The hard slam of a water bottle against the wall was suddenly heard throughout the dressing room. The one that caused all the ruckus, was breathing heavily as he watched the droplets of water roll down on the wall headed towards the floor as gravity had pulled them there. His brown eyes, slicked back hair and breath that came in heavy waves as he struggled to regain his cool while a fury that was too indescribable to calm down ruled over his entire being.

He felt many eyes on him by now. Felt how sickeningly quiet the room had gotten and none of them knew the exact meaning of why such a violent outburst had come when everyone had been on a high of glee while on stage.

A slightly smaller man had tried to reach out to him; a quivering hand unsure of what to properly do to not engage the wrath on himself, “Donghae hyung…”

The brunet, his face suddenly slightly covered by his hand to hold back his anger, peeking through fingers at the younger man, could only continue to breathe heavily causing him to grunt at him in warning to not even lay a finger on his person.

The younger man clasping the hand he was reaching out to the other with his free hand, could only try to get the angered male in front of him with words, “Hyung…. Please… are you okay?”

Without much of a warning, the older man had pushed past the younger rather harshly causing him to yelp in mild pain as their shoulders had clashed.

Ryeowook had wanted simply to help out his friend but had been pushed away. Feeling a hand suddenly on his shoulder, he couldn’t help but bury his face on the chest of whom it belonged to: their leader.

“Ryungu, just… give him space. We’ve all been trying to but I think something’s finally snapped,” the older man with his dark hair could only away at the head of the younger one as his tears clearly stained through his shirt. A grimace heavily etched on the elder’s face as the rest of the group had remained a deadly quiet.

It was a moment of brief repose in between segments of their show. The group had noticed how two of their own had, after enjoying their usual bouts of fanservice, wound up in a serious shouting match on the break prior to their current one. It hadn’t been like previous bouts that they had from time to time, it had felt harsher than anything before. They were all sure that the strain of the upcoming enlistment had rattled both of them and they didn’t know how to handle things properly anymore.

Donghae, who had by now taken on wearing sunglasses throughout the entire performance, was clearly hiding his rage in his eyes from the fans. He had tried his best to remain professional. Playing with the other members, dancing to everything in its correct cue, playing with the fans here and there but mostly keeping a pretty calm and quiet demeanor despite of the heavy storm that brewed inside of him.

He had left the room full of his group members, the silence still ringing in his ears. Up ahead, leaning against a wall, he could see the figure of the man who had elicited such a downward spiral in himself.

His slick figure, sharp eyes, arms crossed against his chest as one of his legs was bent and keeping him leaning against the wall, his gaze clearly staring straight ahead of him yet he had been aware that he was being approached by the man with whom he had shared that tormenting fight with earlier. He didn’t have it in him to face him right away. It was a matter of time before he did it, however, only to notice his own reflection looking back at him over his partners glasses.

“Hae... “

Donghae had to hold every inch of himself to not take a jab at the slimmer man. He was sure that the auburn haired man had felt guilty over what had transpired: their usual flirting on stage had wound up with yet another kiss. He couldn’t help it. Eunhyuk had once again beckoned him to it and none of the members had been quick enough to stop it from happening. He had lingered a second too long with his lips attached to the older man’s cheeks. He noticed as the smile on Eunhyuk’s face faded since it had lasted too long. He had been pushed away, ever so slightly, ever so carefully as the smile faded. He was stared at for a second that the fans could probably had not seen and his fake smile had suddenly snapped back on his face before he had run away to another member. To Kyuhyun. Donghae had just remained in his spot for a second before realizing where he was and the fact that his lyric was just around the corner forced him to continue with the show.

But the show didn’t continue once they were backstage. When they were backstage, he had found himself being pushed harshly against the wall. The slimmer man suddenly having the strength of too many thus making him feel like the smallest being on earth. He could see the anger on Eunhyuk’s face quite clearly. He knew it was a deadly one that would wind up in quite the devastating fight for the following weeks.

“You took it too far! You know you weren’t supposed to do it for real! Why, Donghae, why? After the mess that was our tour, why would you do this again?”

