I was always alone. I never needed anyone. I had sworn to myself that i would never trust anyone. But then he came into my life. He changed me, he made me love him and then he left.My name is Shin Miyoung and as far as i remember i had been alone.

My parents had died from an accident when i was 4. I had been badly traumatized. That is all i remember about that time.

After the death of my parents, I moved in with my grandfather whom i never met before. Before when i asked my parents about my grandfather they would always change the subject. Now i know why. From the first minute i saw him i knew he was a bad person and as i started my life at his home i knew i was right. Eversince the moment i had entered that house he abused me.

For three years i lived at that house. For three years i was abused by my grandfather. I couldnt handle it any longer so i ran away. I took my few belongings and left. I swore to myself that i would never go back to that house. I ran and ran until i was out of breath. I looked around me and realised i had reached a park. iI was really tired so i laid down on a bench and before i knew it i fell asleep.

I woke up to the sound of someone rummaging through something. I opened my eyes and realized that someone was running away with my bag. Now i got nothing of my own and nowhere to go. I walked aimlessly for the entireday. begging passerby's for food and having no luck at getting any. I couldnt work as i was too young. As i was walking aimlessly, a stranger came up to me. He offered me food and asked me to follow him. I was young and ignorant so i followed him. The stranger took me to this starnge place and asked me if iwanted to work there. He told me that it was an easy job and that i could get money. So i agreed.

Eversince then i worked as a e. Deep in my heart i knew this was wrong. I tell myself that the reason i ran away was because of things like this. But it was the only way i could make money. It was the only way i could live so i went.

One day it was raining very hard. I had finished "work" for the day. It was was about to be 8 o'clock. I had finished work early as i was not feeling well. I didnt have an umbrella so i had no choice but to walk in the rain without one. I tried to stick to the sidewalks as they provide more shelter but it was no use because it was raining so heavily. I couldnt see where i was going. I felt dizzy and there were black spots clouding my vision and then everything went dark. I woke up to the smell of something cooking. It smelt like the food my mother used to make me, but then again my mother isnt here anymore. I told myself that it was a dream but no matter what ii did the smell wouldnt go away. I opened my eyes and then only did it hit me. It was real. I was lying on a couch in my soaking wet clothes. I started to freak out. Where am I? Wha happened? 

"Are you alright?" someone spoke from behind me. I turned around. He was a boy about my age with black hair. His skin was tanned amost bronze. He was smiling and i could feel the warmth of his smile. He handed me a change of clothes and a towel and directed me towards the bathroom. "hurry up and dry yourself before you catch a cold." he told before walking away. 

I had a relaxing shower. It felt good to shower in warm water on a cold day like this. The apartment i lived in was small and obviously i couldnt afford warm water shower. After the shower i found my way back to the living room A table was set with food and two people were sitting near the table. One was the boy i met earlier and the other was a woman whom i believe is his mother.

"Hello!" said the woman,"come sit down and eat." she said while patting a chair beside her. I didnt know what to do so i just stood there. The woman walked towards me and gently pulled me to the table and got me to sit down. "I guess you must be feeling uncomfortable because we are complete strangers right." the woamn asked. I nodded. "Well then let me introduce myself. I am Kim eunji and this is my son Kim jongin." she said pointing towards the boy. "Jongin found you unconscious on the road and brought you here." So that was what happened. I must have fainted. I didnt trust them but i know that it is impolite to not introduce yourself when the other had already introduced themselves. "and besides they helped you." i told myself. I stood up and gave a slight bow and introduced myself. "I am Shin Miyoung and i ma 25. Thank you for helping me."

I wanted to hurry and leave after introducing myself but they insisted on me eating before i went so i ate. After dinner i thanked the again and quickly made my way towards the door. "Wait." called out Mrs.kim. "Yes!" i turned around and replied. " A young girl like you shouldnt be walkin alone this late at night. Should i call your parents and tell them to pick you up." she asked. I looked down at my feet and replied," I dont have any." "How about a gurdian" she asked. I shook my head. "You live alone." she asked shocked. "Mom! Stop asking those sort of quesions. It might make her feel bad. Dont worry mom. I will take her home." said Jongin.

We walked on the road together in silence. None of us said anything until i reached my apartment. I thanked him and trie to go in but i couldnt. Jongin was holding onto my hand. "What are you doing?" i asked him feeling annoyed. " I want to ask you something." he replied. "what!!" i asked. " well.. why do you work at a job like that." i was taken aback. Does he know where i work? " What are you talking about?" I asked hoping that he didnt know. " I meant the fact that you work as a e." He knows! How? But i was too angry to ask at that moment. "Are you some kind of stalker. I knew i couldnt trust anyone. Let go of me." i pulled my hand away from him and went into my apartment and shut the door. I could see Jongin leaving the apartment through the window. It was hard to see his expression throught the dirty windows. "Why do i need to know. I dnt care about a guy like him any ways." i told myself out loud.

As days went by Mrs.kim visied me alot and ofcourse Jongin came along aswell. She didnt say anything weird so i knew that Jongin hadnt told her. I lied to her saying that I worked as a part-time shop assisstant. I could see the disapproving look on Jongin's face.

"Miyoung ah."Jongin called out to me. I was buying groceries for Mrs.Kim and Jongin had to come along. "Yes!" i turned towards him. "Why do you always ignore me?" asked Jongin. " because the only thing you talk about is the sort of job I have. why cant you stop butting into other's business." i told him. This has become a daily argument between us. Normally he would shut up when I tell him that it is none of his business but today he replied back. "This is my business. What ever happens to you is my business." He said and I could feel the frustration in his voice. "Why is it?" i asked him. 'Because Shin Miyoung..... I care about you and I LOVE YOU." He replied back.

