part 1

exo texts
OT12 (Kris, Joonmyun, Sehun, Jongin, Jongdae, Kyungsoo, Chanyeol, Yixing, Minseok, Zitao, Luhan, Baekhyun)
 
Chanyeol: guys
 
Chanyeol: guess what I found on tumblr
 
Jongin: NO YOU STOP
 
Kyungsoo: LITERALLY DO NOT
 
Joonmyun: Yeah, I'm with kaisoo on this. We don't need to see any more of your tumblr findings. 
 
Kyungsoo: istg if you refer to me and jongin as kaisoo one more time i'm leaving this goddamn group
 
Kris: hilarious, kyungsoo
 
Kyungsoo: fight me yif :-)
 
Kris: omg
 
Luhan: LMAO join us
 
Joonmyun: DO NOT TEMPT HIM HONESTLY
 
Baekhyun: If ksoo leaves dibs on first shower in the mornings 
 
Kyungsoo: 1) i'm not leaving and 2) i'm going to Severely Injure You and Make You Bleed
 
Jongdae: I wanna see what Chanyeol found :):):)
 
Chanyeol: I don't wanna share it anymore
 
Jongin: why? because you're predictable and basic af?
 
Chanyeol: :(
 
Jongin: :)
 
Kris: guys stfu i'm trying to sleep
 
Sehun: turn your phone off then
 
Kris: Did you just rise from the dead to sass me? 
 
Sehun: Nah, I've been observing. Call me. 
 
Joonmyun: You two call each other?
 
Sehun:........anyway......
 
Joonmyun: Um!!!! Guys!!!!
 
Yixing: It's fine, I hear them. Sehun's just a . 
 
Sehun: ?????? rude
 
Yixing: Really? Who in this group chat has done with Sehun in the past month?
 
Jongin: :)
 
Chanyeol: :) 
 
Kris: :)
 
Sehun: S TOP
 
Baekhyun: :)
 
Zitao: :)
 
Joonmyun: ........ :)
 
Jongdae: +me. that's officially over half of this goddamned boy band. amazing. 
 
Sehun: It's not my fault I have an that won't quit. 
 
Sehun: Bye
 
 
HomoSquad (Baekhyun, Zitao, Yixing, Sehun)
 
Yixing: omfg baekhyun what is this
 
Baekhyun: we need a chat for the strictly dickly members
 
Yixing: I'm? not gay. 
 
Baekhyun: literally shut up with your internalized homophobia. we're all gay here. you don't have to be a head. 
 
Yixing: okayyourrightbutIstillhateyou
 
Sehun: Where's Jongin? Or Luhan? Or Minseok?
 
Zitao: 100% Luhan should be here
 
Baekhyun: Luhan's all domesticated and boring though. Same with Minseok. And Jongin's bi
 
Sehun: seemed pretty gay this morning ;)
 
Baekhyun: Seemed pretty bi a week ago backstage after with a certain red velvet member js ;)
 
Sehun: Why are you such a dickhole? I don't want to hear about what Jongin does unless it's what he's planning on doing to me. 
 
Zitao: AHH SOMEONE HAS A CRUSH
 
Sehun: yeah crushing his stupid head between my thighs for ing some chick and not telling me
 
Yixing: aww sehun loves jongin
 
Sehun: ndsjdjqjxjjsjdbe none of you are getting any ever again
 
Zitao: Sehun
 
Zitao: Do you realize how bad it is that you can take off the table for an entire group chat worth of people? 
 
Baekhyun: @ jongin please domesticate him
 
Sehun changed the group name to AssGod and the Squad 
 
Sehun: later, gay boys. 
 
Yixing changed the group name to Sehun loves Jongin
 
Zitao: omg 
 
Baekhyun: <333
 
Group 3 (Chanyeol, Jongdae, Baekhyun) 
 
Chanyeol: hey baekhyun
 
Chanyeol: hey douchebag
 
Chanyeol: guess who
 
Chanyeol: ed your girl
 
Baekhyun: you do realize that we aren't actually dating, right?
 
