The chirping of the birds sounds sweet. Just like her sweet voice.

Cold breeze runs on the back of my neck that sends a tingling feeling all across my body. I smiled, not realizing that my right hand found its way to my back from the familiar feeling. I used to hate it but now... It's something I miss. I played my hand with the skin on my nape and hung my head low as I lean my elbow on my thigh. I sighed. She used to sneak up on me just to blow a mouthful of air on my neck. After that, she would let a few short giggles escape from her lips as I chase her all over the yard. I don't like it but I just let her so that I could hear her laughs that sounds nothing but a beautiful melody in my ears.

The rubber tire that was hanging on the tree swayed and after a few moments, creaked from the friction. The swing my father made when I was little is still there, untouched for a good few years. That tire holds too much memories. She used to like it as she said the air welcomes her face every time. She would even call out to me and ask me to push her. There was one time I pushed her too hard that made her fall on the grassy ground face first, I stood a few seconds in shock with my mouth wide open as I embraced myself for her screams and cries. But she didn't. She wasn't one of the girls that would cry her heart out because her face got scratch, I guess I just assumed too much. 

Everything is perfect. Well, everything was perfect. 

She was there playing with me in the backyard tree. Her soft laughs would fill the dull air surrounding us. Her beautiful eyes sparkles each and every passing second. Her smile would lift up my mood. Her face... is just as sweet as honey. 

I enjoyed every moment with her and I want to know if she also did. 

 

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The sun shines brightly up in the sky. It blinds me whenever I look at it. Are all things like that? When you shines so bright no one would even dare touch you, no one could stare at you for long because without wanting it, you hurt them. I don't want to shine that bright. The sun must be sad for no one came in contact with him for years. He must be in pain being alone for so long. He can't even touch anyone. It burns. It stings.

But I like the sun. Even if I won't be able to touch it. Even if it blinds me so much. Even if my skin hurts for being expose to it too much. Even if I get a million sunburns, I'd always like the sun. 

Because he helps people. He's there to light their path. He's lonely but it's never the reason to darken everyone else. I think it makes him happy watching people doing a lot of great things.

He's amazing.

"What are you looking up for?" 

I look at the side and sees a girl a little younger than me. Beside me looking up at the sky, trying to look for what I was watching. After a while, she scrunched her nose and looks at me. 

"Hello. I'm Jieun" she smiled, blinking a few times.

My expression darken a bit as I turned my back on her and starts walking away "I know who you are" I hissed. She catched up and walks beside me. Damn. I can feel this girl is gonna be a pain in the .

She followed me wherever I go. Why can't I shake her off? This girl is tiring me. 

"Are you tired?~" 

"Get away from me" I scowled but regretted it afterwards. Why? Because her smile only got bigger. What. Is. Wrong. With. Her.

Shrugging it off, I went to the rubber tire that my dad made as a swing and slip on the middle. She runs behind me smiling from ear to ear "Do you want me to push you?"

"No. I want you to go away" 

"Don't be like that" I feel her hold the rope that was tied to the swing "Let's be friends" 

"I hate crybaby spoiled brats" My expression darken even more than it ever was. What an annoying brat. I heard her chuckle before she touched my back with both her hands and starts pushing me lightly.

"I won't cry. I promise"

Yeah right. I rolled my eyes and let her do what she wants to do. After that one time, I see her every day. She would run to me when she sees me and bugs me to play with her. I hate it. Then my mom would tell me to accompany her and my dad would agree. I wish she would just go away. She's a pain in the . Really annoying. She would blabber here and there and has a lot of stories in her tongue. As if I would listen to any of it. I'm pretty sure she's just complaining most of the time.

"Push me" she told me one time as her smile this time went all the way to her eyes. I rolled my eyes and starts pushing her on the swing. She kept talking and talking and talking. There's not even a time she ever shut up, she always has something to say. "You know, I like flowers! They're beautiful" The swing is going back and forth as my feet did the same. Well, this is tiring, my limbs are going numb. A few more push and I swear I'm gonna stop. She was kinda heavy for a petite little girl. When I was close to my limit, something I didn't expect happened... A rock trip me, making me stumble and push her really hard to the point that she literally flew and fell to the ground with a loud thud.

Tsk. What would I do if she cry? Her parents are with mine inside our house. My dad even asked me to look after her every time. They will surely hear her horrible cries and I'm dead. The thought of that made me hurriedly go to where she fell and helped her up. There were a few scratches on her body and her knee bled. The blue floral dress that was so refreshing on the eyes is now has a smudge of mud and is covered with dirt.

