Two years go by quickly, more so than Taekwoon thought they would. He still has his library job, and Hakyeon still goes to school, and both are doing fine.

Until one night, Taekwoon walks into their room after taking a shower to find a sniffly Hakyeon, wiping at his eyes with a tissue. It makes Taekwoon pause for a moment, he isn't used to seeing Hakyeon cry.

"What's wrong?" he asks, approaching his friend slowly and carefully.

Hakyeon jumps a little, surprised, but sighs when he sees it's just Taekwoon. "Uh," he says, sniffling again, "Jaehwan and I broke up."

Oh. Taekwoon doesn't really know how to react to this news. Personally, he's surprised they lasted the two years him and Hakyeon have been here. Even Taekwoon could see that from the beginning the distance was making them... distant.

But Hakyeon is still sad, and that night he crawls into Taekwoon's bed, making it squished with the two of them sharing it together. He cries a bit more, and Taekwoon wraps his arms around him awkwardly. He's used to Hakyeon comforting him, not the other way around. But he tries his best, because he hates to see his friend so upset.

Taekwoon gets up earlier than usual the next morning, to make breakfast. He sticks a few frozen pancakes into the microwave, and pours orange juice. He uses blueberries to draw out a smiley face on Hakyeon's pancake, and syrup as the hair. That part doesn't exactly turn out right, the syrup puddling around the pancake instead. But Taekwoon is satisfied with it, and the smile Hakyeon gives him when he sees it makes him happy.

Hakyeon starts to go out after his break up, to parties and clubs and other social things. It never occurred to Taekwoon until now, that during the two years they've been here, not once has Hakyeon even went out done anything without him. He talked about people at his school, and even has a few friends there, but he was always with Taekwoon. So Taekwoon is glad he's getting out a bit now, and is hanging with other people besides him. He doesn't want Hakyeon to commit himself only to him.

But then, Hakyeon starts to come home later and later. Taekwoon lays in bed, worrying. He hates to text him because he doesn't want to seem as if he doesn't want Hakyeon to go out, or try to rush him home. But it's two in the morning, and Taekwoon is incredibly tired, but he can't go to sleep without someone there with him, and without knowing Hakyeon is safe and sound.

He doesn't walk in until three thirty. He doesn't say anthing to Taekwoon as he dresses into sleeping clothes, not noticing Taekwoon is still awake and watching him.

Hakyeon also starts to bring friends to the apartment. He asks for Taekwoon's permission first, and Taekwoon says yes. What else is he supposed to say, really. He can't tell Hakyeon his friends aren't allowed here, when it's mostly Hakyeon's place anyway.

But he hates when they come. There's two or three boys and a girl in Hakyeon's circle of friends, and they're loud, the sound of their chatter and laughter piercing through Taekwoon's ears painfully. He's in the bedroom, door shut and locked, laying on his bed with a pillow over his head. He had originally decided to meet his friends, and hang out with them, but as soon as they knocked on the door anxiety took over him and he ran into the room to hide instead. Hakyeon hadn't come after him, probably knowing he needs his space.

They had asked about him after they'd been there for a few minutes, wondering where he was. Hakyeon told them he was in his room, and that he was just "super shy".

Taekwoon wonders if they know. That's he not just super shy, but also super anxious and super shaky and super different. Has Hakyeon told them? If so, what did they say? What was their reaction? What did they think about him? A billion thoughts runs through his mind.

He can hear them ordering chicken. He's starving, having not eaten since early morning. Chicken sounds so good right now, but he can't eat peacefully around other people and he's not about to go out there. So, he texts Hakyeon.

I want chicken

Okay, I'll take you some :)

Thank you~ Hakyeonnie.

^^

Taekwoon feels a lot better now. But he hears one of the guys in the living room ask Hakyeon, "Who are you texting?"

He laughs when Hakyeon answers, "Taekwoon."

"Why doesn't he just come in here?" the guy asks.

"Because he's shy and doesn't like people," Hakyeon replies. "I told you."

Taekwoon doesn't hear what the guy, or anyone else, says next. For some reason, he feels tiny and vulnerable. He curls into a ball, hugging his knees to his chest and closing his eyes. The guy's malicious sounding laugh replays over and over in his mind.

Taekwoon meets Hakyeon's friends accidentally.

