Takuya held back his tears as he looked at the letter which was at the table of someone he really loved so much..

“Why..?”,he whispered as he leaned at the wall,“Why did you have to leave me,Wonho hyung?”

“I love you hyung..why?”

‘ Dear Takuya,

It’s been a while, I guess. We stopped talking for a long period of time since you’re so busy on filming with Jaejoon. The two of you are getting

really close,right? Oh, I’m so jealous, he can do stuff with you like that and the whole world has to see it even me.. and you know what?

It hurts so much... it hurts so much that I could die.

He can cuddle with you, sleep with you and he even kissed you. While you’re ignoring and pushing me away for that person. I smile, I smile to hide the pain. It hurts,Takuya. It hurts so much.’

**

“Hyung!”,Yongseok screamed as Shin was pushed away by Takuya,“Takuya hyung! You don’t need to be harsh at Wonho hyung.”

“I'm not in the mood for any  cuddling or anything that was involved with that .”,Takuya stated in a cold tone as he was about to go inside his room

“Takuya! Take that back!”,Seyoung said in a scary way.

“C-Calm down.”,Shin smiled,“No need to be mad at Takuya. He’s tired,go get some sleep now Takuya. Good night.”

But he hadn’t received any response from the younger.

**

You were always tired. Everytime you come home, you’re always tired. Oh,I nearly forgot. You barely come here at the dorm, we didn’t even know where are you staying for the night. I’m always waiting for you,Takuya.. always. 

**

“Hyung, you’re the visual for pete’s sake! Go get some rest!”,Sangmin stated as he looked at Shin

He shook his head,“No, I don't want Takuya to see that I’m not waiting for him.”

“But you look so tired,hyung. Just sleep for a while..”,he said as he patted his shoulder

Shin just smiled at him,“No. I'm fine,promise.”

**

To be honest, I really can’t sleep. I really can’t, sometimes I didn’t even realize that I’m already sleeping but that’s for a few minutes. I have to stay awake for you. I want to be the one who will greet you once you come here at the dorm.

But all I get is a cold shoulder and a glare, but still, I’m happy. Because you’re back, all of the days that I’ve been waiting for you had been paid off. All I ever wanted us to be with you and hug you as I sleep.

**

“T..Takuya?”,Shin poked his cheek.

“What do you want?”,he asked in an irritated tone.

“Can I sleep beside you?”,Shin asked him and Takuya looked at him.

“No. Get lost, I don’t want to sleep beside you.”,Takuya mumbled.

“W-Why?”,Shin asked him.

“I’m tired. Go away.”,Takuya hissed as he plugged his earphones and closed his eyes.

Shin looked at him once again and smiled before going outside their room and sat at the couch, staring at nowhere ad he hugged his pillow.

“I can’t sleep once again.”,Shin stated as he continued staring at nowhere

**

I can’t sleep because I don’t want to. It’s not like I’m not tired, to be honest.. I’m so tired. I just couldn’t close my eyes because everytime I tried to, thoughts had been running in my mind that makes me scared.. of losing you.

What if Joonjae is with you right now? What if you already fell for him? What if you’re getting tired of seeing me and wanted to date him instead?

Those thoughts kept me wide awake. I’m scared.. terrified... sad.. and broken. I need you Takuya, I don’t need anybody else. It’s you. Only you.

I have these pills with me to let me sleep for a while but I’m scared, what if while I’m sleeping, you’re already gone? You’re already with Joonjae? This is the reason why I shouldn’t sleep.

**

“Wonho, you’ve been like this for months. Cut it out!”,Casper scolded him and sighed,“We’re all getting worried, even Manager hyung is getting worried too.”

“But I’m fine.”,Shin smiled widely,“See?”

“Wonho, you can’t fool anyone this time. You ‘need’ to rest. Whether you like it or not.”,Casper said.

“I don‘t need one. I’m not tired.”,Shin said in a low tone.

The door opened and they looked at Takuya who just arrived.

“Oh, it’s been weeks since you came home.”,Seyoung said in a sarcastic tone.

“So what?”,Takuya spat.

Shin smiled and stood,“Y-You’re home!”

But Takuya didn’t even spare a glance at him and walked straight at their room. Shin’s smiled faded a little but he just sighed and sat at the couch while hugging his pillow.

The others looked at him with sadness and worry in their eyes but just left the living room to go into their rooms.

****

Takuya started crying out loud while screaming as he stopped reading the letter. He needed to finish this damn letter but he can’t right now..

Shin Wonho left him.. he left for good.