Some days I'm alright, I don't have to keep thinking of you. But right now, as the wind is blowing against my face and I'm watching the leaves flow freely through the light blue sky, I'm sitting through class and writing on my English notebook, contemplating on whether I should show this to you or not..

The wind is blowing stronger now, it's the weird transition period between Winter and Spring. All I can think about is how your charcoal black hair would ripple in the wind, just like how the 2 years we've spent together flew by.

Those 2 years flew by so fast; I still remember being overjoyed from the mere sight of my supposed-debut papers, and the excitement back then for being included in the "official" group photos with you and the unnies, ... but honestly, right now, everything else feels so trivial and it seems as if those days just consisted of you and I; I can only remember when we would walk hand-in-hand and endlessly go on about how we'd spend the rest of our years living under the same roof with the rest of the unnies. I miss it, unnie. Really miss you.

One chilly evening during the Spring, we wandered the streets that circled the entire dorm. We went back and forth from reveling in comfortable silence to chatter, and with our arms linked together, we strolled the familiar streets for hours. It didn't really make sense why we did that; Joohyun-unnie even looked for us and we got scolded the next morning. But you whispered in my ear and said it was okay, because it was "sentimental", and because we wouldn't have the same freedom with each other ever again once we debut. You are right, though, to some extent. I miss spending everyday with you.

We don't see each other as much anymore recently, but we met the other day. You looked so pretty with your newly dyed hair, and I'm happy Red Velvet's been winning #1 and sweeping the charts lately ^^;; but you looked very, very tired. Even so, you were still the same Park Sooyoung I know. You were animatedly talking about idol-life and how Joohyun-unnie continues to be authority despite what shows on broadcast, . . I was listening, but at that time, I just wanted to cup your face and if possible, transfer the tiredness from your pale skin, onto mine instead. Does that make sense? Is that weird? I just wanted to whisper sweet things to you, tuck you in bed, and kiss you goodnight. Kiss the tiredness away. Just like how you did to me before, I guess. Just like the old times.

Nonetheless, you were still happy that day. Was it because of me? ㅋI'd like to think so. Anyways, maybe that's how you got your stage-name, Joy? It really fits you, unnie.. I like it!

Unnie, forgive the redundancy, but I really, really miss you. Maybe if I squint hard enough, I'd see you smiling at me by the doorway, just like how you did before, whenever you'd wait for my classes to end. My classes would always end a bit later than yours, I remember. The image of you here is still vivid in my head, - your silky black hair cascading over your arms when you'd wave at me from outside the window, the way your eyes would wrinkle everytime you'd grin at me, or at times, the suffocating proximity (but in a good way..?) when you'd sling your arm around my shoulder. I've been told a lot of times, probably more than the both of us can ever imagine, that it would be easier for me if I were to forget, but there are just some things I can never bring myself to do so.

Anyways, maybe it just isn't for me. But at least I've had a taste of everything, - of genuine happiness, of us, and of almost getting in line, which is probably the most miserable of all . . . but everything should go on. You're living your life and you're still as happy as I've ever seen you, and I'm living mine. There isn't much to it, really, but I don't think I can ever regret anything as much as I do about us . . . although, it was inevitable, I guess.

The wind's stopped now. I'm supposed to be doing some kind of paperwork, apparently, so I think I'll get back to you (or this??) later. I still wonder about you. All the time. I wonder what you're doing right now, . . you said you had a radio show with Gukjoo-unnie, was it? Anyways, I hope you're doing well. You probably are. Miss you, again, unnie. Love you.