"Sehun, we're having a meet. Luhan asked for it, it's unusual for him to want to have a meet, since he usually complains about them...." Suho said coming into my room in our dorm. It is weird, actually he's been acting weird for awhile, is he sick? That can't be it, he would have told me if he was....then what is it?

 

"Alright, let me just finish folding this shirt." I said while showing him the shirt. He gave me a smile before going into the living room area. After I finished folding the last shirt of luhans that I was folding, since he never ends up doing his laundry, so I have too, I'm not complaining though, I can't complain when it comes to him.....

 

"Yah! Sehunnie's here! We can start the meeting now!" Chanyeol yelled happily while slinging his arm over baekhyun's shoulder. 

 

"Hyung? What's this about?" I asked looking at him in confusion, he stared at me for a second before looking down sadly? What's wrong with him? Did he get a girlfriend!? Hell no! he better hadn't! I've been trying to get with him since the second month I knew him! That can wait her turn, or go jump off a bridge, whatever's easier.

 

"This isn't really easy to say but-" luhan started but got cut off by tao's phone.

 

"Oh, hang on a second kris just called me!" Tao started. "Hey baby, I miss you....! Oh, that's right thanks for the Gucci bag!" Tao said losing his focus on the matter at hand and gushing at his boyfriend.

 

"Look if you are going to be talking to kris, then go somewhere else, luhan was about to tell us something." Xiumin said motioning for Tao to leave. Tao frowned at xiumin but eventually left to finish his call. Xiumin's been a rival for me ever since day one...maybe he should jump of the bridge with the girl....no, I'm not that cruel, besides he's been getting closer to Chen, so I'll let him stay alive, for now.

 

"Thanks xiumin!" that's it I change my mind, he gets the death penalty too. "As I was saying, this isn't easy to say, especially to you sehunnie....I think it's better if I just say it bluntly." Luhan started while staring at me. Why does he look so hurt? Did he see my death note? I mean, yeah most of the people in there are people he's talked/looked at, but he shouldn't look at me like that, know I feel sad.

 

"I'm leaving exo..." Luhan said bluntly reverting his eyes back to the ground where he had them moments ago and let out a shaky breath while in the process.

 

It was silent for about .005 seconds until chanyeol busted out laughing.

 

"Real funny hyung! You almost had us! You can't leave, kris already left, I don't need another hyung leaving me!" Chanyeol started with laughing but ended with a desperate laugh hoping luhan was actually joking. Luhan stared at him with sadness in his eyes.

 

I felt like my life was crashing down. I couldn't talk, move, or even breath, well until I was about to lose all my oxygen that I needed to live. 

 

"I'll still talk to you guys, I promise!" Luhan said hesitantly. We all knew that was crap. Kris calls us usually when he needs money to get stuff for Tao, which is frequently, but at least we can catch up with him when he does, but luhan, he's well grounded and not as needy as kris...

 

"Sehun....sehunnie?...." Luhan said quietly while coming over to try and touch my shoulder. I stood up right before he was about to touch me and walked to the front door, calm and collectively. Yeah, I looked like nothing was wrong but, I was dying inside. 

 

I left the dorm before anyone could reach me. I blocked out all them, which wasn't easy to do, but I managed.

 

I walked for an hour aimlessly not knowing where I was going or where I was, but at that moment I didn't care, I didn't even feel like I existed. I was wishing this was a dream but I knew it wasn't. 

 

After a few more minutes I came across a bubble tea shop and just thinking about bubble tea made me fall to my knees crying, it finally sunk in that luhan was leaving us, more importantly me! He said he would always be with me know matter what! But here he is leaving me and soon he'll forget I was even alive!

 

I quickly got up when I noticed people staring at me and quickly ran into the store asking for two bubble teas. I paid for them and left. I didn't drink them, i just stared at them while I was walking until I was somewhere no one could find me and then I threw them to the ground. 

 

I finally let myself cry, not for seconds, minutes, but hours. I couldn't control it, he's leaving me! How can someone just up and leave!? 

 

I walked into a bar and drank my feelings away, luckily I was over age so it didn't matter how much, or if I was drinking. I drank till I out. The beer didn't even taste good, probably because my tears were mixing in with the liquid but either way I drank, and drank, and drank, and drank. I just kept drinking till I couldn't think about luhan, so like I said, till I out.

 

I woke up the next morning with a major headache and outside a bar? What happened last night? Oh right.....

 

"This is ing grate!" I laughed historically before hitting the side of the bar. "This is so ing grate, I'm laughing! Maybe the last ing laugh I have until I die, so better make sure this laugh is the best laugh ever!" I said laughing until tears came down, not happy tears that you have when something's really funny but sad tears you have when you're hurt. I kept punching the side of the building before I realized my knuckles were bleeding. "That's just ing grate..." I sarcastically mumbled to myself before holding my arm with the other one.

 

"Sehun? Sehun!? What the hell!?" I heard chanyeol yell running over to me angrily. I sighed annoyed at how loud he was being.

