He’ll never like me. Why would Mark like someone like me? I should just give up. This one sided crush is really getting on my nerves.

This was what was going on in Mina’s head for most of the day, throughout most of the year, for two years already.

She was so sick of this crush she had. Mark was in her head all the time. Everywhere, anytime.

Even when she was doing a test; I wonder how he’s doing? Does he know how to do question 7? He probably does.

Even when she was cooking dinner; I wanna make food for him. Would he like my cooking? Does he cook?

Even when she was watching dramas; This is sweet but so is Mark. I wish this was Mark and I. Why can’t Mark and I have that relationship?

 

-

 

Mark and Mina where both in their last year of high school. They were in the same class in Year 10 and that was when Mina’s impossible one sided crush for Mark began.

 

 

 

 

Flashback, Year 10, first day of school ;

 

Mina twiddled her thumbs waiting for her new homeroom teacher. Unfortunately, none of her friends were in this class. As she looked around the classroom, everyone looked as though they had their friends with them. She took out her MnM’s from her bag and ate a few. MnM’s were Mina’s favorite snack.

“This is gonna be a hard year” she had thought.

Little did she know it was about to become even harder.

The teacher came in and began calling the roll.

“Seo Yu Na”

“Here”

“Song Myung Hyun”

“Here”

“Tuan Mark”

“Here”

“What kind of name is that? Is he Chinese?” Mina wondered.

She looked up at the owner of that name. His hair was a fierce red colour. She couldn’t see the front of him though as he was in front of her. His back was very…broad and sturdy-looking though.

“He looks intimidating and he’s not someone you should approach, Mina” she concluded.

That conclusion completely changed when the bell rang and he turned around. Mina saw his eyes. They were so child-like and gentle, unlike the aura his back gave. His nose was sharp and his lips were a nice reddish-pink colour.

Mina, what are you thinking. Are you high.

How come she never knew of this Mark guy’s existence in school? His aura screamed protection.

 

From that day on, Mina developed a crush for the Mark guy and this continued for two years straight.

Throughout the years, they hardly talked; they rarely even exchanged hello’s or even excuse me’s. They never talked, not even asking about homework online. They were never partnered for any assignments or even seat buddies in any subject. Mina had never seen him out of school on weekends or bumped into him after school at shops or parks or movies or beaches or anywhere.

Fate was just this lovely to Mina. She had carried the burden of always looking out for Mark whenever she was outside, which was the reason she even bothered to look presentable when she shopped for groceries or anything. She didn’t have his number or any of his contact information (apart from being friends with him on Facebook and she initiated that add). The most romantic interaction between her and Mark was when he handed Mina her Biology test result, which didn’t even leave a good impression. 63% was what she received in that test that Mark handed out to her. Mina’s average Biology mark was usually up in the 80’s.

Obviously they weren’t meant to be, or else fate would have planned some interactions between the two. At least once.

 

 

-

-

 

 

Mark had liked Mina ever since year 8. The first time he saw her was on the bus and made sure she didn’t see him. When he saw her, his heart started beating faster. He didn’t think much of it though. How much could a 14 year old kid understand crushes and liking people? Not much. He was just simply attracted to the way Mina interacted with other people. He saw her voluntarily stand up for other public passengers, not only the elderly. He admired her kindness to others. Obviously, he caught a different bus to her after that as he didn’t like it when his little heart was beating too fast.

School began and they were not in the same class in year 8. Mark didn’t really think much about it though.

But one day, Mark was in a supermarket with his Mom when he saw Mina by herself. She was reaching for a jumbo pack of MnM’s.

“She must really love MnM’s. I would never be able to finish them.” He thought.

He smiled to himself and took note of her love for MnM’s automatically.

A year passed and Mark bumped into Mina a few more times (making sure she never saw him). Once, he saw her at the library, studying. He immediately turned around and walked towards the children’s books section. Another time, he was about to eat at a Japanese restaurant but he saw Mina sitting with her friends inside and automatically turned around to leave.

He hated being nervous around her, he wanted to be a cool swag bad boy.

Why am I even so nervous? She doesn’t even know I exist.

Later that day, Mark received a friend request on Facebook. He casually clicked on it and his jaw nearly dropped when he saw who it was.

