(( A/N Yay, two day late update because of being busy with con. But at least it's two days earlier than when I thought that I was going to be updating.

:3c I don't think there's much to say. Yay for Chanyeol finally accepting and wanting help, now we can finally get things going x3 ))

Chapter Eleven:
You’re as close as it gets without touching me 11

“You planning on coming back home for winter break this year?”

“I had a feeling you were calling me to ask that,” Chanyeol replied, leaning his head back against the wall his bed was against, turning the volume on his mobile up a little.

“Mom and I miss you a lot,” Came the reply along with a giggle. “You don’t come home as much as you said you would. I mean, I sorta expected that, but still,” Chanyeol shook his head, smiling faintly.

“Yeah, I plan on coming home, the second or third day into break,” He replied.

“Let me know at the end of the week what day you decide and I can come get you. We can go out to eat and catch up before mom attacks you with a dozen questions.”

“Thanks Noona.” Chanyeol replied, not even looking to the door when it opened as he had finally gotten used to Jongdae walking in whenever he felt like it. “I gotta go. Talk to you later.” he said, ending the call as Jongdae arched an eyebrow at him. “My sister, not a dealer.” He stated, the lack of skepticism in the other’s eyes being what surprised him.

“Let’s go,” Jongdae said, receiving a small frown from Chanyeol.

“Go where?”

“Hongdae.”

“Why are we going to Hongdae?” Chanyeol asked, getting up from his bed and grabbing his wallet before slipping into his shoes.

“I swear those pills rot your brain,” Jongdae deadpanned. “Shopping, what else would we do in Hongdae?” He asked, opening the door and leading the way out of Chanyeol’s dorm.

“Why did you have the sudden need to go shopping in Hongdae?” Chanyeol asked, looking behind himself when he heard no reply. Frowning when Jongdae was nowhere in sight, he sighed a little – why did the other like disappearing in crowded places? – before back tracking past half a dozen stores before he saw Jongdae again. The brunet was staring at a display through the window of one of the shops and Chanyeol wasn’t sure how to interpret the expression etched into his features. He stopped beside Jongdae, eyes trailing over the way his lips were parted, one palm against the glass, an almost dazed look to his eyes.

“Jongdae?” Chanyeol called, his brows knitting together when the other didn’t look away from the window. He followed the other’s gaze, finding it fell on what looked to be a music box in the shape of a piano. “We can go into the store and get it, you know,” He said, looking back to Jongdae, who still appeared completely unaware that Chanyeol was talking to him. “Hey, Jongdae,” The brunet didn’t even blink, and Chanyeol reached out.

His fingers barely brushed against the other’s shoulder and Jongdae flinched, turning to face Chanyeol as the hand that had been on the window came up as if to smack the black haired male. Chanyeol jerked back a step, eyes wide as Jongdae stared at him for a long moment before the focus returned to his eyes and he lowered his hand.

“What?” He huffed and Chanyeol stared at him a moment longer before pulling his hand back from Jongdae’s shoulder.

“You were staring like a zombie through that window when I noticed you weren’t right next to me. I tried to tell you we could go in and get that music box you were staring at and you didn’t even hear me, and then you tried to hit me when I tried to snap you out of whatever your zoning out was,” He explained slowly, watching the way the irritation faded from the brunet’s expression, and he looked back to the window. “Is everything alright?” He asked before Jongdae walked past him.

“Forget it.” He ordered and Chanyeol followed after him, looking back at the store curiously.


It was close to two hours later when they took a break to eat, and as the waiter took their orders they offered their menus. After he left them Chanyeol folded his arms under himself on the table, learning forward a little.

“You going to get anything for your not-boyfriend?” Chanyeol asked and Jongdae squinted at him. “Yifan?” Chanyeol pressed, cringing as pain shot up his leg from his shin and he reached down to rub the now sore area. “You didn’t have to kick me, a simple no would have worked.”

“You’re being stupid, that’s why I kicked you,” Jongdae replied, taking a drink of his water.