He's home alone, taking a day off from the library. There's a knock on the door, which he expects because before he headed off to work Hakyeon had told him a plumber should be coming to take a look at the leaking pipe underneath the kitchen sink. Taekwoon takes a deep breath before answering.

There's no plumber, but two guys instead. They look to be about his age. Taekwoon blinks with surprise, taking a few steps back.

"Hey," the taller of the two speaks, and Taekwoon instantly recognizes his voice as Hakyeon's friend, the one that had (indirectly) laughed at him. He freezes, his heart pounding and his palms sweaty. "Is Hakyeon here?"

Taekwoon doesn't answer. He can't. He would shut the door in their face, but these are Hakyeon's friends, and he hates to be rude to them.

"Hello?" the other one says, looking slightly annoyed. He repeats the question. "Is Hakyeon here? If he's not, we'll just go."

Just shake your head no, Taekwoon. Stop wasting their time. But he can't, and he's scared, and feels tears in his eyes.

"Are you stupid?" the tall guy asks, and his words slices through Taekwoon, cold and hard. "What is your problem?"

"Let's just go," the other one says, giving Taekwoon a not so nice look.

Taekwoon sinks onto the floor after they leave, his back against the door. He's full on crying now, his sobs coming out like little hiccups. He's hot, shaking, and feels nauseous. It's the first time he's felt like this in a while.

He wonders why Hakyeon hangs out with those people. They seem like s, and Hakyeon's never been one to tolerate s.

Taekwoon is curled up on the cool bathroom floor when Hakyeon comes home. Taekwoon had crawled there from his spot in front the door after he was calmed down a bit, and has stayed there since. He hadn't bothered to make dinner, and didn't answer the door when the plumber came. Hakyeon calls his name, but he doesn't answer.

Hakyeon sits down next him when he founds him, hand going to his forehead, checking for a fever, probably. "Are you okay, Taekwoonie? What's wrong?"

Taekwoon removes his friend's hand off of him in response.

Hakyeon thinks for a minute. "Did the plumber come?" he asks.

Taekwoon shakes his head, then nods.

"I'm getting mixed signals here," Hakyeon chuckles, taking Taekwoon's hand into his. "What's wrong?" he repeats. "Did something happen?"

Taekwoon shakes his head again. A bit too furiously, his bangs bouncing. Once he starts, he can't seem to stop, shutting his eyes because keeping them open is making him dizzy, and he hears Hakyeon trying to get him stop but he cannot. He pushes Hakyeon off, brings his hands to ears to cover them, and screams.

It's been a long, long time since Taekwoon's screamed. It's hoarse and broken and it doesn't satisfy him, so he does it again. And again and again, even after Hakyeon's wraps his arms around him, trying to calm him. It feels like he screams for hours, when really it's less than a minute or so. His face is wet when he stops, unaware he had started to cry. He gasps, trying to get his breathing back to normal.

"Taekwoonie, it's okay." Hakyeon pets his hair softly, and like always, it soothes him.

Hakyeon is angry when he finds out what really happened. He promises Taekwoon he's gonna cut off all contact with the guys, and Taekwoon's not sure how to feel about it. On one hand, he's glad because that means he doesn't have to worry about ever dealing with them again. On the other, while they are , there has to be a reason why Hakyeon chose to hang out with them in the first place, and he doesn't want him to lose his friends.

So, Taekwoon asks why. Why he's friends with those type of people.

Hakyeon blushes a little. "Well, they're pretty nice to me. And funny," he answers. "But I think the real reason is because I had a little crush on one of them. The tall guy." He pauses. "But not anymore. I'm done."

Taekwoon thinks it over a little before answering. "But he's ugly."

Hakyeon laughs so hard he gets tears in his eyes. Taekwoon doesn't know what's so funny about it, but he smiles a little too, always happy to make Hakyeon laugh.

Hakyeon keeps his two other friends, who are a lot nicer to Taekwoon when he meets them. The girl has a nice, quite voice and Taekwoon likes to listen to it as she talks. The guy, on the other hand, is a bit too talkative, but kind. They both are glad the other two are gone, and agree on them being when they find out how rude they were to Taekwoon.

What makes it worse, is that after meeting Hakyeon's friends, is that they guys knew. They knew how Taekwoon is. Hakyeon had told them all, told them he's disabled and needs patience. It upsets Taekwoon a little to know that they knew, yet acted like that towards him. He's glad his question from earlier got answered, though.

