Everything started out as a hasty decision. He was well aware of it. However, at that moment, he desperately needed something to grab onto and his answer was standing right in front of him. It had started out as a rebound, as some people would call it, but as weeks turned to months, it turned into something real and pure. And Youngjae’s never been more sure than ever when he’s with Mark that he’ll never regret being with him.

Sometimes though, his mind tends to wonder around and he finds himself reminiscing the memories he had with his former best friend. It’s still a complete mystery to him as to why Jackson stopped hanging out with him, but he figures as long as the latter is happy then its okay. He hasn’t heard a word of him since that day and it breaks his heart to know that’s all their friendship equaled to. It’s a bad case of nostalgia during rainy days but Mark is always there to cuddle with him under his blankets so it isn’t so bad. His sadness for losing a dear friend is often misunderstood by Mark and he always needs to reassure him everything is okay.

“Is he really just a friend?” Mark asked one day when they were in Youngjae’s room, doing some homework together, clearly bothered by it with his eyebrows furrowed. It was raining that day and he knew how the latter gets during those days.

Youngjae sighed and held his hand tight. “Yes, he was.”

“Then why do you always look so sad whenever I ask about him?”

“Because… because it brings up bad memories.” He explained the best he could. “We sort of got separated from each other suddenly.”

The latter kissed his forehead and held his gaze. “But you have me now…”

“I know…”

“And?”

“And I’m eternally lucky for it.” Youngjae smiled cutely, his cheeks turning rosy. He secretly loved it when his boyfriend was clingy.

It was obvious that Mark liked his answer as he smiled widely, his face flushing a bit. “Do you mean that?”

“Yes.”

After that, the latter didn’t bring it up again.

▼▲▼▲▼▲

Months eventually turned into years and both males had graduated from middle school and now high school. It was almost scary how time passed by so quickly in a blink of an eye and how everything changed so drastically. The park nearby their old high school is no longer there. Instead of a park was now a big mall that the couple frequented to. Their favorite noodle restaurant just a few blocks away from their university had closed down. Apparently, business hadn’t been going well for them. The book store where Youngjae buys all of his books moved somewhere else far away because the location wasn’t good. Everything around them kept changing constantly, but they had also changed during the process.

Youngjae decided it was a go for a change the next day after his graduation from high school. His boyfriend had accompanied him for support and because he also claimed he wanted a fresh start too. After looking at a book of hairstyles, the cutie suddenly stopped at a page and pointed at an illustration. Unlike the latter, Mark knew what he wanted already and he laughed at his boyfriend simplicity and childish behavior. The stylist then nodded their head and start with the much needed transformation. A few hours later, Youngjae had blond hair and Mark has dark brown hair. Both males blushed at each other’s appearance because they looked damn nice with their new styled hair.

They also decided it was time to take another big step in their lives: move in together. It was something that both males wanted to do ever since half way high school when Youngjae casually mentioned it during a conversation. “It’d be so cool if one day we live together!” the latter said dreamily, the scene so clear in his head.

Mark almost spits his drink and he visibly blushed, caught off guard by his boyfriend comment. “W-What?” he squealed out.

Youngjae laughed at his reaction. “I mean, yeah!” his eyes sparkled as he spoke. “Like when I get home, you’ll be already cooking for us. Then we finish eating, I wash the dishes and we talk. It’d be so nice!”

He nodded, the thought slowly becoming more exciting by the second, and blinked once or twice when the realization hit him. Youngjae wanted to live with him. To say he was happy was an understatement.

He was overjoyed. “Yeah,” Mark continued along. “And then we can get a pet dog—,”

“Coco!” Youngjae interrupted, beaming with happiness.

And then they went on about what kind of house they wanted, what color it should be, and everything else.

The couple settled for an apartment that was close to the university and it had a cheap rent. It had one master bedroom, a master bathroom, a guest room, a small living room and a nice, comfy kitchen for two. It was a bit awkward (the good kind) when they finished unpacking and were starting to live together. They would often bump into each other while one worked in the kitchen and then get shy over the small skin contact. It was a little ridiculous because they had long gotten past that stage already, the too-much-ual-tension phase, and yet they still get shy over it. It didn’t last long though because afterword, they became natural around each other.