He was referring to how their playing around had gotten to be too much at times. Donghae had touched too much. Had taken it as their own personal playground as the fans hadn’t really minded it; they had always, always wanted it and even more. It had wound up with the higher ups practically devastating their wills to be too friendly towards each other in stage. And the fans noticed it. They always did. But on the final night of the tour, both of them had dared to go through after all the years of teasing them and allow Donghae to kiss Eunhyuk’s cheek. It was a brief second but it was something so terribly daring that also got them in trouble.

Sure, the rest of the members had praised them for being so bold but they also knew the trouble it had caused them. And to do it again? And on a venue with all of them? Everyone feared the repercussions of it all. But they hadn’t expected for Eunhyuk to blow up at Donghae so harshly. So harshly that Donghae had been inconsolable during that break and it took the strength of most of them to get him into their next outfit. The outfit coordinators fighting hard against his tears putting on his make-up only to have it ruined seconds later.

The show continued, everyone played around and Donghae was brandishing his glasses throughout most of the performance. He had tried to go to Eunhyuk a few times only to be left hanging and to be embraced by Siwon countless times at the sight of such blatant rejections.

By the next break, the one they were currently on, Donghae had had enough. He had been tired of how harshly Eunhyuk had often reacted after certain bits of fan service. It had gotten to the point that he would rather not do it and disappoint their fans. Yet there he was, leaning against that wall and looking straight at him. His face unreadable as the tears had begun to swell up underneath the eyes hidden by the glasses.

He was on making his way towards the stage, determined to ignore the man against the wall. He was determined to go on with the show not speaking or acknowledging him. Not going near him if he could avoid it. Just keeping his heart as at peace as it could be. He had to do it for the fans.

But he wasn’t going to do it easily; he had felt the slimmer man’s hand wrap itself against his wrist. He had stopped in his tracks but kept looking forward; he couldn’t afford to break again.

“Please talk to me, Donghae.” Noticing that the younger man kept in his position, he bit his lower lip trying to control his emotions as well. “Please look at me,” he pleaded at the other man who had not moved an inch since he had been stopped. This made him move himself in front of his partner and let out a soft gasp as he had noticed that the other was crying. His body, his face, everything about him had frozen except for the tears that slid down his cheek. He knew he had crossed the line in getting so angry at him earlier but he had wanted to make things right again. He somehow felt that this had been a line that was crossed too harshly by his fear which he had clearly thrown at Donghae’s direction.

Not being able to help himself, he had cupped his hands on the younger’s face. Trying to wipe away the tears from his cheeks, seeing only his reflection bouncing off of those annoying glasses, he softly leaned his face closer to the younger’s. Eyes drooping close and a mute sigh escaping him as their lips clashed softly. He had put all of his emotions into that kiss. All of his love. All of the apologies he couldn’t say any more. His lips plastered on his companion’s, kissing each corner of them, molding them so that they could fit his perfectly as he only waited for the reply to it.

And he got into not too long after. Donghae’s lips parting slightly to accommodate Eunhyuk’s. Falling into an all too familiar rhythm that both of their lips knew too well. The younger’s hands lightly, carefully finding their way on the elder’s shirt. At first, clutching at it with too much force yet making their way around the waist of his lover as their kisses deepened.

Tears still lightly rolling down his eyes, he found himself staring at Eunhyuk who had at that moment also been staring back at him. He had felt slightly guilty that Eunhyuk couldn’t really see his eyes but he had felt that it was the best seeing as there was too much sorrow in them to be seen. Especially by him. He wasn’t sure of what the other set of eyes were trying to relay. Their tongues clashing, Eunhyuk’s eyes fluttering shut once again as to enjoy every second of their passionate kiss and he too was lost soon into it as well.

They remained like this for a while until they had heard noises stir once again behind them. There couldn’t be any words, however, as Donghae had broken away from the older man and continued to the stage on his own.

Eunhyuk had wanted to go after him, but he was quickly found to be wrapped in the arms of the youngest in the group.