"Come on" I quietly said, then reach out my hand to hold hers. She has her head hung low and refused to move. Clasping my hand tightly, her shoulders began to shake, ready to burst any minute. Well, here it is.

"I won't cry" 

Woah! I'm sorry but that came out as a shock. I looked down at her. She slowly lifts her head up. Her eyes are watery and she's biting her lip, as if fighting the tears back and trying not to let it fall. "I promised you"

 

--------

 

The grasses smoothly sways. Just like how her hair smoothly dances through the air.

I placed the mug that I was sipping from on the coffee table. It's been long but it still doesn't feel like home when there's only one mug lying there, especially when I hate what it tastes like. She used to come here first thing in the morning just to drink a cup of tea. I would wake up and there's already a cup of coffee there on the table. Then we would talk about strange things that only us would understand and futures like we had a clue. Who would have thought that the future we talked about before would be like this? Just then one day, I woke up with nothing on the coffee table. It's been long but I still can taste what her coffee tastes like over my horrible ones. I was so familiar with the smell of her coffee. I was so familiar with her.

I looked at the remote control beside my mug. She used to fight me over it to watch her favorite music channel. Even though it's mine. She always win.

 

--------

 

"What did you say?" I raised my brow at her. She just smiled. We are inside the small house my father built months ago, saying so that this girl and I have somewhere to play into. "That's it! Come here! I'll beat you up brat!" I growled as I stood up in hurry. But the little brat is much quicker than I am. She was already outside running in circles and then to the big tree. She would throw the swing at me whenever she had a chance.

I finally caught up to her after a few rounds on going back and forth to the tree. I caught her wrist and yanked her to face me, her back on the tree's trunk. I let go of her and lean my hand on each side of her head, guarding her. "Say that again brat!"

"When are you going to call me by my name?"

"Never!"

"Come on! Just say Jieun!"

"No"

"Ji. Eun. Come on. Do it!"

"N. O."

"It's just Jieun. It won't hurt you!"

I rolled my eyes "What a brat". My lips curved into a small smile as my hands found its ways to her waist and tummy, tickling her until she can't take it no more, basically to death. "Come on brat. I dare you to say that again"

She looks at me as she desperately hold both my hands with her little ones. And then one side of her lips went high. Did I just see that right? "I dare you to kiss me"

Okay. Now, did I just hear that right?

Yes, that caught me off guard. I stopped tickling her then smirked and scoffed. She was looking right into my eyes and I looked back at her, searching for something that could help me right now. When I found none, I placed my hands back on each side of her head again. We were quiet, to the point that we could hear each other breathe.

Suddenly, I found myself closing the gap between us and my mouth saying "Well, you asked for this". She didn't move. Her lips slightly parted. This is new. I mean well yeah we kissed a lot before. I kiss her. She kiss me. But that was only when we see or leave each other. I kiss her on the forehead. She kiss me on my cheek. We grew that close over the past two years. 

When our lips almost touch each other. Her lips curved into the signature smile she always makes and then she ran away from me, her pony tail sways left and right. There I was, left hanging. Well, I didn't expect that.

I followed her with my eyes and chuckled while shaking my head lightly "That girl really"

 

--------

  

The flowers grew beautifully. Just like her.

The water on the pool hums silently. It's clear and looks so peaceful. I dip my fingers on it and played with the water for a while. She used to swim here almost every day. She would throw me her sunblock and made me apply it to her back. That was when the first time I accidentally touched the side of her s... Yeah... accidentally. Uhm.

Floating on the water, there's the volleyball ball she always play with. She used to make me pump it when some air leaks out. Then she would force me to play with her.

Everything is perfect. Everything was perfect.

  

--------

 

"I didn't expect you to do that" She chuckled as she cleans up the wound on my face I got from fighting. Don't judge. I don't always get into fights, the guy was an okay?

"Yeah right" I scoffed "You were screaming your lungs out for me to kick him on the nuts"

"Oh. Was I?"

"Don't play du-- oh! Ouch! Come on. Don't! Do! That!"

"Stay put!" She hit me on the head lightly and apply some... I don't know what that thing is but she applied something on me. My mom used to do that on my knee. When she was done, she placed all the things she used on the kitchen counter and proceeds to the living room.