Baekhyun: also shes a friend so have some respect!!!
 
Jongdae: says the who made it his goal to nail ever member of shinee in under two months 
 
Baekhyun: I'm not liking the disrespect especially since I succeeded 
 
Chanyeol: guess what else I did? don't guess actually just wait 
 
Jongdae: ......chanyeol stop being sketchy.......
 
Jongdae:  OM G 
 
Baekhyun: J F C WHAT WAS THAT SOUND. KYUNGSOO IS LITERALLY SHRILLING. 
 
Jongdae: HOLY IS THAt a RAT THAT JUst RAN OUT OF HIS ROOM WTF
 
Chanyeol: I found the lil guy in the kitchen earlier so I put him under a bucket in ksoo's room :)
 
Jongdae: you're ed (nice one though)
 
Baekhyun: I'm gunna go comfort him
Jongdae: he's never going to sleep with you baek 
 
Baekhyun: we'll see
 
Chanyeol: no we won't
 
Baekhyun: fu chanyeol you ed my coverup girlfriend
 
OT12 (Kris, Joonmyun, Sehun, Jongin, Jongdae, Kyungsoo, Chanyeol, Yixing, Minseok, Zitao, Luhan, Baekhyun)
 
Kyungsoo: Heads. Are. Going. To. ing. Roll. 
 
Kyungsoo: I want to know who did this. Who put a ing rat in my room? Because I'm going to shove it up your live. 
 
Luhan: HAHA
 
Luhan: That's a new one. 10 bucks it was baekhyun. 
 
Baekhyun: Why me? 
 
Luhan: because you lowkey want to ksoo and you do weird around people you're for
 
Baekhyun: you would know
 
Minseok: chill
 
Minseok: I don't want to hear that
 
Luhan: ily bb
 
Minseok: :)love you
 
Yixing: see this is why you two weren't added to the gay group chat
 
Kris: this isn't the gay group chat?
 
Jongdae: no, this is four gays and 10 biuals. this chat is only 75% gay. 
 
Jongin changed the group name to 75% Gay
 
Zitao: LMAO
 
Joonmyun: What about Minseok?
 
Minseok changed the group name to 83.3333333% Gay
 
Sehun: oh true
 
Sehun: it's easy to forget because you're in a gross committed relationship
 
Minseok: someone sounds jealous 
 
Minseok: "Sehun loves Jongin" 
 
Baekhyun: WHAT HAPPENS IN THE GAY GROUP CHAT STAYS IN THE GAY GROUP CHAT MINSEOK THIS IS WHY WE DIDNT ADD YOU
 
Minseok: Anyway
 
Jongin: what
 
Sehun: nothing it's just a joke
 
Jongin: you don't love me? :(
 
Sehun: NO I do just!!! 
 
Sehun: Minseok i h8 you
 
Conversation: Sehun, Jongin
 
Jongin: Sehun
 
Sehun: Jongin
 
Jongin: What's going on?
 
Jongin: Is everything okay?
 
Sehun: Yeah yeah everything's fine. Baekhyun's trying to get with Kyungsoo so that's a thing. 
 
Jongin: Sehun that's v interesting but it's not what I want to talk about
 
Sehun: What do you wanna talk about then?
 
Jongin: Don't
 
Jongin: Be
 
Jongin: Like
 
Jongin: This
 
Jongin: Just tell me what's going on. Do you not wanna anymore? Is that is?
 
Sehun: NO! NO THATS NOT IT. 
 
Jongin: Oh good. Don't tell anyone I'm feeding your ego, but nobody else..does it right....
 
Sehun: Does what right, Jongin? ;)
 
Jongin: Me. 
 
Jongin: nobody else does me right. that's not the point. you're trying to change the subject. 
 
Sehun: you're so hot when you talk about me ing you. more of that, please. 
 
