‘Sometimes you just have to know when to back away’ he said to himself. He took his knife and held it strong in his hand. His cries were getting stronger and uncontrollable. He started screaming in despair while stabbing himself with his knife. His visions became blurry; his breath became short and hurried yet his tears still streamed down his cheeks. Until he met a point where he can’t see anything anymore, when his hands stops functioning and where his breath stops. He’s in that point where there’s no way out of the black hole he’s in forever.

“Jaehwan-ah!”

Jaehwan was sitting alone. When he turn his head, he was scared and he was ready to run away until one hand pull his collar and land a punch on his face. He was threwn away. He was cornered. Soon, kicks were everywhere and Jaehwan’s screaming could be heard from away. A few minutes later, their kicks finally stop. They left him alone, with his scars and cries.

Soon, he finds strength to get up. His eyes were in rage and his hands form a fist. He finds a rock and threw it at the bully. The bully turns to look at him.

“You want more?!” He yells.

“AAAAAGGGHHHHH……!!!!!!”.

Blood was spilled. Everybody that’s in the scene screams and ran. The bully was lying in his own blood. His friends ran away. There’s only Jaehwan and the bully. Jaehwan was holding a knife in his hand. His body trembles and then he threw his knife away and ran.

He ran and ran until he reaches his house. “Jaehwan what happened?” his mother asks. Jaehwan kept on running to his room and lock himself inside. He started to pack his things and ran away through his window. He ran and ran until his feet couldn’t stand it any longer.

‘God, I’m sorry.’

Jaehwan woke up in an unfamiliar room. There was some food on a tray next to the bed where he was in. He was taken aback when an unfamiliar woman walk inside the room he was in. He jumps a little and hugs his knees. The woman seems shocked as well.

“I’m sorry I didn’t mean to scare you” she said.

“Who are you?” Jaehwan whispers.

The girl smiles, she walks toward the bed and sat near him. She reaches out her hand and said, “I’m Yoobin”.

Jaehwan stare at her hand for a long time until she reaches his hand and shook it with hers. “Nice to meet you” she said with a smile. Jaehwan were getting more confused every second. “Who… Who are you???” he asks again. The girl smiles and introduces herself again. “So what’s your name?” she asks.

“My… My name?” he says. The girl laughed and said, “yes, your name!”. She’s happy that he finally talks to her.

Jaehwan looks at her and studies her face. Her face was perfect, like an angel. “Jae… Jaehwan” he answers.

“Jaehwan?” she asks. Jaehwan answers with a nod. “Ahh…” she says while nodding her head. Then, there’s silence.

The girl seems to stare at Jaehwan. He turn his head and blushes. Finally she shook her head and says, “You haven’t eaten right? Here”. She walks to the other side of the bed and takes the tray and places it in front of him. “Eat well, ok? I’ll come here again” she says and leaves his room.

Later, the girl lets he live with her since he needs a place to stay. The girl seems to be caring about Jaehwan. Especially when Jaehwan confesses that he once killed someone. “I think it’s okay, he’s a bully anyway” she says. Since then they were so close as if they were best friends since kindergarten. And since then he starts liking her too.

Yoobin teaches him to not to think much about a problem and to move on with life. She also teaches him how to stay happy at all time so he doesn’t have to be sad about anything. As time goes Jaehwan turns into a happy guy like how he was like before. And one day he finally found courage to confess to her about his feelings.

When that time comes, she came home from her work with a guy friend and happily said that they are a couple.

Jaehwan was crushed. He tries to stay happy but he can’t. How can she done this to him? That’s what he’s always thinking of. Every day she comes home with him on his arms. Every day he has to deal with the sight in front of him, until one day he’s over with it.

Now, Yoobin lies in her kitchen with Jaehwan besides her. He holds a knife, the same knife when he killed the bully. Jaehwan cries on that night, and when morning comes he was standing in the backyard of their house. Then, he walks inside to the house.

He walks to his room. He was depressed and confused as to what just happen. He stood in front of the mirror and started crying, screaming. He feels angry, sad, and frustrated. He can’t think of anything anymore. He can’t believe that he just kill someone who he loves. He feels filthy, disgusted by himself. He felt dangerous. He felt dangerous to anyone that he loves. He started thinking about every innocent person that knew him. What if he kills them? Yoobin was enough. This is enough.

‘Sometimes you just have to know when to back away’