One look.

All it takes is one simple look to take my breath away. His gaze pierces through mine as his eyes shine brightly like fireworks lit up in the sky, it twinkles with his every blink. It's so beautiful. He's beautiful. 

I could see galaxies in them. And it makes me lost in dreamland with nothing but the fact that I cannot take my eyes off of him. I was drowning in his beautiful pair of eyes; it is so alluring and cunning. For a moment there, all I could see are rainbows and clouds, so beautiful that I wish it could be like that for eternity. 

"Hey Ji!" He mouthed at me and waves, smiling enthusiastically.

I waved back and points to the sit next to me, telling him that I saved him a seat like any other day. 

He gestured for me to wait as he hurriedly run backwards, still smiling. After that, he looks where he's going and speeds up more. I bet he's going to be at the back of the school, hanging out with his boys first thing in the morning like any other day.

I watch his back as I smiled slightly. His hair is bouncing all the way as his bag that hangs only in one strap on his right shoulder sways. My gaze is on him until he disappears completely on my sight and into my mind. The man himself makes my day. He's the kind of guy any girl would love to meet their parents. The type that any person can luckily have. Someone that would make the best of you without even knowing it. The man who would make you fall for him without you wanting it. He's amazing like that.

Blinking a few times, I shook the man on my mind away and turned to look at the other side where the windows are placed. I leaned my head on the window frame and watch the outside whereas the other students are having fun with each other. There's Minhyuk who plays the guitar as the others sing along with him, some dances to the beat and some just listens while there's an evident smile on their faces that shows they like it. It's kind of loud but no one cares, it's been like that since our batch steps in high school. We like it like that. Everyone is just having fun with life and making the most of it while we can. The teachers have made no attempt to stop us or lessen our fun in the past, I think they like it. Parents are just happily watching us every end of school year. It's fun. We are the closest than any batches that stepped into this school. We know everyone and treat each other well. The relationships that we have are one step closer to brothers and sisters. That's how much we treasure each other.

But it's gotta end.

We're already in our Fourth Year. Everything's the last year we're gonna do something together. Last year of fun. Last year of smiles. Last year of laughters. Last year of cries. Last year of hardships. It's the last year of creating memories together.

After that, we're on our own, we would go to another school as we adjust with other people for the second time. Everything would be new. New smiles. New laughters. New cries. New hardships. New friends. Even so, I wish this won't end. 

They are special to me. They're my family. I met them when I was too busy crying my heart out to the thought of school and my mom leaving me so she could go home and clean the house when I was five. They helped me alot and they gave me everything they could give. I met them when I thought I was having the hardest time of my life, when I don't even wanna talk to anyone else. I met him with these people. 

What are you thinking of?

My thoughts was distracted when a hand taps a ballpen on the desk lightly. I look at the guy beside me with a confuse expression on my face as he pointed his lips downwards to the desk and taps the paper he placed in front of me again.

I smiled at his sense of communication, especially right now that there's a teacher in front. He had always been like this ever since we've been close. There's no way I can change that. I grab my ballpen on the drawer under my side of the desk and replied:

There's only a year left  :(

I smiled at him lightly as I watch him read it and then he knitted his brows together in attempt to tell me that I'm wrong. How can I be wrong when I know I'm right? I shrugged and puffed my cheeks. Sighing, he reached for the paper and scribble words to it before placing it back in front of me. I look down on the paper and smiled at myself, he altered the one that I wrote.

What are you thinking of?

There's only a year left (:(

Choose wisely.

I didn't look at him this time. I'm both glad and sad. There's no in between. Before I can write my reply, he grabbed the paper again and added something on it then went in front of the classroom when the teacher called his name to answer a math problem on the board.

There's only a year left (:(

Choose wisely.

We've talked about this, we're still friends.

Friends. Yeah. That's what he calls us. That's what everyone calls us: The teachers, our principal, our fellow seniors, his brother, my parents...his parents. But for me, it's different.

I Love You.

Without thinking, I wrote down these three-word confession that more than any words could ever say. I've never felt anything so real in my life. It can make or break our relationship but it's something that I would never regret... I think.

Clasping the piece of paper in my hand, I wait for him to go back to his seat and brace myself for the goodbye. A few seconds more and he finally finished the problem and heads back to his seat. He looks at me and wiggles his brows as if saying that he rocks for answering the problem correctly. I rolled my eyes in response with a look that says "Anyone could have done that". Sticking his tongue out, he slides on his seat and holds his ballpen to write the homework that the teacher is writing on the board. I held out my clasped hand, that I can feel that shakes slightly, to him as he raised a brow at me, he smiled and ruffled my head before standing up and fixing his things. The next thing I knew is him waving at my direction before running out of the classroom. I look around. Sigh. Guess the class is already dismissed.

 

--------

 

"Hey" Daehyun called out, leaning on the side of my locker. He combed his hands through his soft black hair as he smiles brightly at my direction.

 

One word.

All it takes is one simple word to make me feel okay. I like how his voice sounds; when he's singing, it feels like honey dancing in my ears, it's warm and beautiful, the kind that send shivers all throughout my body, and when he's talking, his voice is firm and husky yet soft and gentle, something that makes me feel contented and protected. It's beautiful. He's so beautiful.

