https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HMUDVMiITOU

GUAN'S POV

I was sweating.

I looked down at Cadet Tian's frothy convulsions in horror and fascination. Very suddenly, a small, small man with tender hands that looked like they loved to the shaft of Moses walked in; resolutely, determinedly; sensually. 

At this, I felt befuddled; I was confuzzled; my knot was growing like a large, large hand was twisting my stomach. What even was this???? Omegaverse?? 

However, I was a faithful man, and I never failed to notice the neurological pulsing of Cadet Tian at my feet. My endeared evoked a kind of carnal desire within me,
a hole which could not be filled by any other, a metaphor for something else rather suggestive. However, my large push up bra was somewhat blocking my view. This was quite the large problem. My neck snapped up again though, as the small man cleared his throat. It sounded like frogs mating. Quite arousing. 

"NAWH, HAW ARR Y'ALL TODAY?" he screeched tenderly. "I HEARD THAT Y'ALL LUVVED TO PLAY. WANNA PLAY A THUN GAIM?"

A young child in the back, clothed in the same blue and khaki uniform as everyone else, holla'd back, "No, you phat phuk!!" 

The small man creaked his neck around to look at the child, and spoke. "It was rhetorical device, you concubinic sack of meat. NAWH BACK TO WHAT I WAS SAIYAN, WI ARR TAKING YOUR INTERESTS INTO CONSIDERASHION. WE ARE HOLDING A PLAY. SHAKESPEARE'S 'A MIDSUMMER NIGHT'S DREAM,' IN FACT."

Murmurs of vehement uneasiness flitted around the room. The atmosphere was thicker than very done meat; thicker than blended lube with a touch of honey; thicker than the oil in the bloodstream of the average American.

"THE ROLES HAVE BEEN DETERMINED PRIOR TO THIS PRESENTATION. CADET GUAN, YOU ARE TO BE DEMETRIUS. CADET DU - HELENA. CADET CHEUNG- LYSANDER. CADET TIAN- HERMIA. "

I, hearing his name through my constant underlying grunts of CaTian's thrash episode, looked up in horror. 

"Bye, Felicia," I whispered, as I dropped through the layers of floor. Suddenly, a blast of rambunctious music was heard. It was Turn Down for What.

"So profound," I hear Cadet Cheung murmur.