THREE

20 years old

My graduation day.Two years of hard-work is paid. I’ve finally free to do what I want. It feels so good that I’m crying for three days. My family will come, means that Yunho will too, before they will celebrate my graduation back at home.

Home.

What used to be home to me feels foreign for me now. Two years I’ve been picking up pieces of my heart and painfully mend it together. Every cracks, every scars, every flaws are a proof of my fight. I don’t give up. I don’t dwell on misery. I wake up. I stand up. And I keep walking.

Speaking of Yunho, he and Ara are going back together. I don’t know whether to feel happy or sorry for them. What would it take for either of them to see that they don’t belong together? It’s as plain as a day that they are miserable. Not that it’s any of my business.

I’ve been dating Taecyeon for a while now. We met a year and a half ago on a bar where there was party for his graduation day. Now he works in a big law firm in the city near my campus. It’s ironically sweet how our relationship grown over a year. I like him, sometimes I even thought I love him and yet I haven’t said that to him even until now. I know sooner or later I’d test the patience of saint Taecyeon.

Truth is I’m scared. There’s something inside me that holding me back from giving myself completely in this relationship. People said the heart only wants what heart wants. My heart wants Yunho and even God knows that’s impossible. I have no guts to end it with Taecyeon given how much I crave his attention, or for that matter any men attention since I’ve never had it from the man that own my heart. Without I realized, I’ve been hiding in my comfort zone that is Taecyeon.

It’d be a of heartbroken when the time comes.

“You sure you don’t want us to bring anything?”

I stare exasperatedly at the phone. “No mom. Just bring all of your asses here. That’s all what I need.”

“Language!”

Small smile is tugging at my lips. “Hey, I’m an adult now. I can swear anytime, everywhere I want.”

“And I’m still your mom.”

I roll my eyes knowing she can’t see me. “Alright. I’ll see you tonight mom. Drive safely.”

I hear her sigh from the phone. “See you honey.”

Now all I have to do is to get ready. Taecyeon will pick me up at six before together we will drive to the restaurant to meet my family. My skin itches at the thought of introducing him in front of my family knowing Yunho will be there. I’m not ready for Taecyeon to meet Yunho, but I’ll be damned if I let Yunho intimidating my boyfriend.

Taecyeon is always on time. That’s one of the things I like about him. Ever since I ran away from home two years ago, I wanted some changes in my life. I started seeking things that the exact opposites of Yunho. That was how I cope up with the pain, a defense mechanism that led me to a more constructed, steady life. I’m different now.

The moment I step inside the restaurant with Taecyeon’s hand on my spine, my eyes instantly find him. Like a pair of magnets trying to find each other, our gazes are locked. The fact that my body betrays me sends me into an edge. I feel the temper starts rising, waiting to be unleashed. This is the new me and it makes me sick. 

They all stand up to greet me, planting kisses on my cheeks and hugging me tight. In spite of my promise to Yunho years ago, I never once went home on weekends. The fight that night was the final string. I barely acknowledge Yunho and never meeting my sister’s eyes. It’s just awkward.

I mumble the introduction and as soon as the ‘boyfriend’ word leaves my mouth, Mom gushes all over Taecyeon to the point of embarrassing. Dad shoots me an apologetic look which I return with reassuring smile. After all, this is Mom. Taecyeon the ever gentleman pulls the chair out for me which earns narrowed gaze from Yunho. Mom beams widely on my right. Her eyes gleams and I know that the wedding song is playing