(In fact, sometimes those small contacts weren’t small at all and they playfully teased each other. The first time it happened was when Youngjae was washing the dishes when Mark walked by him and subtly d his . The latter let out a squeak and looked at his boyfriend embarrassed, to which this one replied with a wide smirk. “What’s wrong?” Mark mocked. “You seem… troubled.” Youngjae hoped his mental you was somehow heard and he continued on as if he hadn’t felt or heard him. The other suddenly wraps his arm around him in a back hug, except his hands traveled south. Youngjae grunts, suddenly distracted by the warmth oh his boyfriend.

“M-Mark,” he growled. “Get your hands off me.”

“Aw, but baby, you seem to like it.” This one nibbled his ear before thoroughly it.

Needless to say, they had to take it to the room.)

The next big change was, of course, university. It wasn’t all that different from high school the people were and so was the system. Youngjae had been so nervous during the first day because he was in a different department from Mark. While he was in Music and Arts, his boyfriend was in the Math department. Mark had always been gifted in Math unlike Youngjae and he wished to be a Math teacher one day. The latter supported him more than anyone because he knew how well he explained. But as the day went by, the cutie was able to make some friends (Im Jaebum and Han Sanghyuk) and trade numbers with with them. Mark was glad for him.

But what about Wang Jackson?

Youngjae doesn’t know. The last thing he had heard about the latter was that he was leaving back to Hong Kong. Apart from that, his feelings for the latter are dead. Gone forever. What he formerly felt for Wang Jackson, he now feels for Mark Tuan and he doesn’t want it any other way. He wasn’t sure how he would react after not seeing him for so long, but of course; life never goes the way one wants to.

It happened on a rainy afternoon when Youngjae was just leaving class. It had started to pour down heavily and he bit his lip when he realized he didn’t have an umbrella with him. He should’ve listened to Mark’s nagging in the morning. He had warned him about the rain but he shrugged it off because the weatherman was always wrong… except that day.

The boy checked his watch and realized he didn’t have time to be waiting there. Youngjae had promised to meet up with some old friends at a café nearby and he couldn’t leave them waiting. Without thinking twice, he ran in the rain, hoping he wouldn’t be too wet when he arrives. Obviously his wish wouldn’t come true.

It seemed as if he was the first one to arrive at the café, and he pouted because he ran in the rain for nothing. The owners of the café were kind enough to lend him a towel to dry himself with and he thanked them with a smile. He had to admit he was a bit cold and it helped drying himself. Youngjae politely returned the towel and sat at the reserved table. One of the workers brought him a menu and he took it gladly, looking over it briefly. He wasn’t really hungry after all.

After a minute or two, the door bell rang again and Youngjae looked up instinctively, thinking it was a friend. He was partly right. Just add the former to best friend and there you have it.

It was none other than Wang Jackson.

Their eyes met immediately and both males were surprised to see each other there. Youngjae blinked many times, finding it hard to form words because dammit, he hadn’t seen him since that time and so many unresolved feelings were suddenly overflowing him. His eyes glossed with emotion but it then turned into a frown, his eyebrows knitted in anger, and then he was half smiling. His face was a mess and he wasn’t sure why.

Jackson seemed equally torn with raw emotion but unlike Youngjae, he managed a smile despite everything. He waved awkwardly at the latter and he was about to approach him when Youngjae got up and punched him in the face. Everyone around him was surprised at his sudden outburst and so was he, but how could he just sit there when his best friend had completely cut off all ties with him? After so many years of avoiding him and not once facing him, he expects him to wave back like an idiot? no. Youngjae was human after all. The other stumbled a few steps back but he didn’t seem surprised like the rest. “Guess I deserved that…” Jackson said as he laughed humorlessly.

“Yeah, you did.” Youngjae said coldly.

“Why don’t we talk?” And as much as Youngjae wanted to refuse, he didn’t. He would finally know the mystery of back then, the mystery that haunted him during rainy days like that afternoon. They sat down back at the table he was sitting at first and ordered some water for now.

It was silent at first since Jackson was staring at him intently. The latter felt a little uncomfortable under his gaze and he shifted in his seat, hoping Jackson got the hint. He didn’t. “You dyed your hair.”

“Yeah… I wanted a fresh start.” Youngjae explained, feeling awkward.

“It looks nice.” He said with a small, awkward smile.

