JB couldn’t help being anxious as he followed Jinyoung to his room, he had no idea what he could possibly be walking into. Here was someone whose life he had made miserable and now he was getting to see firsthand how horrible things really were for Jinyoung. Not that he hadn’t met someone in such a situation, but it had always been far from him and here he was taking front row seat on Jinyoung’s life. He was being into the life of this person. This person who reminded him of something so vividly he wanted to forget. There had been times when JB had wondered about Jinyoung, whilst everyone was doing everything to be the most popular person in school, Jinyoung kept to himself and was very obviously doing everything he could to just exist and get through high school. When they got to Jinyoung’s room JB was amazed at what he saw, his jaw dropped to his chest as he looked upon the most beautiful mural he had ever seen. It was magnificent and simple at the same time. It seemed as if different little works of art came together and beautifully blended into one magical work of art. JB turned in circles, slowly taking in the beauty. He noticed other little artistic items in Jinyoung’s room, small portraits, paintings, pictures and photographs of some of the most beautiful things he had ever seen captured on camera. JB shook himself out of the trance and drew his attention back to Jinyoung, he caught Jinyoung’s eyes briefly, but in that moment, he understood something about him.

“Did you do all of this?” JB waved his hands around the room

“Yeah, it’s just a hobby” Jinyoung replied.

“A hobby?...this is amazing, you should have It in a museum or an exhibition or something”

Jinyoung was shocked to hear JB compliment him and the latter didn’t miss the look of surprise on his face. To JB the compliment had just come out naturally, he didn’t have much interest in art or appreciate it but he could appreciate what he was seeing. JB noticed a camera sitting on Jinyoung’s overpopulated bookshelf, and as he walked over to pick it up he could see Jinyoung running over to save it from him. JB knew there would be something good on there so he dashed for it and held on to it like it could possibly give him some of the answers he was looking for, like it could whisper to him the things he knew even the assignment couldn’t give him answers to. As he held on to the camera he wondered who Jinyoung really was.

Jinyoung watched JB go around his room looking at everything, inspecting his life and he couldn’t understand why he just let him. He was upset at his mom for sending them here, he knew she was tired but his room was his own little corner of the world, the one place where life and school never caught up with him, but then in that very moment, JB, the person who hated him so much, was studying everything that kept Jinyoung sane, moving from space to space and turning everything over. Jinyoung wanted him out of there, the project was a bad idea and JB had to go, but he couldn’t just tell him that. He almost had a panic attack when he saw JB go through his sketch book. JB was in his space, his room. There had been many times when he had dreamt that exact scenario, he had told himself over and over again how crazy he was. How could he fantasize and want someone who he knew wouldn’t care if he existed or not? But for the life of him, he couldn’t stop his mind from teasing him. From playing the sweetest nightmares, showing him the side of JB he wished he could find.

“I’m so sorry….I just…I never would have imagined this…” JB started to say.

“From me?” Jinyoung cut him off.

“uhhh….yea” JB said

“You don’t know much about me. Nothing, really”

“I know you’re an artist. I know you are talented and I know you can run your off”

“I learned art out of boredom and running out of desperation. They’re just skills. They don’t make me who I am”

JB just stopped talking, Jinyoung knew he had to stop acting bitter and snapping at JB but he was upset and for once he didn’t have to shut up and take it. This time JB had no choice but to get to know him, they needed each other for the assignment and that made Jinyoung feel untouchable.

“Let’s just finish for the day…” JB finally said.

“Sure”

JB flinched when Jinyoung walked over to him and pulled his camera out of his hands, Jinyoung thought being close to JB had freaked him out. Well, he didn’t have any ulterior motives he just wanted to rescue his camera because JB had a death grip on it and it was the one thing he had left from his grandfather. His grandfather had given it to him on his tenth birthday, with it, Jinyoung taught himself photography. At first they were horrible, but he found ways to make the pictures look better, he developed an eye for photography and his love for other art forms grew. He had never thought much of his talent, but with JB’s compliment, it was very difficult not to let himself feel a little sense of pride and be a little happy. He turned away from JB and leaned over his bed to place his camera on the shelf above his bed, his shirt lifted and he heard a loud shocked gasp from JB. Jinyoung cringed and almost threw himself away from JB when he felt his hand on his shirt lifting it up. Jinyoung had only moved a foot away from JB and was breathing hard. Tears sting his eyes and he looked into JB’s eyes, pleading with him, with unsaid words, he begged him not to ask.

‘What the hell?!’ JB thought. He couldn’t stop himself from moving closer to Jinyoung. He could feel the fear radiating from Jinyoung as the later pressed himself into the wall. Jinyoung’s eyes were wide with fear as the unshed tears he was holding started falling. JB backed away as it dawned on him what he must have looked to Jinyoung in that moment, he hadn’t meant to scare him but he never would have imagined.

“Jinyoung?”

JB saw the look in Jinyoung’s eyes change as he turned to look at him, it was still fear, but a different type of fear. JB knew Jinyoung was scared of him, but the fear in his eyes was different. JB realized he had never seen Jinyoung in any type of casual clothing, even during gym when the guys took off their shirts or wore tanks, Jinyoung always had on an oversized black t-shirt. JB had never thought much about it, but now it all made sense.

“Jinyoung”

“Please…” Jinyoung’s voice broke.

