tried changing the channels but all I can see is the same news.

 

"Everyone is mourning this afternoon after EXO's Xiumin died from a tragic accident. H-"

 

"The managment of the said boy group hasn't released any statements yet. The-"

 

"The family, his co-members and some staff including the former CEO of SM Entertainment, Lee Soo Man are now inside the hospital. Media and they're fans are waiting outside the hospital. We can hear their sobs and see the pain they're feeling right now. Fans all throughout the world are mourning for the loss of their beloved idol. Artists from different management are extending their deepest condolences in their SNS. It-"

 

I... this can't... this is just a nightmare.... this has to be a nightmare... I'm dreaming.... this can't be happening.... Hyung.

 

ㅡㅡㅡㅡ

Third person's POV

 

"Minseok-hyung. My hyung who is always there, needed or not. The one who makes me miss home less. He's been there for me for the past 5 years of my life. Taking care of me as if I'm his biological younger brother. And I'll be forever thankful to God for letting me meet Umin-Hyung.

 

Hyung. You... you lied again. Did you forget what you told me 4 years ago? Did you forget the promise you made for us that we'll live for a very long, long time together? It's only 4 years passed, how could you break that promise so early? Before you left that day, you should've insisted on talking to me rather than giving up.

 

But I'm still blaming myself from what happened. If only I listened. Of only I gave you the chance to explain everything, you wouldn't leave that door. I wouldn't be giving you my eulogy this early. If only....... I'm sorry hyung. I love you, my dearest hyung."

 

After giving his eulogy, Jongdae went to the piano and Chanyeol stood up to do his part. When Jongdae played the intro of the song, everyone started crying again. Except for Jongdae who didn't shed a tear since he saw his bestfriend's lifeless body in the hospital.

 

It's been a long day

 

without you, my friend

 

And I'll tell you all about it

 

when I see you again

 

We've come a long way

 

from where we began

 

Oh, I'll tell you all about it

 

when I see you again

 

When I see you again

 

Chanyeol is preparing for the rap part when a familiar voice rapped instead of Chanyeol.

 

Damn, who knew all the planes we flew

 

The things we've been through

 

That I'd be standing right here talking to you

 

'bout another path,

 

I know we'd love to hit the road and laugh

 

but something told me that it wouldnt last

 

had to switch up look at things different see the bigger picture

 

It was Kris. He was with Luhan and Tao but the latters wasn't strong enough to handle their emotions unlike Kris. Junmyeon stood up and went to Luhan and Tao to hugged them since Kris was rapping. This made the people cry harder including Jongdae.

 

Those were the days hard work forever pays

 

Now I see you in a better place

 

How can we not talk about family when families all that we got?

 

everything i went through you were standing there by my side

 

and now you gonna be with me for the last ride

 

It's been a long day

 

without you, my friend

 

And I'll tell you all about it

 

when I see you again

 

We've come a long way

 

from where we began

 

Oh, I'll tell you all about it

 

when I see you again

 

When I see you again

 

Hyung. Can you see this? Are you watching us now?

 

First, you both go out your way

 

And the vibe is feeling strong

 

And what's small turned to a friendship

 

A friendship turned to a bond

 

And that bond will never be broken

 

The love will never get lost

 

And when brotherhood come first

 

Then the line will never be crossed

 

Established it on our own

 

When that line had to be drawn

 

And that line is what we reached

 

So remember me when I'm gone

 

How could we not talk about family when family's all that we got?

 

Everything I went through you were standing there by my side

 

And now you gonna be with me for the last ride

 

So let the light guide your way

 

Hold every memory as you go

 

And every road you take

 

will always lead you home

 

Home

 

Minseok hyung. We are complete again. And it's not fair that you are not here to witness this precious moment. And it's killing us to be complete in this kind of event.

 

It's been a long day

 

without you, my friend

 

And I'll tell you all about it

 

when I see you again

 

We've come a long way

 

from where we began

 

Oh, I'll tell you all about it

 

Wait for me okay? I have so many things to tell you.

 

when I see you again

 

When I see you again

 

When I see you again

 

I promise I'll tell everything about Kris, Luhan and Tao. I promise.

 

See you again

 

Until I see you again, Hyung.

 

When I see you again.

 

****end****