1 Message Received

From: Jiyong

Message: She's already here, bro.

Youngbae is staring at his phone screen for the past five minutes. He doesn't usually read his messages especially the ones from Jiyong for he knows that most of them are just full of nonsense and he usually makes phonecalls when something urgent is up. However, for that day, he actually spent time to read his message with just 16 characters in the text. Even Youngbae, himself, finds it strange.

Upon realizing he has been gawking on his phone for quite long, he shoves it back in his pocket and turns the key to start the car. "This is not the time to ponder about this, Youngbae. Not now." He told himself as he started driving away from his flat.

- - 

*Flashback*

"What are you laughing at?" Youngbae asked with furrowed brows at the woman giggling beside him. She was covering her lips to refrain from bursting out her laughter but she couldn't help it. Everything in that day was so comedic for her.

Without any choice left because of the lack of coherent response from the one beside him, he leaned closer to her and tried to peek at the phone she was holding. "Ya! Oppa!!" She exclaimed as she leaned away from him which made the latter raise both of his hands up and take his retreat. "Alright.. but it seems like you are forgetting the that the phone you're holding is mine, Chae." He then smirked, taking away his sign of surrender.

"Nuh-uh!" Chaerin shook her head and gave smug grin at Youngbae. "What's your is mine too." She stated then sticked her tongue out which earned a short chuckle from the man in front of her. "You surely know how to drop that endearmetn when you're trying to sound sweeter, huh?" That remark made Chaerin blush which Youngbae didn't miss to notice. "Gotcha! Now spill me why you were laughing earlier? What's so amusing with my phone?"

 Youngbae knows how Chaerin would turn into a shy ball once he would point out how possessive she is when it comes to him and he knows how Chaerin hates it when he would insist he's right about her being a shy ball around him. He just have knowledge of her more than anyone in the world have. "Fine! I'll tell it." Youngbae nodded at her with a victorious beam plastered on his face. "Well, I saw Jiyong's messages to you. He had 20 messages whuich were mostly about Daesung-oppa's new hair style." She clasped her hands and looked defensively at Youngbae. "I didn't intend to read it, okay? I was just playing Candy Crush but he bombarded you with texts but you always ignore him. I'm really sor--" Chaerin was stiooed when Youngbae sneakily gave her a peck on the lips. "Ya! What was that for?" She pouted as she lightly hit his chest. "To stop you from talking too much." He chuckled. "Don't worry about Jiyong, I'll call him later. And as for the fact that you read my messages, you don't have to apologize," He fixed his gaze on her eyes. and held her shoulders. "Like what you said, what's mine is yours, Chaerin." He uttered with that glee on his face.

- -

Youngbae has just parked his car at the basement of a broadcasting network when he felt his phone beeped again. Although ignoring text messages is his habit, something urged him to get his phone and read the text he received. 

1 Message Received

From: Maknae

Message: Hyung. Where are you?  Aren't you supposed to be here? 

"Not again." Youngbae reprimanded himself mentally that he should not open his phone for the next couple of hours and that he should focus on his schedule. After he closed his car, he immediately headed to the floor where the recording studio is located.

"Youngbae-ah!" Tablo called out as he noticed a familiar figure entering his studio. He then stood up to meet his dongsaeng and the two of them exchanged their welcoming bows. '"Sorry for being a little late, hyung." Youngbae bowed his head again to extend his apology. Tablo immediately patted his shoulders so the latter could quickly stand up. "You don't have to apologize, Youngbae-ah.. I was actually expecting you won't come today because I know what you're actually up to." Tablo said and gave him a knowing smile. "I'm here hyung, I should attend my schedules for today and are you on a commercial break now?" Tablo just nodded at him and was refraining himself to comment on how Youngbae was quick to change the topic. He was about to say a word but then the production staff gave them a signal to take their seats. 

As soon as Tablo is back in front of his mic and Youngbae was on the guests' seat, the radio show was on-air again. "We're back!!" Tablo cheered, "And guess who actually visited us tonight despite of all his busy schedule..." and gestured at Youngbae to start speaking, "Mianhae.. Mianhae. Hajima.." Youngbae chuckled, "Good evening, everyone! Taeyang imnida.." Tablo snickered and commented on his intro, "Aish.. You don't have to introduce yourself like that, Youngbae-ah. We all know you. and welcome again to my radio show.. Tablo imnida." Both men laughed as Tablo imitated Youngbae's tone.

"Thanks for inviting me here, hyung.I am happy to finally visit your program."

