Boy in luv
Black-Symphony
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Beyond the horizon, the sun begins to set. The sky, illuminates with hues of gold, rose and purple, before eventually being completely consumed by the darkness of the night. The full moon which hovers above, reflects off of the still waters of the Han river in the distance. With his legs swinging off of the roofs ledge, Rapmon sits there silently, a bottle of soju in hand.
I11even: "you don't look like any 'Boy in love' I've ever seen."
Rap Monster: "heh... Clever."
Without turning to face him, I11even, who steadily approaches, chuckles under his breath before contemplating the thought of having a seat beside Rapmon. He peers off to the side and cringes slightly, stepping back and continuing to chuckle nervously.
I11even: "maybe I should just stand, yeah, I'll just stand here."
Rapmon sighs softly, then places the bottle to his lips. He proceeds to sip sparingly, wiping droplets of soju from his full lips before raising the bottle over his head and handing it over to I11even. He crouches down beside Rapmon, on the opposite side of the roofs ledge, before taking a sip from the bottle himself.
I11even: "ey, what's wrong with you Namjoon?"
Rap Monster: "I just feel empty Hyung..."
I11even: "empty?! Are you freakin' kidding me? You literally just performed your off on national TV about an hour ago. How the hell can you feel empty?"
Rap Monster: "I don't know, I just do. Don't get me wrong -- I'm greatful, but I just can't shake this feeling that I have."
I11even: "I just think you're too hard on yourself Namjoon, the way you always are. You're more successful than ever, 'prettier' than ever--"
Rapmon laughs softly to himself, turning slightly and swatting at I11even's arm, shaking his balance and causing him to fall back into his behind. With a fading smile across his face, Rapmon turns back toward the city lights, which twinkle beneath his feet. He raises upright, now standing shakily on the ledge -- exhaling softly as he stares onward.
Rap Monster: "you know, for years, before my debut , I would have this recurring dream where -- I would be standing on a ledge just like this. It just so happened to be the roof of my high school. And -- and I would stare down at all the students down below, not being able to recognize a single face. Despite being one of the highest ranked students at the school, I didn't know a soul."
I11even: "Namjoon, maybe this -- isn't a dream you should be re-enacting."
Rap Monster: "for a while... It would end with me tearing up a test or homework, something obviously not important, and the falling pieces of paper would make the students look up. And I would jump..."
I11even: "I think that you should come down from there."
Rap Monster: "you know -- for the longest time, I never understood why I would always jump. Then I realized... It was because, even though everyone was only looking up because they were wondering where the papers were falling from, they were finally looking up at me."
I11even: "but isn't that what you wanted? Why would you still jump?"
Rap Monster: "because it's what I thought I wanted, once received... I would realize it was still not enough."
I11even: "but you said that it would end like that for a while, what changed?"
RapMon continues to stare directly ahead. His arms spread out to his sides and he holds them their to balance himself. His right foot raises, pulling itself up off of the ledge, then proceeds moving it forward; allowing it to hover in mid air.
I11even: "Namjoon, come down, please."
Rap Monster: "it did change. One night, the dream went on as usual, but somebody else was on the roof with me."
I11even: "who?"
Rap Monster: "Hunchul Hyung..."
I11even: "and he -- saved you?"
Rap Monster: "heh -- not the first time -- the first time he actually pushed me off, but the second time..."
I11even: "even in a dream he's an ."
Rap Monster: "ha, yeah -- but the second time, he stopped me and when that happened, it was the last time that I would have that dream. Well, the last time until the day he left."
I11even: "but those were just dreams."
Rap Monster: "ever since he left, I have the dream, but this time -- I stop myself from jumping."
I11even: "progress, you see. Because you don't need anyone else to save you."
Rap Monster: "I wish that -- that were the reason why I stop myself... But it's not. I stop myself because I always wake up before I hit the ground, and I know that if I stay there on the ledge that there is a chance that he will come back. So I don't jump because I don't want to wake up."
I11even: "Namjoon..."
I11even watches as Rapmon plants his foot back down firmly onto the ledge. His head hangs low and he sighs once again.
Rap Monster: "on nights when I don't seem to dream, I'll wake up in the middle of the night and do this... I'll stand on a ledge and wait, hoping that he'll know somehow that I'm in danger and he'll come save me. Heh... Pretty sad, right?"
I11even sips from the soju once again while stepping forward. He raises one foot and places it on the ledge, lifting himself up before placing both feet down and standing beside Rapmon, wobbling lightly, and laughing nervously. Rapmon turns his head to face I11even and is greeted with a frightened grin.
