“Hyung!”

Jinki is on the edge of consciousness, his mind stuck somewhere in between reality and the strange dream he’s having.

“Jinki-hyung!”

He thinks the voice is part of his dream. It wouldn’t be the first time he had heard it in his dreams. It isn’t until he feels the breeze coming in from his open window, and hears the cicadas outside, that he realizes he’s waking up and the voice is not just in his dream.

“Wake up, you idiot! I don’t want to have to climb in there!”

He finally cracks his eyes open with an irritated groan. “No,” he whines.

“Get up.”

“Why?” He turns his head to see Taemin leaning in through his bedroom window, a familiar grin on his lips. The light from the street lamp outside shines in just enough for Jinki to see the boy’s newly dyed purple tipped hair. Probably the work of some hair dye he’d stolen from the drug store down the street from his house. “We’re going on an adventure.”

Jinki glances at his clock on the bedside table. “At 3am?”

“3am adventures are the best kind of adventures,” Taemin answers matter-of-factly.

Jinki huffs as he pushes the blankets off and throws his legs over the side of the bed. “I have to go to breakfast with my parents and their colleagues in about 5 hours.”

“Bleh. All the more reason to go on an adventure now.”

“You’re insane.”

“But you already knew that.”

“Just get down from window before you fall again. I’ll be down in a second.”

“That was one time,” Taemin reminds him. “I’m careful now.” He gives Jinki a -eating grin and lets go of the window sill for a split second, letting himself fall back, and then grasps it again before he can really fall. Jinki would’ve had a mini-heart attack if he wasn’t so used to Taemin’s antics by now.

“Taemin.”

“Okay, I’m going,” Taemin sings, before disappearing from Jinki’s view and climbing down.

After slipping on some clothes he finds on the floor, and stuffing his wallet and phone in his pockets, Jinki climbs down after Taemin, and lands softly on his feet as he jumps from the low tree branch.

Taemin is leaning back against the tree waiting for him, tattered converse kicking at the immaculate lawn. He’s wearing ripped up jeans that are loose on his skinny legs, and a sleeveless, dirty band shirt. There’s an old, blue backpack sitting at his feet, and Jinki eyes it curiously, but he doesn’t ask about it.

“So, what does this 3am adventure entail, exactly?”

Taemin shrugs. “Thought I’d just wing it. I’ll think of something on the way.” He picks up the backpack and slings it over one shoulder. He takes Jinki’s hand, and turns around to give him another grin before he starts running.

Jinki lets himself be led out of his yard, away from his house, and to wherever Taemin wants to take him. The night is humid, but Jinki likes the air that rushes past his ears and cools the sweat collecting on his forehead. Taemin’s hand feels small and warm in his own, his grip tight but not constricting. He stares at Taemin’s back, his wide shoulders and small waist, and he sees freedom.

In Jinki’s world of strict, wealthy parents and school and business and bull, Taemin is his only freedom.

Taemin is the troublemaker, the thieving kid, the orphan boy with bruises and cuts that no one asks about. Jinki remembers riding in the passenger seat of his mother’s expensive car and seeing Taemin as they were stopped at a red light. He was sitting cross-legged on the ground, back leaning against the bus stop sign. He was scruffy and dirty as always, his clothes worn and baggy. There was a cut on his lip that had scabbed over and looked like it would split open if he smiled. Jinki remembers aching to ask him what happened, but Taemin wouldn’t have answered that question even if Jinki had gotten the chance to ask. “Scum,” his mother had muttered, scoffing as she glanced Taemin’s way. His chest burned with anger, but he said nothing.

To this day, he wishes he would have spoken up, because Taemin is not scum, Taemin is freedom.

Imagining the scandalized look on his mother’s face if she were to ever find out about his 3 year long relationship with Taemin gives him some satisfaction, though. But some things are better kept secret, and Taemin is his secret only.

“Why here?” He asks when Taemin finally stops running and latches onto the top of a fence, preparing to climb over.

“I like their fence,” Taemin says simply, and Jinki lets out a huff of laughter. Taemin swings a leg over and balances on top of the fence. “Oh they have a pool! I really know how to pick ‘em.”

