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Music blasted throughout the nightclub, a remix of the most recent popular songs mixed together. Laughter and loud talking blended in only to be heard clearly by those standing close together. Bright lights of blue, green, and white flashed all around, adding to the excitement of the atmosphere. The ones that were not on the dance floor found themselves at the bar, drinking and flirting, in hoped of getting lucky later in the night. The bartenders ran back and forth, fixing and giving out drinks; and some showing off their skills at mixing drinks with flair.

One female in particular stood out from the rest. There was nothing about the girl that was overly special. But upon closer examination one could see the sadness that seemed to almost radiate off of her.

Standing at her back facing away from the crowd of dancing people, she entertained herself by watching her drink. Watching as the ice swirled around and around. Blending the colors of the melting with the now flat, dark brown of her drink. She seemed out of place, almost like she was forced there, the awkwardness showing in her body language.

In appearance she looked to be fairly young, but still old enough to be drinking. With a heart-shaped face, roundish-almond shaped chestnut colored eyes, a button nose and full lips that were tinted pink. She wore little make-up, mostly to cover the dark circles under her eyes. Her hair reached her mid-back with natural waves, bangs cut just above her eyes and dyed a light golden brown.

She wore a white, asymmetric hem, chiffon top that was sleeveless with a collar; her black, crop camisole visible underneath. Pairing the top with fitted, light blue wash jeans and peep toe, wedge sandals. She was dressed to have fun, but clearly was not.

“Jenna! Jen! Hey!”

The girl, Jenna, turned around when she heard her name being called. She saw a female with maroon colors hair and looked about the same age, maybe a year or two older. She questioned the woman before her, taking in her appearance. Wearing a black lace bodycon dress with a hollow out, revealing the top of her cleavage and a pair of black peep toe stilettos with a 5 inch heel. How she was able walk in those shoes was beyond the young girl standing at the bar.

The new woman’s cheeks were a light shade of pink with sweat glistening on her forehead and chest. It was easy to tell that she had been out on the middle of the dance floor with the others. Although her face reflected the effects of laughing and having fun, her eyes told different story.

Her sharp, brandy tinted eyes showed worry and a sense of uncertainty. She was worried about the girl in front of her, but she did not know what she could do to help her. The new comer stood in front of Jenna, placing a hand on her shoulder and smiled.

“Hey Jen, what are you doing over here all alone? We came out to have fun.”

Jenna let out a sigh, turning away, “Sorry Yae Rin. I’m just not in the mood to dance or drink. Honestly, I just want to go home.”

She spoke in a brittle voice, looking down at her untouched drink. Yae Rin had to stand closer just to hear what she had to say. Pulling the younger woman into a side hug and squeezing her shoulders slightly, the red head questioned her friend,

“Are you okay? Do you feel sick?”

“Today, we would have been married for four years” Was the brunette’s response.

 Yae Rin felt her heart break for her friend. She had completely forgotten the significance of the date. It had to be tough for her to try and be happy when she should be celebrating her anniversary with her husband but could not.

“Oh Jen. I am sorry. I know it has to be hard on you, but it has been two years. You cannot let Hakyeon…leaving, keep you from living your life. You need to move on and start living again; even if you do not feel as if you are living on the inside. You are.”

Jenna could not look at the older woman, wiping away a lone tear that fell from her eyes. Pushing away from Yae Rin, she threw some money down on the bar for the drink. “I am going to go home.”

She tried to leave the club, only to have Yae Rin follow her.

“Jenna stop,” she grabbed Jenna’s arm and jerked her friend to a halt, “please. You cannot keep avoiding this.”

Jenna faced her, “I get it, okay. But Yae Rin, I cannot do this now; not today. So please, just let me go home.”

Sighing, the red head let go of her upset companion, “Alright. But call me tomorrow to let me know you are alright?”

Nodding in agreement, Jenna left the hot, overcrowded nightclub with just one look back. Regretting not being able to let go of the past and have fun with her friends for the night.

She walked outside and stopped, enjoying the feel of the cool night against her skin. There was a slight breeze in the air that sent chills all down her body. The night sky was hidden by dark clouds that rolled in during the short time he had been inside. Saturday night life buzzed all around as Jenna waited on the cross walk light to turn green. Blacks, blues, reds and silvers blended together, zooming past her in a hurry to get to their next destination.

The laughter and chatter of the night filled her ears, triggering a memory of a happier time.

                                                                                                          

Swinging the door open, Jenna was greeted by the sight of a large bouquet of light purple, yellow and pink flowers.

A wide smile broke out on her face, taking the flowers from the individual in front of her and smelling them. Her eyes moved from up from the flowers to the man in front of her. Standing at the door was a man who stood nearly 6’0” with black hair, tanned skin that stood out beautifully against the light pink button up shirt her wore, sleeves rolled up to his elbows. He also wore black jeans and a pair dress shoes.

“Hakyeon, they are beautiful. Thank you.”

His large, black eyes sparkled, happy that she liked the flowers he got for her. She moved aside to let him in her place. He gave her a bright smile that sent butterflies fluttering around her stomach.

