This was not part of the one-year plan. This was a part of the five-year plan she made a month ago when they decided they’re better off as lovers than friends. So, this, whatever this is, is unplanned and it’s getting out of control. She is getting out of control and it’s scaring her because she can’t find the will to stop, not when her name is being whimpered out of her lips.

 “Sooyoung,” There it goes again. “Sooyoung,” and again and she tells herself –No. Stop Sooyoung stop- but the chant doesn’t seem to work because finds  its way back to her collarbones doing whatever it is doing on its own.

“Sooyoung..… stop,”  she whispered right next to her ear, echoing her thoughts and no matter how meek it sounded, it still made her snap back to reality, snapped awake. Awake.  It was just a dream.

Wild eyes stare at the ceiling, haze still evident on her face and fear suddenly rushed through her veins because they plan to have their first kiss tonight and what if the Sooyoung in her dream decides to take over her? No! No! They’re way too young to be doing whatever it was they were doing in her dream. Self control. She needs to master self control.

Nauseous.  She is nauseous  for twisting and turning too much in her bed. Everything felt so real she could swear still tastes like Yeri’s body wash. Not that she had tasted it, but it lingers in the air every time she moves, it’s hard not to imagine how it tastes like, so she does, all the time and not a single cell in her body felt guilty for doing so, not until now. Now, that it could actually happen in 12 hours. She could actually taste her and let her melt in . It shouldn’t happen, but, it could, depending on how strong her inner Satan is, who’s fighting her way to the surface at the moment.

She walks her way to the living room and took a deep breath before stepping completely into view. There she is sitting on the sofa next to Joohyun  Unnie watching another vampire movie looking so squishy as ever and she feels a sense of contentment. This must be love. She could spend an entire day doing nothing but pinch her cheeks and  still feel fulfilled. She’d give anything to keep feeling the way she felt when Yeri caught her staring and locked her gaze and smiled that toothy smile.

“Good morning,” Yeri said, pushing Joohyun Unnie rather violently to the other side of the sofa and patting the spot next to her asking her to sit. 

“Good morning,” she replied as she sits down, stuffing popcorn in only to be choked on it when she sets her eyes to the T.V screen just in time to see the vampire on his victim’s neck. It’s familiar, too familiar her face turned pale in a second and she excuses herself stating breakfast is the most important meal of the day.

Swallowing has never been this difficult. Sweating was never a concern when the temperature outside is below zero. She is a mess and in the brink of a panic attack. Yeri is mature beyond her age, but still  innocent and pure and she doesn’t want to steal that away from her. She is still young, underage, to be exact, and there’s a lot of  things she has yet to do, to achieve.  She doesn’t want to be the person who ruined her girlfriend’s future, not that doing anything near everything they did in her dream could conceive anything but, still.

“Wow Sooyoung, have you finally decided it’s time to lose some weight?” Seulgi Unnie said before drinking milk straight from the carton, pointing at her stomach and making her look at it in the process to see her shirt drenched in sweat. “It’s good that you realized yourself, that you’re starting to look like a giant chicken next to us and I don’t have to intentionally blurt it out and possibly embarrass you in an interview,”  she turns around and put the carton back in the fridge which screams world war III with either Joohyun Unnie or Wendy Unnie, she made a mental note to buy popcorn later at the store.  

As Seulgi walks out of the kitchen to saunter back to her beloved bed, it hit Sooyoung that maybe hope is still at hand. Seulgi Unnie dated Joohyun Unnie back in their trainee days. They were already dating when she got cast and joined their trainee group. She remembers them to be disgustingly sweet they gave her chills, wiping each others sweat with one towel, sharing a water bottle and so clingy, their limbs had practically molded into each other's. They were the perfect couple. They had that kind of connection she wished to feel, sparked envy in the depths of her soul. The way they held hands. The way they sighed in each other's mouth that one time she saw them kissing. Those glints in their eyes, that never once made an appearance ever since that night they called it quits. They were perfect and still are and she promised to scrutinize them in the hopes of finding hope in their relationship, once her own problem is taken care of.