Jinki follows after him, and climbs over the fence with a little less grace than Taemin managed. They both tear off their clothes when they catch sight of the large in-ground pool, and race to the edge. Jinki leaves his shirt and boxers on, but Taemin rips off every piece of clothing he’s wearing without shame. They’re laughing and shushing each other as they climb in, probably making even more noise than necessary.

Jinki feels a pleasant giddiness as they play around, splashing water at each other and dunking each other under the water. Water gets in his nose, and his eyes burn from the chlorine, but he’s having so much fun he doesn’t care.

They calm down after a while, and Jinki is left leaning against the edge of the pool, while Taemin floats around on his back, staring up at the sky. There’s only the sound of crickets in the distance and water lapping at the edges of the pool.

“Do you ever wonder what’s out there?” Taemin’s voice is strangely soft when he breaks the silence.

“Out where?”

“Out in the world,” Taemin pauses for a few second. “Do you ever wonder if there are better things out there, waiting for you to chase after them?”

“I don’t know,” is all he can say. He wants to say no, because Taemin is the best person in his life, and he’s already right there. There’s nothing better for him to chase after. But he doesn’t say that out loud because Taemin would just laugh at his cheesy words. “Why?”

Taemin lowers his feet back into the water and turns to face Jinki with a smile that hides everything he wants to say. “No reason. Just rambling,” he shrugs, before wading over to where Jinki is standing.

His purple hair sticks to cheeks, and his eyes are reflecting the lights that are shining from inside the pool as he approaches. The sight is simple but beautiful, and Jinki stores it in the safest part of his mind with other treasured memories.

Taemin’s hand reaches the side of his neck, and he comes closer until their faces are only centimeters apart. Jinki can see the faded bruise on his cheek bone, and the drops of water that are sticking to his eyelashes, and he feels the anticipation as Taemin leans closer. It’s the same feeling every time Taemin kisses him; a rush of adrenaline and a warmth that spreads from his head to his toes. What he feels when he kisses Taemin is what he imagines jumping out of a plane feels like; beautiful, dangerous and exciting.

Taemin’s lips are eager against his own. They’re soft and plump and they feel like Jinki’s own personal heaven. His hands reach out to grab Taemin’s hips and he’s reminded that the other boy is .

Just when Taemin’s tongue is beginning to work wonders and his hands are inching toward the boy’s , they both hear the sound of a door.

They pull apart immediately and Jinki spots a light on through a window in an upstairs bedroom of the stranger’s house.

“,” he hears Taemin mumble.

Then they’re a scrambling mess of limbs as they try to climb out of the pool and to where their clothes are scattered across the yard. Taemin stumbles as he tries to slip his underwear on and grab the rest of his clothes at the same time, and Jinki grabs Taemin’s backpack in a flurry of movements.

They hear the backdoor open and a man yelling just as they’re jumping over the fence, laughing like idiots and leaving a trail of water behind them.

____________________________

They end up outside the bus station.

Jinki sits on a bench with Taemin’s head in his lap, the boy’s new purple hair dye probably staining his pants. His clothes are still damp and the tips of his hair are wet, but it’s still warm and stuffy outside, so he doesn’t mind it.

Taemin is humming a song he doesn’t know and drawing on him with a sharpie he kept in his bag. He enjoys the tickle of the marker as Taemin doodles random words and cartoon characters on the inside of his arm. They’re both sipping from a bottle of beer Taemin pulled out of his bag and had kept wrapped in clothes. It’s warm and flat and tastes unpleasant, but Jinki takes a sip each time Taemin offers. It isn’t as bad as some of the alcohol Taemin had gotten a hold of before.

“Hey, Jinki-hyung?”

“Hm?”

“You like me, right?”

He glances down at Taemin, and brushes a strand of damp purple hair from his cheek. Taemin isn’t looking at him, his eyes are trained to the sloppy flower he’s drawing on Jinki’s arm. “I love you,” Jinki says without hesitation. He feels Taemin’s hand still and watches his eyelashes flutter as he blinks nervously. This isn’t the first time Jinki has said it to him, but his reaction is always much the same.

“You’re weird,” Taemin says, and continues his flower doodle.

Jinki laughs. “Pot calling the kettle black.”

Silence engulfs them again, and Taemin isn’t humming anymore. He continues to stare at Taemin, watching the way the boy’s eyebrows furrow and his tongue peeks out to wet his lips. Taemin is troubled and Jinki knows he wants to say something, but he can’t find the words. These are the times when he wishes he could get a glimpse inside Taemin’s mind. He can practically hear the unspoken words in the air, and he isn’t sure if Taemin will say them.