“Not as beautiful as you.” He spoke full of seriousness.

Jenna laughed at his response, rolling her eyes, “God you cheese ball. Are you ready to go? I hope you have something great planned for our first date.”

She hooked her arm around his and they walked out of her apartment, and begun walking towards their destination of a local restaurant to eat. After they ate, they went to see a new movie that just premiered. It was a typical first date, but still perfect. And at the end, both Jenna and Hakyeon knew that it was just the first of many to come.

 

The feel of small knives hitting her skin brought Jenna out of her thoughts. She was starting to wish that she had brought a jacket to block out the cold chill of the wind. All she could do was wrap her arms around herself and keep walking a little faster than before. Darkness swirled around her, bringing her into its lonely embrace. A warm, stinging sensation came to her eyes as a flood of emotions hit her from the memories of what used to be filled her head. Heaviness weighed on her heart from the painful thoughts.

It killed her to see all the smiling facing and stolen kisses from those huddled under umbrellas together. A sickened feeling came over Jenna at her dark thoughts; it felt so wrong to envision the destruction of a couples love. Just because she was not allowed to hat her love with her now.

She shook her head not wanting to think of it anymore. But they did not want to leave her alone. Give her just a moment of peace.

Jenna jumped and looked up at the sky as she heard a loud crash above followed by a whitish-blue streak dancing across the clouds. Drop, drop, drop…she felt something cold splashing on her face, starting off slow and light, then quickly picked up speed and strength. Soon she was drenched from head to close, hair plastered to her face.

Frozen in place, she watched the rain fall all around her and slowly closed her eyes. It felt as if the rain was washing away all the hurt, anger, and pain she had held onto for so long. She remained just standing on the sidewalk under the rain, paying no mind to shivering of her body from the cold.

Finally, she pulled herself out of her daze, opening her eyes, and continued on her way home. She only wanted to curl up in her bed, even if it was lonely. There is was easier to will the day away and forget the pain. Or give into the memories and keep living in the past.

Passing by a late night food cart, the smell of fair food followed Jenna. The scent caused her to flash to another memory of her time with Hakyeon.

 

“Come on Hakyeon, you have lost six times already. Just give up and let’s go play something else.”

“No. You wanted that bear and I am going to win it for you.” Hakyeon spoke, full of determination.

Jenna only rolled her eyes at her fiancé, though a small smile formed at how adorable he seemed. He was just so focused on the fair game that was obviously rigged.

Just when she thought the losing streak going to hit seven, the last ball he had made direct contact. He had managed to knock down all the stacked bottles, finally. And she had to admit that she was shocked, not expecting that from him at all. Honestly, she thought they would have to force him away from the booth before he would give up.

She recovered from her shock and let out a squeal of joy. Clapping and jumping up and down to cheer for her fiancé’s win.

“Yay! You did it!” Jenna exclaimed.

“Well of course. How could you doubt my amazing skills?” He took the large, brown stuffed bear from the man at the booth, “And this is for you my beautiful fiancée.” Smiling as he gave the bear to the woman.

Jenna hugged the stuffed animal tightly, returning his smile with one of her own. They moved out of the way and over to a table set up next to a concession stand. She placed the bear on the table and wrapped her arms Hakyeon’s long, slim neck. Staring into his eyes lovingly.

“I love you Cha Hakyeon.”

“I love you too future Cha Jenna.”

Their lips met in a sweet and innocent kiss, but still putting their all behind that one kiss. Both thrilled that in just a few short weeks they would be sharing their first kiss as a married couple.

 

Jenna quickly moved on, needing to get away from all the memories. Turning onto the last block away from her home, she began to grow nervous. In recent years, she tried to avoid walking this block the best that she could. She picked up her pace, keeping her head down and wrapped her arms tighter around her middle.

Just as she thought she was safe, something out of her peripheral caught her attention. She knew that she should not look, just ignore and keep going, but she could not stop herself. There in front of her was a neon ‘open’ sign at a simple looking convenience store. Was this meant to be a sign that it was time for her to finally face her fear?

To any passerby, it was a normal convenience store that was open all night. But to Jenna, it was the source of all her torture and depression. This one place is where her one true love was taken from her. She still remembered that day so clearly in her mind, but ripped her heart in two to allow the memory to take control.

As if moving on autopilot, she walked into the store shaking, and not just from the cold chill of the air hitting her wet skin. Moving down one aisle, it soon became hard for her to breathe as it all started to replay in her mind.

 

Jenna and Hakyeon sat curled up on the sofa watching a movie. It was there second anniversary, but she had caught the flu so they were going to hold off on celebrating until she was better. For the time being though, Hakyeon was happy t play nurse o his sick wife.

He stood from the couch with much disagreement coming from Jenna. He walked into the kitchen to get something to drink, only to find that what he wanted was all gone.

“Hey sweet heart?” He called out to her from the entrance way, pulling on his jacket.

“Yeah?”

“I’m going to head to that all night store. You want anything?”

