Chapter 9: Love Songs

The day of the Live Show finally arrived. It was being held at the school's cavernous gymnasium, and the stands were filled to the brim with teachers and students, all expecting a rocking good time from each of the finalists.

Mick sat with his band on the bleachers, watching as the first of the fifteen acts started to perform. His hands twisted themselves into his blue shorts nervously.

"Hey, relax and have fun," Heng said, who was sitting beside him. "You'll be fine."

Mick nodded, though he still felt nauseous. He'd hardly eaten anything during lunch. He wasn't the only one with butterflies in his stomach though. Fin, their lead singer, actually had to run to the toilet and puke, but everyone else in the band assured Mick that it was normal, and that he always managed to deliver a good vocal, still.

Mick was still pretty exhausted after volunteering to help set up the gymnasium until dinnertime the day before, mostly to keep Om company. There had been too many people around, though, so they didn't actually spend much time together except for a few minutes of conversation. His gaze wandered to the judges table, where Om sat. The senior was looking intently at the band on stage, occasionally taking notes or marking scores. He looked very handsome, and serious.

Om, the first guy he'd ever kissed. Mick closed his eyes, unable to stop himself from smiling at the memory of their brief kiss. He'd run over that memory in his mind practically non-stop, until even his mom and sister had to ask him to stop daydreaming and concentrate on his chores while he was at home. He wanted to tell them - tell the whole world, in fact- but Om had asked him to keep it quiet.

Mick frowned. Om had apologized for the kiss, actually. He said he hadn't meant for it to happen. 

Then why had he gone for it in the first place? Why tell me he likes me, kiss me, then apologize? Mick pouted at the thought.

It was frustrating to say the least. They'd sat for a while that day, talking quietly. Om had told Mick that he was still exploring his feelings for the younger boy, and Mick accepted that. He didn't want to rush things either. But now he wasn't sure where they stood. More than friends, certainly, but also less than boyfriends? 

Boyfriends don't apologize after kissing, do they?

He didn't deny that he yearned for Om every single minute of the day. The kiss had intensified his feelings for the senior in ways he never knew it could. He wanted more. More of Om's kisses, in his mouth, right now! 

Was this love? How could something so wonderful be so torturous at the same time? He wondered.

The good thing was that Om now communicated with him much more freely than before. He never failed to reply Mick's messages, or to wish him sweet dreams at night. They hadn't managed to meet up over the weekend, but Om had called him late on Saturday to talk.

***

Apparently Om had spent Friday night at Noh's, his best friend and the music club president, where they'd had an impromptu party and consumed copious amounts of alcohol. Mick had been seriously shocked at how much Om and his friends could drink. Mick hadn't had so much as a drop of beer in his life, since that had been one of the things that had led his parents to divorce. His mom now refused to allow alcohol of any sort in their house, although Mick was quite curious to find out how it tasted like.

"Yeah, you might need to wait a year or so before you can join our parties, Mick," Om had chuckled his his deep voice. "Per and Knott were there but they succumbed pretty early," he said, referring to two of the music club members in the 10th grade.

"Speaking of which," Om's voice turned serious. "Per saw us hugging on Wednesday."

"Oh," Mick said, startled. "What did he say?"

"Nothing much. He didn't see us kiss, thank god. I barely survived the ragging as it were. Thankfully I managed to turn the conversation to Noh and Phun. Something's definitely up between the two, I know it."

"P'Phun?! And p'Noh?!" Mick exclaimed. He only knew Phun by sight. Of course everyone in the school knew the rich and handsome Student Council secretary but Mick couldn't imagine him and Noh together as a couple, although he felt they made for a cute one.

"Yeah, and keep it to yourself okay. I'm only telling you this because I trust you. You know how it is to be the target of rumors," Om warned. Mick indeed knew. He still hadn't told Om about Mum, but since nothing else had happened, he decided to let it go, hoping Mum would have somehow overcome his jealousy.

"So what did you say to Per?" Mick asked. He heard a sigh on the other end.

"What could I say? Just deny everything. And say there's nothing going on between us."

Mick stayed silent. He hadn't really expected Om to own up to anything, but he was disappointed all the same. What am I to you then?

"Are you mad at me, Mick?" Om asked, a note of concern in his voice. 

Now it was Mick's turn to sigh. "No. Maybe. I don't know."

"I really didn't know what to say. I mean, I know we agreed to let things happen slowly, but...admitting it to all of them at once is a big -"

"P'Om, it's okay. I understand. Really, I do," Mick interrupted. The last thing he wanted was to push Om into doing something he didn't want. If it meant keeping things on the down low for now, Mick would just have to endure it.

"I just wanted to protect you too, Mick. Now that Per and the rest know, it'll be all over the school before you know it. Just...be prepared for that."

Mick was actually secretly pleased. Perhaps now that everyone knew - or at least suspected- he was with Om, the attention on him would die down. 

"So...p'Noh and p'Phun huh?" Mick tried changing the subject. "That's unexpected."

"Yeah. It all started when we had problems with the music club's budget. Then Noh started spending a lot of time with Phun, even sleeping over and skipping school together. He never skips school unless it's with me!" Om ranted, and Mick could detect a note of jealousy in his tone.

"Maybe they just became really good friends?" Mick ventured.

Om snorted in derision. “They’ve known each other for years and years and now suddenly they’re tight? Noh tells me everything. If it was just a normal friend he'd come out and say it. But now he's purposely hiding something from me and it's -" he paused, sighing. "It's frustrating that's all."

"Don't worry p'Om. If you and p'Noh are really that close then he's sure to tell you one day, right? Like you said earlier, admitting to the guys is a pretty big step. Maybe he too wants to be sure of his relationship before he says anything."

