“Mor Ri!” Vivi screams as she stomps over to me.  My face buried in a book.  “Must you always be studying...I swear at this point you will never have a social life.”

“Huh?” I look up and see Vivi’s face full of anger.

“Hey! I thought we were suppose to be friends.  Me looking at you reading and watching videos isn’t exactly fun.  We should be able to go out and have fun.  For now, you are in America.  Not Korea.  You take a class, are in a club, and study Korean all the time.   I mean I love those dramas too but jeez woman can’t we be a little more social.”

We are in the library.  I am sitting in the most deserted section of the library.  The Asian History section.  Although at first, I felt uneasy coming to this section because of the many confused faces. Faces of those who wonder why such a young non-Asian girl comes to such a section.  Granted the city I currently live in is not very diverse, I soon became quite comfortable and well known….amongst the older people who are regulars of this section that is.

“Mian-....I mean sorry, Vivi… I just find this culture so fascinating,” I say before pausing, “...actually I don’t know why but...I feel like I’m destined to eventually go to Korea.  It’s like something is waiting for me there. It’s weird and I know I sound crazy but...I feel the need to prepare myself.”

Vivi takes a moment before responding.  “Jeez, you got me saying some really mean things.  Okay, I get it.  I’m sorry for ranting,  I won’t argue anymore…”  She sighs before continuing, “at this point all I hope for is that that ‘something’ that is waiting for you in Korea is a handsome man….preferably an idol or someone with lots of money.”

“Vivi!” I partially scream in astonishment.

“I’m kidding,” she laughs.  She looks around and gestures me to quiet before continuing, “now, are you going to join us for lunch?”

I open my mouth to answer her before pausing.  I finally answer, “I don’t know…”

“Are you still upset with Danielle?” Vivi asks.

I take a moment before responding, “...I’m upset...but not at her specifically….well I don’t know...I don’t know what to think at this point.”

“He hurt her pretty bad,” Vivi interrupts.  “I mean...not as much physically...but emotionally.  She isn’t strong right now, I think.  He did that to her face.  We were all there when she came back from his car and she ran to your arms.  At that moment, although all I could think about was the question of ‘what the happened?’, I did notice your face in utter horror.  I mean...my face was in utter horror...all of our faces...but yours was much more noticeable.”   She pauses to analyse my face before continuing, “thankfully, we were there to comfort her.  Not to mention, Mari was all for kicking his which was hilarious.” She chuckles before quickly realizing that I wasn’t laughing.  “Anyways, she doesn’t know how to control her emotions and that’s why she made such a stupid decision to go back to him.”

“I don’t want to talk about it…” I say in an almost whisper.

“We need to talk about it though, “ she says matter-of-factly, “not only for her sake, but for yours.  Not to mention our friendships.”

“I just can’t deal with it.  I can’t see her right now.  It’s too much.  I’m too emotionally weak to see her go through this.  I’m a horrible friend, I know.  But ever since my favorite uncle died...and later finding out that he died from alcoholism….something like this is just too much for me to bare.  I can’t see my friend go through such pain  I know this isn’t the best way to go about it...but it hurts too much.”

“I get it,” Vivi interrupts me again.  “I know.  You finding out about your uncle was recent too right?  I know this is all too much for you, but soon enough you will have to face reality.”

“I know…” I reply weakly.

“I sound like such a of a friend but it’s true.” she reluctantly says.

“No, you are not.  You are a good friend and you are saying nothing but the truth.  I am the rotten friend.”

“No you are not.  Under the circumstances, anyone would be this way.  In my opinion, it actually shows your strength.  You know when something becomes too much that you need to take some time to gather your emotions.  For now, focus on that.  Later, you can show everyone your greatest strength, which is coming out of this time of emotional collection and showing everyone what strength you’ve developed.”

I take a moment to think about what Vivi said.  “You are an amazing person, Vivi,” I tell her.

“Haha, nah.  I’m just regurgitating all these words that you have said to me before,” she honestly says, “I’m just the friend that is reciting words that you need to here.”

“I didn’t know I was such a good friend,” I joke.

“You are,” she laughs.