I stood from my seat and followed her "You know I'm a warrior, I could have taken him with one blow"

"Warrior my "

I raised my brow "Oh? Your cute little " I smacked her behind and squeezed her right cheek with my left hand while saying that. dropped open as I smiled triumphantly, she laughs and playfully hit my arm. 

"What's that for?"

"You liked it" I wiggled my eyebrows and sit on the sofa, resting my feet and crossing my legs at the coffee table.

"No. I didn't!" She laughs as she slaps me one more time. And then sits beside me. "You know I'm on my period right?"

I rolled my eyes and responds with a duh tone "I bought your pads"

"You were not embarrassed?" 

I want to snapped at her and tell her what's there to be embarrassed for? Periods are completely normal. Well, for girls not for guys "Would I rather see you bleed to death?"

She giggled and rests her head on my shoulder "You're an " She smiled with her whole face as I watch her actions disagree with her words.

"Watch your words brat"

"Hey! You never called me by my name before"

"I told you I would never"

"Daehyun..."

"Hmmm?"

"Call me Jieun"

 

--------

 

I walked into the small alley that was the shortest and easiest way to my favorite bakery. I remember how she would not let me go to the bakery without her so she would hug my arm and never let go until we went back to the house. I smiled from the memory. She was a kid. We only have a two-year gap but it feels like she's a looooooot younger. And she's cute. I liked protecting her from everything that would dare mess with her, like I am her real brother, like we were from the same mother. I remember how she would open up to me about things that were troubling her, she would tell me her problems and I would help her solve them. And all about the secrets that no one knows. But until two years ago, I thought she tells me everything. I was wrong.

"Jieunniee~ Be careful there. It's wet"

"Yes~"

My head suddenly looked up in front of me at the sound of that voice. The voice that is so familiar to me, the sound that's so near yet so far away. There she is, at the other side going to where I came from. With someone her arms are clasping into. She's giggling. She's happy. I smiled, it's good to see that smile again. 

Suddenly, she stopped laughing. The guy nudging her. I remember that boy. He was the same guy who's been courting her since forever. I beat up that guy a few times before. Huh. Guess he didn't give up and took the chance when I was not beside her.

"It's Daehyun" he told her. Yeah right. It's Jung Daehyun, !

She looked at me, biting her lip. They stopped walking and she immediately push him away from him. Clearing , I could see tears forming in her eyes. 

"Hey brat" I want to run to her. I want to hug her. I want to tell her everything is okay. "I mean Jieun" But I can't, I don't want to force her to talk to me if she doesn't want to. So I just wait for whatever she's going to do. That's when tears fell from her eyes. She's looking intently at me that I don't even know what to do. She's not even doing anything else, not smiling nor laughing, not saying something, not blinking. She's just looking at me and letting her tears fall on her white cheeks, not even wiping the tears off. 

After a while, she looks at the guy she's with as I watch her say something to him. He holds her close to his body and walks away. I could only watch them go. She didn't even look back. No glances. No second look. None at all. 

That made me remember what happened two years ago. God! I was an idiot! I didn't even realize what I had done. I even thought it was cute. But she took it pretty hard. I guess she was embarrassed. I thought it was okay. I even remember every word written. I didn't know she felt that way, but still I'm pretty cool with it. I guess she didn't know that. That was the first time I saw her so furious and agitated. I know I was wrong, looking at someone else's personal thing has never been a good thing. 

Everything became like this between us because of that, but even though I regret what I had done, I know it won't change anything. Even though I don't feel the same way towards her, even though I can't return her feelings the same way, she's still my brat and how I wish we were back at the time when we were just like brothers and sisters. I respect her feelings and I would never do anything to take that to my advantage. 

I just hope she knows that.

If I just knew what she thought of me would ruin our relationship, I would never let my curiosity be the best of me.

If I just knew that piece of information would make my best friend turn away from me, I would never read her diary.

I don't know what she feels right now. I don't know what's going on in her mind. But I wish I would be there beside her to wipe her tears away. Maybe she doesn't even want to see my face. Maybe she hates me so much right now. But I just want to heal what I had broken deep inside her.

Because I like her. Even if I won't be able to touch her again. Even if the hatred inside blinds her. Even if it hurts her so much whenever a bit of me exposes too much to her. Even if she gets a million heartaches. I'd always like her.

She's amazing.

She is one of the most important people in my life and even now, I still remember everything like it just happened yesterday.

I just miss my sister.

So much.