"You're always welcome and in fact your fans actually knew you're coming here so it's not a surprising thin." 

"Really?" Youngbae had the hint of surprise in his tone.

"I still have Twitter, Youngbae-ah." Tablo grinned. "They even sent you some questions that would actually help me on interviewing you tonight, well, what else could I ask given that we've been under the same company and you're actually like my son." This made the two of them chuckle again. "So shall we start the Q&A portion?"

"I can't say no to my dad. So I'm ready, Appa Blo." Youngbae shook his head to stop his laugh. 

"You could pick three questions from this fish bowl then answer them, Youngbae-ah." Youngbae then picked the white piece of paper from the bowl and handed it to Tablo. Tablo unfolded the paper and read the question loudly, "Youngbae-oppa, I just want to know how are other BIGBANG oppas doing? Haven't heard about them since the contract of the group expired in YGE. I miss you all, oppaa..- What's your take on this, Youngbae-ah?"

"Ahh. We all miss you too.. I actually didn't expect someone would ask that question.. But I want to let all our lovely VIPs know that we are all together and happy.. Although the group actually ended our contract two years ago, Jiyong and I still continued to be part of the industry. Jiyong is known by everyone as a producer now while I became a solo artist and I produce some songs too.. TOP hyung is in Paris now and he's busy with his life as a designer. Seungri is, well, everyone knows, a businessman now. Visit his cafe and stores, okay? As for Daesung, he is in Japan. Living with his fiancée. We all miss you, VIPs. I hope you are all doing well.." Youngbae wholeheartedly answer while seemingly reminiscing the past with BIGBANG and how all of them  have their separate lives now. Tablo actually smiled at his answer. He must admit that he miss seeing his dongsaengs around YG building and actually working with him. The old times are good to remember, always.

"Saranghaeyo, VIPs." Tablo added, "We all miss BIGBANG and hope they would do a reunion someday soon.. Thank you to the one who sent the question. Now we all know where BIGBANG are hiding." Tablo joked and decided to let Youngbae pick another question again. "Second question then, Youngbae." 

Since the show doesn't have the video broadcast for that day, Tablo turned off the mics and mumbled, "Dating question.." Not that Tablo wants Youngbae to avoid the question but then Tablo knows it wouldn't be a good idea to ask the question on-air. However, Youngbae just gave raised his thumbs up indicating that he would answer the question. Tablo decided then to turn the mic on and proceeded in reading the question, "Oppa, I don't want to ask about who you had and you are dating, but I just want to ask what's the most romantic date have you been in with someone you love? Just a hint will do. -- Ya! This is not a love talkshow." Tablo had his laugh. "Youngbae-ah, would you answer? What's the most romantic date you've had?"

At that point, upon hearing the question, Youngbae unknowingly had that small grin on his face. He could clearly picture the answer to the question. He could actually feel what he had felt on that glorious day but then no words would definitely narrate what he's thinking.. "It's with the girl I really really admired... it's at Japan.. We had this tour like what usual tourists would have... it's fun because we had to sneak," He gave a short laugh. "but it's romantic since we were able to stroll around and enjoy the company of one another.. Like that.. You should go watch Japanese romantic movies to know how it would actually be like." He jested which made his hyung laugh. "Ahh. I feel like we're in a Korean drama, Youngbae.. Seriously? Fans should write some stories out of this.." Tablo commented as Youngbae picked another paper again.

"Ohh. This one is interesting.. Let me read, it's from a fan in Twitter, "Youngbae-ah, I wouldn't call you oppa because I am older but I want to ask if do you sing some hiphop or slow rnb songs? If yes, could you give us a sample?-- Ahh. Youngbae could sing it for you in whole song, because you're a noona." 

"Of course I do! This is not the part of my new solo promotion, but let me sing for you and Tablo hyung, can I ask you to sing with me." Youngbae stood up and Tablo followed, "Anything for my son. What song should we do Youngbae-ah?"

"I remember Swings hyung performed that song in your radio show before,  The title is 듣고있어? (Are You Listening?). Do you have that hyung?"

Tablo quickly gave his signal to the staff if they still have the song.. He actually had an idea that Youngbae would look for a chance to sing this song regardless of the latter's purpose in coming to the radio broadcast. He's aware of Youngbae's intention. Tablo's thoughts was cut short when the staff yelled that they could play the instrumental version of Swings' song. "Alright! We are now going to perform an original song from my friend, Swings. As for the request of Youngbae's noona, we are gonna sing it with our superstar, Taeyang!" Tablo cheered  and the song started to play.