Jenna grumbled as she stood, walking to her husband. “Hakyeon, it is passed midnight. That is too late to be walking to the store. Wait until the morning to go.” Her voice pleaded.

Hakyeon placed his hands on her shoulders, smiling at her in a reassuring manner, “I will be fine Sweet heart. It is just a block away. Trust me; I’ll get you some of that ice cream that you like.”

She did not seem at all convinced, but nodded anyway, “Call me when you get there and when you leave. And call me at the halfway points to and from.”

He gave her a hard look, “Jenna.”

“Fine. Just be careful. I don’t like you going out this late, it worries me. And don’t forget my ice cream. I  love you.”

Hakyeon gave her a sweet smile and pulled her in close, wrapping her tightly in his arms, “Always, I love you too.”

He dropped a quick kiss to her lips and left. Jenna just could not shake the feeling that something was going to happen. She got resettled on the sofa, but turned off the movie to watch regular television. Hoping that it would distract her from the tightening feeling in her chest; the knots forming in her stomach. This whole situation just felt off and wrong.

She kept a close eye on the time, checking her phone constantly for anything from Hakyeon. At this point she would settle for one of his smartass texts. Anything to let her know that he was alright. Jenna sent him a text or two and tried calling once, but he did not answer or respond.

A part of her mind tried to reason that she was overreacting. That perhaps everything is fine and Hakyeon was going to be walking through the door at any moment. The television was forgotten, her eyes locked on the doors, anticipating her husband’s return.

    Two hours had lapsed since Hakyeon had gone to the convenience store just a block away. Now she was really worried; he should have been back long before now. She continued to try calling and texting him multiple times, but heard nothing back. She was about to get dressed an go get him, no matter how sick she was.

A loud knocking at the door distracted Jenna from her concentration she had on her phone. She stared at the door for a moment thinking that she heard wrong. But then the knocks started again, confirming that she was not hearing things. It had to be Hakyeon and he just forgot his keys. Yes that had to be it; he just forgot his house keys and that is why he was knocking

Jenna shot up from the sofa and to the door. Swinging it open with enough force to near send it through the wall.

“Hakyeon!”

She froze, standing in front of her was not her husband. Instead there stood two men dressed in blue uniforms at her doorstep. One of the men, the older of the two, flashed his badge with a solemn expression,

“Mrs. Cha?”

She gripped the door to keep herself up right, taking a deep breath. Her whole body was shaking was she felt sick to her stomach. Already able to feel the tears welling up in her eyes.

“Y-yes…” Jenna replied in a small voice.

The man who showed his badge  let a small sigh, rubbing the back of his neck. He hated having to deliver this type of news.

“I’m sorry ma’am, but I am afraid that I have some bad news,” he started, “Mrs. Cha, your husband was killed in a robbery at a 24 hour convenience store a block away from here.”

Jenna’s world stopped. No, it couldn’t be true; it just couldn’t be true. Hakyeon cannot be gone. No! They had the wrong person; it was not her Hakyeon. NO!

A loud cry echoed throughout the apartment. Her body felt heavy as Jenna found it difficult to breathe. A buzzing made its way to her ears as her world started to spin and colors blended together then it all began to fade to black.

 

“Ma’am, are you alright? Ma’am?” a male voice came from behind her, stopping the replay of her nightmare.

Jenna looked at the older man and could only shake her head. Tears blurred her vision as she hurried away from the store. The rain he eased up, making it easier for her as she broke out into a run. Running home the best she could in her shoed and the rain.

She did not care if she fell, or hurt herself, she only wanted to get home. She needed to be home. The wind played with her hair, blowing it all around. White streaks lit up the sky moving from cloud to cloud as the sounds of explosions matched the pounding in her chest. Then she stopped.

In front of her was the place of her safe haven. She began up the stairs to her apartment, only to feel the need to turn back around. She felt as though she was being watched. Slowly she turned and gasped.

Standing at the bottom of the stairs, he was wearing a white button down shirt and white pants. She loved him in white. His black hair matted down from the rain but it did not take away from his good looks. Jenna wanted to run to him, throw herself into his arms. She took one step towards him, only to have him shake his head ‘no’ at her.

“Hakyeon…” his name whispered from her lips.

He spoke but she could not hear him. The only thing she could make out was “I love you.”

The figure of her lost love gave her one last smile before fading away forever. Only to ever return to her in her dreams.

“I love you too Hakyeon. Forever.”

Jenna walked up the stairs and into her apartment. She took a shower, changed into a pair of pajamas and crawled into her bed. For the first night in two years, Jenna fell into a peaceful, dreamless sleep.

 

‘A Dream’

By: Edgar Allan Poe

 

In visions of the dark night

I have dreamed of joy departed—

But a walking dream of life and light

Hath left me broken-hearted.

 

Ah! What is not a dream by day

To him whose eyes are cast

On things around him with a ray

Turned back upon the past?

 

The holy dream– the holy dream,

While all the world were chiding,

Hath cheered me as a lovely beam

A lonely spirit guiding.

 

What though that light, thro’ storm and night,

So trembled from afar—

What could there be more purely bright

In Truth’s day-star?