I11even: "I don't know what it's like to be in love if I'm being honest. So I don't really get it, and I certainly don't get the whole 'gay' thing, but, I do know one thing, and that is that you Namjoon are one of the smartest people that I know. Too smart to be on this ledge, and too smart to think that you don't have anyone who will stand here with you. Look at me -- I'm Scared less right now, heh, but I'm here. And I'll stay here, because the last time I left you alone, you went and became a huge idol sensation -- and a blonde!"
Rap Monster cackles loudly, and it echoes amongst the silence of the midnight hour. I11even continues to wobble, before jumping back and landing firmly on the rooftop floor. He reaches out, and it's reciprocated by Rapmon, and he joins him, finally stepping off of the ledge.
I11even: "I'll stand with you for as long as you need me too. Just not on the actual ledge."
Rap Monster: "by the way, I'm not a 'huge Idol sensation' Ilkje hyung!"
I11even: "but you're still blonde!"
Rap Monster: "hey! Blondes have more fun man!"
I11even reaches out and wraps his arm around Rapmon's neck, pulling on it downward and holding him in a playful headlock. Rapmon's arms flail about as he struggles to pull away.
I11even: "let that be that last time you ever say something like that!"
Rap Monster: "ha -- ha! Okay! Okay!"
I11even: "and let that be the last time you make me stand on the ledge of a damn roof to prove a freakin' point to you!"
Rap Monster: "Aish!!!"
I11even ruffles Rapmon's perfectly styled blonde hairdo before releasing his hold. The two laugh in unison, while heading toward the exit. On its own, the door swings open, and Supreme Boi steps out onto the rooftop.
Supreme Boi: "ey! What's going on up here?! We can all hear you from the apartment!"
I11even: "nothing, just celebrating with 'Rap Monster' here on Bangtan Sonyeondans successful goodbye stage."
Supreme Boi: "ah, that's right! Boys in love!"
I11even and Supreme Boi begin to mockingly hum the words to the song, while dancing effeminately, causing Rapmon to raise his hands to cover his mouth, muffling his loud laughter.
Supreme Boi: "you guys are up here drinking? Pass the Soju!"
Rapmon reaches out and snatches the bottle out of i11even's hand. Raising the bottle to his lips and finishing off the soju, before shaking the contents of the empty bottle in Supreme Boi's direction, laughing tauntingly.
Rap Monster: "all out!"
I11even: "sorry Donghyuk."
Supreme Boi: "don't be sorry, there's plenty of Soju in the apartment. I just wanted to join in the celebration. Let's have some drinks and lay down some tracks while we're all here."
I11even: "sounds good to me."
Rap Monster: "sorry fellas, but I have a radio interview in the morning and I really should be heading back now."
Supreme Boi: "you ! At least come down and say bye to everyone before you go."
Rap Monster: "yeah, of course."
Supreme Boi begins to hum boy in love one more time as he steps through the doorway and off of the rooftop. I11even drapes his arm across Rapmon's back and the two begin to walk toward the exit once again.
I11even: "listen. I look at you like my little brother, and a part of me has always felt bad for leaving the way I did -- only because I always felt a need to protect you. When the whole thing happened with Hunchul, I didn't know how to react. Instead of protecting you from him, I left, and I let him hurt you."
Rap Monster: "it's not your fault hyung."
I11even: "I just -- don't want you on anymore rooftops, okay."
Rap Monster: "okay."
I11even: "and don't waste your time stressing yourself out over Hunchul. This should be the happiest time of your life. Embrace it, make new connections, and just enjoy it. You're young, famous, and blonde."
They reach the door and Rapmon can't help but laugh at the comments being made about his hair. I11even stands at the doorway, the door being held open by his back and he looks to Rapmon and smirks.
I11even: "you gonna' be okay, right?"
Rap Monster: "yeah -- and thanks hyung."
I11even: "We're family, I'll always be there for you."
Upon exiting the rooftop, Farewells are speedily given. And after a brief ride in a nearby taxi cab he has reached his destination. An exchange of money is made and Rapmon steps out of the cab. The top buttons of his white dress shirt which snugly wraps around his slender frame from beneath his black and white houndstooth print blazer are unfastened.
He reaches inside, slowly retracting a small blue key which connects to a gold chain which wraps around his neck. Sitting in the center of his palm, he clutches onto it tightly before tucking it back under his shirt as he heads into the building. While stepping past both the buildings entrance and the elevator doors he awaits it to reach his desired location.
As he steps off the elevator the sound of cheering escaping the dorm litters out into the hallway. He inhales deeply whilst standing in front of the door, swiping his key card to unlock it. A collective of shushing can be heard masked behind concealed giggles as he steps inside.
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