-Hyung, how do you know when you’re in love with someone?-

A seventeen-years-old-boy blurt a question with all innocence. His eyes meeting the glance of the taller boy standing in front of him.

-… What do you feel when you see that person?- He wasn’t sure if he wants to hear the answer.

-I… I feel like I’m about to explode. When I see him, my heart is racing abruptly and tempting to go out from my chest. When I met his eyes, I don’t want to be elsewhere. I found myself melting everytime he spoke. The sparks go through my body wildly when our hands rubbed by accident, and…-

He felt embarrassed for every word he said and for every word he was about to spoke.

-He is just perfect. There’s no one like him. D-do you think that can be called love?-

He doesn’t know the effect of his words in the other’s heart.

-I do think so, Jeongguk-ssi- Namjoon doesn’t want to say anything and he couldn’t hear anymore. The silent fell down between the two boys, but didn’t seem to bother the youngest. Is not like he know why the elder kept quiet, just he can’t notice the pain in Namjoon’s chest.

The last shut his eyes tightly, holding the tears which are attempting to drop from his eyes. He let out a sigh, so big that blew Jeongguk’s hair.

-Are you okay?-

-... Sorry, I just I don’t feel well right now. See you later-

Namjoon leaves the place quickly. He felt the angry coming from his hand to his mind. He knew if he doesn’t go out from it, he could do something that he would regret.

Days, weeks, months passed by. He’ll listen painfully to Jeongguk. The lovely stories between him and his boyfriend. His boyfriend. Jimin is the name of such person. He hates him even if Jeongguk is happy with him. Why? Because Jimin stole Jeongguk from Namjoon’s life. He took Jeongguk away from him. They used to spend almost all the time togheter, but when Jimin came to the life of Jeongguk, they stopped to saw eachother constantly. Jeongguk may see Jimin rather than Namjoon. Jealously was all in his head.

But then, the joyfull stories began to drop, replaced by angry sceneries. That hurt more the soul of Namjoon.

-I don’t know why is he acting like this… I mean, he is always making excuses about why he couldn’t see me… We fight almost everytime, and he doesn’t say nothing more. He only apologizes to me, but doesn’t fix anything. He keep lying to me… I-I… - His tone was cloaked in sadness, the stung tears began to blurry the vision of Jeongguk. His exasperating cry started to soak his face. The love before was in Jeongguk’s eyes is changed by all pain and hopelessness. Little by little, Namjoon lost the control each time he heard Jeongguk talk. The madness haze the control of his mind. He felt crazy by the time, the rage inside of him was pouring suddenly. Jeongguk doesn’t know it, better he keep it for himself.

-H-hyung, I think… I think I saw him with other guy… I…- The salty tears started to rolling over the cheeks of Jeongguk, they leave a mark in the broken heart of the boy. His face was swollen and red, trembling nervously for the thoughts he had. Namjoon can’t pretend anymore that he isn’t hurt. Angry keep shouting, desiring an enemy to be kicked out. Drowning in sentiment, he can’t see anything before his eyes. Jeongguk cried in the embrace of Namjoon, and the later cried on the top of Jeongguk’s head. They stayed like this until Jeongguk finally calm himself. His fingers still wrapped around the collar of Namjoon’s shirt. He grabbed it like if he doesn’t did with all strength, he could fell down to the floor and be broken in thousands of pieces.

-Tomorrow night I’m going to see Jimin for talk. Hope this time we can fix our relationship. If we don’t I…  I really don’t know what I can do… Wish me luck, hyung-

That was the final countdown for Namjoon. He can’t see more of the suffering Jeongguk.

He replayed his plan one and other time. Adrenaline ran from toe to hea