Something bright woke me up. It was either the sun’s rays or his vibrant smile. I rubbed my eyes and

sat down. I felt something last night. I am very sure it wasn’t a dream. I remember being cold and chilly. I wonder

what happened to the warmth that came from him. Am I being paranoid? Seriously, I have to stop over thinking

things.

            After many nights, I have experienced the brief chill that I have been feeling. I have come to the

conclusion that this has something to do with him. I have to find out whatever he’s doing at night.

            The night finally came. I lied down and held on to his pillow. The door opened and he goes in with his

made-up face. Doesn’t he take that off?? Wait! Maybe that’s it! I really have to catch him tonight.

            “Siwan-ah, give me my pillow,” he demanded.Not in the mood to play huh? I placed the pillow on his

side of the bed and held his hand for a few seconds. I whispered good night and let go of his hand. He smiled,

said good night and closed his eyes. This was all that I can do. I know I can do something sweeter, but I don’t

know why I can’t.

            I woke up to something dark and cold. The sun hasn’t even risen yet. He is not beside me. The clock

reads 11:00PM and I…HE IS NOT BESIDE ME?! I knew it! This explains the chills. But why? What can he be

doing at this time? I hear footsteps coming towards the room. It must be him. I went back to bed and pretended

to sleep. I could hear him entering the room, closing the door, and lying down. I waited for 10 minutes before I

could check up on him. I had to make sure he’s asleep.

            I slowly moved closer to him. I have to be careful because he is facing me. I gently moved his hair

away from his face. The full moon shone brightly towards him. I couldn’t believe my eyes. I’m seeing his fresh

and lovely face for the first time. How could he hide this from me? I couldn’t help myself. I had to let it out. I’m

gonna explode if I don’t.

            “Kwanghee-ah,” I softly said, “how could you? What am I to you? Ehi, I can’t believe you. Hiding your

beauty from me. Am I not the one who appreciates you the most? I know I don’t show it but…I…I love you…

okay? I’m in love with you! Do you hear me? Aish! Of course you don’t.” This is useless…I had to stop

myself. I’m getting carried away. I’m letting it all out at the wrong time. I shouldn’t be doing this. Not when he’s

asleep. Sniff…Aw come on!Tears? This isn’t me! Gah! I hate this!!

            “Kwanghee-ah,” I whispered and laid a soft kiss on his forehead.

            “Michidorok saranghamnida… (I love you like crazy)”

            I looked at him for the last time, turned away, and closed my eyes. I had a weird feeling that he

actually heard me because I once again felt the warmth that I longed for.

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