“Jinki?” Taemin’s voice is strangely vulnerable when he finally speaks.

“Yeah?”

“I’m leaving.”

Jinki feels his heart still and his arm jerks, messing up Taemin’s drawing and leaving a harsh black line across the small doodles. The air is heavy around them and Jinki’s tongue feels like sand paper in his mouth when he tries to speak again. “When?”

“In about 5 minutes.”

Jinki glances at the clock on the outside of the bus station building and sees that it’s 4:54am.

Taemin sits up and caps the marker, before stuffing it back into his bag. He scoots closer, until their legs are pressed together, and rests his head on Jinki’s shoulder. The action feels bittersweet. Jinki loves his warmth, but he still feels the shock and the sting of betrayal. “Why?”

“I told you. I just want to see if there are better things out there for me. Maybe there aren’t, but I won’t know until I go looking.”

A part of him wants to beg Taemin to stay. Although Taemin has never been one to be held down, he thinks he might be able to convince him to stay. But it’s a selfish thought. Because Taemin does deserve better things. Taemin deserves better than painful bruises and harsh words and scarce food, better than a hidden relationship with a selfish rich kid who can’t even help him. Taemin has always helped Jinki feel free, but Taemin himself has always been trapped.

“I didn’t tell anyone. Just you.” Jinki lays his cheek on top of Taemin’s head, and feels his hair tickle his face. He watches as Taemin picks at a loose string on his pants and he knows that Taemin is thinking carefully about what he wants to say. Which is rare, considering Taemin normally says the first thing that comes to his mind, no matter how strange. “I don’t care about anything I’m leaving behind in this town…except you. You’re the only one, the only person that made me think twice about leaving. So, I thought you at least deserved to know.”

Taemin has never spoken his feelings so clearly. Jinki always just knows, because Taemin’s actions speak louder than his words.

He’s stuck between feeling the bitterness of Taemin’s departure and feeling bliss from the words he had just spoken.

The bus pulls up soon after Taemin speaks, arriving early and ruining any chance Jinki has to reply. Taemin grabs his bag and stands up, and Jinki follows.

Taemin turns to face him and leans forward to kiss him with a sense of urgency. The kiss is everything Taemin wants to say - “I love you” “be happy” “I’ll miss you” - but can’t get past his lips.

When Taemin pulls away, it feels like he’s taking every bit of Jinki’s happiness with him. Taemin gives him one last smile, and Jinki is suddenly struck by the thought that this is the last kiss, the last smile, that Taemin will give him. He watches Taemin get on the bus, sees the head of purple hair through the windows as he makes his way down the aisle to find a seat. Taemin is leaving. He’s really leaving, and Jinki is panicking. First his mind is completely blank from shock, and then there are too many thoughts rushing through all at once.

He thinks of cold, uncaring parents, of impossible expectations, of fake school friends, of the emptiness of his big house. And then he thinks of Taemin. Taemin, Taemin, Taemin. Taemin’s lips on his neck, Taemin’s fingers in his hair, Taemin’s laughter in his ear. He thinks of the sense of freedom Taemin gives him, and how he only feels like himself when Taemin drags him out for 3am adventures.

His heart is racing and his mind is screaming at him to stop, but his feet start moving. He pushes through the doors and shoves a few bills into the bus driver’s hand before he hurries down the aisle.

“What the hell are you doing?”

Taemin is looking up at him from the bus seat with wide eyes. The boy is looking at him like he’s insane, and he feels like he definitely is. There are a million reasons why he shouldn’t be doing this, and they’re all very logical, but right now he isn’t listening to them.

He sits down next to Taemin, and feels Taemin’s shocked gaze follow his movements. “Are you an idiot? You have to be home soon! Your parents will-”

Jinki isn’t even paying attention. He’s soaking in the sound of the voice he thought he was going to never hear again, and watching Taemin’s lips move as he speaks.

Taemin halts his rant when Jinki takes his hand and links their fingers. The painful sting in his chest is gone, and he feels like he can breathe again. It feels right. It feels like home. “You said you should chase after the better things in life, right? That’s what I’m doing.”