“Jinyoung what happ…”

“Please don’t…please”

The pleading in Jinyoung’s voice broke JB’s heart, he had seen Jinyoung cry before. He had stared right in his face and made him cry countless times and reveled in it like the bully he was but this…there was nothing but pain on Jinyoung’s  face and as he slid down the wall and broke down JB tried to distance himself from it all. His legs felt wobbly as he took a seat on Jinyoung’s bed and just buried his head in his hands. There were scars everywhere, they were faded and old, but JB could tell that at some point the damage had been extensive, he could tell that someone had seriously hurt Jinyoung. JB peaked through his hands at Jinyoung and could see him calming down, Jinyoung hand a handful of his hair in both hands, the tears that were streaming violently before were now a slow stream down his face. JB decided not to bring it up, he couldn’t. The physical scars may have healed and faded but it was obvious that the emotional scars were still raw. JB was appalled as he wondered if Jinyoung’s mom had done it. JB watched as Jinyoung tried to gain his composure, he got up from the bed and turned his back to him to give him time to get off the floor, when he turned around Jinyoung was looking at him warily. JB had already promised himself he wasn’t going to bring it up

“Please don’t tell anyone…please” Jinyoung begged

“I won’t...I promise” JB meant his word.

Jinyoung went into the bathroom to wash the dried tears from his face, as he looked at his reflection in the mirror, he couldn’t help thinking back. He wish he could forget, but everything was so vivid. Every moment, every strike, every insult. All of it was so clear in his head. Even though it had been years, some pain do not just disappear. Some pain haunts you, keeps you up at night, invades your dreams, creates your nightmares. Some pain just stay with you forever. As fresh waves of tears fell from his eyes, he cried for the little boy he could barely remember. The boy he used to be before everything was torn away from him, before his world was turned upside down. He wept for that little boy because he was forever lost.

When Jinyoung returned from the bathroom the air in his room held a tension that hadn’t been there before for the most part, he didn’t want to continue the project and he didn’t want JB asking him more questions.

“I think I should go” JB said

“Yeah, it’s been a long day. I’m sorry about this, this project is just a bit too much right now”

“Ok…Jinyoung?”

“yeah?”

“I meant what I said. I won’t tell anyone”

“I hope not”

Jinyoung trailed behind JB as they left his room, his mom offered JB dinner but he politely refused and left. Jinyoung met his mother’s eyes and he could tell she was upset, but she didn’t say anything, to his relief. They ate dinner in silence, Jinyoung did the dishes and headed to his room. He knew his mom wanted to deal with their issues even less than he did.

The next few days went by as Jinyoung tried to cope with everything that had happened at his house. His life was spinning out of control and everything he had kept hidden was coming out into the open. He tried to avoid JB at school, he wanted him to stop treating him differently, he was afraid people would notice and start asking questions.

“Helloo is there anybody in there? Are you going to answer my question?” JB asked.

His question brought Jinyoung out of his head, Jinyoung scowled, he was having a headache and working with JB on the project wasn’t helping

 “sorry…what was your question?”

“What do you want to do after high school?”

“I don’t know. I haven’t planned that far ahead”

“Why? Shouldn’t you be looking at possible universities and such?”

“No…I’m really just trying to get through this school year”

“You say that like there’s an hour glass hanging over your head”

“Maybe there is. Who knows?” At that Jinyoung got up and walked away thinking JB didn’t understand, he never would. As he stood in line waiting to order another iced coffee he looked back at JB, he seemed upset at what Jinyoung had just said, but it was the truth, sometimes he literally felt like his days were numbered, like his time was running out. He went back to his seat across JB and the latter wouldn’t even look at him. Jinyoung didn’t know why JB cared, but death was touchy for everybody. Jinyoung wasn’t scared though, death would be his release, release from torment, pain and sadness. It would be freedom for once.

“What about you?” Jinyoung asked

“What about me, what?”

“What do you want to be?”

JB didn’t answer right away. Jinyoung was quickly learning JB didn’t like being in the hot seat. Since the beginning of the project most of the questions had been directed at Jinyoung.

“I want to be a writer” JB replied.

“Really? I never would have thought”

“Why?’

“I don’t know. I guess I just never pictured that as a hobby of yours”

“You don’t know that much about me.”

The reference wasn’t lost on Jinyoung but he ignored it and just sipped his coffee. The truth was he didn’t know anything about JB at all, aside the fact that JB hated him.

“Why do you hate me?” Jinyoung asked before he could stop himself.

JB’s eyes met Jinyoung’s and he could tell how shocked JB was. He had never really asked JB any questions, but if ever there was an answer he wanted, this was it.

“I don’t hate you” JB said softly.

“You sure act like it. You’ve made my life miserable for the past how many years?”

“It wasn’t just me”

“So you just treat me like because it’s what the cool kids do?”

“What’s your problem?”

“My problem?! I’m asking you what your issue with me is, and you’re giving me some bull excuse as an answer!”

“What do you want me to say?”

“The truth…start here. From the moment you met me, you made it your personal goal to make my life a living nightmare. You’ve had your friends pick on me, attack me, and for what?”

“ you Jinyoung! You don’t know anything!”

JB jumped up from the table and walked away leaving Jinyoung fighting the urge to yell in frustration. He had let his emotions get the best of him all over again, but he just wanted to know the truth.

On Friday during lunch JB walked up to Jinyoung.

“Do you want to come over to my house after school?” he asked.

“Um…sure…I guess” Jinyoung replied.

“Just meet me in the parking lot after the last class”

“Ok”

Jinyoung couldn’t help sinking back into his seat a little bit as JB walked away. He had been sitting at a table in the corner of the lunch room, due to the weather he couldn’t go hide out on the field like he usually did, and JB had separated from his friends to go over and talk to Jinyoung, who couldn’t understand why people were so interested in why anyone would talk to him, being a social outcast and all. He pulled his homework closer in front of him and tried to ignore the stares. JB coming has surprised him though, he had basically stayed away from Jinyoung since