Hakyeon's friends also tell him that Hakyeon talks about him constantly, and has told them a lot about him. They say that Hakyeon is always worrying about him throughout the school day, and always brags about the dinners Taekwoon makes him the night before.

Hakyeon blushes. Taekwoon thinks it adorable.

It hits Taekwoon randomly one day.

He's sitting on the couch, watching Spongebob and eating a bowl of cereal. It's when Spongebob asks Patrick what he does when he's gone, and Patrick answers he just waits for him to get back. Taekwoon smiles at it, because it reminds him of himself and Hakyeon. He rewinds, deciding to show it to his friend.

"Hakyeonnie..." he calls out. "Come here."

He eats a few more spoonful of cereal as he waits for Hakyeon, but he never comes. Taekwoon gets up, deciding to go looking for him himself.

Hakyeon's deep in sleep. Taekwoon stands on his tippy toes in order to see over him on the top bunk properly. He's snoring slightly, and his hair is messy. There's a wet spot on his pillow from drooling, and Taekwoon thinks he looks a lot different than the "cool" person he is when he's awake. But, he still looks kinda handsome. Even when snoring and drooling.

Taekwoon doesn't like heights and the top bunk, but he can't resist, climbing up the latter and trying to position himself next to Hakyeon, who wakes up.

He slides over sleepily to make room for Taekwoon, who finally gets comfortable. "Taekwoonie," he mumbles, eyes closing as he falls back to sleep almost immediately. Taekwoon blows air into his face to try to wake him back up, but fails, and decides to let him rest.

Hakyeon has his arms wrapped around him, and he's warm and soft. Taekwoon lays his head on his chest, taking in his scent. He smells like clean linen, and Taekwoon loves it. He loves everything about Hakyeon.

And that's when it hits him.

He loves Hakyeon.

Taekwoon's never been in love. He's never had a crush. He's never kissed, or had . When his eldest sister had gotten married, his parents had said, "Poor Taekwoon. He'll never get married." And he had believed them, had thought he wasn't capable of things like that and thought no one would ever want to love him. He had gotten used to the idea that he was gonna be alone forever in that sense.

At the same time, though, the idea of it has never appealed to him. He didn't think he would like dating or marriage, and the thought of disgusted him. He felt icky just sitting in Ed during high school, or watching some couple with over the top PDA in the grocery store. Even cuddling with someone seemed gross.

But then... he thinks about Hakyeon. He holds Hakyeon's hand without any hesitation, and loves the feeling of their fingers intertwined. He cuddles with Hakyeon all the time, on the couch while watching television or in bed when Taekwoon has a nightmare and can't get back to sleep. He even allows Hakyeon to kiss him at times, just a peck on the cheek or head when he has to leave for school. The thought of still creeps him out, though, but he thinks maybe he could endure it if Hakyeon wanted it.

Taekwoon turns tomato red at the thought. He looks around the library to see if anyone's around him. An old woman catches his eyes and smiles. He quickly looks down, embarrassed.

Then he remembers that people can't see what he's thinking.

Taekwoon is torn. He's always read in books and seen in movies how having a crush is the best and worst thing ever, and he never really understood it. But now he does. Having a crush... literally crushes you. It suffocates you and clouds your mind and consumes every minute of your life. Taekwoon hates it.

He starts to become self conscious. He doesn't want Hakyeon to know he loves him like that, because he's pretty sure Hakyeon doesn't love him back. Not in the same way. He pushes Hakyeon's hugs away, and wipes his kisses off his cheek. Hakyeon thinks nothing of it, assuming that Taekwoon just needs space for the time being.

Then there's a lightning storm, and the electricity goes out. Taekwoon's in the kitchen putting leftovers from dinner away when it happens. He cries out in surprise, and Hakyeon calls his name, telling him he's coming. Taekwoon feels the darkness in front of himself blindly, until a familiar hand grabs his.

"It's okay," Hakyeon says. He uses his cell phone as a flash light, leading the two of them to the couch.

Each time it thunders or lightnings, Taekwoon whimpers, pressing himself against Hakyeon, who hums lowly in order to calm him friend. It feels nice to do this again, being in Hakyeon's arms after avoiding him for a while. Taekwoon has his face burried into Hakyeon's shoulder, and he can smell the same clean linen scent.

Taekwoon remembers when he was younger, and went through a phase where he sniffed people. He wasn't trying to be rude, he was genuinely curious about what people smelled like, and loved the smell of different scents. Unfortunately, it led to a lot of misunderstandings. Sniffing people was not socially acceptable, and embarrassed his parents.