Choi Mi Na.

And a profile picture of her in her beautiful white dress smiling sweetly with her black straight hair tied in a simple ponytail.

Smiling like an idiot, Mark clicked on “accept”. He was in an excellent mood for the rest of the week.

 

Year 10 came and Mark hoped that he would be in the same class as Mina. He walked into the classroom scanned the new class.

And there she was.

Mina was sitting in the fourth row by herself.

Eating MnM’s.

“Her love for MnM’s hasn’t disappeared. “Mark smiled to himself.

Mark took a seat in the third row and tried his best to act normal. He would’ve preferred to sit behind her but all seats were full. Sighing, Mark took a seat diagonally to the right of Mina.

-

“Mark, can you please assist me in handing out our Year 10 Biology Exam results?” the teacher asked.

“Yes, Mrs. Park” he replied.

The Biology teacher, Mrs. Park handed him a handful of marked Science papers. Without thinking too much he started handing them out. He was fine until his next paper to hand out was Choi Mina’s. Her name was written neatly in the top right hand corner of the paper. Under her name was a scrawl saying 63%.

“Mina’s usually really good at Biology, what happened?” he wondered.

He put her paper at the bottom of the pile and continued handing out the rest. After all the rest were handed out, Mark tried his best to block out the loud beating of his heart and half gave/shoved the paper in her face. He turned away before he could see her reaction. He was so nervous.

“That was our first interaction and I ruined it” he thought, pissed at himself.

Mark received his own result. It was 92%. He was pleased with himself. All that studying and listening in class definitely paid off well.

Should I offer to help Mina with her Science? He thought.

No.

No.

That would be strange. I barely know her.

He opened his Facebook chat, hoped that Mina was online, and yes she was and typed

Hey mina :)

And he backspaced everything. He tried again.

You need Bio help?

“That sounds so rude.” He thought

He backspaced that. He tried again.

Hi Mina ^^ I was wondering if you wanted any assistance for Biology?? :D

“No, I sound like a girl who’s happy and creepy” he thought.

He backspaced that.

Mark sighed. Why was it so hard?

He closed Facebook and went downstairs for dinner.

 

-

 

Year 12 started. Mark still a crush on Mina. It had been four years.

I must be insane.

He still didn’t have a girlfriend. He just couldn’t stop thinking about Mina.

 

On one fine Tuesday in March, Mark finally decided to do something he had been thinking of doing since year 8.

To confess to Mina.

Mark knew where Mina lived and decided to head to that area. He wasn't a creepy stalker though, because they lived really close to each other, that was how he knew. He knew it would be really sudden for her. But he thought that maybe, just maybe, she also liked him. He would sometimes see her looking at him during class (obviously not making eye contact back) but maybe that was just his brain trying to make himself feel better about his depressing one sided crush. Whatever it was, it gave him encouragement.

 

Mark was stressing. He had just got home from school and changed into his casual clothes.

Should I really confess to Mina? Is this the right decision?

He went to his pantry at home and found a small packet of MnM’s.

I’ll give these to her as well.

Suddenly an insanely smart idea came into his head.

MnM’s…that stands for Mark and Mina…

He was so pleased with his twisted reasoning and for no reason, he felt even more pumped for his confession.

 

 

-

-

 

It was another hard day of intense note taking at school and Mina was so happy she was nearly home.

Mina, you can do this, it’s Tuesday. You only have three more days left until the weekend.

Her phone rang.

“Hello?”

“Mina-ah, can you buy some cucumbers on your way back at the supermarket? I need them for the salad that you like.” Her mum said.

“Yeah sure Mum” she replied.

-

Mina entered the supermarket and went to the vegetable section. After picking some fresh looking cucumbers she headed to the checkout. While lining up, Mina glanced at the packets of gum, lollies and magazines on the side. She looked at the MnM’s. They were her favorite. I want that.

Too bad she didn’t have enough money for it as she was saving up for a present for her little sister’s birthday.

After buying the cucumbers, Mina continued walking home.

 

 

Suddenly, Mark appeared from the opposite direction. Dressed in casual clothes, he was wearing a simple black sweater with maroon colored jeans with Vans. His hair was still the same blazing red but he also had a snapback on which made him look even better.