 

"Yah! Shut up already!" I yelled at him before flinching at how loud I was being.

 

"We've been looking for you ever since last night! Why haven't you come home or even answered your phone!?" He said angrily while scolding me. Chanyeol never yells at anyone, so when he does, you know you defiantly did something wrong, but in all honestly I don't care right now. 

 

"Chanyeol, calm down..." Baekhyun said while walking over to Chanyeol and giving him a hug. It seemed to make Chanyeol a bit less angry but not enough for him to get back to normal.

 

"When we get home you better say sorry to everyone, even luhan." Chanyeol said while grabbing me by the hem of my shirt and dragging me off with baekhyun right beside him not making a noise or daring to even look at me, afraid of what his boyfriend would do to him if he did.

 

"Chanyeol, let go of me. I don't want to go home." I said angrily while shoving Chanyeol's grip off of my shirt. How'd I get his grip off me? I have know idea, all I know is I don't want to see luhan yet.

 

"You have too! Everyone's waiting for you back at the dorm! Suho, Kai, Tao, and especially luhan are worried! So let's go!" Chanyeol said getting even angrier at me. I stayed still not moving trying to tell him I wasn't going, but he didn't care he said 'I don't have time for you to be pulling a Britney on me!' And then grabbed me and put me on his shoulder and then he walked off with baekhyun right by his side and me on his shoulder...I hate him so much right now, he is defiantly go in my death note when I get home.

 

"We're back sorry we didn't call right when we found him, he was a bit of...." Baekhyun started trying to be careful with his words.

 

"A pain in the ." Chanyeol said through gritted teeth, I was pretty sure his back was covered in bruises and scratches, and they probably wouldn't heel or go away until a few days,

 

"Sehun? Sehunnie! I was so worried-" luhan started but I cut him off not wanting to hear his lies.

 

"Save it, luhan" i said with disgust drenching his name. I stormed too our room and slammed it shut loudly, making sure everyone knew i was pissed the hell off. I went to my bed and put my headphones in and laid down.

 

"Sehunnie...sehunnie...please answer me...?" Luhan came in finally when it was passed his normal bed time. I pretended as if he wasn't there, until he came over and started tapping my shoulder lightly. I growled in frustration before pushing him away.

 

"What do you want know!? To tell me you want this back!? Fine have it!" I yelled while throwing the Cartier bracelet we both have straight to his head. Luhan looked at me trying not to cry but I didn't care, maybe I wanted him to suffer! Maybe I want him to feel the same way I do!

 

"Sehunnie, please calm down." He said calmly while trying to touch me again. I swatted his hand away while looking at him with disgust, anger, and hurt in my eyes, all at the same time.

 

"Don't touch me luhan, and don't tell me to calm down! You lied to me!? How the could you lie to me!? You promised me you'd always be there for me! I guess you lied, you and everyone else lie to me! But I thought you would keep your promise! Well thanks for the time we had together, making me feel happy being around you and making me fall in ing love With you! Yeah bet you didn't know that! But oh, right you probably wouldn't care, cause if you did, you wouldn't leave me alone! To think I believed everything you ever said." I said through gritted teeth and tears falling down my cheeks letting myself finally explode. "Why aren't you saying anything!? You finally have nothing to say!? Grate! The one time I need you to ing speak you can't! What!? Did I already say everything that needed to be!? Well grate! Then good ing night!" I yelled after a few seconds of silence.

 

"No, that's not it at all!" Luhan said angrily. I was a little bit taken back at how furious he looked and sounded. 

 

"Did you ever think about how I felt about this!? Have you ever noticed how sick I looked!? Obviously not! You only care about yourself! Take a ing second to notice everyone around you! You don't think this is hard for me!? News flash, this is hard for me too! I love all you guys so much! But I can't ant do this anymore! I look like I'm dying!" Luhan said angrily but then turned out to be more of sad yells until he fell to his knees crying. I just stood there staring at him. Why couldn't I do anything? I wasn't mad at him anymore, well at least not as mad, I was more sad and guilty. A few minutes went by before anyone said anything.

 

"You don't think I have feelings for you, either? Well then you need to really look at your surroundings...I've been following you around since the first time I meet you, I've wanted you to open up to me, and I got that, finally." He said smiling with bitterness, before falling all the way to the ground and out.

 

Sehun quickly picked luhan up and ran out the dorm without telling everyone what had happened. He ran all the way to the hospital, luckily it was a few minutes away from where they lived.

 

"Help! Someone help! Why is it taking so ing long for someone-" Sehun yelled when he finally got into the hospital, tears falling down his face every second.

 

"What happened to him?" One of the nurses asked while taking luhan away from Sehun's grip to place him on a gurney and started running to a room.

 

"I don't know! Shouldn't you be able to ing tell me!?" Sehun yelled furiously at the man while quickly keeping in pace with the gurney. He grabbed luhan's hand and continued walking to the room they were going to.