(A/N: Play the song while reading because the story is inspired by the song!^^)

Youngbae then held the mic stand and was bobbing his head along with the music. He then cleared his throat, "This is for that someone.. I hope you'll hear this." 

Are you listening?

Two years have passed,

seems like the world changed a lot.

As Tablo started to rap the first verse of the song, another flashback hit Youngbae; a moment he wish he could change, a memory he could erase. It all happened two years ago as well.. It has been that long but the pain is still fresh- it's the pain caused by regrets.

At the end of our relationship,

I was sure I wouldn't have any feelings for you.

"Is it hard for you to wait for me... is it that hard, Youngbae?" Chaerin almost whimpered as she stared right at Youngbae. Both of them were at the building's rooftop the place where they used to meet each other to avoid the piercing gazes of the crowd and where they actually found love, but at that moment, it was ironic because the warmth and comfort given by that place was immediately replaced by an atmosphere filled with shrill and surrounded by coldness. 

"What do you think? I wouldn't be like this if that would be easy, Chae. It's either you make a choice..." He drew a sharp breath and held her shoulders. 

"Are you really asking me to decide between us and my dreams? Come on... You said you'd be there for me amidst everything," Chaerin then tried to push him away, "I don't have to make a choice!" She exclaimed.

"Yes! Damn, yes." His felt the urge of anger boiled in him that he didn't know he actually cursed, "This is about us! For four long years, we managed to keep everything up but now you're going to leave just for your career? Chae, the contracts would expire. We have waited for this. We are freaking free!" He said through gritted teeth. "We planned to end all this and have all the time in the world for us but now this? You are giving me this?!" He almost shouted.

"It is my dream and it is for us for sake!" Chaerin retorted as she look away from him. Tears started to form in the side of her eyes but she was restraining herself from crying. 

"So you're choosing that damn offer?" Youngbae had a bitter smirk on his face as he was gawking at Chaerin. And as he ended up not finding that remorse in Chaerin's expression he leaned closer to her and said, "Then ing sign it. I won't care anymore. Let's end this!"

Upon hearing those words, the stream of tears started to fall from Chaerin's eyes. He was mad. She was confused. She wanted to hold on but he's the one who decided to let go easily.. She didn't want to make a choice because he was always the answer but he didn't listen. "Yes..." She barely whispered, with her voice shaking. "Let's just..... end this." She then pushed Youngbae away and briskly walked towards the exit. Youngbae didn't bother to follow her. It was to unbearable for him... With all his frustrations, Youngbae made a fist in his right hand and punched the door in front of him.

At the end of our relationship,

I was sure I wouldn't have any feelings for you.

You told me you loved me

Back then I believed in you.

Chaerin left for US two days after their devastating fight. She didn't even had the final meeting with YG as her contract ended. Youngbae didn't say a word or a thing about her and what happened to the both of them. A month after, he seemed fine after their break up. He was still the Youngbae who goofs around with s and friends. He even started to date some models and had a fling with a few girls. He's still Youngbae but then everyone knows he's not the real Youngbae- not without her.

Right after we broke up, men changed.

They kept asking your phone number.

Good girl, I'm proud of you.

A year passed and a lot of things changed. BIGBANG had its end after the termination of their contract with YG Entertainment. It was a mutual decision between both parties as three of its five members already decided that they would live a new life away from the spotlight. Meanwhile, GD and Youngbae decided to stay. GD would keep on composing and producing songs. Youngbae would continue being a solo artist. If it's all about the dream, then he's living with it too. He has been one of the top male singers and performers of Korea. He had been busy to the point that he almost forgot about her-- almost; because he could still hear news about her and how she was also doing well as a Korean artist in the international music scene.

I am sincerely jealous of your boyfriend.

If we meet, who knows I might beat him up.

I hope she makes you cry;

100 times, no 1000 times, more than I cried.

But that's impossible, that's something a devil would do.

There's one way of getting in touch with you, right?

My acting skills have gotten better, I'm crying from the insides.

"What if it's already too late?" As Youngbae heard that line, his thoughts were cut short as he felt Tablo nudged his elbow. It's the singing part of the song now.

"Time for Youngbae now, folks!" Tablo gave him a short introduction. Youngbae then smiled and started singing,

This song has to get you, it's for you, are you listening?

I just wanted to know if you still hate me.

Whether you've missed me even just once.

