He didn’t have to do anything.

His eyes closed, deep in thought.

Still immersed in his music. The type where you lose yourself to the world around you.

I knew he was struggling. He always pulled out music when he was trying to avoid something.

But in that moment; that single, defining moment, with his hair glowing like caramel against the setting sun that just peaked over the skylines, I knew.

He was conflicted, yes. We were both men, yes. But I didn’t care.

In that moment, I had that core deep need to be with him. Forever. To stay by his side, day and night. To overcome anything with him.

To

Simply

Be

With him.

I was staring, but he didn’t mind. I don’t even think he realised.

I didn’t mind, either. I wanted time to stop. For the train to run forever. For the earth to stop moving. For my legs to never get tired.

So I can see him from above. His whole body, in his slouched position and cramped arms.

To us, there was no one else on the train.

“Yunho.”

Silence.

I don’t think he heard me. He might have even fallen asleep.

I need him to look at me. I need him to realise that it’s okay for two men to be together, romantically.

So I need to speak louder.

I cleared my throat, and he peeked open his eyes. They made their way up, inspecting every inch of my body on the way to my eyes.

I tried to convey with my eyes what my mouth hesitated to speak.

I only succeeded in telling him that I wanted to talk to him.

He took off an earbud.

No.

I need him to hear me clearly.

Like always, he understood.

He took both earphones out, and paused his music.

His eyes looked up at me, once again, expectant. Loving. Confused. Relaxed.

I took a deep breath. I need to keep eye contact. I have to--no. I need to tell him.

“I accept you.”

His eyes widened.

He wanted to hear this.

He needed to hear this.

But his problems didn’t vanish. They weren’t melted away.

But I nudged him in the right direction. I told him that it was okay. I told him that I need him. I told him that we didn’t need our private life to be held to the public’s standards.

He looked relieved then, if only for a moment.

I thought I saw a smile.