Jongin: seeeehhuuuuuuuuuun
 
Sehun: yeah baby say my name
 
Sehun: I'm kidding I'm sorry okay
 
Sehun: so maybe I kind of like you. Well, more than like. I like potato chips, and I definitely would choose you over potato chips. I don't know where this is going. 
 
Jongin: I love you too. 
 
Sehun: Jongin!!! :):):)
 
Jongin: You have to say it!!!
 
Sehun: Hold on. I'm coming to your room to say it. Omg. Jongin <33
 
 
83.3333333% Gay (Kris, Joonmyun, Sehun, Jongin, Jongdae, Kyungsoo, Chanyeol, Yixing, Minseok, Zitao, Luhan, Baekhyun)
 
Jongdae: Uh guys. Sehun just burst into Jongin's room, told him he loves him, and kicked me out. 
 
Chanyeol: True and I'm pretty sure I hear Unholy Sounds coming from that bedroom
 
Chanyeol: and I don't even mean Sehun unholy. I mean lovey dovey giggling and kissy sounds. 
 
Yixing: I'm gunna barf
 
Kris: Guys, do you know what this means?
 
Kris: Sehun has been tamed. 
 
Zitao: Amazing
 
Kyungsoo: Revolutionary
 
Joonmyun: oh thank god
 
Minseok: OMFG THATS SO CUTE
 
Luhan: lowkey double dates if I'm ever allowed back in korea. or skype dates. just set me up on a laptop and bring me along. 
 
Baekhyun: damn i'm kinda jealous. 
 
Kyungsoo: of mushy love ? why?
 
Baekhyun: no...just of commitment. that might be cool. 
 
Kyungsoo: like fwb?
 
Baekhyun: or enemies with benefits
 
Baekhyun: just saying
 
Kris: Oh my god!!! Get a room!!!!
 
Kyungsoo: .......
 
Kyungsoo: pce
 
Baekhyun: ;);););)
 
Yixing: IM GAY AF 
 
Joonmyun: I need a drink. Who's down?
 
Zitao: yes
 
Jongdae: yes x2
 
Minseok: omg yeah
 
Luhan: bring me on skype
 
Yixing: yes
 
Chanyeol: i'm down
 
Kyungsoo: Baekhyun and I are coming
 
Zitao: "baekhyun and I" ####okay
 
Jongin: we're coming 
 
Zitao: jongin and sehun are a full on "we" !! 
 
Kris: have fun guys. get ed up for me. 
 
Sehun: I hope you get
your tn kris <333333
 
Kris: bye sehun
 
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Comments

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antimaknae
#1
actual fave i couldnt stop laughing so much omfg please do keep posting these!!! the sekai was the absolute greatest i cant even
kaiihun
#2
Chapter 1: the sekai and baeksoo omg i love u
iluvryuk #3
Chapter 3: OOOMMMMGGGG!!!!!!!!this is the funniest i ever read..update soon
BeeDoBee
#4
Chapter 3: OMGGG!!! I LOVE THIS
ESPECIALLY THE BAEKSOO LITERALLY BAEKSOO, THIS IS THE REAL BAEKSOO ^^
I LOVE EVERYTHING HERE AND SEKAI TOO GOSH ASHNSEIAJD
GDI THE HOMOSQUAD REMINDS ME OF MY FRIENDS WE ACTUALLY HAVE A GROUP CHAT AND ITS NAME LIKE THAT HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Catalina390 #5
Chapter 3: Seem taochen right there~ more krisho please
yoooonbae #6
Chapter 3: Sekai still the stingy couple smh
SuperFluffyCat #7
Chapter 3: Literally every time this updates, I get excited like a kid on Christmas morning.

AAAAAAAAHHHHH BAEKSOO BEING CUTE MAH HEART CAN'T TAKE THIS <3

HomoSquad is still favorite. :D

Omg drunk Zitao. Omg Jongdae go save him plz.
opikonew #8
Chapter 2: like that like thisssss ><
baekedhyun #9
Chapter 2: update soon pls thank