Did I just bump into Mark.

“Hey Mina” he said, his breathing still unstable.

“Hi?” she replied.

What. Why is Mark in front of me?  I don’t look good. My hair’s a mess. I’m carrying a bag saying “Jim’s Supermarket” with cucumbers inside. Those two years of being conscious of my fashion everywhere, I just had to bump into him still in my school uniform looking like a mess. Oh no. What is this.

“I have something for you” he said.

This is so sudden. Why is he talking to me like we’ve known each other for a long time? Actually we have but still…we’ve never talked.

And was that shyness Mina could hear in his voice?

He pulled out a packet of MnM’s from his jeans pocket.

“Here.” He said, taking her hand and placing the small packet in her hands.

“Thanks.” She took it without a second thought. She wanted to act normal around him and completely ignored the fast beating of her heart. But she was so confused.

“Aren’t you gonna ask why I’m giving these to you?” he asked.

“Oh great, my plan isn’t working” Mark thought.

“Um ok? Why?” she asked, bewildered.

“Mark you can do this” he cheered himself on.

“You know how they’re MnM’s?”

Mina slowly nodded, still not getting the point.

“Well… umm” he scratched his head looking embarrassed. His cool swag bad boy aura he hoped to convey completely disappeared as shades of pink appeared on his cheeks and as he looked to the ground, avoiding Mina’s eye contact. “It’s like M for Mark and M for Mina. Mina, I like you, I’ve liked you for a really long time, ever since Year 8 actually, when you moved here. I’ve been watching you for a really long time but I never had the guts to confess… Also, I sometimes catch you staring at me. That means something doesn’t it? You also like me right? Mina, I really like you. Will you go out with me?” He asked, sincerely.

What.

What.

What.

Mina’s mind was blank. She was trying to process what just happened.

This was Mark. The Mark she had not uttered a single sentence to him confessing to her.

What’s going on? Am I dreaming?

“Are you serious?” she spluttered.

He looked embarrassed.

“I thought you liked me. I guess I was wrong…” he muttered.

“I do!” she said loudly, ruining the romantic moment.

“Oops, what did I just say? Seriously Choi Mina you have no shame.” She thought to herself.

Mark smiled. It was the biggest smile Mina had ever seen Mark wear. His eyes turned into crescents and his lips lifted upwards. He looked so carefree and innocent, so happy and fulfilled.

“So are you’re mine now aren’t you?” he asked with a smile playing on his lips.

Mina nodded, still not believing it and still a little lost.

“I really do like you, Mina” Mark said, sensing her disbelief.

Mina looked up at those dark, yet soft eyes. He must be legit about this. Today must be your lucky day, Mina.

 “I never knew you liked me” she said “I always thought it was me. I’ve liked you since year 10 you know, but that’s nothing compared to you, Mark. Since year 8? You must’ve really, really liked me” she said, teasing him and finally believing him.

“Yeah, yeah. I admit it, I really liked you and still do.” He said, slying taking her hand.

She blushed and they interlaced their fingers. Mark’s hand was warm and gave Mina a sense of reassurance.

She looked at the MnM’s in her other hand and smiled, laughing softly at his attempt to be romantic.

“And what was with the MnM’s? That was seriously lame but so sweet” Mina chided.

“I know you love them Mina” he answered with a smile.

“How’d you know?” she asked him.

“Of course I would know, this is you we’re talking about, don’t think you’re the only creepy one that looks at me, I secretly looked at you too, and plus, they stand for you and I, they were made for us” he answered cheekily.

“Mark, I never knew you were this cheesy” she giggled.

 

Somehow, the two seemed to be so comfortable with each other; it must’ve been because of the little things they noticed about each other during school, all those secretive glances that they took at each other that made them understand each other so much, even before they had properly interacted.

And the two stayed together, talking, giggling, laughing, enjoying each other’s company as though they had been best friends since forever with their fingers still intertwined.

 

 

 

-

-

 

 

 

Sometimes in life, all it takes is one tiny step further to achieve your dreams. Let it be your love life, your studies, your work, anything. That little step further may lead to something so much bigger, have a positive impact on your life and make you so much happier. 

 

 

:)