As he sang those lines, he could clearly picture her beautiful face in his mind. He could imagine how she would smile and laugh at him whenever they would joke and play around together. How she would whine and show him her soft side whenever she wanted him to hug her and hold her. He could still recall the way her embrace would give him warmth, the way her voice and smell could drive him crazy. He could reminisce that day when she almost cried in bliss after that night when he proposed to her.. at the top of Tokyo tower.. He could remember every little detail about her.. and God knows how he has been longing for her throughout those long cold years.

If you're listening to this song, don't worry.

Back then I didn't know that I'm addicted to you,

for your love, your love, your love.

I'm very ambitious but your love, your love.

I desperately need your love.

He held the mic stand tightly as he tried to sing his heart out. If ever she's listening, he wishes that his call for love would reach her heart. The song totally speaks what he has been keeping for years.. He was so stupid to give up and now he's willing to look and sound so stupid and desperate just to win her back. 

As Tablo felt the intensity in Taeyang's voice, he almost felt like tearing up. He can actually count the number of times he shed a tear in the toughest times of his life but this time, he could see his past self in Youngbae and he understands him.. After the chorus, Tablo took his turn to rap again while Youngbae was still feeling the song's beat and message.

Where on earth did you go to?

I waited for you in front of the house you used to live in,

you said you would move, but you really left.

You who hated steets at night, how could you live alone?

Did you by chance curse me with your friends?

I have nothing to say, even if you did, it's okay.

Do it to your heart's content until you let go off your anger.

Resenting me is tiring and frightening.

As the next verse came, Youngbae decided to rap along with Tablo.

If you forgive me and comeback to me, I'll retire from music.

You said you hated my fans, you know.

If that's what you want, I'll do anything.

There's no woman who has loved me like you.

Even if I compare all of them to you, they always lose.

They don't sell anything like you at Department Stores.

The feeling that this house doesn't exist, I feel light like fallen leaves.

Tablo then patted Youngbae's back and let him sing the last part of the song.

There's one way of getting in touch with you, right?

My acting skills have gotten better, I'm crying from the insides.

This song has to get you, it's for you, are you listening?

I just wanted to know if you still hate me.

Whether you've missed me even just once.

If you're listening to this song, don't worry.

Back then I didn't know that I'm addicted to you,

for your love, your love, your love.

I'm very ambitious but your love, your love.

I desperately need your love.

As the song ended, Youngbae bowed to quickly wipe the tears formed at the side of his eyes. He then faced his hyung again and waved to the camera with that fake smile on his face. After they performed the said song, the show continued with Taeyang's promotion of his upcoming album release  and he also performed some of his previous songs. 

At the end of the show, Youngbae hurried to get inside his car and leave the building. He was about to speed off when his felt his phone beeped again. 

3 Messages Received.

1- From: Seunghyun Hyung

Message: Fool, I'm in Paris but I know what's going on. You gotta get it, man.

2- From: Kang Daesung

Message: Hyung, we are already here. She's here. You better get it now!

3- From: Tablo Hyung!

Message: You don't want to waste time thinking about your "what ifs." You should get what you need when you still have the chance, son.

It's actually the first time, he took time to read all the messages he received in a day. It's also the first time he found himself happily smiling after two long years. This better be a good night for him.

- -

Youngbae's car reached YG Building at about 10 in the evening. After he parked his car, he made his way to go to YG's cafeteria, where the mini-welcome celebration is happening. His heart was beating really fast as if it would want to pump out of his chest. It's been a while since he felt this, it has been two years.

As he pushed the cafeteria's doors, he immediately saw Seungri running towards him. "Hyooong! You came!" The younger hysterically opened his arms and was about to hug him. "Aye. I came here for Jiyong.. not for you." Youngbae retorted which earned a pout from his maknae. Both of them walked towards the middle of the cafeteria, where cocktail tables were placed and people are busy chatting and singing with one another. 

There were a couple of people, mostly friends and staffs of YGe, in the room but then Youngbae's eyes didn't fail to see the woman who has his heart. Her back was facing him, she was talking to his best friend and both of them were gleeful in talking about their common friends in the US. He was staring at them from a close distance; Youngbae had his back leaning on one of the black cocktail tables, the one right in front of Chaerin's. "Watching her would be enough.. I guess." He thought as he sipped from the bottle of wine he was holding.

Chaerin and Jiyong were still talking when Seungri accidentally bumped Chaerin's shoulder as the former was walking backwards. This caused Chaerin to turn her back and face Seungri.. "Seungri-ya!" Jiyong and her chorused. "I'm sor--" Seungri was about to speak but then Jiyong beat him from talking first, "Youngbae!" he called out. This made the woman beside him look at the direction he was yelling at.