 

"Sir calm down, you should go wait over at the waiting area, when you settle down, we'll ask you some questions." The nurse said. Sehun looked at the nurse as if he was crazy. The nurse sighed and motioned for some security guards to come and take Sehun away.

 

"Well, you know what! Nurses are for women not men!" Sehun yelled out. He didn't know why he said that since some of his friends turned out to be nurses, but he was just so mad that he didn't care about what he was saying.

 

"Oh Sehun, is that correct?" The same nurse came out after a few hours. Sehun knew that luhan had went into the intensive care unit, so something bad was defiantly going on.

 

"Yeah? Why? Is luhan okay!? Please tell me he's okay!?" I said snapping back into reality. I grabbed onto the nurses arm hoping it would help with the outcome, but the nurse just looked at him sympathetically.

 

"It turned out luhan had a brain tumor...he has a slim chance...but he wants to see you, maybe it will help him!" The nurse said trying to encourage me to go, but right before he finished his sentence I was already half way towards the room luhan was in. I tried wiping my tears away before I went in, but they kept on coming out.

 

"Luhan?" I asked quietly while walking over to where he was and that was when I finally saw how sick he was.

 

"Sehunnie!" He said while coughing a little, but he still had a smile on? Why? I was just a huge to him a few hours ago!

 

"Sehunnie," he started again but I cut him off.

 

"Don't talk luhan, you have to be quiet so you could become better again." I said tears forming in my eyes, once again.

 

"Do you really think I'll live?" He asked trying to laugh it off.

 

"Don't say stuff like that, of corse you'll make it! You're my deer!" I said scolding him for how he was talking.

 

"Hey, I'm your hyung, don't talk to me like that." He started while scolding me for scolding him. "I don't have that much time left, to say bluntly." He said frowning. " so just in case, I want to tell you something, alright sehunnie? and I want you to remember it forever. Remember 520....okay? Good," He said coughing in between most of the words but smiling with sadness at me "we'll meet again I prom-" and with that he stopped, everything stopped, his voice, his movement, his smile, his eyes, his heart....

 

"Luhan! You can't die! Get your tiny back up! You can't leave me! I'll hate you if you do!" I said through big breathes. Tears were falling down like water works for the third time today? 

 

"Luhan wake up! Hyung!? You don't want me to hate you do you!?" I said while shaking him. Right when that was happening many nurses came in to take me off of him. They were giving me sympathetic looks while I just gave them hatred looks in return. 

 

"Get the off me! Luhan! Get up! Stop playing with me!" I said while one of the same security guards from early dragged me away.

 

"I hate you luhan! See! I hate you! I....hate....you...." I said sadly while gaining much attention from the people around. But I don't care at all! Luhan's not dead! This is all just a bad dream! I know it! Luhan would never have a brain tumor! He's to nice to ever have anything bad happen to him.

 

"We'll take him." Suho said taking me from the security guard while giving him an apologetic look and then dragged me to the car.

 

"Let me go suho! I have to go get luhan back!" I yelled angrily.

 

"Sehun, you can't, he's dead." Suho said while trying to hold back tears. Everyone was there, including kris. They were all crying, with me crying as well. That night no one said anything to each other, we all went back to our rooms, baekhyun and chanyeol, xiumin and Chen,

suho and lay, 

Kai and kyungsoo,

Even kris and Tao!

But I had to go to bed alone...no one in my room to hold me through my tears, no one to help me through this, just me and the darkness, that's all that will ever be there...luhan just put a tiny fire in my life, but like all fires, they burn out and then you're left in the darkness...

 

The next day I didn't leave my room, or the day after that, or any day for that matter, the only way I would get food was if someone would bring it in to my room. Luckily we weren't promoting or anything like that, that wouldn't happen till a few more months.

 

Late at night on May 14th I remembered what luhan said to me 

 

"'520' what does that mean? Is that like a date or something?" I said my voice hoarse from all the crying and also all the non talking I've done for three months straight. 

 

I searched it up online and saw that it meant I love you in Chinese. Their we go again! My tears coming back like they never left. I went back to bed crying myself to sleep, once again.

 

 

On May 19th I woke up and actually got out of my room and went to see everyone. They all looked surprised at me, sadly kris had to leave awhile ago but when he did he came in and said bye to me.

 

"Se-Sehun you came out of your room?" Suho asked surprised yet relieved.

 

"Yeah....I'm going to go take a walk to clear my head....? I love you guys, tell kris I love him too, alright, goodbye guys, I love you." I said before leaving the dorm, everyone had the same puzzles faces on their faces but they didn't say anything. 

 

On May 20th, that's the day they found me.

 

"Sehun! Sehun! You're going to be okay!" I heard someone say, I made out the face and it was suho and behind him was everyone from exo.

 

"520 it means I love you." I said with a sad smile on my face before darkness came over me.

 

On June 1st was my funeral. They put up a picture of me and luhan.

 

On March 3rd they started to smile again. I just hope they remember the good times kris, luhan, and I had with them.