Being a bully was my thing. I mean like don't you see the fun of it? I don't care who you are, whether you're a girl or a guy, it doesn't matter. It's my job to bully people for my own satisfaction. There's nothing you can do about it? There's nothing anyone could do about it. 

I grew up in a loving family whereby my mum and dad makes out every single day. They are a happy couple. And my mum brings home her friends to have tea and all. My dad is always with his work. I am always at home studying and making my parents proud. Do I have a girlfriend? Yes ofcourse I do. The most intelligent Cha Eun Sang.

I cannot resist her. She's super cute and super super annoying. I wish I could show her to you. I'm sure you would want to be her boyfriend too. We met back in school when I made a move to talk to her and she responded nicely. She came to me like a flower blooming beautifully. Oh I can't forget how she likes to make fun of me. She makes fun of me everytime I get jealous of Chanyoung being close to her. I can't forget laying in bed with her with our hands interlocked, staring at the white ceiling imagining our lives in the future. I wanna have kids with her. She said she wants 2 but I told her I wanted a football team. I still remember the look she have on her face when I said that. I like teasing her. She was perfect. She was my Cha Eun Sang.

I have a best friend too. His name is Tan, Kim Tan. Kim Tan is a really cool guy. We would always play soccer together and I would always beat him in it. He doesn't have the skills though so it's funny when he plays. He will always be by my side during my ups and downs. I'm really thankful for that. Kim Tan has a fiancée who's really pretty and rich. Rachel is her name. A diva she is. I always wish the best for his marriage life with her.

They said I grew up wrong despite having a happy family, a beautiful girlfriend and an awesome best friend.

But you know.... all that never happened. 

Being a bully wasn't my thing. I mean like do you see the fun of it? I care about who you are, whether you're a girl or a guy. It matters. It's not my job to bully people for my own satisfaction. I live the way I want.

But here's the thing reader. 

It's the people around me that changed me to become what I am now.

I am not your typical rich kid Choi Young Do who strives for best. I'm the worst Choi Young Do you can ever have.

I am a bully. I love it. I love what I do. I choose who I want to bully. I choose those who looked down on me. 

I didn't grew up in a happy family. What's a happy family? Do you even know what that means? If you think happy means watching your dad bring s back home to make out and have , then good for you. If you think happy means having your mum disappear even before you could see her, then good for you. If getting beaten up by your own dad for the smallest mistakes or maybe things that you didn't even do, then good for you. Good for you! Because you'll grow up well in that kind of family, I'm sure of it.

I have no girlfriend. What's a girlfriend? Who? Cha Eun Sang? Says who? She's a isn't she? I did all I could to make her notice me but she didn't because of all the rumours about me being a bully. That's why she's staying away. I told you I only bully boys, but I guess I'm wrong. She's the first girl I bullied. I crave for her attention but no matter how hard I try, I never get it. She only acknowledges me when I do something bad. But she hates me. There was a time when I went to her cafe, but she asked me to go away because she thought that I was there to disturb her but the actual fact is I was just lonely. She couldn't even see that.

Kim Tan? A friend? I have no friends. How is he a friend when he didn't tell me that my mum was going to leave me? He only told me at the last minute when he decided to change his mind but my mum was long gone. He has a fiancée but he takes my Cha Eun Sang away. That's why that girl never pays attention to me because he's there to blind her from me. He makes the anger inside of me build up even more. We don't play soccer together, I lied. We never did. Because of my anger, I decided to leave him. We're not friends.

Even now, Rachel is going to be my step-sister. you dad for trying to marry another.

I am sorry Myung Soo. You're a true friend, but I can't... I can't. I hope you'll live a good life in the future. Without me? You're still somebody. Be loved. Stay strong Myung Soo.

They didn't know the reason why I bully. They didn't know how bad my life is. But they judge me like they know every single thing. I tried ignoring it, but it never works. I tried being nice before I turned into a bully but everyone already thinks that I'm one even before I did anything. Call me an attention seeker because I seek for attention everywhere but did you know? I never had any for my entire life. Everything I did was wrong. I'm confused. Then why was I born? Just to keep the company going? I don't see the meaning of me living anymore. Right now, I'm breaking down the wall that is hiding my true feelings.

At exactly 12AM tonight, I will take my last breath for the rest of my life. I'm sorry world, I can't take it anymore. 

I was bullied before I turned into one myself. A monster I am, a monster I will be.

Goodbye.

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'Choi Young Do, son of CEO of Zeus Hotel, Choi Dong Wook, ended his life yesterday night over at Han River leaving only a note and one side of his shoes. No other clues were found. If there was anyone who witness this, please call 1800-0099-234.'

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'It was a suicide miss, we're still investigating. We will try our best to find your son.'

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'Choi Dong Wook you are under arrest for the abuse of your child Choi Young Do. Follow me.'

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'Choi Young Do is dead?'

'We didn't even get to say sorry!'

'I'm regretting every single thing I've done to him.'

'He bullies people but I know there's some kind of reason for it.'

'I don't know... I feel really guilty now.'

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'My brother is now dead. I couldn't even love him. I made use of him for what I want, but I realised he never gets what he wants. I'm sorry.. Oppa. I'm sorry Choi Young Do.'

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'I know I've been ignoring you and I'm really sorry for not giving you a single chance. I'm sorry Choi Young Do. I will regret this all my life.'

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'I'm sorry for not telling you about your mum. I'm sorry for stealing Eun Sang away. I'm sorry for hating on you. I'm sorry Young Do.'

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'Now that he's dead, all of you are here to notice him for a good person? Only when he's dead? What kind of s are you? Be ashamed of yourselves! I, Jo Myung Soo, will not allow any one of you to enter the funeral hall! You guys don't deserve to be here. You guys don't deserve his forgiveness. Get lost!'

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Now that I'm gone... Everyone realizes their mistakes... I guess that's how my life is.... This is how I decided to end my misery. This is how my story ends.