sorry for typos, and yeah this is my first fic here in aff. hope you'll like it :)) -aith

A STORY

“Seulgi, I have something to say.” I told the girl who looks like a bear beside me. We are waiting for the train to arrive. But I have something to say… something deep, meaningful for me and it is scary. What if… if I say this uneasiness of feelings when she’s around to Seulgi, will she walk away? Run away? And leave me here looking like a fool? I wouldn’t know, but I want to know.

“What is it unnie?” She said while turning to me smiling. I am a nervous wreck… I do not know what to do, but I want to know who I am for Kang Seulgi. I can’t chicken out now, not now, never. I toughed myself up. Here it goes.

“I love you.” I told her but that was when the train appeared. Loud noises can be heard at the train station, the screeching of the train and the murmurs of people. And I am afraid she didn’t hear my confession, I am afraid that I have to repeat it.

“Hmmn? What did you say unnie?” I was right, Seulgi did not hear me. What is with the train?! It broke my toughened up self. I felt like hiding in a shell, I don’t what to say it again. What if… all what if and questions started to swarm around my head. But my motivation overpowered it all; I want to know who I am for Kang Seulgi. I decided to say it again, once more.

“I said  I love you.” I told her again nearly shouting as people were starting to gather to get on the train.

“awww!” Seulgi shouted a person bumped her. The crowd thickened, it was already crowded to begin with. Some heard my confession and I was just looking at Seulgi. I can’t look at other people, those judging stares, it bore through me. As if saying loving someone with the same gender is wrong, a taboo, but what do they know about it? I decided to ignore them. Those judging stares may condemn me in their minds, but my feelings won’t change.

“What is it again unnie?” mouth hanging open, I was shocked at the realization; she did not hear me, again. I do not know what to do, should I repeat it?

“Unnie! Let’s go!” Seulgi said as she was pulling me the open door. People were going out; some were going in, like me and Seulgi. I didn’t care if I was shoved around, I don’t care. My mind was hazy, blank… I can’t think straight, my confession went down the drain. Seulgi did not hear me. As we were settled inside the train, my mind was still blank. I heaved a sigh.

“By the way unnie, what were you trying to say earlier?” She asked while looking at me, I looked away. I am ashamed and scared, scared of the what ifs in my mind. I couldn’t handle it anymore I let my scared self take over me.

“Ugh, it was nothing.” I told her, still looking outside.

I can’t meet her gaze, I was scared, and What if she can read what’s going on my mind?! What ifs… my imagination started to drift somewhere else, I am too paranoid. Paranoia has always got the better of me, always. I always chicken out, I am shy but when I decided to toughen up that was when these circumstances occur. It crushed me, I felt down. I just can’t understand. Why am I so unlucky?!

As we were nearing our stop, I shifted at my seat. And that was when Seulgi leaned closer to me, and started to whisper in my ears.

“Unnie?”

“Hmmn?” I asked sounding nervous, my hands were shaking. She was so near, my mind went haywire.

“I heard what you said earlier unnie, all of it.” I was shocked at her statement. I quickly looked at her and eyed her suspiciously, how could she ever hear me? It was noisy earlier, how could that happened? But with that in my mind, my hands were shaking. I was starting to sweat, I am nervous. What will she say about it? Will she laugh at me? Leave me? Go away from me? I am nervous just by thinking of the possibilities, but I shouldn’t over think.

“I love you too Bae Joo Hyun.”Seulgi said while whispering to me. I was shocked, my brain could not possibly process it, it was too much to handle. My brain became hazy, it blanked out. “I-a-you what?” I asked her again. Maybe I heard it wrong.

“I said I love you.” Seulgi said, repeating her words earlier. I did not mishear it! It was all true! I can’t believe it; I-Kang Seulgi said she likes me –scratch that, she said she loves me. I felt Butterflies in my tummy. I felt like I was going to cry. I don’t know what to do, I can’t comprehend. My mind blanked out again. I can’t think straight. Overwhelmed by my emotions, I just hugged her. But everything was cut off. We were already at our stop. Timing is not on my side, again.

But at least, I now know who I am to Kang Seulgi.

--

The loud noise of bells blaring got my attention.

“Alright then, could you please pass your papers.” Our instructor said.

Not paying attention to our instructor, I looked over my left shoulder and I saw Seulgi, standing up to pass her paper. And I suddenly thought to my self, when will she notice me? Does she ever know me? Or am I just nobody to her? What ifs… these words and ideas have been constantly swirling through my mind for a couple of days now.

But when Seulgi was nearing my seat, she turned my way, and she flashed me a cheeky smile. Hearts fluttering, I do not know what to do. Instead I flashed a smile as a sign of response. Everything happened so fast.

But everything… everything was just a figment of my imagination, a day dream. Everything was just a story, nothing but a story or not…