We returned back to Jongin's house completely forgetting the original reason we went out. I never expected him to say it and I doubt he knew he was going to say it himself, Mrs.kim asked why we didnt buy the grocery but decided to call it quits when none of us answered.

I returned back to my apartment dazed by what happened earlier. I decided to skip work today and rest instead. But i couldnt get a wink of sleep. All night the oly thing i could think about was what Jongin said. It made me fell happy,exhilirated, nervous and a lot of other things at the same time, I didnt understand this feeling at all and all night i wondered what it was.

I woke to the sound of my alarm clock. Then only did i realise that i had fallen asleep.I got up and brushed my teeth and changed. Normally i would go visit Mrs.kim at this time and help her with breakfast but i decided to go for a walk instead. I kept on walking without a specific destination in mind until i reached a park. Then only did i realise that it was the park that i had come to when i ran away from my grandfather. I sat down on a bench. I was lost in my thoughts so i didnt notice that someone sat next to me until he spoke. " Iknew you would probably be here. This is the place you come to everytime you want to runaway from reality." I knew who it was without even looking up. That voice only belongs to one person. Kim Jongin. I loooked up and knew i was right. I could feel my heart pounding at the sight of him. I looked away not wanting him to see my blushing face. "So should i take that as a rejection." Jongin said with a smirk. "No!No!' I stammered. "So what will be your answer. If you are unsure i can wait." He said looking at me intensly. "No! i want to tell you now. I dont know when I started to have this feeling but whenever i see you my heart beats faster. The most darkest days feel brighter. I didnt know what this feeling was until you confesses to me. Then I realised that this must be love.' I told him.

We walked back to Jongin's house hand in hand but in silence. I guess none of us knew what to say. We reached the house after awhile . I realized that the park was really close by. Jongin was busy trying to unlock the door. "Where is Mrs.kim?" I asked him. "Mom, went to visit grandma today." replied Jongin. " Come on lets get in."" he said. " Wait!" I told him while holding onto his shirt. " I decided to quit." I said. Before i knew it i felt his arms around me and squeeze me into a tight hug." I am glad. Thankyou for listening to me." I hugged him back and replied, "thank you for helping me."

After that me and Jongin spent the day together. When Mrs.Kim came home, Jongin blurted out the fact that we were going out. Mts.Kim had laughed and accepted our relationship without a single bit of hesitation.

For the next few months we lived happily. The most happiest moments of my life. i found a new job as a part time shopkeeper and also started attending school with the help of Mrs.Kim.

"Miyoung ah! come on. Just once call me Oppa." whined Jongin. Jongin and I were having ice-cream in the park afterschool. "No! Never!" I said while sticking out my tongue. "That makes me sad!" said Jongin while pouting. Then suddenly he started coughing." Are you alright?" I asked him. "Yup! Nothings wrong. I think I am getting a sore throat from having too much ice-cream." he said. "Ok! But tell me if anythings wrong." I told him still worried. But i knew i could trust him. After all he promised he would not keep anything from me.

After finishing off the ice-cream, we decided to go home early to help Mrs.kim with the house-cleaning. She decided that today she was going to clean every inch of the house. On the way we stoppedinfront of the park's garden. Jongin turned around and kept looking at me. I could feel myself blushing. "There is still some ice-cream on your face." he told me. "Where?" I asked him while wiping my face with my sleeve. "Right here!" he said while leaning down and then he kissed me. That was my first kiss and i was happy to give it to the only guy i love and will always love. I could still feel his lips on mine even after he broke the kiss. We walked home holding hands.

After we reached Jongin's house, I started helping Mrs.Km with her cleaning. I was cleaning Jongin's room when i found it. It was a doctors prescription. I checked the patients name hoping it wasnt his but i guess i already knew, the prescription was for Jongin. It says that there is something wronng with Jongin's heart. I grabbed the paper and ran over to where he was. I found Jongin helping Mrs.Kim to clean the living room. I rushed over to him and showed him the paper. " What is this?" I asked him, unable to hold in my tears. "I was going to tell you, Miyoung ah! There is nothing to worry about. I just have to do a surgery and i will be better." he replied. "But you should have stll told me. I tell you everything. Every single thing that happens to me. Why didnt you tell me about this." I shouted at him. "Because i knew you will get worried, and I didnt want to see you worried." He said while reaching out his hands to wipe the tears from my eyes. I turned around and and ran out. i was angry. Angry that he didnt tell me and I felt like he didnt trust me. I blindly walked onto the road and only realized that a car was coming my way when I heard Jongin's shout.

I don't remember the accident that well. All i remember is me waking up in a hospital bed. I got up and rushed out of the ward lookin for Jongin. I found Mrs.Kim crying. I kept staring trying to figure out what happened and then i realized, Jongin saved me but he died trying to protect me. I collapsed on the floor, unable to cry and unable  to do anything else. The only thought going through my mind was, "THIS IS ALL MY FAULT." Mrs.Kim came over and helped me get back to my hospital bed. She kept repeating the same words to me. "It's not your fault." as if she herself was trying to believe that.

I am writing this to myself. This contains all my memories up until his death. All my happy memories with him are in this. I know as time goes these memories would fade. I don't want him to fade away so i will always keep this close to my heart. I had many questions to ask and many memories that i regret yet i dont want to forget. I have never been able to forgive myself. All i know is i am alone once again. 

THIS IS MY FIRST ONE-SHOT! HOPE YOU ALL LIKE IT! FEEL FREE TO SUBSCRIBE AND COMMENT.