But when he had first sniffed Hakyeon, he hadn't gave him a weird and offended look like everyone else did. He had smiled, and asked him what he smelled like. Taekwoon didn't know the word for it, and had said, "Freshness." Now that he's older, he knows it's clean linen. Hakyeon's scent hasn't changed a bit, and it comforts him.

Months go by. Taekwoon still loves Hakyeon. Hakyeon still doesn't know.

It might sound strange, but the grocery store is one of Taekwoon's favorite places to go. Maybe he likes the fact that he's surrounded by food, or that they're buying food to take home with them. Or maybe it's the delicious smells that comes from the in store bakery. Whatever it is, Taekwoon likes the grocery store, and it puts him in a good mood when him and Hakyeon go.

He follows behind Hakyeon, pointing out things they need when Hakyeon forgets to grab it and keeping up with how much they're spending. Hakyeon takes grocery shopping seriously, and concentrates on it hard.

There's free samples of a red velvet cake at the bakery, and Taekwoon eats two of them. Hakyeon, seeing how much he loves it, gives him his piece. It makes Taekwoon indescribably happy.

"Hakyeonhakyeonhakyeon," he says, tugging on Hakyeon's arm lightly as Hakyeon examines a few loaves of bread. Hakyeon looks surprised at this sudden behavior.

"What?" he asks, curiously. Taekwoon doesn't answer.

"Hakyeon," he says instead. "Hakyeonhakyeonhakyeon"

Hakyeon smiles as he puts the bread loaf in their basket. "Taekwoontaekwoontaekwoon," he plays along.

They go back and forth at each other like that for the rest of the shopping trip. And the ride home. And while they put the groceries up. Hakyeon is the one who stops first, his throat getting sore and his mouth getting dry.

"You win," he tells Taekwoon.

Taekwoon wasn't really playing a game, but the fact that he "won" still satisfies him. "Hakyeonhakyeonhakyeon."

Hakyeon chuckles, his hand going up to Taekwoon's hair. "Do you like my name, Taekwoonie?"

Taekwoon nods slowly, feeling bold. "It's pretty," he says shyly, his face blushing. "I've always thought that."

He's shocked at himself, and Hakyeon is, too, his eyes widening slightly at Taekwoon's compliment. Taekwoon freezes for a moment before Hakyeon grins.

"Well, thank you. I like to think that everything about me is pretty." He laughs.

Hakyeon meant it as a joke, but Taekwoon thinks it's the truth. Everything about him is pretty.

Surprisingly, Taekwoon gets another friend.

It happens when the library starts hosting a "special needs young adults" support group every Friday. Taekwoon has hated the words "special needs" ever since he was a child, but he's pretty interested. He's never really thought about hanging out with other people like him, mostly because he has Hakyeon, and why would he need someone else when he already had such a great best friend?

But still. The head librarian tells him that he's welcomed to attend if he wants to, and he hesitantly writes his name on the sign up list. He reads all the names, the names of people like him, and is pretty anxious to meet them.

There's only around six people at the first meeting, including him. He keeps his eyes on the floor, not sure what the hell he's doing here. He can't do this. There's no way.

At five o'clock, on the dot, the girl to his left starts to talk. Apparently, she's the one who decided to start the group, because she was sick of feeling like she was alone and wanted to find friends that could relate to her. She explains that the group is also for venting, talking, and just hanging out when they have nothing else to do.

She then has them to tell their name. Taekwoon is up first, and he immediately gets jittery, freezing in his seat.

"It's fine," she says. "We'll just go to the next person."

He's relieved she doesn't make him speak, and that there's another person, a girl, that can't say theirs either. Her eyes are wide and her hair looks so soft and silky

Taekwoon has to fight the urge to run his fingers through it.

He later learns her name is Rin Hi.

Taekwoon's a bit too shy to approach her in the group, where they're surrounded by other people. He keeps to himself, and she does the same, watching everyone else with her wide eyes, each week.

He catches her in the library, though, on a non support group day. He's putting a few books back on the autobiography shelf, and she's standing right next to him, browsing through the titles. He doesn't even realize it's her at first, too focused on his job.

They meet eyes, and she looks surprised to see him. Taekwoon's wonders what he should do. They've already made eye contact. He's in too deep.

He goes with a simple,