Blisters. Blisters and bruises everywhere on his skin, glowing an angry red and bluish purple.

It hurts like hell now in every part of changmin’s body. His throat aches from last night never ending screaming, he is dragging his steps because his lower backside hurt so much and his feet feels like jelly he almost give up. The rope burn mark on his arms, legs and neck can’t stop throbbing too, even though it’s been almost half a day since he is released.

At least he can roam free a bit, he thought for a moment. And immediately shudder about what will happen when that person come back, and trust him, he’s never coming back home in a good mood and that means Changmin will pay the consequences for something he’s never guilty at.

Getting back to the small kitchen, which has been his sanctuary for this past year, He gives up on all his sensory and his feelings. He hugs his knees towards his chest and begin crying silently, shedding one lone tear after another. Only in the kitchen he can let loose of his feelings like this. At least, he feels tranquility and although it probably just an illusion, he almost can imagine being safe.

‘Why.. why has it all become like this?’

Changmin was just a normal college student and was studying medicine until last December, while having a part time job as a waiter in the coffee shop near his apartment. He was always a diligent child, being brought up by his parents not in a really privileged life, having a monetary crisis and all. So he wants to ease off the burden a little bit, by being independent and not hanging onto his parent at all financially. Honestly, maintaining a scholarship is already hard enough, but then he also have to take care of his living expenses so he has to work somewhere.

Then he met that person for the first time. That person. That sweet, loving, yet manipulative person. Whose body sculptured like a living adonis and endearing words spiling out like a sugary nectar. Slowly but sure trapping him onto his palm. Cradle him with so much gentleness before he realized that his body is immobilized already and can’t leave those magnanimous claws.

Jung Yunho. The one and only. The man who everyone loves, and the man who loves everyone. It’s kinda hard not to notice him because his personality is literally shining. Almost every person in his college acknowledge his brilliance. He was in the third year of medschool Changmin attend when changmin was still a freshman, and noted by the society for his perfection, having great look, athletic figure, great social life and top notch academic achievement. He is also known for his kindness and social agility, having all sort of friends and can stay close to all of them. Staying humble when he’s with lower to middle class friend, yet can adapt to the lifestyle with those who live in jetset society while still maintaining class.

Changmin doesn’t remember when and why Jung Yunho started to approach him. He just remembers being fascinated with his smile and piercing eyes. And then, before he knows it, he is already starting to fall to this gorgeous, unflawed man. Because changmin remembers feeling very special at the very beginning, remember getting embraced by his pair of strong arms and shudder below his fluttering touch. And then being drowned with his kiss.

Changmin was very happy, because finally he was getting the love and the attention he long wonders to taste. Because it was his first time being led and being pampered like he is the only one who matters in the world. So he let go and fly into his embrace, loving wholly with every inch he has in his body, because he believe that Yunho is also loving him with every inch of his body. He respected Yunho so much, knowing that He is everything more than he is and will ever be. So he trade his trust with love he is so convinced will get forever.

But god, was he so wrong.

Changmin was so deeply immersed with his sorrow, sprawled in the kitchen until he doesn’t realize a presence which slowly getting nearby.

A single tap on his nape makes him jolt so violently, he flinches and trembles hard immediately.

“Y-Yunho..” Changmin panicked. His eyes widened slightly. He doesn’t have any idea what he has to do right now. He hasn’t prepared mentally nor physically for what yet to come.

Without saying anything, Yunho tugs his hair hard until his head bends backward.

“A-ah, Yunho.” Changmin whimpered.

“It hurts, please release me, Y-yunho” his hands instinctively reach for Yunho’s hand, and trying to get it to release his hair. But his grab just so strong it doesn’t bug even just for a little bit.

Not complying to Changmin’s request, Yunho tugs his hair harder, and a soft sobs escaped Changmin’s lips. His wounds from the previous night still haven’t healed, and he is so terrified looking at Yunho’s eyes right now. So stoic and calm, almost like a still ocean in the middle of the night. But he knows all too well that behind those black orbs there’s a madness lurking behind and a storm that’s yet to come.

“Yun-“

“Pathetic.” Yunho said simply. Words sharp and icy, and though curt, it freezes and cut Changmin’s heart deeper than before, making tears form on his eyes.

“What are you doing all day long, hmm? you can’t even greet me properly”

 “I-I..” not able to finish his sentence, Yunho interrupted him with a hiss.

“You’re just like a piece of trash. So weak and useless. You should have been grateful I’m picking you up. Everyone else would be disgusted seeing you.”

Changmin loses count on how many times he heard those kind of harsh words. And every time it’s still hurt so bad knowing Yunho loathe him that much. He can’t help but feeling so vulnerable because he’s just so within his control and can be easily disposable. And though he’s treated so harshly, the sole idea of him being disposed by Yunho shook him to his very core. He still loves that man. Although his behavior right now saddens him, but it he still need his embrace, no matter how bittersweetly painful that is.

“I’m sorry.. I just woke up less than half an hour I haven’t been able to tidy up the house and myself. Forgive me, Yunho..” He said softly, still trembling hard.

Then Yunho shove him hard and pin both of his arms downwards with one arm without warning, while another arm grabbing his cheeks.

“Then now show me you can make yourself useful.”

Changmin panicked, he doesn’t want to do it here. He blamed himself for his stupidity, why didn’t he think that Yunho will soon come, why he couldn’t just get up and be somewhere else beside the kitchen.

“No! No, please anywhere but here, nooo! Mmpfh.” Changmin is silenced by a violent kiss. His every being doesn’t want to do it here, because this is the only place that hasn't been dirtied. The only place in the entire house that he feels safe, and now there’s nothing he can do. He finally submit and let all his tears pouring heavily while Yunho bit down his lips hard until it draws blood.

Now all he can do is just close his eyes and pray while he’s going through his daily ordeal once more.