Om kept silent for a while. "I can't believe I'm taking advice from a 15 year old," he finally muttered. 

“What’s that p’Om?” Mick pretended he didn’t hear.

“Oh…nothing…it just feels nice to be able to tell someone this without getting teased about it. The other guys would think I’m too sensitive and all that .”

Mick smiled. It felt good to be needed.

***

"Let's go get ready, it'll be our turn soon," Loy said to them as a band finished their set, followed by cheering and clapping. Competition this year seemed especially fierce and talented, it seemed. They watched from the sides as the band before them took the stage. 

It was P'Queer, and they consisted of members of the cheerleading club, led by their handsome  and fit president, Earn. They started off with a song Mick recognized with a smile. It was 7 Words by the Deftones, the song Mick had pretended to like to impress Om. Earn certainly had the courage to sing an alt metal song with so many obscenities in it in the middle of the school gym surrounded by teachers but apparently that was the cheer president's style.

"Oh my god, he's doing it again!" Loy said, as P'Queer began playing their third and final song. It sounded like a ballad, by the looks of it.

"Do what?" Mick asked.

"P'Earn! He's singing to p'Noh again!"

“I've been practicing this song since I knew that I was about to get my heart broken," they heard Earn announce in his deep voice. "I still hope you'll think about it again."

Everyone stayed silent as he played a heartfelt song, occasionally flashing his dimpled smile at the judges table. Mick saw Om sniggering and nudging at Noh, who seemed stunned. Mick glanced at the stands, searching for Phun. He found the student council secretary sitting with the rest of his band, his face stony as he watched Earn perform. Maybe there was something between them after all, Mick thought. P'Noh sure was lucky.

“Right in the middle of the gym, man! The balls of steel!” He heard Om yell to loud laughter from the stands after P'Queer finished their set. 

"Alright guys, you're up next," the MC said to them, and they took their places on stage. Mick quelled the fluttering in his stomach and risked a glance at Om, who was now being nudged and teased by Noh in revenge. Om gave Mick a quick, barely perceptible nod, but that was all the encouragement he needed. 

"Okay guys this is it, don't screw it up!" Mum announced to the rest but he was staring squarely at Mick as he said it. Mick lifted his chin defiantly. He wasn't going to let anyone down today.

Just relax. And have fun. Mick took a deep breath as the MC introduced their band's name to loud laughter and cheers. Then they started their set with an upbeat ska song.

All things considered, it wasn't a bad performance at all. Mick knew they weren't perfect, but everyone threw their heart and soul into it. Fin sang his little heart out and bounced around the stage, full of energy, showing no sign of the fact that he'd just puked his guts out minutes before. Mick did make the mistake of glancing at Om while he was playing though, and almost missed a note when the senior smiled at him, which earned him a frown from Mum.

It was all over too soon and the seven of them went off the stage, still high on a buzz after their performance. 

"We did it guys! Let's hear it for the Seven Dwarves!" Loy cried, and they whooped and hollered, high fiving each other. 

"Let's just hope it's enough for the top three spot. Assuming the judges overlook our mistakes," Mum looked over at Mick, who just turned red.

"Don't be a spoilsport, Mum. Everyone did their part," Loy said, putting his right arm across Mum's shoulders and his left around Mick. "Come on, let's enjoy the rest of this party. P'Oak and his All Stars are next and they're awesome!"

They took their seats once again, finally able to relax and enjoy the show. The All Stars lived up to their name, and their set left everyone else in awe. It was like watching a professional band perform instead of a school one. Mick and the rest sang along to songs they knew unabashedly at the top of their lungs, laughing whenever anyone went off key.

"Look, it's the Mafia!" Heng said, pointing at the members of the student council band now taking the stage, including Phun on the guitar. They were the second last band of the day, and everyone was feeling great. The entire gym stood and danced as they started playing tuneful dance songs, including Mick and even Om at the judge's table, who was trying to convince Noh to dance along too. 

“We're ending the party right here since the ugliest guy in our band suddenly wants to sing," the lead singer for Mafia announced sarcastically to much laughter and hollering. Phun was soon the only one on stage, and the noise died down as the handsome senior started to sing an incredibly touching love song. 

It was "I'm Glad To Have You" by Boyd, one of Mick's favorite love songs ever. He mouthed the words along to Phun, and the entire gym fell silent, captivated by the raw emotion in the student council secretary's voice. The lyrics were incredibly beautiful, and Mick couldn't help but glance over at Om, hoping to catch his eye.

I'm glad to have you in my life 

I'm glad to have met you 

You are the only encouragement I have 

In every single minute 

I'm glad to have you in my life 

No matter what I will face 

I'm at ease 

Knowing that you will be right here 

Om turned to face Mick right at that moment, and their gazes locked across the distance. Mick knew his eyes were beginning to brim with tears, but he didn't care. The lyrics spoke for themselves, and he hoped that Om was listening.

Om gave him a crooked smile, and a wink Mick knew was just for him, before turning back to the stage. Mick felt a warm glow spread through him from that, and he smiled despite himself.

A thunderous ovation echoed throughout the gym as everyone leaped to their feet to give Phun a standing ovation. Mick realized he wasn't the only one with tears in his eyes, and even Phun was wiping his eyes as he bowed. Even though he hadn't sung or played perfectly, Mick and everyone else in the place could feel the powerful sincerity in his voice. He was definitely singing it with someone in his mind, and Mick was so happy for Noh, that he'd found not one, but two people who loved him enough to declare it to the world through song.

Would there be a day when someone sings like that for me? He wondered wistfully. But for now, Mick had to be content with what he shared with Om.