She is winter. 

In the early morning, slight winterdrops present her. Calm, peaceful and quite mild. She wakes up with a memory loss for a few moments, before the laborious reality comes upon her and gives her body a light yet a burning shudder. With a shake of head, she tries to move a step forward, mentally. Though, it does not really work. She then crawls slowly and limply to the kitchen, and as she sits there to wait for her toast to pop out of the toaster, she rests her sharp chin upon her thin, smooth palm and permits the anamnesis to attack her. 

As soon as the agonizing memories rush and flash before her eyes, she role plays the severe winds. She gets on her weak bones and offhandedly starts sweeping away whatever blocks her way, whether it was her mom's most adored and recherché piece of furniture, or her dad's new and indispensable reading glasses, or her sister's priceless baseball bat which is dedicated specifically to her. 

After her mother embraces her affectionately to her warm and convenient chest, she rests her body and her nerves cool off causally. This is when the snow falls and turn everything into purity and innocence. She drowns in the ardor of her mom's twined arms around her slim figure, sniffing faintly like a satisfied baby drinking his milk after a cruel hunger. And the mother glances down at the numb creature in her arms, gulping her weeping. 

As soon as she steps out of her room, after an hour of getting herself perfectly well prepared for the meeting she has been waiting for only God knows how long, her father hesitatingly makes his way toward her, as he cups her shoulders warmly and gently in attempts of capturing her dim and sorrowful gaze, or at least embezzling a glance, but he surrenders as she inclines her neck, focusing on the floor. He understands and is well aware that it is not by her hands, she knows that if she looks her father in the eyes, she will be giving him a word of being definitely okay, but she is not. 

“Are you sure you want to do that?” He asks softly with his soulful voice of a father, as he draws her slim and weak figure in his arms, embracing her adoringly. As she feels how fatherly the hug is, she feels her heart breaks into endless number of pieces. It hurts her to death to realize how sad and bereaved her family is to see her fall off her previous habitually life routine. She surrenders and separates herself from the delightful and incomparably cheerful smiles, and when she withdraws, then she never attempts to retrieve the antique Naeun. 

She clumps toward her destination, feeling a rock lodged upon her chest, tied up with her veins, scarcely inhaling, heavily exhaling, a stream of hot tears already wrinkling her cheeks' skin. She is physically, just as mentally, collapsing. With each heavy breath she takes in, she feels her bones go weaker, she notices how close she's getting to the ground, she feels how soon it is. 

As her kneecaps touch the frosty ground, clammy sensation hits her, she blocks the gaped lips with her cold palms, preventing any high-pitched whimper from escaping and flaring up, the atmosphere is calm and quite serene, although many figures registered their presences, but they remained hushful and peacefully close-mouthed. 

She can feel the burning flood of tears running and melting her skin, she can feel the bitter pain and the reddish, obvious veins in her eyes, she senses how her body is turning into a sleeping frame. 
Her hand crawls upon the frigid snow, follows her midsection. She rests her side-head there, glancing morosely and  painfully at the barely-seen gravestone. 

“How've you been..” She mutters faintly then slams her eyes shut as she recalls the heavenly and indescribably happy moments. The memory of when she met him, and how they accidentally knocked into each other. Another one of when he claimed her as his one and only property. A kiss on a cheek, a warm, convenient embrace during the chilly winter nights, a breathtaking lips' deep and passionate kiss. All these memories flash before her eyes, and the salty liquid rushes out of her contracted eyelids. 

“I am sorry I have not paid a visit earlier..” She inhales deeply, it is abnormally heartrending for her to after all those months of sleepless nights, grievous and sorrowful days, to visit the same person who left her behind and put her thought a phase of anguish.

“I am sorry I did not gather enough courage to meet you again..” She breaks into her tears as she surrenders and permits her weeping to evade, why is this happening. What wrong has she done for god's sake, to go through such a wretched conditions. 
She then carries her breath out, sniffing detectably. “I was afraid.. Afraid of your reaction..
Maybe afraid of the upcoming nights.. That will be repeated all over again..”
Truth is admitted, she is undoubtedly afraid to the last breath of the insufferable future which depends on this current moment. 

“I am afraid I might not be able to sleep after meeting you..
I am afraid I might see nightmares of us..
I am afraid of the endless pain and the wounds that are barely healed to open again..” How crueler could life hit her? She has been counting down the number of days, the number of hours she'll be able to bear with an unfairly arduous lifetime. 

“I am truly sorry..” She exhales out the end of her agony, she lies down there, peacefully and calmly. No more pain, no more memories'-haunting, tears will evaporate eventually, and her body will finally have the opportunity to rest. She can finally meet him now, their souls can finally meet up and unite as they were before. She misses him way too much to stay on the ground while he's somewhere in the sky.

_________

I truly hope you like it, guys. I have finally finished it, and if you think it's good enough, I'm thinking about a new one-shot fanfic. 

Tell me your opinion, please. It matters a lot. 

Ily. Muah. ❤️