“I just thought that was what you were staring at earlier. Something you wanted to get for him,” Chanyeol said, noticing the way Jongdae’s shoulders tensed, frowning in response. “You know you can talk to me, right?” He said, leaning a little further forward and Jongdae shifted as far back as the booth would allow him. “I know that I’m a pain in your , and cause you a lot of trouble… but I consider you a friend. I hope that you feel the same.” The brunet didn’t relax as Chanyeol spoke, the black haired male was pretty sure he actually got even tenser instead and Chanyeol sat back, his shoulders slumping a little. He looked down at his lap, shaking his head and closing his eyes.

“You’re… not as bad as you were three months ago,” Chanyeol jumped a little, opening his eyes and looking to Jongdae. “You were a bigger pain before… back when you didn’t listen to me, and you kept being a ,” Jongdae continued, looking anywhere but at Chanyeol, his face a little scrunched up, obviously uncomfortable as if he was forcing himself to speak. “But after Yifan and I found you and you started listening, doing exactly as I told you when it came to your meds… You stopped being so much of a chore.”

“That’s something I’ve been wondering about,” Chanyeol started. “I called you dozens of times, and left almost as many messages. Why did you answer that time? I was so sure you were done with me.” Jongdae glanced over at him for a moment before he busied his gaze around the restaurant, then down to mess with a loose string from his shirt.

“I got a bad feeling… Last time I ignored a feeling like that, I never forgave myself,” He said, the waiter returning with their food before Chanyeol could try to pry, and he saw the way Jongdae began to shovel food into his mouth. He got the feeling that it was to avoid answering any other questions Chanyeol would’ve tried to ask. Chanyeol watched him for a moment before he turned to his own food. That was the closest to opening up that Jongdae had ever gotten with him, and he wasn’t about to try to push to know more in the likelihood that it would cause the other to close back up, probably for good.


“You’re taking less of your pills, aren’t you?” Jongdae asked, slipping on his jacket as he stood from the table, picking up the bag of things he had brought through their travels in Hongdae. Chanyeol grabbed his own as he got up from the table as well, nodding.

“Yeah. I still take them every night, but some of the anxiety’s gone away so I don’t take any through the day. I deleted Yixing’s number after I agreed to listen to you too,” He explained, following Jongdae’s lead out of the restaurant. “I was even able to get the nerve to apply to the university I want to transfer to at the end of next term, so hopefully I’ll hear back soon,” He trailed off, slowing to a stop and looking across the street. He heard a familiar tune and before he could ask Jongdae if they could get a closer look the brunet was already half way across the crosswalk, looking back at him.

“You’re so slow, come on,” Chanyeol smiled faintly, hurrying after him and stopping once they reached the group of four people watching a middle aged man playing the guitar. They stood there for close to ten minutes before the musician strummed to a stop, Chanyeol being the first of the onlookers to start clapping. The musician slowly looked up and around the faces of the small group, locking onto Chanyeol’s and smiling at him.

“You wanna give it a try?” He asked and Chanyeol blinked, looking around before back to the musician.

“Me?”

“Yeah,” The musician replied, pulling the strap over his head and standing, offering the guitar to him. “I know that look you’ve got in your ever; I get the feeling you know your way around one of these.” He said, stepping to the side and gesturing for Chanyeol to take his seat. Chanyeol looked to Jongdae, who didn’t offer enough of a readable expression to help his nerves and he swallowed the lump that was forming in his throat before he walked past the whispering group and sat where the musician had been. He looped the strap over his head, shifting the guitar a little before he put his hands in position, cringing a little at how his first strum sounded.

“Just relax, kid,” The musician said and Chanyeol looked up at him. “Let the music take care of you.” Chanyeol took a deep breath, letting it out slowly as he gave a single nod, and then looked down at the guitar. When was the last time he played? Almost two years? It was back before he woke up in the hospital; he had so much to catch up on after he started going back to school that he didn’t have time to pick it back up.

He took another slow breath before he started to play, slowly and softly at first but it wasn’t long before he was playing loud enough to draw several others from the street and Jongdae looked around at the crowd, his eyes eventually falling back onto Chanyeol and they widened a little. As the black haired male played, the smile that danced across his lips met his eyes for the first time that Jongdae had seen in the year since they had met.