Someone told me that it wouldnt last, Changes continuesly invaded us. i was frightened so i didnt notice that i am slowly turning my back to you. I didnt notice that i lost you. 

 

It took me a year to realize something, as i opened my lugguage i saw the thing that witnessed our love and lovely memories came back.

Thats it! i've experienced too much pain! I have wasted too much time because of this fear I have inside  me its time to face my fear. I wear our cartier bracelet hoping that you never forgot me and you'll forgive me. I went to your house i imagined how you waited in this door and i felt a pang on my chest, i regret being afraid and being such an .

 

 "Excuse are you looking for the owner of that house?" 

 

"Yes?" I replied as i turned my back 

 

"Maybe he didnt contact you, he was been hospitalized for about 6 months, i guess you lost your contact to each oth--"

 

"What hospital?! Why?"

 

"As i heard from my niece, his neighboor. He has a lukemia. he's in ******** Hospit---"

 

"THANK YOU VERY MUCH!" i shouted while i dash out and went to the hospital. 

 

As i entered the hospital my tears wont just stop, "Excuse me where is the room of Mr. Oh Sehun?"

 

"He's in room 520, 4th floor" i didnt respond and i rappidly went to his room.

 

As i enter his room, my heart is continuesly falling into pieces and my guilt is killing me. If i didnt leave him,i could protect him and no severe event may happen. This is all my fault.

 

"Sehunah" i whisper after i opened the door, and I walk slowly i saw his pale face, dark circles below his eyes and his dry lips. There my heart finally burst. I cried while holding his hands

 

"Lu ge, is that you?" He ask i can feel the pain in the way he tried to speak clearly

 

"yes, sehunah! Its me your hyung,im so sorry sehun im such a coward, I should protect and took care of you, im sorry i dont know what to do im sorry i was afraid sehunah im sorry I'll accept if you wont forgive me just live sehunah just keep fighting" i said even though my voice is cracking, he just smiled bitterly yet i can feel the sweetness

 

"Dont worry hyung before the day that i found out that i have thi-- *cough* this illness *cough* I already forgave you ☺ i understand you I know that it is scary to continue what we have and i understand it. " he whispered I bursted in to more tears. He raised his right arm and saw the symbol of our love that made me cry more.

 

"Your...e still wea..ring it" i said 

 

"Yes hyung i never removed it from here, Hyung now that you came you really made me happy, i could rest happily now" he smiled

 

"No sehun please dont give up please fight"

 

"Shhhh hyung i already accepted it so please accept it also *coughs* Im happy that we could met and speak to each other, 520 hyung~" he said, his voice is full of pain and weakness Im so guilty right now...

 

"486 sehunah~" im really bursting into tears

 

"Can i ask for xoxo before I lef-" i kissed him im sure he can taste the saltiness of my tears And then i hugged him tightly.

 

"Tha...nk y...ou hy.un...g" he smiled again but this now showing his teeth and with his eyes sparkling...

 

"Hyunggg im.. go..ing... *coughs* to ressst now, I love you hyung please dont burden yourself and please take *coughs* care of yourself." He said and slowly closing his eyes

 

My eyes became blurry because of my overflowing tears, i called the nurses and doctors and there they confirmed that he already rested. 

 

"486 Sehunah, 520 sehunah" almost a month have passed and now im sitting in your grave, im took care of myself like what you said but im so alone and lonely. I cried I always cry im always here sehunah. 

 

"Gomawo, mianhae, saranghae"

 

Our love wasnt in the perfect timing but now sehunah let me make it up to you. Let us continue our love eternally. I promise to hold on, keep fighting and love you even more Sehun saranghaja~

 

Everything turned into darkness.  As i fall on your grave.