Youngjae pointed at his hair. “And your hair is also nice.” It did look nice actually. He had forgotten that Jackson used to have brown hair like him, but now it was black and long. It was styled in a way so you would be able to see his eyes easily, and he noted his eyes still had that mysterious glint to them that he once loved.

Jackson chuckled now, rubbing his neck (and maybe a little shy). “Thanks…”

Their water arrives and so do one of Youngjae’s friends, Byun Baekhyun, with someone else that the latter didn’t know. The guy was freakishly taller than all of them and when he smiled, one of his eyes twitched a bit but he figured this was the guy his friend had been gossiping about (Park something…). Youngjae knew their conversation would have to be put off for a while but he wasn’t complaining. Being alone with Jackson after so many years was weird, and it was only then he realized that he being there was weird too. Wasn’t he in Hong Kong or something? He would later ask Baekhyun, he mentally noted. He was the one that arranged this meeting.

He hadn’t changed much surprisingly. Youngjae had assumed he had since the group of kids he started to hang out with were a tad abnormal. Then again, Jackson had never been normal to start with.

His smile is still breathtakingly beautiful when he laughs, a laugh so rich and pleasant to listen to just like back then, and he still has a good nose. Youngjae had to stifle a laugh because he was supposed to be angry, but Jackson literally smelled the food a mile a way. He looked like a dog wagging its tail, waiting to be feed. At the back of his mind, Youngjae can somehow remember a scene that was identical to the scene playing out in front of him and it was just so ridiculous, it was funny. If anything changed, he was a bit tamer. Mature, even. Back during early middle school, Jackson whistled at girls and boys alike when he passed by. If he caught their attention, he would flash them a blinding smile as he wrote his number on their arm. It was always so embarrassing to be there to witness it, partly frustrating, and Youngjae would continue walking away with his cheeks puffed adorably. You also couldn’t discuss a serious topic with him at all because you’d either end up laughing your off or get mad at him for not being serious at all.

Forgetting about the past for now, Youngjae decides to enjoy the scene playing before him. He catches up with some friends and laughs at the jokes they say. He answers without any problem since most of questions are simple, ignoring Jackson’s stare whenever he answered. They all ate when the food they ordered came and all that was heard fir a moment were the “Ugh, this is so good”, “Hmmh’s’, and of course, “I feel so fat”. When they finished, some of them had to go while some lingered around but not for so long. Just like they were the first ones to arrive, they were the last to leave.

Both males were about to leave when they realized one, it was still raining and two, neither had an umbrella. “How come you don’t have an umbrella?” Youngjae asked, looking over at him.

The older boy shrugged. “Someone dropped me off.”

All Youngjae knew was that he was staring blankly at the rain then the next second, he was pulled into the rain by Jackson. It happened quickly; how Jackson was holding his hand and they were both running in the rain.

Memories flashed before his eyes, back to the time of when they were still close to each other, of when there was no feeling involved. It was all too bittersweet for Youngjae. He did after all prefer happy ending than moments like this. Running around like this reminded him of how painfully naïve he had been, but it also reminded of his dear Mark. His chest felt warm at the memory of conversation with him, but it just reminded him of the first reason why he even turned to him in the first place. His eyes started to glisten from all the emotions and let them fall, reasoning that telling apart tears from rain is a hard thing to do.

Youngjae hadn’t realized they had stopped running under the rain and were now near an arcade. “I’m sorry for suddenly avoiding you,” Jackson started to say quietly, catching the cutie’s attention.

“And for everything else that came after and I would understand why you wouldn’t want to be here with me… but can I make a selfish request?”

Youngjae didn’t say anything because if he still knew his former best friend like he used to, then the request would be easy.

“Let’s play together again like good old times.”

It sounded easy and it was, but it wasn’t near as comfortable as it used to be. Instead of playing the crane machine, they played all the other ones first. Air hockey was one of their favorites (second to the crane machine) and one of the games that heated both males up. Youngjae was better at this game, aiming at all the corners Jackson couldn’t reach because he was too short to reach. Although he was better at this game, he still couldn’t let his guard down because whenever he did, the older boy would score a point.

After air hockey came shooting games and Youngjae loved but hated these games. He never had the greatest eye sight and shooting poor zombies was simply not his cup of tea, but it brought an undeniable trill to him whenever he did. Besides, watching Jackson get so happy about it was the funniest sight; he would jump in joy and clap his hand like some fangirl whenever he wins the game.