“Hyung, hyung!” Henry relented, his mood ever too bright for the occasion. Eunhyuk had felt Henry’s embrace tighten as he continued to speak, “please make up with Donghae hyung… I know he stepped over the line but there’s no reason to get so upset at him. He’s so angry. I’ve never seen him like that.”

“Oh, I have.” Both men turned around to stare at the owner of that voice. Kyuhyun had taken to leaning against the wall now as the rest of the group gathered around them. “It happened after that fight you guys had after your tour and again after the final concerts of our tour. He tried his hardest to keep at your side given everything that you’ve been going through, Hyukjae, but you can’t deny that you’ve been pretty harsh with him for months now. Your time for the military is quickly approaching and all you can do is yell at him for trying to make the fans and himself happy? That’s a bit tactless, don’t you think?”

Before Eunhyuk had it in him to shoot back at him, Kyuhyun had walked towards the stage slowly at first but rushing soon after the object of their conversation.

“It’s time to continue,” Leeteuk had announced as he pat at Eunhyuk’s shoulder and went on. Many did the same as they passed him. Words couldn’t, no, they wouldn’t leave him. It had been months that he had been treating Donghae harshly. And he didn’t particularly have an excuse for his actions. Not anymore.

He sighed as he pat the arms around his waist. Feeling a head against his shoulder briefly, he leaned back into it lightly before he found himself being pushed away to rush and join the rest of the  members on stage.

-------------------------------------------------------

The shows had ended. The promotions for their latest album had come and gone. It was their time to leave as well. The never melting ice that remained after that particular night of the encore had never thawed.

Their long hair had disappeared replaced by the prickly strands of their roots. It was their last remaining days of their freedom. They were all gathered one last time. The iciness between the two of them was there and the group knew it; they had tried so hard to help the two overcome it to no avail.

Donghae had settled into a persona that had to show an outward put together appearance. At least to them. It was seen through by everyone but they had chosen to not let him know that.

Eunhyuk had lost himself in the remainder of his variety shows. Putting out his usual persona full of glee and enjoying the company of the women that the show had allowed him to. Not that he had  become a Casanova. Never that. Never for him. Solely to gather connections. Simply to keep him busy now that his life had been overcome by such a painful solitude.

Donghae could feel the others’ eyes wander his way too often during that dinner. He could only brush them off laughing as if nothing was going on with the other members. Being far too loud thanks to Henry. Taking pictures here and there to remember his brothers on his time away. But never having landed on Eunhyuk.

The night passed. Hugs were shared. Words of encouragement had gone through them as they were to leave. They had been the last two to remain. Words had no longer passed to each other. Not even as the both of them shook their hands goodbye. Eunhyuk’s hold tightening as Donghae’s had loosened to go his way. An expression of longing, perhaps, etched on his eyes; Donghae’s gaze as blank as could be.

Eunhyuk knew he had wronged him. Knew it was impossible to make things right again. He had wanted to for so many months. He had apologized countless times only to be met by the other man simply walking away without expressing a single word in return.

Donghae broke his hold and simply walked away. “Goodbye, Eunhyuk,” was breathed out simply as he had continued on his way.

It wasn’t any better on the day they were to enter their training. Hugs were shared, tears were shed, words of encouragement once again said, farewells. Donghae was the last member there was to hug. They stared at each other apprehensively. Donghae’s gaze remaining cold.

Encasing the younger once in his arms, Eunhyuk had done it so tightly. So tightly. His heart beating miles per minute as he was saddened to have never felt the others’ hand wrap around him as he had hoped for with all his might.

Breaking the hug far too quickly for Eunhyuk’s taste, Donghae simply looked into his eyes and nodded at him before walking away briskly.

He never noticed that he had left the man who had loved him for so long so utterly broken. Never saw the tears that had rolled out of Eunhyuk’s eyes so freely; as freely as the tears on his eyes had also begun to fall.

He never looked back.

A/N: I seem to rebel in writing angst nowadays. This story was born out of a mutual's thoughts on Twitter. I had to give it a go instead of, y'know, maybe continuing with my ongoing series orz

Not too terribly sure when I'll write the conclusion to this, however. Thank you for reading. -S