jimin usually wakes up in the middle of the night

there's no stopping it, dreams or nightmares. it haunts him from his sleep even up to reality. it's scary how words can shot you down for being not enough. because it's always the same, not being enough. park jimin not being enough.

jimin grew up with a loving family but not with loving classmates who always try to make a mess out of him every time a chance was given. jimin was a nerd, a loner, a nobody. from the past til now, he's never enough.

he wakes up in the middle of the night, just like he always does, as if he already has a schedule fixed for it. for the fact that he was finally what he dreamt to be, was such an achievement. he strived so hard, all the dieting, exercising, dancing, studying, time-consuming, efforts paid off just for being an idol.

and yes, he was an idol. with their group name, bulletproof boy scouts and songs that they sang represented how strong they are to overcome all those can'ts to cans, fears to strengths, tears to smiles, and pains to experience. but as much as jimin is, he's just a vocal, who sings a part of the songs, and no matter how much it feels, bulletproof doesn't seem to fit him. there's already so much pain that even band-aids can't fix it.

today, they have no schedule and he's sleeping next to jungkook. he wonders how the younger always easily slip past the elder and takes about half of his bed without waking him up. but he doesn't care, he's actually thankful to be able to feel jungkook's warmth just like how jungkook feels his.

jimin tries his absolute best not to wake jungkook up, and he succeeded. he fixes himself some hot chocolate to help himself snooze back to dreamland. this night wasn't the first time he woke up, it feels like some stupid tradition that his mind does, always making him feel stupid when he already is one, liar, bulletproof my .

he goes back in and it surprises him to see jungkook sitting up straight, rubbing his eyes like a kid who lost his candy, he yawns and looks up at jimin, "why're you up so early?", and jimin doesn't even answer him and just kisses the living daylight out of him. jungkook smiles, "come back to bed hyung, it's still two am", jimin smiles against his lips and does so.

they're both facing each other when he lays down beside jungkook who has his eyes closed and lips still visibly smiling. "what'd you dream about?", jungkook mumbles but clear enough for jimin to understand. jimin's nightmares wasn't really much of a secret to jungkook, because jungkook always feel lost when jimin's warmth was gone.

jimin doesn't say anything, not even moving an inch, just his eyes fixated on jungkook's hair. jungkook opens up his eyes, cups jimin's cheeks with both hands and kisses his forehead. jungkook doesn't really like to initiate kisses, even if they were alone, even if its just chaste kisses, so it surprises jimin a bit. jungkook hugs jimin as if jimin's body fitted his, when it really does. jimin was small and jungkook was big, they fitted like how mother bear and father bear does in the children's songs, just perfect.

jimin feels his warmth and he could feel sleep coming to him as his eyelids droop slowly. "you're enough jimin-ah, you're perfect and i love you, now get back to sleep", sometimes jungkook is a mind reader, maybe not, maybe just because he's got jimin all founded out. it's not like jimin's feelings are scattered around, but to jungkook, there's a need that he has to understand. they have another day to talk about it, all jungkook needs now is jimin to sleep against his strong arms. he sleeps soundly that night and when he wakes up he doesn't forget to say it back.

"i love you too", he sleeps better even the nights after.

jimin usually wakes up in the middle of the night, thankfully, just a cup of hot chocolate and a kiss on the forehead for slumber to lure him back

writing about sleep cause i don't get enough of it