After shooting games was racing games and these weren’t exactly their favorite since it was the same thing over and over again. The only “racing” game they loved was Crazy Taxi and it was because it was different from others. You could crash into anyone or anything but as long as you made it, it was okay to do so… all of these games brought them so much joy and yet now, it was awkward.

When Youngjae won a game, he would jump and laugh in joy which usually resulted with the other joining him along. Now, Jackson simply stared at him and smiled a little. They didn’t high five each other anymore like they used to. The setting from back then was the same but the rest had changed. The damage their friendship took was still present and the distance between them was evidence of it. Deciding it was for the best, they went to the crane machine.

Youngjae still at it. Even after he played this game for who knows how many times, he still at it. He did like he always did. He inserted the dollar bill into the machine and bright colors suddenly started to shine, changing colors and bringing life to the machine. A sudden wave of nostalgia washed over him and he smiled a little because he still had the otter somewhere in his apartment. He grabbed the stick and started to direct it toward the cute dog plushie at the corner of the machine; straight ahead then a right and then it was below the crane. Youngjae pressed the button quickly, a little more excited than he should be, and watched all over again how life in unfair to him. The crane certainly went for it; it was within its grasp and yet, it missed anyways.

He was starting to remember why he disliked this game.

The lights flashed a giant sorry at his face and he didn’t bother to hide the frustration he felt. He let out a grunt and he pouted when he heard Jackson laughing his off. “You’re still so bad at this…” he said, shaking his head and wiping a tear from his eye. “Step aside and let the master work his magic.”

Although he wanted to curse at his face, he stepped aside because his former best friend wasn’t kidding when he called himself a master. The latter inserted a dollar bill into the machine and waited for the lights to go on. He quickly pressed the start button and wrapped his fingers around the stick. Without wasting time, he directed the crane to the dog plushie Youngjae wanted; straight, right and below. Jackson pressed the button swiftly like it was a part of him, and the cutie couldn’t believe it. He somehow managed to do it again. The crane grabbed the plushie and deposited it into the bin.

Jackson grabbed the plushie and stared at it for a long time. “The reason why I avoided you all this time was because,” he paused, unintentionally making Youngjae’s heart race faster than it already was. “Because… I liked you.”

He laughed bitterly now. “I was in denial all this time because it wasn’t normal to feel that way about your friend. But then that guy was doing what I wanted to do so easily and I felt frustrated.” He paused again, breathing steadily. “That’s why I did that.”

It was hard to hold back the tears but he somehow managed to. “T-That?” Youngjae asked, breathing out shakily.

“I kissed a girl back then.” A memory of that day pops up in Youngjae’s mind. “Thought it would make me back to normal…”

“But it didn’t.”

There were cracks forming in his little, fragile heart. This was all too much to take in all at one time…

“I knew you were with that guy. I tried to move on but I figured I wouldn’t be able to until you knew the real reason. So I came here today to say this.”

The latter was crying already, his face red and eyes shut as he shed tears. His tears tasted salty and he was so sure he would later have a headache. Jackson handed over the plushie and smiled one last time before turning around to leave. Youngjae was quick to react and grabbed his arm, stopping him from leaving. It would have been unfair if he left without knowing his part of the story. “I… I liked you too…” he sobbed.

The older boy turned around surprised at his confession, but then he grabbed Youngjae’s hand and let his hand linger there for a moment. The grip started to loosen because the latter knew what this meant. “I’m sorry.” Jackson said, kissing softly his forehead before leaving again. “And thank you, Youngjae.”

Goodbye, Wang Jackson.

The end.

A/N: Sorry for the long wait but it's finished now! ಥ‿ಥ At first, this was going to be sort of a love triangle with Mark and all, but it took a curve and now it's about moving on ಥ‿ಥ

This is just in case, but Jackson felt jealous of Mark because Mark was flirting with Youngjae, and well, puberty happened in a sum.

Oh and I swear, the part about the dog, I had written that before they actually got it ahahaha I was freaking out when I realized it (which was like, yesterday) and I debated whether to call it Coco or Heart, but I decided not to because they can always change their minds about the name! （ ´∀｀）

I hope this was worth the wait...? Comment, subscribe and feel free to upvote! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