Everyone knew that Jiyong and Youngbae wanted to do their careers after training together and more or less alone. After the filming of Happy Together everyone knew this as fact. A fact that Deasung was always aware of but still stung to hear about it in such blunt words like they didn’t matter. They mattered to Daesung though because he knows it’s because of him that they never got to fulfill that dream until the recent release of Good Boy.

                Training at YG Entertainment had seem like a far off dream to Daesung, he knew what he looked like and while his voice had garnered attention he didn’t have the rough bad boy image that YGE was looking for. Though Deasung took this opportunity to take his skills and really improve upon them as much as he could before the inevitable was to come and he would be cut from the trainees. When Yang Hyun-suk come into the room full of trainees to say he was going to put together an Idol group with Jiyong leading them, Daesung saw this as his possible one and only chance to make his dreams come true. He knew he lacked the cool and aloof attitude the cooler than cool Idols that YGE produced but maybe in a group of other guys his short comings wouldn’t be so obvious and he can just shine with his voice.

                With a spring in his step Daesung was on the way to the dance studio to polish up his moves as to not look like a total fool during the auditions, he unfortunately overheard Jiyong talking with Yang Hyun-suk.

                “I have been training here for over 6 years fetching water and cleaning studios! And this is how I’m repaid??! By being forced to lead a group of nobodies that I have no desire to work with?!?” To say Jiyong was mad would be an understatement, only the great G-Dragon could get away with blowing up at the CEO and get away with it. Daesung didn’t hang around to hear what Yang Hyun-sak had to say to him, it was clear that he was wasting his time just as he had always known. With slumped shoulders he still headed to the dance studio where he found G-Dragons partner in crime the only one he wanted to debut with, Taeyang.

                Taeyang was far nicer than his best friend that was obvious but he was still considered by all the other trainees off limits in all aspects since he WAS G-Dragon’s friend and his only. Daesung knew there were more reasons and more obvious reasons why he didn’t fit into YGE’s ideal of an Idol, hell even just living in Korea. For Daesung holds a secret one he will probably have to take to his grave, you see Daesung liked the company of men. Well he likes men anyway he’s never been in the company of anyone that way let alone another man but still you get the point. Though he supposes there is another secret that he will take with him into the afterlife and that would be his ridiculous crush on one Dong Youngbae aka Taeyang. Unlike his best friend Youngbae never acted like you should be amazed by his presence and was always willing to help out other trainees, especially those younger than him. As of such he was always willing to help others whether with vocal exercises or help with dance moves. There was not a whole lot of things Daesung was confident in but his voice was something he knew got him as far as he is currently, but without Youngbae’s teachings and patience Lord knows where his dancing would be.

                Daesung is brought out of his musings about the past when the MC turns and asks him if he’s ever felt like a loser. He immediately deflects the question with the practice and ease of a seasoned Idol making such a serious question into a joke. But Dasesung knows far too well those feelings, feelings of not being good enough or of wanted to be left behind by others.

                After all is said and done there is a new Idol Group to debut whether or not G-Dragon wants it to happen or lead it. G-Dragon, Taeyang, TOP, Seungri and Daesung are Big Bang and make their debut in 2006. Daesung is labeled as the lead singer a title he shares with Taeyang which he’s just fine with gives him more excuses to be in the man’s presence under the pretenses of working on lines and harmonies. To say everything was sunshine and lollipops during the beginning would be a far stretched truth. Jiyong would talk to only Youngbae for the majority of the time, with occasional conversations about rap with Seunghyun. Jiyong is not friendly and the only leader aspects he displays in the start are about rehearsal and getting things his version of right which means constant rehearsals. For the most part he leaves Daesung alone and only talks to him to correct him about his English pronunciations or to help him through dance moves. Daesung considers himself lucky that he gets that much from Jiyong, poor Seungri, who wants nothing but to be given praise for doing a good job, gets nothing. The maknae gets the cold shoulder from their leader for months almost a year and while it drives Seungri to improve and do the best he can it also wears on him, and everyone else. Especially when one of the other members find him in tears, crying how he doesn’t know what else to do and how can he make their leader like him enough to just say two words to him.

                Daesung really needs to stop spacing out during this interview as he almost misses the cliché question fired at them this time, the if you were a girl who would you date. Daesung sighs internally, he would just love to yell out Taeyang because of his gorgeous body and even better personality and smile. “Oh G-Dragon Hyung, he has the most money!” The laughter is what was needed, he is the smiling angel after all is he not?

                Once though that was not the case, he found it very hard to smile and laugh and make it all a joke. There’s only so many times you can be called the ugly one the one only there to fill the vocal part of Big Bang, until you start to believe it. It takes years of ugly words and private breakdowns in hotel rooms for Daesung to discover that he might not be the best looking in the group but there’s nothing to be ashamed of by any means so he’s able to turn it into a joke poking at himself and his big nose before others get the chance. He still remembers some game/meet and greet they did long ago in Japan, he thinks, where they were told to draw a landscape or a mountain, he’s not sure. What Daesung does remember is the picture Jiyong drew, his face with his nose as the mountain in question. Daesung laughs it off as he has learned. At this point he knows that Jiyong is just poking fun and means no malice by the picture, he doesn’t need to know that Daesung spends the next week looking up plastic surgeons and the best places to get a nose job to lessen his. Daesung was getting in his car from the dorms to go see someone for an exam when Youngbae grabs hold of his arm and physically pulls him back inside telling him if he went through with it Youngbae would punch him in his new nose so hard that he would be back to his flat one in no time.

                On the van ride back from the interview there is some tension about the topics brought up today during the interview. Jiyong and Seungri are sitting together Seungri leaning his head on Jiyong’s shoulder like he used to do when he was younger sharing a hushed conversation, no doubt brought on by Jiyong’s past refusal to talk to the maknae. Seunghyun is next to them with a peaceful smile on his face knowing that he made the right choice to not become just an actor and is happy with his decision to keep making music with his brothers. As for Youngbae he’s sitting next to Daesung, he doesn’t seem happy but also doesn’t seem upset. In a wordless gesture Daesung grabs his hand and gives it a little squeeze. Younbae looks at their hands conjoined and gives a small quite smile.

                “The MC never really asked me if I felt like a loser.” Daesung just gives him a smile answering that how the cool and composed Taeyang could be thought of by anyone being a loser. Youngbae just leaned his head into the crook of Daesung’s shoulder giving him a small kiss there, which had Daesung having problems breathing let alone forming coherent thoughts.

                “I’m glad you never went through with the nose job…It would be a shame to ruin one of the few things that were made perfect to begin with.”

                Let’s just say these were the time where being the smiling angel couldn’t be touched and life in a cool edgy boyband from Korea was well worth it, even if there are still times he doesn’t feel like he fits in. At least he’ll always have Youngbae by his side, and that’s all he needs.