His voice. It's the very voice I fell for. Everytime he let a word out, it's music to my ears; sweet melody, my sweet melody.

"So I finally asked her out" Grinning from ear to ear, he tells his good news to me as if he can't wait to tell it the next day. Well, what can I do? He liked the girl for years.

I nodded and smiled slightly, opening my locker to place my books I used for this day and some activities we did. "Good for you"

"I know. I know" He bit his lower lip while still smiling. I look at him and shakes my head. He looks like a fool. He looks like he slept with a hanger in his mouth. "We're finally dating. We're finally dating! Whew. It feels like I'm in heaven"

"That's some great news you have there" I closed my locker as I watch him mentally screaming in joy. Look how happy this kid can be.

"Isn't it? Isn't it?" He held his hair, clasping on it tightly. His eyes are closed and he's still biting down on his lip. "Can you believe it Ji? Can you?"

"No, I can't" I said, almost whispering. 

"Me too!" He exclaimed, opening his eyes and turning around slowly while chanting these words quickly, "Me too. Me too. Me too. Me too. Me too." He turns to me and smiled again. Then he spreads his arms wide and starts turning around in circle, "We're dating! We're dating!"

Minhyuk passes by with his girlfriend, Hana. They look at Daehyun strangely at first before chuckling.

"Daehyun turned crazy, Jieun-ah" Hana giggled, her arms on her boyfriend.

"You finally said 'yes'?" Minhyuk teased.

"Nah!" I waved my hand at him, "It's the pretty girl"

"Really?" Hana's eyes sparkled, "She likes him ever since! This is some great news!

"Certainly is" I winked at her and giggled, "Our Daehyunnie finally gained some guts"

Minhyuk pats Daehyun's shoulder and Hana congratulated him before they left to leave. Daehyun, on the other hand, is still not finish on his little celebratory dance. I had to yank his collar and pull him with me to move on with our life.

Maybe a whole minute passed before he actually turns to his normal self again. I don't know what happened with this friend. He's always like that whenever he's excited.

So here we are, walking on the hallway side by side. It made me smile.

 

One step.

All it takes is one simple step with him to make me want to reach out and hug him. He walks smoothly, with grace. Absolutely irreproachable. Grandeur is evident in his every move. Wherever he goes, with his every gait, it's perfect. It’s the kind of flawless I could never be. The way he leave tracks and impressions are beyond impeccable. It's so beautiful. He's really beautiful.

He's in accordance with the highest standards of propriety. Just faultless. 

As we exited the school gates, I saw the pretty girl standing under the waiting shed not too far away. She beamed and run towards us with a big smile plastered on her beautiful face. 

She looks at me and then to her boyfriend that is standing next to me, "Did you tell her?"

"Yeah. I did" Daehyun scratched the back of his neck as he glances at me with the same smile as the beautiful girl in front of us. 

I bit my lip and smiled at them, seeing them happy made me glad. They both look excited at the thought of going out with each other. Like kids who have the same preferences. Cute. 

I sighed mentally. Now, I feel like a stalker who has his picture on my wallet. Like someone who is desperately in love with a guy she can never have. Someone who would be no more but a friend in his eyes. It's a one-sided love. And I guess, I would be crying at home tonight like any other nights, just harder this time. I'd play slow sad songs as if they are mine. Sigh. This breaks my heart.

Why? I didn't do anything wrong. I always keep on wishing on a wishing star whenever I see one. I did my job star! It's time to do yours! This hurts! It's breaking me inside. He's the song I always sings. He's the guy I've always loved. He's the everything I've always thought of. He's the only one who have enough of me to the point that he can break my heart. And he did, without knowing it. He took up everything in me, he took the best of me, but it's never enough. And there's no one else but him that is all I need to fall into. 

I'm hopeless like that.

"I'm sorry Ji. I can't walk you home tonight* " Daehyun pats my shoulder "I'd like to walk Sunhwa home this time"

"Don't worry about it. I can take care of myself"

"No, no" Daehyun shakes his head, "I already asked Junhong to walk you home. He's just finishing his activity and you two can go" He pinched my nose and ruffled my hair, "Don't go alone alright? Make sure to wait for him"

"But!" Sunhwa loudly cuts in, almost shouting. Her hands are in front of her as if she's defending herself, "It's only this time, we promise! I swear"

I smiled at her and waves my hand, "Come on, it's okay." I pushed Daehyun towards the pretty girl, "You can have him every night. It's okay, really"

She smiled and slightly nodded her head, "Thanks"

"So we'll go now?" Daehyun ruffled my hair before he kissed my forehead, like any other nights. But this time, it's before I go home not after he walked me home. I would certainly miss the feeling. "Take care, Ji. Goodbye"

"Bye Jieun-ah" 

They turned their backs on me and starts walking away to the opposite direction where we always go. Even then, I could still see their big smiles as if they would bring them to sleep later. Beautiful. Beautiful couple.

And there they go.

I watch my story ends with their bodies close to each other. 

One goodbye.

All it takes is one simple goodbye to break my heart.

 

 

---

*The average Korean High School students generally have classes from 8am to 10pm. 

(Most students, if not all, go to a hagwon, a cram school where they will study even longer in core subjects to make sure they get good results.)

 HA! I did my research!