00 The Graduation

 

Happy chatters and cheerful laughter fill the hall. Students dressed in their blue and gold robes are busy posing for pictures with their friends and family. Everyone is smiling.

 

‘So many people,’ she grimaces, as she slowly trudges through the crowd. Keeping her eyes peeled for her own parents, she barely manages a tiny smile when her peers congratulate her. In the distance, she spots her parents standing awkwardly among the crowd. Her smile widens.

 

She picks up her speed and beams at her parents, holding up her certificates for them to see. Her face falls when the most that they can manage is just a nod. Not even an approving smile.

 

“I came up first. With other accolades.” She meekly manages, still watching their faces.

 

A few nods from her father. Her mother doesn’t even bother trying to keep her eyes focused on her.

 

Shuffling through her certificates, “Excellence in Foreign Languages and -,”

 

“Yes, okay. Enough already.” Her mother snaps.

 

Her father places a hand on her mother, moving his hand up and down to soothe her. “Watch your pressure.” He throws an upset glance in the small figure’s way.

 

“My poor Ji Hyun, she should have been here. Not..” she casts an ugly look at her younger daughter, “this.”

 

The girl lowers her gaze and keeps it fixated on the ground. She tightens her grip on the certificates. Shutting her eyes tight, she begins counting down. 10.. 9.. 8..

 

Her father sighs. “Stop, today is a happy occasion.”

 

“Ji Hyun was our pride. But this jinx took her away from us. How do you expect me to be happy in front of this murderer?”

 

7.. 6.. 5..

 

“She’s a jealous prick! She was always jealous that Ji Hyun is better. But even if Ji Hyun is out of the way, she will never be able to replace her!”

 

“Honey, you’re getting too loud.”

 

Even as she tries to block out the surroundings, she could hear the growing murmurs and feel the burning stares.

 

4.. 3.. 2..

 

“You’re just a waste of space.” Her mother pushes her lightly. “You’d never be good enough for us.” Another push. “You should have died, not Ji Hyun.” A shove.

 

The girl landed on the floor, her certificates spread across. Her gaze still on the ground, she opens her eyes to see her mother’s heels walking over her achievements. Her father apologizes to the crowd as they walk through them.

 

“F- you.”

 

She fails at holding it in. The tears start leaking.

 

“F- you.”

 

She gets louder. More venom is in her voice.

 

“F- you!”

 

She’s lost control.

 

The entire hall falls silent. They watch as the girl stands up and turns towards her parents, who have stopped in their tracks.

 

Finally. Finally, they are looking at her.

 

Her eyes flutter across everyone’s faces. Shock, worry, and fear.

 

No one has ever known that she has this in her. She was always the teacher’s pet, doing everything almost close to perfection. She’s the girl who sits in the corner of the class, so quiet that she blends in with the background.

 

She staggers towards her parents, her stare on her mother. The hall remains silent that every footstep can be heard clearly. She stops.

 

Looking dead into her mother’s eyes, “F- you.”

 

Pushing through in between her parents, she continues to make her way out of the hall. No one moves as they watch her.

 

Maybe someone should have followed her to ask her if she’s fine.  Maybe someone should have followed her to make sure she is fine.

Maybe someone should have followed her, maybe she’d be fine.

 

But they just watch as she weakly walks through the door. They watch her standing by the road, her body swaying with the wind. They watch her body fly up and land with a thud on the ground. They watch as she lies there, eyes blinking, chest heaving.

 

“Ji Yeon!”

 

Ji Yeon. She hates that name.

 

Call me Lina.

 

---

 

©  Ally Park, 2015