As he heard Jiyong, he felt the tense again right in the pit of his stomach but he collected himself up and took a glance at Jiyong (and Chaerin's direction). "Yo!" He greeted as he made steps to go beside Seungri. He took a quick look at Chaerin's face and he saw her smiling, that genuine smile she used to give him, the smile he missed. He cleared his throat and extended his hand at Chaerin, "Long time, no see, Chaerin." He softly said as Chaerin shook his hand. "It's been a while but you still have that hair color, oppa." Chaerin giggled shortly. Heaven knows how Youngbae craved for that sweet sound. "Uh.." Youngbae palced his hand on his nape, "Youngbae-hyung said someone told him he looks best in brown hair!" Seungri interjected, which caused Youngbae too lightly hit the younger's arm and made Chaerin a bit flustered. "Don't mind, Seungri." Jiyong shook his head and pulled Seungri to the side, "We'll get more drinks!" He added and gave a knowing wink to Youngbae before he left.

"I'm sorry about what Seungri said." Youngbae told Chaerin while avoiding her eyes. "It's fine.. I only left for two years and I still know that oppa well enough." Chaerin let out a chuckle, "I'm also glad that you came.. heard you went to Tablo oppa's radioshow." That statement made Youngbae quirked his eyebrow and glanced up at Chaerin.. "So.. did they play the show here?" He curiously asked, definitely yearning that she heard the song he performed just for her..

"They did.. but I was only able to hear the ending part because I was waiting outside." Chaerin apologetically answered. Youngbae's hopes crashed but then he still have his guts to make something happen at that moment. "It's alright. I was just asking. Chae.." He softly said, with an emphasis on the name he usually used to call her. "Can we talk about. --"

"Us? You want to talk about what happened to us, right?" Chaerin pointed out too quickly, looking right through his eyes. The guy in front of her just nodded. "Youngbae, I know what happened.. It's all in the past but we didn't have a decent closure.." Youngbae was staring right at her, examining the way she talks and feeling her words. "I regretted not talking to you.. for two years. However, Jiyong and others told me you were doing well but still blaming yourself for what happened to us..but I want you to know that I didn't hate you... not even once. I even hope and prayed that you'll be fine and both of us will be okay and I guess that happened." Chaerin gave him another genuine smile. "I guess you were able to find your happiness, Youngbae. Am I right?"

In her words, Youngbae couldn't find the answer he has been looking for. He can't form his words out of the letters she spilled to him. Is she asking for the happiness both of them wanted, or the happiness she wanted for him? Youngbae could just smile back at her, with that amount of hope that what he is about to answer might change everything again. Chaerin has her gaze focused at him.  With his lips about to quiver, Youngbae uttered, "Well. Yes... And happiness is right in fro--" 

"Chaerin!" Youngbae was distracted when he heard a man's voice which caused Chaerin to divert her gaze. He then saw Chaerin's expression brightened. In his curiosity,  Youngbae tilted his head to the side and saw a familiar man coming towards them.

"Ya! What took you so long I've been waiting for you." Chaerin told the guy as he stood beside her. "I got stuck in the traffic." The man reasoned and was a bit startled to see Youngbae in front of him.

"Long time no see, bro!" The guy said and patted Youngbae's shoulder.

"I thought you were overseas, Soohyuk?" Youngbae said, chuckling as he was shaking his head.

"Chaerin made me come back here with her." Soohyuk answered as he wrapped his arm around Chaerin's waist which earned a nudge from the woman. Youngbae furrowed his brows in confusion as he saw Soohyuk's actions. "What the hell is happening?" He thought but restrained himself from venting out his anger. "Pardon me, but Chaerin? Made you what?" Youngbae curiously asked.

"Wait... You didn't know yet, oppa?" Chaerin asked him back.

"Know what?" Youngbae retored, with that tone of agitation.

"Chaerin and I have been together since last year, bro. It happened when I studied in US." Soohyuk answered as he insisted on holding Chaerin closer to him.

"I thought you already know, oppa..." Chaerin barely said.

" I didn't know.. Seungri must have forgotten to tell me. Ha!" Youngbae made mocking laugh. "Well, I must ask him then so please excuse me. And oh, congratulations to the both of you." Youngbae flashed them his bitter smile and walked out of the scene.

He went out of the place with his heart shattered.

With his being broken.

With his world empty.